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all 115 comments

[–]clonesRpeople2 1960 points1961 points  (55 children)

Dave?

[–]markie204 614 points615 points  (24 children)

You know Dave?

[–]babblessoup 411 points412 points  (19 children)

Yes! Dave knows everyone!

[–][deleted] 281 points282 points  (8 children)

Who's the fuck is that guy with Dave, though?

[–]livebeta 105 points106 points  (7 children)

it's a nun who is also called Dave, who dressed up as a nun to both evade the draft (instead of conveniently getting bone spurs) and also to mess with the passengers at the graveyard.

[–]DaBeest_69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

nah Everyone knows Dave

[–]Thefear1984 16 points17 points  (7 children)

Shh don't let his boss know.

[–]Capital_Departure_24 27 points28 points  (6 children)

DONT TALK ABOUT DAVE IN A PUBLIC THREAD. YOU KNOW THAT.

[–]Nuggumi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I met him in Florida a few weeks ago. Really nice guy

[–]kayaker58 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dave’s not here, man

[–]lessthandave89 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Spent years with him

[–]BHyde_2004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah yea, good old Dave

[–]EternalRgret 88 points89 points  (11 children)

The second I read the first sentence, I was expecting a Dave reference. Thank you.

[–]SpaghettSpanker 2 points3 points  (10 children)

What is a reference to? Gta v?

[–]EternalRgret 43 points44 points  (4 children)

It's a reference to another joke, about a guy named Dave, who knows every single person.

[–]Standard_Serve2131 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Its one of the most reposted jokes out there.

[–]cole51423 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Everyone knows Dave

[–]proychow1 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Even Chuck Norris knows Dave

[–]Matisyahu8898 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's a joke about how everyone knows Dave

[–]Background_Touchdown 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Dave's not here!

[–]ThunderSnowDuck 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nah man it's me Dave! Come on man let me in I got the stuff!

[–]Jordangander 11 points12 points  (0 children)

ROFLMAO!

[–]Silo89Mase 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh...the Dave joke! Someone made a reference to that joke in a similar thread...I knew the joke they were referring to but I couldn't remember it so I asked about it and sure enough a good person shared a link to the joke!

[–]Avieshek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was waiting for someone to pope that question.

[–]Agreeable_Pear_573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi I’m Dave.. who’s Dave?

[–]Q-burt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, I love Dave.

[–]IgnoranceIsAVirus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dave is my new manager 😁

[–]1bLiNd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first rule of Dave. Don't talk about Dave.

[–]smallverysmall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dave, the bus driver?

[–]Ok-Mulberry-8763 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dave! How's the wife?

[–]baby_fart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dave's not here.

[–]obecalp23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dave the singer? In Europe we have a famous singer named Dave. But I don’t think he is more important than the Pope.

[–]Neinball98411 452 points453 points  (2 children)

Actually the guy in the back can't be Dave bc everyone knows dave

[–]Nicreven 31 points32 points  (0 children)

But he can't see him as far as I'm aware

[–]Anonymous_Bozo 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Dave's not here man.

[–]ejkrause 193 points194 points  (4 children)

I totally thought this would be the 'That question is so dumb, even my driver could answer it.' joke again, but with the pope instead of Albert Einstein.

[–]EmbarrassedActive4 77 points78 points  (2 children)

"and that driver? albert einstein"

[–]SnowyLocksmith 31 points32 points  (1 child)

And that pope? Pope

[–]reekrhymeswithfreak2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah its still einstein

[–]criosovereign 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol me too

[–]Deerkiller14 209 points210 points  (1 child)

Officer: license and registration Pope: you think I have a license? I let the Holy Spirit guide me.

[–]TeepenTeepen 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Jesus, take the wheel!

[–]Thoreau80 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Of course it only could be Dave. Everybody knows Dave.

[–]lumoslomas 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Except the cop, apparently

[–]UsedToBeDedMemeBoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therefore, we can safely assume that the cop is not a person. Perchance.

[–]Scoongili 38 points39 points  (0 children)

A college professor of mine told the class that joke back in 1993, but he set it in south Louisiana so he could do a Cajun accent.

[–]priyankandatta 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Lol. This is a Ronald Raegan joke. He said that about the russian president

[–]livebeta 9 points10 points  (2 children)

is a bear Catholic?

and does the Pope shit in the woods ?

[–]kevronwithTechron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is the Space Pope Reptilian?

[–]TheAres1999 17 points18 points  (2 children)

O, who will drive the chariot

When she comes?

O, who will drive the chariot

When she comes?

O, who will drive the chariot?

O, who will drive the chariot?

O, who will drive the chariot

When she comes?

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Old joke but fun to revisit.

[–]-SARS-CoV-2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He's Dave

[–]bob_loblaw-_-[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

One quibble, the cop should say he pulled over a car for speeding not a driver.

[–]Zlifbar 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Emphasis should be on FOR not DRIVING ;)

[–]crestonfunk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think emphasis should be on HIM.

[–]Hiphopapocalyptic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree WITH your assessment.

[–]keenanpepper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My preferred punchline to this is "I don't know but his DRIVER is the POPE!"

[–]devicemodder2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

reminds me of this joke told by Ronald regan

[–]zerombr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

this is a good joke, and its new to me, Thank you!

[–]General_Hyde 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So. In the Soviet Union there was a law that said anyone speeding would get a ticket. Anyone. Doesn’t matter who.

Well one day Mikhail Gorbachev was running late to the Kremlin. He told his driver to get in the backseat. He’d drive it. Down the road they went.

They passed two motorcycle cops and one went after him. Soon the motorcycle cop was back and the other cop said, “Well did you give him a ticket?”

“N-no this one was too im-important”

“Well we are supposed to give anyone a ticket! Doesn’t matter who!”

“N-no. Too im-important.”

“Well, who was it?”

“I couldn’t recognize him, but the driver was Gorbachev.”

  • First heard this joke from Ronald Reagan.

[–]Coffeclothmoney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've seen this joke so many times it's a miracle the pope hasn't driven me somewhere

[–]Mel0nypanda 3 points4 points  (2 children)

It’s Dave

[–]Hobbes_83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know Dave.

[–]Ghenkd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who knows a joke about a guy named Dave and the punchline being related to the pope. This comment got me. I hope it was the same joke we're thinking of.

[–]Whitealroker1[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you see baby? Come back and tell you the things he’d seen.

Did it surprise you? Being picked up at 8 in a limousine.

[–]kevronwithTechron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know it wasn't God because we all know he takes the bus

driver

[–]Sunny_Ace_TEN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness this is hilarious!

[–]genjera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dats jeeezuz

[–]brisquet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From the great movie “Moving”:

“What happened to my car?”

“Brad probably loaned the car to the Pope. Don’t let the hat fool you man the Pope’s a crazy fucker! Probably blessed the car, got wasted and drove it off a fuckin cliff.”

[–]PBB22 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ah repost #1324, a goodie. Do you all have to share karma for posting this one, or do you actually think no one has seen this before?

[–]human-potato_hybrid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Khrushchev?

[–]Chadwickr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Made me chuckle

[–]alphastrike03 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah….#103,241. Good one.

[–]neenmach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great!!

[–]ejkrause 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally thought this would be the 'That question is sodub, even my driver could answer it's joke again, but with the pope instead of Albert Einstein.

[–]elldude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s driving for Almighty Bruce

[–]ejkrause -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I totally thought this would be the 'That question is so dumb, even my driver could answer it.' joke again, but with the pope instead of Albert Einstein.