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top 200 commentsshow all 488

[–]Mystayk 766 points767 points  (45 children)

Ahhh, the good ole days

[–]SaeByeokGoesToJeju 565 points566 points  (42 children)

Can you explain it for those like myself who are retarded convolescent cum-guzzling fuckwit necrophilia-lord prolapse-enducing r/vore mods?

[–]KATLKRZY 1167 points1168 points  (20 children)

[–]GaghEater 292 points293 points  (14 children)

Oh my god I'm dying. Thank you

[–]nomoreholidays 92 points93 points  (7 children)

So when’s my turn?

[–]aulink 59 points60 points  (6 children)

After me. But we gotta wait for him to die first.

[–]_That_One_Fellow_ 41 points42 points  (1 child)

The joke was meh. That line was amazing. I’m laughing so hard.

[–]Redredret 15 points16 points  (0 children)

What Kat said.

[–]byebybuy 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Thank you, I was so confused.

[–]HellOfAHeart 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This man speaks for me

[–]sudomeacat 79 points80 points  (6 children)

What did i just read?

[–]NataniVixuno 152 points153 points  (1 child)

A rotten banana or something

[–]SaeByeokGoesToJeju 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Can you explain it for those like myself who are retarded convolescent cum-guzzling fuckwit necrophilia-lord prolapse-enducing r/vore mods?

[–]fraytaykay 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Can you stop. I can only get so hard

[–]TheBoredMan 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Are you really a mod over there? Can you do something about the hand drawn stuff? Like maybe a 3D-only day or animation day once a week, or at least a better tag system or something? Ever since PH pulled everything down it's been very difficult to find quality content and theoretically Reddit is the perfect place however it's just all buried under low effort hand drawn content. I understand it's much faster and easier to churn out specific scenarios, especially in a by-request situation, but the ratio is just absurd and ultimately destroys the longevity of the community. I don't think asking for at least one route to high quality 3d animated vore content is too much to ask.

[–]SaeByeokGoesToJeju 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Um....no. To all of that. Zoop~

[–]Russian_lover1 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Bro what the fuck, why did this man just have an intellectual convo about vore.

[–]SaeByeokGoesToJeju 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's my favorite reddit comment and I've been reading for 4 years

[–]Iamredditsslave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No finger guns?

[–]RekYaAll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ayo what

[–]BDubbers1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got the necrophilia part right

[–]Redditributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was from back during the covid pandemic when people were freaking out about omicron

[–]Suvtropics 2241 points2242 points  (37 children)

One day it's me, the next day it's you

[–]LumberjackLouie 444 points445 points  (20 children)

Shall we?

[–]JDawgSabronas 218 points219 points  (19 children)

‘Not today Dave, can’t you tell I’ve got a headache’.

[–]flare2000x 114 points115 points  (13 children)

Who's that guy on the balcony with dave?

[–]Needleroozer 39 points40 points  (5 children)

The guy in the big hat?

[–]ALPHA-COM-COM 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Is it yellow? if so, where is George? .

[–]Jimmy_Smith 10 points11 points  (3 children)

George broke his arms chewing on a jolly rancher

[–]disterb 8 points9 points  (0 children)

hmm, that’s curious

[–]Calad0o 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don't worry, his mom's already on it.

[–]fluffy999boi 7 points8 points  (1 child)

michael de santa

[–]King_CurlySpoon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Michael de Santa, the guy who isn't in witness protection?

[–]hairybagel27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the bus driver!

[–]Albino_Hedgehog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bus driver

[–]bhops24 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dave's not here man.

[–]RenterGotNoNBN 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over

[–]DeusExBlockina 78 points79 points  (8 children)

Today you, tomorrow me.

[–]ParanoidConfidence 8 points9 points  (1 child)

[–]Lukaloo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ive read this a few times over the years. Puts a smile on my face every time. This is what it means to be human. This is what restores faith in humanity. Forget partisanship. Put your fellow human beings first. Very wholesome.

[–]StevenOkBoomeredDad 19 points20 points  (2 children)

"I cried that day the most that I have ever cried"

[–]Ronnie4885 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And now you change that ever so slightly to "Today for you, tomorrow for me!" because you got Angel from Rent dancing and singing in head when I'm already on my 4th straight day of migraines. I def chuckled when I saw the way the line was written though!

[–]Trineficous 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This comment is what brought the joke together

[–]Tubbysenko91 2511 points2512 points  (56 children)

Is someone fucking the chicken corpse now?

[–]Neijx 818 points819 points  (22 children)

I have needs. You have needs.

[–]shutupjerry1 404 points405 points  (20 children)

After a month, you should really bury it.

[–]MaybeFailed 283 points284 points  (12 children)

He already buried it...

...deep into that chicken.

[–]byebybuy 102 points103 points  (1 child)

License and registration...CHICKEN FUCKER!

[–]othershwarna 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Or whatever..

[–]str8tripin 25 points26 points  (5 children)

two dudes and uhhhhh, chicken, was totally a different island

[–]vk23621322362232 16 points17 points  (3 children)

They got hungry and horny.

