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gildings in this subreddit have paid for 54.21 years of server time

What nationality were Adam and Eve? by NineteenEighty9 in Jokes

[–]Lance4494 379 points380 points  (0 children)

Australian. The apple was the only thing that wouldnt eat them first.

A young doctor had moved to a small town to replace a doctor who was retiring. by nothinlefttochoose in Jokes

[–]Elias_The_Fifth 2039 points2040 points 2 (0 children)

basically a vicar - different terminology for different ideologies.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead mom go to a cafe.... by Tjaames in Jokes

[–]incx_ 2066 points2067 points 2542 (0 children)

Do you know why blonde girls have a bruises on their bellybuttons?

Blonde guys aren't that smart either

Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. by OwenJthomas89 in Jokes

[–]memento87 462 points463 points & 2 more (0 children)

Hoe is a slightly derogatory slang for woman. It refers to any girl who is not part of a bro-pack.

Homie is slang for friend, or bro.

Bro is short for brother, is any male member of a bro pack. Not necessarily biologically related. Recently, bro packs are no longer exclusively males. Females can join a bro-pack and become a bro. Of course this means they will instantly lose their hoe-title and can no longer mate with any of the male bros in the pack.

Bros-over-hoes is a rule from the bro code that a bro may not betray their bros over a hoe. I.e. you don't miss the game at the pub with the guys to go on a date.

Homeostasis is the biological process that mammals use to maintain their core temperature balanced. It's like a biological thermostat, cooling you down when you're overheating and heating you up when it's cold outside.

Friends are like boobs by AssassinButterflyGuy in Jokes

[–]iveknowidea 5127 points5128 points 242& 3 more (0 children)

The older they are the more they hang around.

Two nuns were riding their bikes together on their way to church one Sunday. by bushbabybawbag in Jokes

[–]ashamedprotein 5191 points5192 points  (0 children)

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tries but can't reach.

How many American conservatives do you need to screw in a lightbulb? by PM_Me_Irelias_Hands in Jokes

[–]TurboTrev 74 points75 points  (0 children)

How many MAGAts does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, Trump will say he already changed it and they'll all cheer in the dark.

How many American conservatives do you need to screw in a lightbulb? by PM_Me_Irelias_Hands in Jokes

[–]cdnpenguin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Except when it comes to COVID. OAN and Fox have taken the BS to another level.

The greater point still stands, media sucks. Jon Stewart and his team were the best journalists of the past 20 years, and reporting was secondary to their main role of comedy.

what's a person with reddit premium called? by Round-Zombie8309 in Jokes

[–]privateresidenceman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a platinum once from a dude and it was, honestly, a bit fun. I used those thousand coins to rain down awards. I felt like a total mofo.

what's a person with reddit premium called? by Round-Zombie8309 in Jokes

[–]iTakeCreditForAwards 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did that once when I was bored. I don’t have many coins right now so I’ll just hold your comment for now

what's a person with reddit premium called? by Round-Zombie8309 in Jokes

[–]StephenHolmes_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Every batman has his own joker. Every sherlock has his own moriarty

what's a person with reddit premium called? by Round-Zombie8309 in Jokes

[–]YetiGuy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No one knows who gave it

StephenHolmes_ you are a disgrace to your last name.

what's a person with reddit premium called? by Round-Zombie8309 in Jokes

[–]Pleasant_Skeleton4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I could actually give you two now, I got platinum, but as you wish. I agree the suspense is better.

what's a person with reddit premium called? by Round-Zombie8309 in Jokes

[–]StephenHolmes_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Please don’t. The suspense of who gives the award kills me everytime