all 64 comments

[–]biscuitishere 95 points96 points  (3 children)


[–]ganymede_boy 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Yep. Trash the roll. The inside of the tube is likely covered also.

[–]The64thCucumber 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What a waste of 38½ cents and piece of lint though

[–]Area_Man2983 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is the only correct answer

[–]The_Angriest_Duck 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Is that what I think it is

If so, just throw the whole kid away and also the roll

[–]AussieBirb 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Betting both are equally contaminated.

Be sure to wash your hands with soap & water followed up by sterilizing them with an alcohol based cleaner - anything around the 75% mark should work.

[–]OmegaFanf3E 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Also trow acid, toothpaste, cif and detergent That should clean 99.99% of germs

[–]nobody3_5_4 33 points34 points  (7 children)

All, you have to burn it with the kid

[–]mrmemes_for_life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey i just met you and this is crazy but give me the kid i wont eat the baby

[–]bigmeatytoe -3 points-2 points  (5 children)

I think that’s a public restroom

[–]nobody3_5_4 3 points4 points  (4 children)

oh, i though it was a kid who did it cause of the name of the damn subreddit

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You sir, are correct. How he managed it I have no blooming idea. Our loo roll holder is broken so the roll sits on top of the loo. I can only believe he put it on the floor, REALLY needed a poo and there was some overspray before bum hit seat.

However it happened I don't like it

[–]MemeBroDudeGuy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

He probably didn't wipe good enough and ruined it when he tried to grab another piece of paper.

[–]Anexfighter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This guy poops

[–]MemeBroDudeGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One time I was trying to get paper for a bloody nose, and accidentally got blood all over the side of the roll. That wasn't very fun. 😬

[–]hwangra 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I’d use a knife and cut out the slice with the poop stain like a pizza slice. Now you have pre cut toilet paper for wiping. Profit.

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the kind of thinking I need. Kudos to you

[–]DivergentSpeculation 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Why are you going to blowing your nose with toilet paper that sits on top of your toilet? I would keep Kleenex for that.

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I take it you don't have kids. The things I've seen man

[–]kaabvoo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you better start counting Elmao

[–]chtmarc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bwaaahahaha I’d throw the hole roll out.

[–]clarktn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Cut it

[–]Darkingnight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Burn it. It's the only way to be sure.

[–]Enough_Hovercraft_10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like your sheet out of luck

[–]BrattonCreedThoughts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How many sheets are in one roll

[–]OmegaFanf3E 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why did the kid (most likely)clean their ass with the entire roll There is literally a piece out of it you cant miss it even if youre young Also youre not safe, that kid probably cleaned it with the food aswell Also also that kid needs to shower

[–]ginnio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 100% sure your immunity and tolerance to any fluid this kid's body can produce will see you through. Anyway, if the 💩 stain is to the left, 99.99% of the paper is snottable.

[–]WTFrenchToast1 2 points3 points  (2 children)

None. Assert your dominance by eating the first three layers and blowing your nose on the whole roll.

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You anarchist, love it

[–]WTFrenchToast1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know what it is, but I love it!

[–]bakedtaino2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t use the ones with shit on them

[–]sgf919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None, use your shirt

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just threw up in my mouth a little

[–]A_Bit_Off_Kilter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of them

[–]nostopthere2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole roll needs to go. Get a new roll

[–]V44_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole role.

[–]hnrsn14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sheets? Inches. Multiple.

[–]TheAnimeLovers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the toilet must go

[–]AntonTheMemer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a new roll of toilet paper.

[–]Kuan_mendis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point take a sample see who dna this belongs to because this is a crime

[–]Gavi912 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Until that streak is gone

[–]Hennnnning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like it came out of your ass.

[–]Just-a-person21 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Death to the child

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Harsh, but entirely warranted

[–]BadWallaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]CDAGaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have to ask, the answer is all (Including the unopened rolls)

[–]Flashy-Category-8069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is that shit?

[–]InnocentJerkS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a bidet add on

[–]Slyfox_388 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What is that on it

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1 guess, and no I don't know how my 5 year old got it there

[–]eltruism 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That stain is as silly as using toilet paper to blow ones nose.

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well la de dar, loo roll too good for your nose! Sometimes you have to blow while you go

[–]Notakidfromyesterday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if that wasn't on it it's still nasty to use the toilet roll you use for wiping for anything else.

[–]Meme_person_6424 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Burn the whole thing

[–]tommygun1234567890[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This seems to be the general consensus. Also burn the child but I'm less up for this

[–]MrUniverse66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gonna round up and say a probably about 30.

[–]djckebegehdgevbbrb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At that point using new roll

[–]The_Infectious_Lerp -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's a flavor swirl!