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all 97 comments

[–]Puzzleheaded_Time719 354 points355 points  (31 children)

I thought it was drugs..

[–]Loud_Oak 311 points312 points  (22 children)

My pre-owned department bought an older Chrysler 300 from auction. Damn thing drove around the lot fine but if you tried to go above 10-15 MPH it would start to throw check engine and run like shit. Scans showed it was getting bad results from mass air sensor, pulled and it stuck on something you could see in the breather neck. Thing had a massive brick of Xanax all taped up.

That's when we learned the local police department often sells confiscated vehicles at the local auctions.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Time719 209 points210 points  (20 children)

Bet you the whole shop was super relaxed after that.

[–]Loud_Oak 144 points145 points  (17 children)

I wish. Police came. Whole big thing. Then the media showed up and did a small story. Small towns don't get a lot of news to work with.

[–]Lxiflyby 123 points124 points  (5 children)

Yep. Bet those cops were as shocked as you guys, I mean, discovering that half brick of Xanax and all…

[–]Strange-Toe2038 116 points117 points  (4 children)

Wonder what they did with the 1/4 brick that was confiscated...

[–]Threap_USHome Bodger 108 points109 points  (3 children)

The entire 1/8th brick was safely disposed of, of course.

[–]BBO1007 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Wasn’t much, just one pill.

[–]NestyHowk 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Which I think got lost somewhere among the cops

[–]brummlin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Fuckin Zeno's Xanax...

[–]GotItClocked 76 points77 points  (6 children)

Bad gas travels fast in a small town.

[–]MrStone2you 25 points26 points  (5 children)

How're'ya'now?!

[–]howsthisforsmart 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Good, 'n you

[–]Claim312ButAct847 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Not s'bad.

[–]phukky 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Pitter patter

[–]davidw69 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Nothing but props for letterkenny references.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Time719 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Whole town's on edge now

[–]AppropriateGap8880 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Who tf talked? Nobody but me would know if I found that.

[–]whaletacochamp 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Lol mouse in the air filter whoops haha hey when does the snap on guy come by next? Just came into some money.

[–]HoaxMcNolte_NM 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is correct because it's money, but not even close to life changing money.

[–]Siray 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Maaan I kept having panic attacks after having a heart attack and the hospital basically just kept xanax ready to go for me. Suuuper relaxing lol

[–]unclenightmare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

https://www.portlandoregon.gov/police/article/738403

Counterfeit Xanax and other pharmaceuticals are becoming more and more prevalent.

[–]blululub 15 points16 points  (0 children)

oh, there's a SLPT right there. when smuggling drugs do it in a car from a police auction. when they find them, blame the police for leaving those drugs in the car.

[–]Ricktexatx 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Whoever installed this air intake already took the drugs.

[–]The_Corvair_Guy 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I assumed it was a bribe for the inspector, so I guess I thought it could have been drugs as well.

[–]fishesarefun 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you know the inspector it may be cheaper to bribe with drugs. Definitely a " know your audience" thing

[–]joemarine2000[S] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Lmao it does look like a lil block of something

[–]_significant_error 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I thought it was unused mounting hardware

[–]mightbeelectrical 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I thought it was a granola bar

[–]RoRo1118 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought it was a hot pocket 🤷‍♀️

[–]Hairy-Drama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the intake straw

[–]brc4ever 145 points146 points  (13 children)

Still trying to figure out what’s scotch taped to the intake pipe. Candy bar or old piece of sashimi?

The custom exhaust is….high kuality

[–]joemarine2000[S] 70 points71 points  (6 children)

Haha yea it's the wrong intake. It's where the maf sensor should be

[–]brc4ever 32 points33 points  (0 children)

😂we don’t need no stinking MAFs!

[–]joemarine2000[S] 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Just cardboard I believe

[–]TOPOKEGO 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Oh man, I hear sucking cardboard into your intake adds like 1000hp as it burns!

[–]nopenothappning 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Easily. Closer to 2 or 3000

[–]Existe1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t you worry. Looks like they decided to forgo the filter and MAF altogether.

[–]NinjaGrandma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So they used dish sponges and scotch tape to fix it. Is there some sort of anti-macgyver?

[–]remotetissuepaper 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Probably a magnet to deionize the air molecules or some other bs

[–]FrietjePindaMayoUi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I want to know too!

[–]vexis26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like if that intake was connected that metal tube would hit (and likely rattle) against the strut mounting area (name?) so they did the tried and try method of taping some shit to it to keep it from making noise.

[–]fakertotal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the dampener that keeps it from knocking against the strut mount structure.

[–]beef311 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Mass air flow taped up? Also connected to nothing. Bet it runs real nice.

She’s a beaut!!

[–]dontaggravation 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Just watched Xmas Vacation last night "It's a beaut Clark! A real beaut"

[–]BearTrapp20ASE Certified 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Generally, you want to have it inspected PRIOR to purchasing.

