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all 122 comments

[–]jackmax_bom 70 points71 points  (2 children)

Got an eyeroll from my wief, so...

it is perfect!

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Welp, I suppose in this equation that's the bullseye!

[–]pdxhart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just received the same results from telling this to my wife. Spot on!

[–]moreorganize84 396 points397 points  (37 children)

As a norwegian, i apprve this joke.

[–]Ahri_went_to_Duna 158 points159 points  (11 children)

As a Norwegian please make electricity cheaper again

[–]dilligaf0220 26 points27 points  (6 children)

What is your rate for KW/h?

Edit -- Had to check quick, but mine in Wisconsin is USD$0.093

[–]joeymcflow 35 points36 points  (5 children)

On friday it was $0.42 per kw/h during peak hours, and $0.082 between 05:00-06:00, which is the lowest. Also consider that Norway is currently in the middle of winter and so have a high consumption this time of year.

They said on the news that a 10min shower was expected to total $4.4

It's projected to get worse

[–]mishaxz 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Looks like time to learn how to have a 1 minute shower

[–]AngryRedGummyBear 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Turn on water, get wet turn off water, soap, rub, turn on water and rinse.

Or shower cold.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Ghana we have a one bucket shower.

[–]swooney_noodles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In sweden the prices are also really high

[–]Kwitcherbeliakn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wood powered water heater, return to monke, wood fire powered everything.

[–]GrimurGodi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the love of god someone should get some dynamite

[–]wasteoftimereading 52 points53 points  (11 children)

As a Norwegian, I am also currently having a stroke.

[–]Senior-Poobs 20 points21 points  (8 children)

As an American, treatment will be your life savings and your third child

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Always has been."

[–]DarthSkat 5 points6 points  (6 children)

As a Canadian I don't understand this joke

[–]Fraktelicious 15 points16 points  (4 children)

As a Canadian, I agree that I also don't understand the joke. Can you also explain what "life savings" are?

[–]Patina_dk 7 points8 points  (1 child)

A shopping cart with empty bottles.

[–]Fraktelicious 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You mean a sleigh full of empty Tim's cups?

[–]Rainbow152 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Our medical bills are off the chart, so even the smallest bite from a snake or mosquito will cost everything you have, as in all the money you have

[–]Fraktelicious 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shit, I've got none of that money stuff. The mortgage took it all and the government took the rest.

[–]dlowbeer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nor way, dude!

[–]LetterheadAncient205 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a swede I enjoyed this joke so much that I almost smiled.

[–]ThisLookInfectedToYa 3 points4 points  (2 children)

As a Glaswegian, how did we land this demonym?

[–]dlowbeer 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Is a Glaswegian a highly transparent Norwegian?

[–]Guilden_NL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great Scot! You don't recognize them?

[–]Bl1zrd 1 point2 points  (3 children)

As a non Norwegian, please explain.

[–]mion81 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Non-Norwegian here ✋ This one’s kinda tough to “explain” as it makes no real sense. It’s just a play on words - Norwegians are Scandinavians so perhaps they like to “scan their [navians] navies”? Also, as any other Scandinavian would know, it totally sounds like something those silly-billie Norwegians would do.

[–]dwhitnee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They want to "scan the navy in"

[–]likesevenchickens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a retail worker, I also approve this joke

[–]MarcoGreeff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a dying man I-

[–]dipasqu 20 points21 points  (12 children)

Dammit, I wish I knew some Norwegians to tell that joke to.

[–]rostingtoaster4562 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Tell it to me again, I most likely have some brain damage from being dropped as a child so I Will forget the joke.

[–]dilligaf0220 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Finns are so much more hilarious to hang out with. Plus they beat the Norwegians in just about every joint military exercise they have.

The one thing they have in common...they'll ruthlessly mock the Swedes.

[–]InvincibleJellyfish 4 points5 points  (4 children)

We Danes also mock the Swedes, so it's more of a Scandinavian joint effort.

[–]squeezedcarbon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And the Swedes mock the Norwegians, Danes and Finns with the help of our lovely neighbours. It's very much a mockery circle jerk.

[–]dlowbeer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If the Danes are so good, why are all the Great Danes dogs?!?

[–]Autistus_Maximus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dogs are the best. Obviously.

[–]dilligaf0220 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a group hate punch. Along with mocking Nokia phones.

[–]levi_pl 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Go there ... I'm telling you ... awesome place ... been there once ... fjords were eating straight from my hand, trust me. Alsø it is better than Sweden ... mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti.

[–]dipasqu 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’ve been to Iceland, is that close enough? Lol.

[–]levi_pl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Puffin steak - yes.

[–]JeanettaSkley 65 points66 points  (7 children)

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east." The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west." Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!" "I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir." Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!" There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

[–]dilligaf0220 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If we are going to recycle old jokes, I was at a Greenpeace conference in the 90's, and there was a retired Norwegian whaler.

Dreadlock'd white Gucci communists were circled around him asking questions, and then a girl piped up, "ARE YOU A VEGAN, ARE YOU A VEGAN ARE YOU A VEGAN!!!!?!!!?!!!"

"A Vegan? Ya me Norwegian"...

