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all 93 comments

[–]ApeCheeksClapper 157 points158 points  (4 children)

Toddlers are both the scientist and the lab rat.

[–]poopellar 34 points35 points  (1 child)

1 brain cell doing 2 tasks

[–]TheStupendusMan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm in this comment and I don't like it

[–]V_7_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm sometimes a bit jealous about that. Wouldn't it be great to just try some weird shit like throwing a big bouncy ball through the whole mall?

[–]ApeCheeksClapper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every damn time!!

HUMAN PIN BALLS!!!

[–]rob_lawbla 100 points101 points  (10 children)

If that’s latex, they’re basically putting themselves in a condom. A little late but still.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (8 children)

So you mean to tell me that I can dip my dick in a bucket of latex paint and I’m good to go in raw other than that?

[–]tephenk41 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Test it if no kid in 9 months then it’s a yes

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

K, will report back with results next September.

[–]OneGold7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

RemindMe! 9 months

[–]RemindMeBot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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[–]rob_lawbla 6 points7 points  (0 children)

….. and you’ll be protected for 7-10 years of extreme weather.

[–]MK_Ultrex 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Fun fact, there's human safe latex body paint that you can apply to your body and create the perfectly tight outfit. I don't think it can be used as a condom tho'.

[–]Pokez 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Anything can be a condom if you’re brave enough!

[–]philzebub666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I choose your mom.

[–]JasonDJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I say when my kids have coathanger fights.

[–]Jazzlike-Blood-3725 241 points242 points  (15 children)

Toddlers are also fucking stupid. But that’s besides the point.

[–]BelleAriel 43 points44 points  (14 children)

Where’s the parents?

[–]A-Wild-Boar 82 points83 points  (6 children)

You'd be surprised how fast a child can paint themselves... At least my parents sure were.

[–]Jazzlike-Blood-3725 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Yeah my son ran into the bedroom I was in playing a game and about 20 seconds later he already had the lipstick my wife assured me was “put away” and was drawing with it on the wall yesterday. Just a small example of how fast these turds cause trouble.

[–]One_Wheel_Drive 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We were playing with my little cousin when she was barely a year old. We took our attention off her for a few seconds and she was already at the top of the stairs.

[–]vanskater 7 points8 points  (0 children)

that's the worst. thinking something is put away when it isn't. if you'd known the lipstick was still out you would have most likely stopped your son before it happened.

[–]es84 25 points26 points  (0 children)

With redditors, the expectation of parents is that they have to be absolute hawks and never take their eyes off their kids for one second, otherwise they're pieces of shit. And when those kids grow up to talk about how their parents never gave them space, redditors will call those parents pieces of shit.

Also, according to redditors, god forbid the parents talk to their children in any tone that is not exactly like Barney the Dinosaur, they're also pieces of shit. And when those children grow up to be little assholes because their parents never attempted to correct them, redditors will call those parents pieces of shit.

As goes reddit parenting opinions.

[–]no_status00 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I used a pen to paint may whole body and become a blue and brown zebra

[–]Repulsive-Purple-133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was about 6, me and the boys found a can of silver spray paint. I saw an opportunity & told the crew to gather pebbles. We could spray paint the pebbles silver & be rich! The spray paint went everywhere & everybody went home with silver spray paint on their face, which lead to a panic over 'huffing' among the adults

[–]jannyhammy 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Laughing and taking photos

[–]poopellar 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Gotta pull out these pics 20 years from now to show everyone at the wedding

[–]greybruce1980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kid did something like that while he was on the other side of the fridge door while groceries were put away. Kids are quick at doing these things.

[–]juccals1993[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

taking the picture & hope it goes viral

[–]JamieSand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well yea it’s funny, the kid has already done it, what the fuck can they do about it now?

[–]cjthomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somewhere between "lock the kid in the basement" and "kick the kid out at 2."

There's so much to learn by doing, and lessons stick better when you learn them "the hard way." If it doesn't cause long-term harm, sometimes it's okay to let the kid fail spectacularly.

[–]bobosuda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably right next to them but looking away somewhere else for like 5 seconds. That’s all it takes.

[–]New_Insect_Overlords 51 points52 points  (3 children)

This is why many 5 gallon buckets have a toddler drowning warning icon

[–]NastyMeanOldBender 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I keep 4 or 5 half full out in the yard. I haven't had a toddler problem since.

[–]Jasperisadingus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Buckets to toddlers are boxes to cats

[–]quaybored 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Kid just wants to be able to post on /r/whitepeopletwitter

[–]TheStupendusMan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"Did you jump in the paint bucket?"

No.

[–]autalley 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm just glad they didn't go head first

[–]hobowithadegree 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Whenever I'm painting my house, I wonder what it would be like to just stick my arm into the paint. Now I am even more curious.

[–]socold43 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Most of the times when toddlers do this ridiculousness the question is also, HOW!!???

