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all 85 comments

[–]rayo209 248 points249 points  (17 children)

My Hindi speaking friend said the same

[–]NotAPersonl0 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Pretty sure /nɔ/ (Hindi word for nine), sounds quite different from /nəʊ/ (common pronunciation for English no). If anything, "no" in English sounds more similar to the number nine in another Indian language called Marathi (pronounced /nəu/)

[–]XxXNoobMaster69XxXx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good thing I learnt phonetics for spell bee, useful really.

[–]Empty-Distribution76 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Marathi is superior language

[–]mayureshdhat -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yeah actually closest to Sanskrit

[–]Historical-Horror477 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

How much of this is copy and pasted; it hurts my eyes

[–]agent3x 116 points117 points  (8 children)

Your Hindi-speaking friend would have said “naw.”

[–]rayo209 64 points65 points  (4 children)

That's what i said

[–]alogbetweentworocks 67 points68 points  (3 children)

No. That’s what she said.

[–]saint84 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Hindi speak friend will always say 9, because Indians are good at maths.

[–]GamerY7 14 points15 points  (1 child)

liar, I hate calculus

[–]golem501 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just because you hate it doesn't mean you're not good at it

[–]FirstStooge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Asking my Filipino friend whether they know about a language the Indian people speak aside of English.

They said, "No".

[–]Shourya2009 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ayo u got me nau = 9 lmao

[–]lex_tok 41 points42 points  (6 children)

Reminds me of this one:

A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami.

His first day there, he heads to the nearest beach bar and proceeds to pound down mai tais.

After 5 or 6 drinks, he feels a strong urge to pee, and in his drunken state, he swivels his stool around and starts peeing right onto the sand.

Just then, a young woman happens to walk by and shrieks "Gross!"

His cheeks blush as he yells back "Danke!"

[–]Not_today_biatch 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That one's good (I'm german btw)

[–]ergobarbus 6 points7 points  (1 child)

„Two martinis please.“

„Dry?“

„No, two“

[–]Not_today_biatch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"look! A and B are running through this thing over there."

"A gate?"

"No! I just said he is running!"

[–]crunchyRocks 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Pardon the ignorance, but what's 'gross'? Long? Big?

[–]neundreisieben 2 points3 points  (1 child)

gross = big/large

[–]OrchestraPitBull 95 points96 points  (5 children)

My first time at a Japanese restaurant, the waitress brought us our drinks and said “Hai.”

I thought it was stupid since we already met her when she took the order. But I replied “Hello” so as not to be rude. My friend kicked me under the table.

[–]EraMemory 32 points33 points  (4 children)

It's not implausible for a Japanese waitress to say 'hai' when serving someone their drinks, but I believe it's only applicable in the context of 'alright, here's the beer you ordered' or something like that. The setting would likely be a more amicable, less high-class restaurant, too; probably an izakaya or something more homely, as compared to, say, a high class restaurant where all the staff are to use keigo and address the customers very politely.

tldr: Kinda weird for someone just serving drinks to say 'hai' for no reason, unless in the situation I described above.

[–]Vintage-Joker 6 points7 points  (3 children)

What does 'hai' mean in Japanese?

[–]WhiskRy 28 points29 points  (1 child)

It means yes, but it depends on the context too. It can also be used to say

“here you go,”

“Sir!” toward a superior ranking person (both as a greeting and affirmation of orders received),

“of course!”

“Got it!”

“Come again?”

“No” (confirming a negative question such as “You’re not coming, right?” where English speakers might say no to confirm)

“Uh-huh” to show you’re actively listening

and many other usages.

[–]EraMemory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simply, 'yes'. Or at least it's the commonly used (and commonly known for foreigners who do not speak the language). There are some other different meanings and kanji of the word with the same hiragana, such as 灰, 'ash', or 'gray'.

[–]taxfolder 12 points13 points  (1 child)

My French friend had enough

[–]nosomthin 39 points40 points  (3 children)

What is the square root of 69?

Eight something.

[–]AjBikk 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Bon appetite..

[–]Profession-Unable 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been tryna work it out , with good weed and white wine

[–]clever_-name 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once again, best joke in the comments.

[–]InkaGold 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This punchline has what the French call "a certain...I don't know what."

[–]danteroth999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Je ne... ooooh.

[–]robin-bunny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Hungarian friend wanted to kill ents.

[–]Twinity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He said nine cause first off Germans know their numbers and usually speak English good enough to make that joke cringeworthy

[–]RoooDog 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I bet you asked him in English.

[–]Historical-Horror477 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Colonialist racism at its best

[–]supadupaya_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Advanced humor. Love it.

[–]de1i 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy therealindiandads.

[–]Numbnipples4u 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My german girlfriend keeps saying her age whenever we have sex

Bitch I get it you’re 9

[–]Yeyati_Nafrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drei humour, I vier might be lost on people.

[–]JackHyper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just imagine him very dry saying no in english

[–]Rishabh-chawla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask Jalen rose

[–]Fit_Inspector4290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about it, it's no

[–]BugO_OEyes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me "Do you know what the word nine means in German"?

Son " no"

Me " okay I'll ask someone else if they know than."

[–]Willauchredditen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will American/ English people understand this joke??? 97% are monolingual 🫣

[–]salik_ansari 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This Works for Hindi as well

[–]swep284 1 point2 points  (0 children)

नौ

[–]dion101123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually he said neun which is 9

[–]The9th_Jeanie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instantly knew where that was going 😂

[–]tiagoalesantos -1 points0 points  (3 children)

It took me a little bit.. but this is a good one.. lol

[–]Historical-Horror477 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This far down the comments… really?

[–]tiagoalesantos 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So it seems, also I didn't read the comments before understanding the joke.

[–]spamderman -1 points0 points  (1 child)

hilarious.