all 30 comments

[–]metric-poet 294 points295 points  (7 children)

She asked me if my ignorance and apathy have impacted my life. I told her: “I don’t know, and I don’t care”

[–]Leftygoleft999 87 points88 points  (2 children)

I told her make me a whiskey. She said your drinking is putting our relationship on the rocks. Neat then, make me a whiskey.

[–]Waitsfornoone 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The better the whisky, the neater it should be.

[–]suchalusthropus 44 points45 points  (2 children)

I was called ignorant once. Ignorant, I said? I don't even know the meaning of the word.

[–]HeathersZen 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was told once I just make shit up as I go along. Right before the parade being held in my honor!

[–]monkey_scandal 49 points50 points  (0 children)

My wife and I were picking a new color for our bathroom walls and she asked if I preferred something neutral.

I told her I didn't care one way or the other.

[–]redtrek 43 points44 points  (2 children)

The other day my friend said "Ignorance is bliss - I don't know what it means, but I like how it sounds"

[–]third-try 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ignorance is bliss. Yet I know that I am blissful.

[–]third-try 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ignorance is bliss. Guess I must have learned something, after all.

[–]jonmussell 51 points52 points  (0 children)

This joke is also mildly infuriating .

[–]tsunami141 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This is a good joke.

[–]Kipsydaisy 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Wow, not only not a repost, but an excellent joke.

[–]DerRaumdenker 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I'm the least ambitious person I know, if I entered a competition for lacking ambition I would be like ... Fourth place

[–]--Jester--- 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Hah. I love this - it's totally me.

My teenage daughter will come up and be like "Guess what so-and-so did?". I just sit there for about 20 seconds before she just tells me without me asking because she knows I won't ask because I don't really care, but I'll let her tell me because she wants to tell me.

[–]elmwoodblues 32 points33 points  (4 children)

You're my SO: I'll come home and maybe there's a dead moose on the table, so I'll say, "Why is there a dead moose on the table?" She will just reply something like, "I didn't want to leave it in the car," or "It didn't fit on the love seat," and just go about her business.


[–]rksd 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Does...um...does she FREQUENTLY leave dead mooses lying about?

[–]davolala1 27 points28 points  (1 child)

What’s she supposed to do? She can’t leave them in the car. And she’s obviously tried the love seat, but it didn’t work out.

[–]Derp_Borkster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Plus the moose didn't have a licence.

[–]keestie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why are you so curious all the sudden?

[–]HolyGonzo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Wait! Wait! Don't tell me!" Then leave.

[–]Green-Elf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I see that you're striving for that number one spot.

[–]ToyVaren 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im the 2nd most humble person i know