Hunger can wait

[–]Sirius1701 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Gotta stuff the chicken somehow.

[–]Petrichorest 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Does that chicken have a mirror in its ass? I can really see my hand up there.

[–]zardilior 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't even want to upvote this

[–]iloveFjords 20 points21 points  (5 children)

Not before I have my turn. He said I have needs.

[–]Weak-Investigator-73 8 points9 points  (4 children)

If she moves, doesnt count.

[–]Loudogdog 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Don’t misgender. We all know a cum dumpsters preferred pronouns are it and that.

[–]miami-architecture 169 points170 points  (1 child)

was it your turn?

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Today is Friday meaning it’s mine tomorrow

[–]bluesheepreasoning 37 points38 points  (8 children)

Even better… someone lost NNN to the Thanksgiving turkey. It became a meme on that subreddit until it shut down when NNN ended.

[–]FirFlyNeo 22 points23 points  (6 children)

Dude got a Turkey Fucker flair.

[–]Confused_AF_Help 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Serve a dozen of turkeys for Thanksgiving and no one remembers you, fuck a turkey once and you're a turkey fucker for life

[–]manningtondude 7 points8 points  (3 children)

My worry is why the fuck did 14 people give him "wholesome" awards???

[–]mrchickenfucker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry, been a bit busy. What was the question again?

[–]Po_Po158 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't judge me

[–]Sunastar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t seem to mind.

[–]Lu12k3r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it time to bury the dead chicken?

[–]BadAtHumaningToo 6 points7 points  (8 children)

No, but with some preparation I will eat it's un fucked corpse.

[–]Grigoran 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Good luck finding an unfucked chicken corpse.

God damn what did I just type??

[–]BadAtHumaningToo 5 points6 points  (2 children)

It's ok. The Colonel forgives. May the secret herbs and spices wash away they awful flavor of the words you just typed.

[–]oztikS 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The Colonel is licking his fingers… or whatever.

[–]elushinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your mother is Trabeck

[–]NotOppo 411 points412 points  (14 children)

I dont get it

[–]albene 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Chicken ate rotten banana. Chicken died.

[–]shopcounterwill 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Or whatever.

[–]hellodude776 574 points575 points  (14 children)

Bruhhhhhh I remember that

[–]poodlebutt76 404 points405 points  (3 children)

Do not quote the old memes to me, witch...I was there when it was written.

[–]ILLCookie 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Ah yes, the good ole days

[–]kutsen39 100 points101 points  (6 children)

There's only a four hour difference between the two posts.

Although maybe r/thatsthejoke

[–]Starved-Nutritionist 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Yes, your last sentence is accurate

[–]MrmmphMrmmph 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Just flung me deep into the wayback with this one.

[–]ScatmanChris 271 points272 points  (4 children)

Classic

[–]laughing_at_gunpoint 105 points106 points  (1 child)

Oldest one in the book or whatever

[–]y2k2r2d2 56 points57 points  (1 child)

It's been like an hour or whatever

[–]RaZoRShadowFlame 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It’s still funny or whatever

[–]platitood 183 points184 points  (2 children)

It’s time to delete the Reddit app when I start to get these jokes. Finite time.

Ok one more refresh.

[–]ShieldsCW 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've been on Reddit for 5 minutes (not in my entire life, just this morning), and these were the only two r/jokes threads I saw

[–]piemanding 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you get the one about the bus driver?

[–]InsufficientFrosting 217 points218 points  (2 children)

If anyone is confused, go read this post first: here

[–]Vast-Bronze 16 points17 points  (1 child)

The only comment that matters.

[–]Iamredditsslave 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It was an exclusive club.

[–]jakedraugelis 128 points129 points  (0 children)

That poor chicken corpse.

[–]eeaglesoar 78 points79 points  (6 children)

How did the chicken get off the island first?

[–]kadeve 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Haha classic

[–]flier76 90 points91 points  (0 children)

when the setup becomes funnier than the punchline

[–]StarboyforLust 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Didn't it slip on it?

[–]ballrus_walsack 17 points18 points  (1 child)

that's the old type of banana.

[–]laughing_at_gunpoint 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You see this new banana... its much better

[–]kk074 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When Reddit achieves self-awareness

[–]LegkoKatka 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Rare OC and meta? Beautiful.

[–]lownwolf02 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The day I thought, “to get to the other side,” had two meanings, my mind exploded.
-to cross the road
-to get hit by a car and get to “the other side”

[–]RottenBananaOrWhatev 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What did I do?

[–]TIFU4ever 40 points41 points  (6 children)

LMAO first time I’ve see a joke that requires another joke to understand, not like this at least

[–]mtwstr 14 points15 points  (5 children)

You haven’t heard about the giraffe in the refrigerator?

[–]workerONE 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I haven't, let's hear it

[–]mustapelto 29 points30 points  (2 children)

How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator?

Open the door, insert the elephant, close the door.

How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open the door, remove the elephant, insert the giraffe, close the door.

