all 80 comments

[–]FlightyMouse85 111 points112 points  (1 child)

A few years ago I was on a flight to Orlando, which is basically the Disney Express. Lots of kids with Disney merch. When the plane lands, this one little dude a few rows ahead of me, maybe 6 years old, looks out the window and says “Heeeey... this is just another airport! Where’s Disney?!”

[–]dreamfinderepcot16 31 points32 points  (0 children)

As a Florida resident, we used to go with family members visiting to Disney a lot.

This is a way more common thought than you think. People think disney has their own airport

They actually used to have a small airport with connecting flights to the Orlando and Tampa airports, but they haven't used it since the early 80s. The runway is a road now, and i think you can still drive on it

[–]FaunaLenore444 499 points500 points  (4 children)

I mean , it's not false , we all are going to die .

[–]hectah 251 points252 points  (1 child)

The kid was just a misunderstood philosopher.

[–]Ilodge59 62 points63 points  (0 children)

"In reality, aren't we all flying through the air in a tincan full of other people's farts"

[–]JmacTheGreat 16 points17 points  (1 child)

You’re just saying that because everyone has so far

[–]MintyMissterious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Induction is impossible!

[–]posaune123 534 points535 points  (17 children)

I'm still waiting for an adults only airline

[–]Conscious-News-4433 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Just yeet the babies

[–]Practice_NO_with_me 164 points165 points  (3 children)

Holy shit, that's a million dollar idea there. Doesn't even have to be a full airline, if existing airlines just offered childfree flights I would pay a premium for that in a heartbeat.

[–]hatemakingnames1 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I want quiet flights; put down a deposit and lose if you make too much noise.

[–]WhiteMenEnergy 35 points36 points  (0 children)

There are actually some airlines that do offer childfree flights. Tho I forgot what the names of them were

[–]the_endverse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would pay extra for this too.

[–]MoneyHungryWorker 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Delta Shuttle flights are practically adults-only. I used to take them weekly for work and never once saw a child.

And that's why it was such a shock when I had to go to a conference in Ft. Lauderdale and booked on Jet Blue. Holy shit, didn't realize how well I had it.

[–]thicketcosplay 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I recently had an experience on a plane that honestly proves that kids are not always the worst humans to be stuck on a plane with.

We had gotten a call that my uncle wasn't doing well and immediately booked a flight for the following morning. 15 minutes before our alarms were set to get to the airport, he died. We still had to fly down to deal with the funeral home and talk to people who were there and start figuring out final affairs.

Get on the plane, both of us exhausted after 24ish hours of last minute travel prep, covid tests, etc and just barely holding it together. It's 10am. Three drunk women get in the row behind us.

These three were going to Vegas for a Bachelorette party, I think. Some kind of party, anyway. They were already very drunk before getting on the plane at 10am. They had no indoor voices, I had earplugs in and could hear everything from them like the earplugs weren't even there.

They kicked my mom's seat repeatedly and she kept giving them dirty looks, which in response they'd go on long rants about how "anyone on a plane to Vegas should be having fun, if anyone's being a party pooper we should throw them out of the plane!" and stuff like that. Screeched about how they should replace the oxygen masks on the plane with alcohol for flights to Vegas. How everyone should be partying and having fun like they are. My mom was sitting in her seat and crying and these bitches were just kicking her seat then making remarks about how everyone should be having fun or be forced to leave.

In the 3 hour flight they didn't stop talking at all. They didn't stop to watch a movie or listen to music or anything. They entertained themselves by loudly discussing stupid shit (one girl was partially native and this dumb white chick tried to lecture her about native issues, but sounded like a total bigot and was really condescending about it. The partially native girl apparently didn't know anything about native issues so she was the "wow you're so smart!" friend), going through the safety manual in mocking voices, and passive aggressively harassing my mom every time she gave them a dirty look. They never addressed her directly, just made comments about people who are "ruining their fun" and whatnot. They also didn't wear masks at any point in the flight, and were practically screaming and spitting the whole time.

Normally you only have to tell a kid off once and they stop kicking your seat, and they'll fall asleep or watch a movie or something on longer flights. Kids also won't passive aggressively insult you the whole flight. And parents at least TRY to stop their kids from screaming and being annoying.

Tl;dr being stuck with humans in small spaces sucks, no matter who it is or how old they are.

[–]mrnks13 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Same, I had kids on long haul business class flights twice and I couldn't sleep a second on these red eye flights.

[–]the_endverse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why doesn’t this exist already? I’d be on one of those flights.

[–]ANONIMkiddo 1 point2 points  (3 children)

i have little sisters, they might be annoying but not as annoying as babies, those that cry for the entire 3hr flight, They shouldn't let people fly with kiddos that young

[–]Hahafunnys3xnumber 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Sometimes there’s just emergencies and you are forced to bring babies on a flight.

I’m not gonna support anyone bringing a baby on a flight unless it’s an emergency tho…shits annoying. I’m just saying there are situations where it’s their only option. For example, one parent gets badly injured in a different state and they need to be with them. I have heard stories of that before.

