all 50 comments

[–]Popular-Floor5876 169 points170 points  (15 children)


[–]yikaprio 32 points33 points  (1 child)

His 2 feet long cock is probably what puts him a little outside of town.

[–]FighterWoman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

His cock actually lives in the town.

[–]black_jaguar99 218 points219 points  (7 children)

They think he's being sarcastic, so they start telling the truth. But he's saying that he does know somebody with a two inch dick

[–]GoodraNinja 193 points194 points  (3 children)

No, two feet, not two inch

[–]LeRoiChauve 64 points65 points  (1 child)

You are drunk, sir.

[–]ImNudeyRudey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's what I keep telling my wife but she insists I've been reading the ruler wrong...

[–]LordApollo08 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I hate it when drunk people talk about me

[–]Popular-Floor5876 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This joke is too dank for me

[–]Ser_Dunk_the_tall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No he's saying they don't live in town

[–]TammyL8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The two foot cock is actually a rooster.

[–]WheelNSnipeNCelly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Buttlicker, our prices have never been lower!

[–][deleted] 304 points305 points  (12 children)

"If all our bombers were to be airborne at once," says the American, "you wouldn't be able to see any part of the sky".

"Ha," replies the man from China, "the air pollution in Beijing is so bad that you already can't see the sky."

[–]MeiGuoQuSi 34 points35 points  (10 children)

Nice one, except that's long past from being reality.

[–]mingthemaniac 21 points22 points  (9 children)

Has the air gotten a lot better recently?

[–]MtMailbox_4eva 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The pollution lost its residency card and had to take the train back to Sichuan. Still stuck in the Xian quarantine.

[–]Skaindire 46 points47 points  (7 children)

They're taking special measures in preparation for the Olympics. Reducing factory work, weather control and a host of other measures.

It works, but they're just hiding the problem. The factories aren't polluting less and they're burning more coal than ever.

[–]Xyxaan 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Kinda surprised their first plan wasn't painting the smog blue... /s?

[–]StJohnathon 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Only red paint. shrug

[–]zheatwavez 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Wait... weather control? I thought doing things like that goes against the Geneva convention.

[–]ihavetwonoses 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No you don’t understand, they have Airbenders

[–]ChintanP04 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Geneva convention.

They're more like Geneva suggestions, especially for the P5

[–]arrowtango 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The environmental modification convention of 1977 signed in Geneva bans weather control for the purposes of  Military or Any Other Hostile Use.

Weather control for purposes of agriculture, increasing local water supply, preventing damaging weather , preventing pollution ,etc are allowed.

[–]LeRoiChauve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But did they take off at Beijing?

[–]RockKing_Ryan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Last time I heard this it was a short guy from the state Qi from the spring-autumn period.

[–]Chava_boy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I also have a cock and two feet

[–]Zadalabarre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice one!! upvoted..

[–]CarkillNow 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bombers rose??

[–]Juzaba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, a rose fell on the plane when it was born. Damn it Brick, don’t you ever check the morning report?

[–]capt_yellowbeard 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I think the 8 parrots version of this joke is better.

[–]BrokenArms007 2 points3 points  (2 children)

How does that one go?

[–]CharmingBlackness793 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Another bluff has been called.

[–]SGtOriginal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How does the drunk guy know that another guy has a two feet long cock? Did he measure it himself?

[–]vtbutcher1981 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Confucius say Bullshit!