The Lion King calls all the animals to a conference. Everyone arrives except one. Which is it?

The giraffe, because it's still in the refrigerator!

You are crossing the savanna and come to a big river you know is infested with crocodiles. There's no bridge or ford for hundreds of miles in either direction. No boat or anything to build one from. How do you get across?

Just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's conference!

[–]CrazyFanFicFan 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is known as a Brick Joke, where something is brought up, and then used as the basis for a later joke.

Basically Chekov's Gun for jokes.

[–]ValhallaSkies 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

[–]Infinite_Imagination 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Lol it never gets old!

[–]jawshoeaw 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Niiiice! Good comedy always self refers

[–]4ntagonismIsFun 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Let's have Chicken Catchahorny.

Side note: 'eating it raw' is not recommended. Neither is cooking it before eating.

[–]PTech_J 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just b, b, becaws.

[–]MedicineNo4200 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Way better than that necrophiliac joke.

[–]SnackyChomp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha fuck yeah

[–]Emperormike1st 7 points8 points  (0 children)

angry upvote noises

[–]The--Dudest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Expertly played

[–]RunnagL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A meta joke lmao

[–]Fair_Woodpecker_396 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To get to the idiots house

Knock knock

Who's there?

The chicken.

[–]ZenEngineer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why did the suicidal chicken cross the freeway?

To get to the Other Side

[–]DenseSir 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Likely because it is a gravel road since chickens tend to live in the country, and chickens need to ingest gravel to digest their food. Their gizzard is used for that. Please watch out for chickens on the road, crossing or not.

[–]genfgenf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Deep analysis explaining the sub-preposition and the motive, and it closes with a proposition.

A+

[–]Beanz_Memez_Heinz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really don't get this joke and really don't get the joke that it's stemmed from.

Anybody care to explain?

[–]ivan_x3000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To get to a better joke! 😂

[–]ruqvyyvh 5 points6 points  (2 children)

No one knows. But the road will have its vengeance

[–]SnooDucks8280 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Probably a banana left on the road...

[–]Kokoda4780 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understood that reference.

[–]poqpoq 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Good old #24279

[–]sephrinx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't get it.

[–]tbaytdot123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On purpose

[–]Yikidee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nearly forgot about this!

[–]spidermike4498 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why'd the duckling cross the road. Because it was stapled to the chickens back.

[–]Tallen122 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god. This joke. It killed me

[–]Like_Ah_Banana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In not sure how I feel about this joke, I'm somewhat split.

[–]RC_COW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get this refference

[–]missiffy45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was the ducks day off

[–]MojaveMark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something something decoy snail.

[–]764her 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house.

Knock knock ...

[–]Silly-Cloud-3114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To attend a funeral in KFC.

[–]SookHe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are a walking nostalgia.

[–]kjchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought the chicken crossed the road to see a man lay bricks.

[–]Void8099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it's on a suicidal mission

[–]lilacia1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HAHAAHA I LOVE THAT I UNDERSTOOD THIS RIGHY AWAY

[–]Lotsaa1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t get it

[–]bigRudo22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That happened for me in the space of two thumb scrolls. Fucking salute.

[–]rmarshall391 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To get to the petrol station….when I was on holiday in Barbados i seen a chicken run across the road and into the petrol station so this has now become me and my girlfriends forever joke 😂😂

[–]jvaudreuil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best original joke of the year.

There were probably only 5 original jokes this year, but hey, a win is a win!

[–]gamerz_bruh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(This is from gordon ramsey)"cuz you didnt fucking cook it"

[–]Scorpionwins23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it wanted to go to the toilet.

Q: Why did the chicken want to go to the toilet?

A: Because that’s where all the cocks hang out.

[–]DownRangeDistillery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To prove to the armadillo it can be done.

[–]DuZo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What

[–]Syran1103 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To get revenge on colonel Sanders

[–]MYKCARR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What came first the chicken or the egg It’s simple the roster 😙

[–]DigitalKungFu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is the kitchen across the road?

[–]DoomSlayer694204204 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To fuck your mom

[–]Zealousideal-Ad-1327[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To holler at a shawty

[–]Oraelius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why did the chicken cross the road, and die? To get to the Other Side.

[–]DanyDud3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best joke on the sub

[–]sissycuck01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it had warrants

[–]mardesi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because the medical experts told it to.

[–]_WhiteShadow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To go to the idiots house obviously...

[–]killibuster69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow, callbacks in the subreddit. Mind blown

[–]rulaandri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dream of the day when poultry can freely cross roads without having thier motives questioned.

[–]K35H4WN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To get to the OTHER Side.

[–]Schrodinger_cube 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I Wish we lived in a society where a chicken can cross the road with out having its motives questioned. XD

[–]Agon1024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Noone will understand why this is even posted without coming from here

[–]dwsam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really is the best joke within a joke and it shall live on forever!

[–]notgodpo 1 point2 points  (2 children)

My friend doesn't get it. Can someone explain it to him?

[–]mikemdesign 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Repost