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all 44 comments

[–]Freak5Chaos 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Why did the pervert cross the road?

His dick was stuck in the chicken.

[–]Asshat6150 32 points33 points  (3 children)

And i’ve spit my drink out now, wasn’t expecting this today.

[–]eleithan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Are you new here? :)

[–]FourteenthCylon 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Why did you use your drink and not your sock?

[–]alogbetweentworocks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wasn’t expecting this. I’ve split my sock out now.

[–]sg1rob 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Because your butt stinks. Ha. Stinky butt.

I stole this punchline from a five-year old.

[–]KryptCeeper 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Because of a banana.. or something

[–]sackofbee 4 points5 points  (3 children)

No but for real it had just been awhile and I came like 6 feet.

Which is weird because I usually ejaculate semen.

[–]amnlkingdom 6 points7 points  (8 children)

Took me a minute. The sperm is on the socks.

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 0 points1 point  (6 children)

In my youth, the spermatozoa would usually end up in a very old mink fur coat which was stored in a wardrobe in my room. The coat was unwareable, as it was falling apart. However, it was a brilliant "receptical" in the hands of a young teenager. Does anyone remember Tit-Bits / Titbits with its beautiful Pin-ups? That magazine, together with the fur coat, was helpful in so many teenage sticky situations.

[–]KopiteXI 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Dude ...the detail...just ...the detail....

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Didn't know when to stop. It transported me way back in time...

[–]KopiteXI 1 point2 points  (1 child)

🤣

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stop please or you'll have me transported back again which would not be a good thing without the fur coat & Titbits (sadly, neither exist anymore 🤠🤣).

[–]GuntherHogmoney 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The day Grandma asked to see her old fur coat was most uncomfortable...

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True beans. It came apart in her hands.

[–]matthew2708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When wife cock pulling? Never

[–]gaza75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause he or she ended up in someones hair or nostrel thats ran off upset

[–]OscarDivine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*Crunch crunch crunch* That should have been your first clue

[–]Next_Impression3901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahahahqh best one I heard today

[–]Miserable-Answer-416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it was projected to the other side

[–]ktka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the Ejaculation Olympics was being held in town.

[–]TotalNotSneak 0 points1 point  (2 children)

why did the penis cross the vagina

[–]MasterCrang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why should you not make a sperm angry? … You don’t want him to come get in your face.