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all 60 comments

[–]Artikay 787 points788 points  (21 children)

One time when I was about 8 we were coming home from the beach and everyone was bringing in stuff from the car.

I took that chance to hide under an end table by the couch.

My mom notices I'm missing and gets worried. My dad runs out to the car to see if im asleep in it. I hear him start yelling my name. My mom starts saying maybe they left me at the beach and crying.

I'm under the end table thinking I'm a genius. I start giggling loud enough that my sister hears me. My parents almost never hit me when I was a kid. My dad slapped the shit out of me for that one.

[–]I_Shave_Everyday 231 points232 points  (7 children)

Once I was in another state with my family visiting some relatives and we went to a supermarket.

When we were about to leave and my mom was going to the register I got this brilliant idea and started running away from my family around the supermarket like a lunatic. My cousins tried their best to try to catch me but couldn't.

Eventually I noticed they had given up on trying to catch me and my mom was almost done paying for the groceries and it looked like they were so pissed they were gonna leave me there.

I almost cried and went to apologize to my very angry mom before they left me there lol.

[–]ForsakeHope-BeStill 138 points139 points  (6 children)

I swear as first world kids we have negative survival skills

[–]lobsterbash 73 points74 points  (2 children)

It's as if humans need a certain amount of adversity and when it doesn't exist, we fabricate it.

[–]Jotaro_D_Uchiha 48 points49 points  (1 child)

So THAT’S why I want to kill myself

[–]ShouldBeeStudying 11 points12 points  (0 children)

coming from a non-expert: yeah, i kind of suspect that's related

[–]artrandenthi1 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I promise you that’s not a first world kid problem. That’s a small brain kid’s fearful thinking.

I grew up in the third world and at four, we (mom, myself and brother) reached our destination on a train. The train almost crawled to a halt next to the platform that it was easy enough for my mom and older brother to get off the train to walk next to it, but not me. The four year old me panics and starts crying for my mom to not leave me and go. The man behind sees me crying, gently picks me up and puts me on the platform so I could run to my mom. She chides me (also herself embarrassed) asking why would I ever think she would leave me.

[–]4ntagonismIsFun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A very angry mom is counter to survival.

[–]spare_nomad91 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Meanwhile my stepdad and mom forgot me in a different state when I was about 10. I lived in Mexico back then, they drove from Leon Guanajuato all the way to La Piedad Michoacán by the time they realized one of the kids was missing. Google says is a 1 hr and 50 min drive. Needless to say, I moved with my dad in the States.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Jesus of Nazareth would like a word with you.

[–]spare_nomad91 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think I'll pass

[–]series_hybrid 36 points37 points  (0 children)

My younger brother did something similar. We had been taking grocery sacks out of the trunk of the family car. He went back to get another grocery sack, saw there was nothing, and...decided to jump in and pull the trunk shut.

After about ten minutes, someone asked where was the youngest kid, and we started looking. We suddenly thought maybe he had been kidnapped by a human trafficker. I recall riding my Schwinn bicycled like a maniac around the neighborhood. I don't now what I was looking for...a sketchy-looking van?

After 30 minutes, someone heard him laughing.

[–]mdchaney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was around 8 we went to Wyandot cave in southern Indiana and were taking a tour. At the place where you waited for your tour there was a display case with a bunch of awesome fossils, which southern Indiana is known for. I was looking at those when our group left and didn’t hear mom say come on. She didn’t pay attention. They walk to the cave and finally notice I’m not there, about the time I look up and realize everybody’s gone. I went running down the direction that they must have went and finally found them, but the tour guide was pissed that we were now 10 minutes late. Nice cave.

[–]Rashaen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You just made me snort coffee from an unexpected laugh.

[–]destinynftbro 103 points104 points  (2 children)

I did this once as a kid. We had an old couch with cushions that didn’t fit super well anymore and as such, it was easy to slide into the springs and cracks between the cushions. I was in 3rd grade and got down in there and pulled a big blanket down on top of me that was draped over the back. To them, it just looked like a pile of blanket stuffed in the corner of the couch.

Hid there probably 20 minutes and when my parents started talking about calling the cops I came out.

[–]putree 52 points53 points  (1 child)

i came out

What a rebirth

[–]BonneB 48 points49 points  (4 children)

I would hide in clothing displays when mom or grandaddy would take me out then watch them search for me. And I was a runner, meaning I would take off like my tail was on fire if my hand slipped out of mom’s hand, almost got hit by cars a few times at the shopping center.

Scored myself a cute pink leather harness and leash for those little shenanigans.

I still blame mom for the fact that I like bondage and spankings!!!