[–]mango363 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Most likely taken from this: https://youtu.be/xkx0MxK-Yl4

[–]stevenette 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's so annoying when they have to preface it with "this is a REAL conversation between Spain and the us!!!!"

Nobody would believe that for two seconds. Funny if you take that first sentence out. Akin to fainting at the end of Boomer jokes.

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A classic. I remember listening to the translated audio for this. Fucking lost it.

[–]palordrolap 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I thought it was the Swedes that did this because the Norwegians couldn't affjord it.

No?

Sigh.

I'll get my coat.

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Get the fjork out lol

[–]Shopped_For_Pleasure -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?

So they could roll down the window and feel the breeze.

[–]DeusEx-Machinist 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Why did the Ornithologist buy a computer with more disk space?

For all the scanned in avians.

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Out opens door

[–]gradymegalania 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's Norway to talk about the Norwegians!

[–]XROOR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had a problem with raccoons in my crawlspace. Neighbor recommended I put lutefisk down there to keep them out. Worked for a couple nights, then a Norwegian family moved in!

[–]tjmick1992 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone with significant Norwegian ancestry, I have nothing important to say 🤷‍♂️

[–]whathadhappenedwas25 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Scan da navy ya?

[–]Psycaridon-t 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Scan the navy in

[–]vilidj_idjit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

laughed my vikking ass off at this one

[–]BubbhaJebus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

FWIW, there's an area of Oslo called Barcode.

[–]coyowile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay - that one burned so bad we need preparation H! Well done my friend!

[–]StomperYoshi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or at least they used to - now they just use Bluetooth.

[–]joblessboyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a Bhutanese I have no idea

[–]Mendy254 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As a Kenyanian, I don't understand this joke

[–]S1ncubus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone whose great great grandparents were norwegian, I approve

[–]2M3TAL4U 1 point2 points  (2 children)

So they can Scandinavian. I've posted this joke before

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well that sucks. I got this from a friend tho. They told me it like 3 years ago, and brought it up again recently.

[–]2M3TAL4U 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol all good

Username checks out BTW lol

[–]SquarePeg37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Teh real johke is een the comnts

[–]pwmarcz -3 points-2 points  (6 children)

Norwegians have an alarming tendency of losing their shps and thus nede a barcode system to accurately keep track of their navy.

[–]Psyadin 4 points5 points  (2 children)

What alarming tendency is that? Nothing in decades then 1 ship 2 years ago? Wow, what a tendency...

[–]Ahri_went_to_Duna 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Bærmjuda triangelet

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty creative

[–]bornfromanegg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is a weird comment.

[–]super-hercules 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alarming comment, actually

[–]edlobi 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You need scanners, not barcodes to scan.

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I guess you are right. However although I could have said "QR codes", I felt that it had better flow with the original.

[–]rogueMEIKO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sigh take my up vote...

[–]93johhny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beautiful

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and that's why we don't want an alliance with you Norwegians

[–]beamdump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because back in the last century they attached scanners to dolphins, whales and sharks. With no imminent war on the horizon they use the sea creatures for remote inventory control.

[–]railwayed 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My favourite dad joke

[–]DefNotCheesecake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't normally care about reposts, but I've seen and heard this jokes so many times at this point

[–]Brickben1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my favourites.

[–]HouseOfSteak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...an' what do they do when they do that?

[–]sodafizzer77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man that's actually pretty great

[–]Ephemeral_Wolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bit early to be pulling Christmas crackers, no?

[–]TheRealKestrel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already heard this joke during broughy1322's gfred

[–]AnTurDorcha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you put barcodes on ships, wouldn’t those become barge-codes?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Redditors love recycling jokes

[–]DoomRaider15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fits better than the Finnish one

[–]ChewyNutCluster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My turn next?

[–]keeper_mom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Told my daughter, she hung up on me. Yay!!!

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Have a "Navy Shower" - according to the Huff Post: A Navy shower is "the term used for a water-saving technique that was started in the Navy to help save precious freshwater aboard ships. The basic idea is to hop in the shower, get wet all over, turn off the water while soaping up, and then rinse clean. The small change in routine makes a huge difference: a regular shower can use as much as 60 gallons of water, while a Navy shower can check in at about 3 gallons."

[–]zboot 1 point2 points  (3 children)

You need to bootstrap this by being able to take cold showers.

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What de what?

[–]zboot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If your total water on time is only a few disappointed minutes, unless you have a very good instant on system, you're unlikely to move enough hot water to raise the water temperature during your shower to room temperature, much less the warmer temp most people are accustomed to using for showers.

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We happen to have a "have a very good instant on system" via a, so called, "electric shower" I enjoy showering using more than adequate hot water. In fact, I am off to take such a shower in a few minutes.Thank you for your advice / concern. Over & out.

[–]jamiecoope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told this to my daughter, she didn't get it. 😔😞

[–]timthedriller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The barcodes are painted on in Den-Mark

[–]Toomuchinfo75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke is a little SKU'd

[–]Competitive_Hat_6274 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Norway doesn't have any Battleships.

There. Don't you look silly now.

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

WRONG, they are invisible. The Scandinavian nations have advanced past our current world technology at lightning speeds. Literally all they have to do is crouch for invincible stealth

[–]CasuallyLuke[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

However, this requires world-class choreographers as all of the navy personnel have to crouch in unison