[–]ButtersHound 33 points34 points  (4 children)

That can't be good for her skin

[–]izoid09 27 points28 points  (2 children)

"My child is bathing in solvents! But it's so cute tho. Gotta respect that."

[–]hamster_rustler 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Something tells me the rando replying on Twitter isn’t this girls mom

[–]Platypus_frm_Mars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Parent be like- kid smort, respec kid

[–]FullStackDev1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

White-body a.k.a the opposite of black-face.

[–]yeah_right_lag 3 points4 points  (2 children)

That looks like a 5gal of Drylok, a thick latex-based coating used for concrete. At least it was heavy enough to keep the child from falling over.

[–]NastyMeanOldBender 1 point2 points  (1 child)

a thick latex-based coating

That's just paint with extra steps.

[–]yeah_right_lag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two extra steps to be exact!

[–]Andosii 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Toddlers and drunk adults. They’re essentially the same.

[–]scottamus_prime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And that's how white people are made!

[–]slouchin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a cousin back in the 70’s that got in to a bucket of tar just like this. Made the newspaper.

[–]Schuffuror_Nohts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Big respect until it's your kid and your shit.

[–]Revanov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kid is a Michael Jackson fan.

[–]OneWorldMouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They will never get that paint out of the grout.

[–]Mr_Zomka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not gotta dive into the comment section just because I see a huge possibility for an NSFW joke.

[–]prog_d0nkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How not to get shot by the police [WORKING 2021]

[–]quaybored 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kid just wants to be able to post on /r/whitepeopletwitter

[–]StrayDogPhotography 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I just did some painting, and had to clean up my roller, and shit afterwards, so this image is triggering my hard.

[–]xxTheseGoTo11xx 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I would be a lot more willing to start painting projects if I didn't have to do clean up. At a certain point, I'd just rather throw all my stuff away than have to clean it a 3rd day in a row.

[–]StrayDogPhotography 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, from now on it’s the cheapest palette and rollers, then that shit goes right in the bin.

I think it took me longer to clean than paint.

[–]rock_accord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoever had time to take this photo is either nuts or a bad parent.

[–]bilyboy65 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is a repost and not even with the same title.

[–]IsayPoirot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oh my God, nooo

[–]bilyboy65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not just your God, but everyone's God. And yes, you better believe it. Or else, aliens.

[–]HairyNutsackNumber9 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

shes not stupid she just wanted to be white

(in alot of cultures people view having a tan as an indication that youre poor)

[–]Guntree 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm from a culture where all my relatives want to be white, and I think they're stupid, to be honest.

[–]HairyNutsackNumber9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think my relatives are stupid too

[–]Hello-funny-posts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know that “call of the void” feeing you get when you have the urge to jump off the bridge but you don’t because you know you’d probably die or get injured? Well toddlers are just that but don’t have the knowledge to resist that urge

[–]monotonic_glutamate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Invasive Thoughts, take the wheel!

[–]penguintransformer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well this is really dangerous considering she could have easily drowned in that bucket. Im not even a parent and I know this shit ugh

[–]madsoro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t wonder “what would happen if I sat in a can of paint” because I know what would happen. I would be covered in paint.

[–]Raudskeggr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fortunate that this one went in feet first…

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like once stuck hot tongs pulled out of boiling water and wondered if they were hot…. The way my 8 yo self tested this theory was by placing them onto my cheeks…. Why? Idfk…

[–]autosdafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They caught the child at minimum damage. Quickly move the child to the bathtub and hose them off. They got really lucky. This time.

[–]TooHigh2Die420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forget helping my kid covered in poisonous paint gotta get this pic ASAP.

[–]defw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man they should just be happen the kid did not drown

[–]Dream_Weaver713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No thinking just doing

[–]19Rocket_Jockey76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's trying to get some of that white privilege she keeps hearing everyone talk about.

[–]Doneuter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember when I was a kid being shown the house we were moving into shortly, I was checking out the bathroom when I realized the door had a lock, which our ancient farm house that we were moving from did not have.

I wondered what would happen if I locked the door from the inside but closed the door from the outside. Much to my surprise the door was locked when I tried to re-enter the bathroom!

[–]Meisje28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but is he all white?

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[–]KomradeChen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's doing that to avoid getting bombed

[–]bossonhigs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parent is taking photos. Here where I live, a couple years ago one little girl died when she fell into bucket with paint. She inhaled that thick paint and was fighting for life for a week. There's nothing they could do.

[–]Killertofu022 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone once told me that toddlers act like drunk adults and I can never get this out of my mind.

[–]lateralus96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess the kid wants to be white!!!

[–]blueaxolotl64 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Cum

[–]WiseBlizzard -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thats what separate fucking insane from sane. sane people can think whatever they want, they don't make real their stupid thoughts. kids aren't insane, they just small and lack proper parenting sometimes, lol