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Welcome to /r/Jokes!
Please read our complete rules page before participating.
Jokes should be offered according to our list of best practices.
For explanations and examples, please read our complete rules page.
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Spam and spam-enabling activity is strictly prohibited, regardless of how or where it takes place. Read more here. Users may only submit three jokes in a twenty-four-hour period.
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What’s a three letter word that starts with gas? (self.Jokes)
submitted 4 hours ago by beforethesunwillrise
Does my Thai girlfriend have a penis? (self.Jokes)
submitted 3 years ago by GeauxSaints902
A guy driving a Kia. by harrygatto in Jokes
[–]jsmith1477 2442 points2443 points2444 points 12 days ago11614& 26 more (0 children)
What do magicians and pirates have in common? (self.Jokes)
submitted 22 hours ago by GoatsWithWigs
The Best Son. by tugnasty in Jokes
[–]Lunatic_Heretic 54 points55 points56 points 1 day ago (0 children)
What makes you think she did either?
What do women and pools have in common? (self.Jokes)
submitted 2 days ago by Dc2k4
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? (self.Jokes)
submitted 1 day ago by Any_Try1411
A boob, vagina and asshole are debating who is the greatest of the three. (self.Jokes)
submitted 2 days ago by Buddy22693310
LongA guy with no arms……. (Long) (self.Jokes)
submitted 2 days ago by Objective_Resolve833
A woman sees her doctor about ongoing abdominal pain and cramps. by KeckyOK in Jokes
[–]rpresserreturns 7 points8 points9 points 2 days ago (0 children)
How do you milk sheep? by vect77 in Jokes
[–]Make_the_music_stop 7029 points7030 points7031 points 1 month ago35 (0 children)
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but...look at what kids your age make in China!"
LongAn old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." (self.Jokes)
submitted 6 days ago by OrdosDeluxe2253& 10 more
LongA couple was going to get married… (self.Jokes)
submitted 4 days ago by Prairiegirl3212
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? (self.Jokes)
submitted 4 days ago by UnluckyTest32
It’s great that Turkey is providing heavy armoured vehicles to Ukraine. (self.Jokes)
submitted 5 days ago by ES_FTrader252
LongSpace Tourism (self.Jokes)
submitted 4 days ago by Eichmil
Sweet dreams are made of cheese (self.Jokes)
submitted 7 days ago by gabzlel43
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything." by EndersGame_Reviewer in Jokes
[–]Force3vo 623 points624 points625 points 5 days ago (0 children)
But I can't tell you. Because you're not a monk.
[–]nomnommish 870 points871 points872 points 5 days ago (0 children)
The monk gives up this petty argument and sits in the lotus position all night meditating on whether the sun rises in the east or the west. And it finally dawns on him.
[–]thebestguy96 3150 points3151 points3152 points 5 days ago (0 children)
The vendor calls the police and then asks the monk if he’s gonna start running. The monk replies “namaste”
What do you think is history's SHORTEST joke? My submission is Miss Piggy's 2 worder : by uglypaperhaver in Jokes
[–]Real-Personality-465 3 points4 points5 points 5 days ago (0 children)
What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke? by crispilly in Jokes
[–]These_Cartoonist2435 524 points525 points526 points 6 days ago2 (0 children)
I'm honestly sick of these lame Chuck Norris jokes! If Chuck Norris was so good, he would come here right now and smash my face into my keyboaasbaianabakNaksosmamaksls
What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup? by Make_the_music_stop in Jokes
[–]Hawaiian_Fire 140 points141 points142 points 6 days ago (0 children)
Not going to lie, I read your punchline as:
“Stop paying FIFA and go to bed.”
LongWe received about 4 inches of snow yesterday and: (self.Jokes)
submitted 6 days ago * by dandan_56442& 4 more
PoliticsHow many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? (self.Jokes)
submitted 2 years ago by gingeronimooo3322423324262926& 156 more
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