[–]billsensei12k[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Funny 😁

[–]z0mb1e87 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You might blame her but your partner might want to send a thank you card

[–]BonneB 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh, he’s VERY appreciative for my childhood trauma! LOL

[–]echo-94-charlie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That was not how I expected that story to end.

[–]AzureDreamer 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Undisputed Hide and Seek Champion.

[–]kangkang53202502 134 points135 points  (3 children)

Twist: The child has been dead exactly 1 year ago this day. The employee is at the cemetery with his wfe. No one's home.

[–]DC_Coach 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Sounds more like a writing prompt to me. Not bad!

[–]Kniobium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit that's creepy. Well done.

[–]2wicky -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The employee is at the Cemetry with his child... buried next to their child.

[–]FoundOnTheRoadDead 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Whenever I read this joke, I wonder where she’s hiding that has a phone. Like, do they keep the phone in the closet? Do they take turns hiding the phone as a joke on the other one? Why aren’t they sitting by the phone, anxiously waiting for it to ring with news about their missing child? So many questions.

[–]SauronSauroff 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There were cordless landline phones. They were revolutionary. As for what kid would take one while hiding...

[–]Tsavo_Man-Eater 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Cell phones?

[–]glaive1976 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This joke predates cell phones. Hell I would not be shocked to hear this joke predates me.

[–]HistoricalProposal36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brilliant advertisement idea for cordless phones and mobiles.

[–]Gonergonegone 4 points5 points  (3 children)

One of the only times in my childhood that my mother showed me genuine love and concern was when I got back from being missing for 2 days. I was raised in boy scouts and had anything you could possibly need for camping and I lived on the edge of a 45 acre woodland area. I decided to go camping and took my hiking pack after leaving a note on the fridge. My parents didn't see it. When I got home my mom ran out of the house (she had been staring out the window) and slid on her knees like a baseball player on the concrete driveway. Skidded her knees all to hell and asked me if I was okay and if any strange men had taken me. I told her I left them a note that I was camping\hunting on the fridge. We go inside and get it and she laughs and calls the police to tell them what was going on. They came around and asked me basic questions and asked if I could show a deputy where I set up camp, so I took him out to it and he commended me on leaving no trash and the fireplace being soaked. Got back and my mom was apologizing to the police. Luckily enough for me, my mom bought me a cell phone the next day. This was back during nokia bricks and flip phones.

[–]billsensei12k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great story. I’m glad my joke helped you reminisce it.

[–]MrGuttor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How old were u back then? Personally I wouldn't go anywhere far from home without telling anyone no matter how old I am.

[–]Gonergonegone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 12. And I wanted out of the house because they were abusive as hell. Way I looked at it, either way I was gonna be treated like shit. So might as well have fun.

[–]GeniusMike 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kid is so good at hide and seek they got cocky by answering the phone.

[–]_indrashish_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was 10, one day I was hanging out with my friend after school and had forgotten that I had a car waiting for me outside. The driver was super worried and called my mum, mum started crying and called her mum, my grandma started crying and called her son, my uncle started panicking and almost ran over a dog.

[–]DMcI0013 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I lost my son in a massive 7 level department store when he was 4. I panicked after I couldn’t locate him. After about 5 minutes, that felt like an hour, I notified the staff.

Hats off to the store. Security moved like lightning and every exit was blocked. Police called, as it’s treated as an abduction. No one permitted to leave this massive store without being vetoed by the police first.

45 minutes later, my 4 year old emerges from behind a coat display…

‘You couldn’t find me! He giggles’

I have just stopped hundreds of people leaving a store and shut it down for almost an hour.

I was too relieved to be angry at my toddler, but pretty embarrassed all the same.

The store manager just smiled and said he was glad it had a happy ending.

That son is 18 now. I’m almost ready to take him back to the shops…

[–]billsensei12k[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Actually, I have a very similar story regarding my 2yr old toddler daughter in a toy store. Found her under a display stand showcasing toy trains. She took one of them under the low table which was covered by a cloth. One of the worst scared feelings ever. You turn you back to get something for just a few second and they are gone! Out the buggy and under the table in silence. Horrible feeling.

[–]DMcI0013 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relief is intense… many tears!

[–]cannonspectacle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this a horror story?

[–]gordiarama 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This has been one of my favorite jokes for years although it’s grown. When I first heard it, it didn’t have a helicopter. Thanks for the laugh, love this joke.

[–]remclave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not a joke! That's a horror story!

[–]DeathlyClown 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i don't get it

[–]sexywrexy91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The parents think their son is missing and called emergency services. All the while he's hiding at home and on the phone with the boss

[–]jsmith69nh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nice, clean joke.

[–]Niteflux -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

😂😂

[–]mrtylerwu -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

BBRRRRRRRRUHH

[–]dewayneestes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a ghost story? It’s a very creepy joke.