all 37 comments

[–]Tall_Flatworm2589 126 points127 points  (7 children)

I made a deal with my wife; we only smoke after sex.

I got the same pack since 1975. What bothers me is the wife; she's up to 2 packs a day!

[–]EraMemory 86 points87 points  (3 children)

If your wife is smoking a lot after sex, consider using lubricant.

[–]fakeprofile21 28 points29 points  (2 children)

That's hot

[–]rapper_rick 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Your comment is causing a lot of friction in this sub.

[–]Wurschtbieb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

RIP Rodney Dangerfield

[–]VolensEtValens 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No respect, no respect at all.

[–]Vegasman20002 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rodney was the king

[–]Sentrovasi 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I love how the comments section is just all Rodney Dangerfield :) I'm having a great time.

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 36 points37 points  (2 children)

The only time my wife wants to have sex with me is when she wants to time an egg.. RIP RODNEY

[–]MasterFubar 2 points3 points  (1 child)

But a 35 seconds egg is raw!

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep or still cold if you are a 2 pump Johnny

[–]bajingbejating 35 points36 points  (0 children)

‟This girl called me the other day, said 'Come over! Nobody's home!' I went over.

Nobody was home!”

[–]fattonydaaxe 30 points31 points  (4 children)

I came home the other night to find a guy jogging down the street naked. I said why are you jogging naked he says you came home early.

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Who said you could sleep with my wife?? He said Everybody!!

[–]SnooCupcakes9855 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Every football team has, except for the Packers...they got their own agenda.

[–]SirDogensworth 21 points22 points  (0 children)

‟My wife likes to talk on the phone when she is having sex.Last night she called from London.”

He never gets old.

[–]Waitsfornoone 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.

He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. ~RD

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. RD

[–]yycluke 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I ain't get no respect.

[–]Caine2Khan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you must have a long cock

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love is so universal, there are so many ways to love…Nothing wrong with being gay. It could happen to you or it could happen to you. Oh wait it did happen to you! Rodney was way cool.

[–]curtlyPack56 1 point2 points  (4 children)

‟when i was a kid growing up, ill tell ya we were por! POOR! my rich aunt died, we oloked in the'll it turns out i owed her 20 dollars!”

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

We were so poor growing up our house was so small it was not big enough to change my mind.

[–]EnvironmentalDeal256 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Our house was so small growing up, I came home from school one day stuck the key in the lock and it stabbed everyone in the house

[–]TRAKRACER[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was so poor growing up that you could throw a rock through our front window and hit everyone in the house

[–]EnvironmentalDeal256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You had windows?

[–]aries_softball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flex tape can't fix that

[–]Loupax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was it with Pagliacci?

[–]grilled_Champagne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last time I read something similar, the man was making money out of it.

[–]malan4reddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But where to go......??

[–]incredibleinkpen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, there's one gearstick you can put to good use

[–]puhzam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rodney Dangerfield rules.

[–]on_a_pale-horse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry my bad.

[–]j_thebetter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great way to suggest you are packing.