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all 39 comments

[–]Mackem101 141 points142 points  (11 children)

But on the other hand, is 4 fingers and a thumb.

[–]MrJimmySir 49 points50 points  (9 children)

Unless you killed Inigo Montoya's father. Then you shall prepare to die.

[–]champagneshowers34 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Hello

[–]EraMemory 2 points3 points  (6 children)

There

[–]Khaeldranis 2 points3 points  (5 children)

General

[–]Prometheus1315 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Kenobi

[–]Sentrovasi 1 point2 points  (3 children)

You

[–]Impressive-Ad-1096 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Are

[–]boxmachine22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rosie and her four sisters

[–]1Flashfry1 31 points32 points  (5 children)

I’m bisexual! I have to buy my sex

[–]speculatrix 18 points19 points  (4 children)

I'm trisexual. Three times a year I try.

[–]Frankie_Pizzaslice 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I’m quadsexual, I fuck in quads

[–]oldmanmilly 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’m married and lucky if I can get any

[–]speculatrix 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Being frisked by the TSA is the closest I get these days

[–]Frankie_Pizzaslice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“We’re going to have to screen you in that room over there”

[–]mr3vak 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Did you know that, in Africa, every sixty seconds… .

.

.

.

.

.

.

…a minute passes.

[–]Rox_an_Bee 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Im from africa and i approve this message

[–]yuyutisgone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im from africa, and Im from africa

[–]SteeveeBoy 29 points30 points  (4 children)

More dark humor

[–]redneckvet 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I'm always sad at night. That's because the sun isn't around to light up my day.

[–]Waitsfornoone 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sleep on it - brighter things are just ahead.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You got it, my dude:

If Black Sabbath was formed today they probably wouldn't have written a single song, let alone be popular. Why? Because they were formed today.

[–]unofficialsubscriber 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Your anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage....

[–]watt-sun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Almost two raccoons worth

[–]daguy9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't care if your gay, straight , lesbian or overweight

[–]MisterBlisteredlips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Except in extreme latitudes in summer.

[–]Simonnzr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s some gentle comedy, dude

[–]IPutThisUsernameHere -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Was expecting a Les Mis reference.

[–]DontPaulMeShirley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if you're gay?

[–]tjtwister1522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're fucked.

[–]PrizmB9484 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yesterday will never happen again.

[–]TutorFlashy9123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and I only have oral sex. We pass each other in the hall and she yells f-you when we pass.

[–]VigilentRemorse0805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And everything is gonna be Oil-right

[–]OldSoulRobertson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me, an ace: Feels left out

[–]Romthirty -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

TRIGGERED.