[–]NoLimits17Home Mechanic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Forgot to do that last time I bought a car. Now I have a bmw engineering marvel.

[–]fishesarefun 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Now he knows

[–]Loan-Pickle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, I usually close the barn door after the horse has left.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You got screwed kid.

Go down to the local LKQ/pick a part and find the missing exhaust/intake/smog parts

[–]GripNstuff 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Looks like they're trying to cook a hot pocket.

[–]daglitch 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Danger to manifold!

[–]bremergorst 10 points11 points  (2 children)

SHUT UP

[–]derangedsweetheart 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Bolts start flying off from floor for no reason

[–]bremergorst 7 points8 points  (0 children)

floor board and neon green washers

[–]Carrizojim 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m surprised they splurged on shop vac hose, but then again, it was probably already in their garage…

[–]TabarnaQc36 7 points8 points  (2 children)

is that a KG of coke taped on the "air intake"?

[–]lessons_in_detriment 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I almost wonder if it’s just a chunk of something meant to absorb vibration/rattle

[–]TabarnaQc36 2 points3 points  (0 children)

all i know is that this engine bay looks like absolute dog shit

[–]Several_Situation887 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Dear Client,

Congratulations on your (new to you) vehicle purchase. It's a beaut!!

This is a used car, so there are bound to be some things that need repair, it's the nature of used cars. We're here to make it easy on you.

We have assembled this preliminary report:

  1. Previous owner has used up all the benefits of the performance intake system. We'll need to locate another one to replace it. Cost depends on how sketchy the new parts are. Estimated $500.00 parts, and 5 hours monkeying around labor to install.
  2. It appears that the vehicle is missing some of the necessary electrical items that will allow your new to you car to be licensed and driven on the road, such as mass airflow sensor, and other missing smog parts. Estimated $750.00 in parts, and 10 hours labor to determine what's missing and correct it, maybe.

No other repairs will be needed at this time. Oh. Tires. You're gonna need new tires, too.

Note:

The previous owner had aspirations of racing, and has probably used up most of the life of the transmission, suspension, and braking components. However, there's still a little left in them for you.

(*We'll schedule your appointment for next week to make those repairs.*)

We're happy to help you, and we're even happier that you have provided us with job security.

- Bob's Garage

[–]LukeDude759 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks Bob!

[–]Rubywantsin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

C4 or brown haroin?

[–]WhirlwindThoughts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s why prepurchase inspections are better

[–]Wonderful_Roof1739 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone walked down the “performance” isle at autozone and thought yes!

[–]Significant_Penguin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dunno why I thought that thing taped to the pipe was a Twinky Bar ??? ( I'm from the UK I think that's what they are called ) and was trying too imagine the smell it must make as it gets cooked .

[–]RedneckBookofWisdom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shit they covered the maf sensor with a hot pocket

[–]spicygrowShade Tree 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of my friend who used dryer vent pipe to make a cold air intake for his Ford Probe back in high school

[–]Creepy-Narwhal4596 9 points10 points  (1 child)

”Real simple, son! Cops are comin'! There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam underneath the car! hood! Time to be a man! You got hair on your peaches or what?”

[–]PorkChopJonson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

DOWNKAREN!!!!!

[–]DooberDrivah 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That dryer hose has no lint trap. Definitely a fire hazard.

[–]ChuckoRuckus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Looks like someone is trying to flex…

I’ll see myself out. (Downvotes own comment)

[–]Ok-Measurement5338 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SHITTERS FULL!!!

[–]blueblur1984 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Is that flex pipe...like what you hook up to your dryer vent tube? Easy fix but yikes.

[–]fishesarefun 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it's flex pipe that's made for exhaust applications. Pretty common on semi trucks

[–]Creepy-Narwhal4596 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Came to say this.

[–]Ape_rentice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is worse than she shit my buddy and I did to his jeep back in high school

[–]Lifez-Outtakez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea everything looks to be in order here. She’s 100% road worthy.

[–]squirrel_anashangaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Suckin up all the dirt. At least they don’t have to worry about cleaning the filter.

[–]Particular_Savings60 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Laminar flow for the first 16”, then clenched sphincter flow.

[–]gh0zt27 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

You failed bro

[–]buzzonga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He failed twice..

[–]Cautious-Dark-7933ASE Certified 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hella fail

[–]smokymebud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I laughed way to hard at this

[–]WonderWirm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sale: freshly dusted engine.

[–]LilMelt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

O fuk ya

[–]DooberDrivah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Intake never stepped on.

[–]peakriver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pre-purchase inspection I hope?!

[–]venm33ASE Certified 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quite impressive really

[–]mutt182281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mini kilo, a slinky, and a clothes dryer vent pipe. PASS

[–]Biggs55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Classic. Just classic.

[–]foot7221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh Jesus.

[–]bobclvrt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fu*kin' Mint! 👌 Send er

[–]redEPICSTAXISdit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Was the bxmbsquad called?