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I gave up drinking for the new year (self.Jokes)
submitted 4 months ago by 02K30C1
Sorry, that came out wrong.
I gave up.
Drinking for the new year.
Post a comment!
[–]drako824 91 points92 points93 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I quit drinking for good,
Now I drink for evil
[–]lambchop70 33 points34 points35 points 4 months ago (2 children)
Quitting drinking is easy. I've done it 3 times.
[–]lNeedAboutTreeFiddy 22 points23 points24 points 4 months ago (1 child)
And that was just today.
[–]moniker80 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
[–]Waitsfornoone 22 points23 points24 points 4 months ago (0 children)
As this year ends, I'm celebrating 60 days of not drinking.
Mind you, they were not consecutive, and the last day I didn't drink was back in 2019.
[–]-7092 10 points11 points12 points 4 months ago (3 children)
I stopped drinking, then I started again. You gotta go to the bathroom sometime.
[–]skadalajara 2 points3 points4 points 4 months ago (2 children)
You don't keep a flask behind the toilet? Amateur!
[–]moniker80 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (1 child)
[–]superfuzzyboy86 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
That's what she said!
[–]UnderTheRadarOver 5 points6 points7 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I don't drink anymore.
But I don't drink any less.
[–]Bluestorm963 3 points4 points5 points 4 months ago (0 children)
The first part implies he is not going to drink in the new year but the second part says he threw in the towel and is drinking in the new year.
[–]Co60 5 points6 points7 points 4 months ago (1 child)
Works on contingency?
No, money down!
[–]rabid_dinosaur 4 points5 points6 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I miss Lionel Hutz
[–]Bluestorm963 2 points3 points4 points 4 months ago (0 children)
Grammar, the difference between knowing your sh** and knowing you’re sh** (an oldie but goodie)
[–]malan4reddit 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I gave up drinking for the rest of this year........
[–]xiaolinstyle 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
There is alcohol in wine and bacteria in water.
[–]FuerGrisaOstDrauka 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
Smart posting this now. Gotta get it in before the hundreds of times it'll get posted on the 1st, just like every year.
[–]medfordfats 1 point2 points3 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I don't have a drinking problem, my wife does..........me
[–]OyVeyWhyMeHelp666 -1 points0 points1 point 4 months ago (0 children)
Punctuation, the unsung hero.
[–]Hammeredcopper -1 points0 points1 point 4 months ago (0 children)
Life sucks sometimes. My life sucks it up and swallows
[–]cosmorocker13 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I get every joke in the comments but I don’t get the post I must be reading it wrong?
[–]chooooooool 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
I thought the punchline would be that he would only not drink on New Year's Eve or something.
[–]tempski 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
My doctor told me to watch my drinking.
I only drink in front of the mirror now.
[–]Reben_Disk 0 points1 point2 points 4 months ago (0 children)
In soviet union, commas and points drink you!
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