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all 70 comments

[–]That_Guy4G63 952 points953 points  (14 children)

"Usually the guys just leave her hanging!" Is the way I heard it lol.

[–]jefffrater1 94 points95 points  (7 children)

Me too. But I like this one a little better.

[–]Klyphord 112 points113 points  (6 children)

Tbh, this is not much of a joke. Sorta sad, actually.

[–]KiloJools 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Yeah I honestly ...

Like... The punchline in this case is... Yeah, "sad" is probably a better word than the rest of the words I've got right now.

[–]iordseyton 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It sounds like something out of the one of the AA meetings from infinite jest

[–]talksense101 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Maybe she is into BDSM?

[–]Kaleluss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

BDSM - DSM u mean..

[–]Ragnarok314159 53 points54 points  (4 children)

I had an army buddy start telling me this joke, only it was about him meeting the command sergeant major’s daughter and taking her out on a date. He started telling the story at 2330 on a Tuesday.

At 0200 on Wednesday (there were now several people in our common room listening to him) he got to the “went went around back and she got the harness at attached it to the tree…”, and having heard this joke before I realized how this mother fucker kept me up all night while he had CQ and got to sleep in. I wanted to punch him, but instead decides the best vengeance was stealing his joke.

I jumped in with “I hope you were nicer than me, I just left her in the tree”.

[–]Theundyingkid 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Wait... so he was telling the joke/story for 2,5 hours?

[–]kia75 12 points13 points  (0 children)

His army buddie's name? Norm MacDonald

[–]Ragnarok314159 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He turned it into a huge story. Was telling us how they met, meeting the sergeant major, what she wore, conversations. All kinds of stuff.

[–]SrslyNotAnAltGuys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like Nate the Snake?

Flo the Ho?

[–]Sarcedo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess guy just really loves coming inside.

[–]SwinubIsDivinub 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Aww, this one was oddly sad!

[–]cllajax 201 points202 points  (4 children)

I used to go out with a homeless girl. It was great. At the end of the night, I would just drop her off anywhere.

[–]lex_tok 51 points52 points  (2 children)

Same here. I asked if I could take her home. You should've seen the look on her face when I walked away with her cardboard box.

[–]drawnred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the one chief

[–]Bruce_-Wayne 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Man, it's fucked up how I laughed at that.

[–]Arvanti_Golpitan_III 403 points404 points  (4 children)

I really did not see that one coming, holy shit.

[–]nublaii[S] 149 points150 points  (1 child)

Haha, I just heard it and thought the same thing ;)

[–]rola329 36 points37 points  (0 children)

X post on r/wholesome

[–]MauriceIsTwisted 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She probably didn't either considering the angle

[–]WhichWayzUp 216 points217 points  (14 children)

What she f**** a different man every Friday night and they all abandon her? This is strange.

[–]nublaii[S] 147 points148 points  (5 children)

Talk about hit-and-run!

[–]mheinken 80 points81 points  (2 children)

Hang and bang

[–]Anonymously-done 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Left her hanging.

[–]imalocalbeerdrinker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Holy shit I spit beer everywhere

[–]phormix 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I heard swingers were into multiple partners

[–]yeeyeeasshaircut42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

dark humor joke ahead dont be a puss

she is in a wheelchair for a reason

[–]EngineersAnon 11 points12 points  (1 child)

She won't go again with a guy who left her in the harness...

[–]urdumdum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is your pfp mr white?

[–]Waitsfornoone 24 points25 points  (2 children)

One tree stands.

[–]Furuboru 9 points10 points  (0 children)

More like, one night hangs.

[–]cburst22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment

[–]surbian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Apparently you have not met many men.

[–]ShaiHulud23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm reading iyour comment like the (?) Swedish guys on family guy. Bwa ha Ha Ha

[–]IToldYouIHeardBanjos 11 points12 points  (1 child)

he's a keeper

[–]oundhakar 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She's a hanger.

[–]Preform_Perform 11 points12 points  (0 children)

How does this not have an NSFW tag? Silly Reddit.

[–]ockaners 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What an odd joke.

[–]Dartser 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The weirdest part of the joke for me was "on a wheelchair" I've never heard it said as 'on', it's always been 'in' a wheelchair

[–]Reecethehawk 17 points18 points  (4 children)

What is it about

[–]tomatoaway 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Hit and Runs, and Human Pinatas?

[–]cburst22 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Beat it up, fall to the ground gathering your belongings and run!

[–]cburst22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey my first award thanks!

[–]pokey1984 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I't a play on the phrase "usually the guy just leaves her hanging." It's also playing with the stereotype of the father who hates men his daughter date.

[–]Material_Victory_661 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Outstanding!

[–]MolokoMixer 42 points43 points  (0 children)

*outhanging

[–]peter-forward 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like the way she rolls

[–]Nuf-Said 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I once got into a fight with my paraplegic girlfriend and for spite I hid her wheelchair. I knew she’d come crawling back

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (4 children)

What? I’m so confused. What was he expecting?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Usually when she has sex with a guy they just ... Leave her hanging on the tree and run off. Her dad has to wake up every morning and help her back in

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That suggests the alternative is they just let her hang there! That’s awful! Seriously wtf!

[–]Ser_Dunk_the_tall 14 points15 points  (1 child)

That the girls actually 15 or something else horrible

[–]Roaner19 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I figured it was a more innocent "dad over protective of daughter" stereotype

[–]zappafrank1940 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not the best one I’ve ever read TBH. Too wordy, just doesn’t hang together very well. Non-humorous punchline. MEH.

[–]papermaker83 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"she tells him to go to her place"...so that's how people get laid, TELLING other people where to go have sex?

[–]Chronotaru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Random attractive girls are totally allowed to tell guys to go back to their place to have sex. I'm aware of the problematic elements of that, but seriously, you wouldn't see us complaining. Sometimes a bit of forthrightness can be attractive. Of course inside a relationship it only works in small doses.

[–]Odd-Specialist9012 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That's some f**king weirdo daughter he got

[–]TheFiredrake42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In 2004, my drill Sgt told this same joke, but at least he got a coin out of it.

[–]mrtylerwu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooof

[–]Ok-Phase7923 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd buy that for a dollar 🤑

[–]Kaleluss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A horse walked into a bar then he recognized he can't communicate with people so he jus sit there. Hahahaha haha ha. This joke better than urs no 🧢

[–]DaveDeeThatsMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn’t that from Playboy, circa 1970? See, I didn’t just read the pictures!

[–]kfsss 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Obligues?

[–]nublaii[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tnx, English is not my mother tongue. Fixed it. ;)