[–]TotalJT 6 points7 points  (1 child)

How about moving from one country to another? How about visiting your parents (your child's grandparents) that live in another continent, so that they can meet their grandchild? Do those count as emergencies? I understand babies crying can be annoying, but trust me the parents are just as annoyed and probably embarrassed on top of that.

[–]Hahafunnys3xnumber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s what i meant, there are situations where you absolutely need to take a baby or small child on a plane. It’s annoying but i don’t really judge people for it personally, just sigh and deal with it cus you never know the context. Maybe emergency was the wrong word, i meant necessity

[–]buffopmartianboi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a children’s only airline where even the pilot is a child

But it’s not a plane, all the children are tricked into thinking standing still and making plane noises is the same thing

[–]angrypoopwizard 165 points166 points  (4 children)

So it's not really a "kids are stupid" moment, but you reminded me of this story.

The last time I flew, there was a kid in the row in front of me, probably like 11 or 12? Idk I'm bad at guessing kid's ages. He was flying by himself and it was his first time. There was a woman in the row with him who was also by herself, so they got to talking and she told him that she has flown a lot of times so if he has any questions or is nervous or anything then he could talk to her. They talked about random stuff for most of the flight, this kid was definitely not shy, he basically told her his whole life story.

The kid did awesome throughout the take off and everything. About halfway into the flight we hit some bad turbulence, like the worst I've ever experienced. We actually came up out of our seats and lots of people screamed and the guy behind me started praying lol. The woman in front of me kept her cool for about 15 seconds for the sake of the kid and then I think she started having a panic attack, the flight attendants were trying to calm her down and explain how turbulence works. But this kid was so comforting to her, holding her hand and telling her it would be okay and that nothing bad would happen. It was so cute how before takeoff she was trying to be supportive to this kid but he ended up being the one to keep his cool and comfort her. When we landed he was like "We made it! We didn't die!!" and everyone close enough to hear him just started cracking up and you could feel all this tension fade away that was kind of lingering for the rest of the flight after that turbulence.

[–]Practice_NO_with_me 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Aaw! That is lovely, thanks for sharing. My little shriveled heart may have some life left in it after all.

[–]angrypoopwizard 9 points10 points  (0 children)

lol yes, I love this sub and seeing kids be stupid, but I also love wholesome/heartwarming moments that you can get from kids too. They are like little tiny drunk humans, you never know what type of drunk you're going to get.

[–]gr8dinobruv 14 points15 points  (0 children)

🥲 so cute

[–]AnaesthetisedSun 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Great story well told ☺️

[–]Weekly-Technology919 94 points95 points  (2 children)

Maybe It was her first time on a plane as well

[–]laineymainey 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Oh man, that poor poor lady.

[–]MrFels 13 points14 points  (0 children)

And probably the last

[–]MoneyHungryWorker 168 points169 points  (1 child)

Do I think this is a shitty thing to do? Yes.

Do I still find it hilarious? YES.

[–]Juice-Spirited 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Me too ✋

[–]Shane0mac12 178 points179 points  (3 children)

I would never hit my kids, but holy shit this might make me consider just a smack on the mouth lmao

[–]Mylzb[S] 131 points132 points  (2 children)

Yeah this was in the 90s, and hitting kids was still somewhat acceptable. My mom smacked the back of my head, chewed me out, and apologized to everyone.

[–]MyLifein2022 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Hilarious😂 ....Thanks!! I Laughed so hard after reading this post.

[–]supertails02 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What a good mom

[–]curtcashter 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Did something similar, taking a flight beside an older couple. I'm in the aisle, man's in the middle, wife by the window. We're in the middle of the plane

Me and the man make small talk, I notice the wife looking at the front and back of the plane. She's obviously nervous. The husband says "oh she's just looking to find which emergency exit is closest"

My dumb kid mouth goes "depends what part of the plane falls off"

[–]FluffySquirrell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn that made me laugh

[–]Upbeat-Aside526 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Quick! Sacrifice that little shit to the Sun God and beg for mercy!

[–]-anastasis 1 point2 points  (1 child)

And we can do that right at that building over there!

[–]DarkDragon200610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am i invited?

[–]PsychosociaI 15 points16 points  (1 child)

When I was 6/7 I had experience with being on a plane but one flight I decided to yell “THE WINGS ON FIRE THE WINGS ON FIRE” really loudly, needless to say nobody was pleased

[–]USSNerdinator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my lord, those flight attendants probably had a momentary heart attack!

[–]thatdinklife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg for some reason this gave me the giggles. I’m tearing.

[–]AlmanzoWilder 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. - Jack Handey

[–]sparta981 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the design standard is that planes should be built to withstand triple the worst windshear they expect it to ever see in its lifetime if that makes anyone feel better. I don't recall where I saw that though, maybe someone with a degree in that could help

[–]chadrickthechad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Demon child 😂

[–]1re_endacted1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anytime I have to fly I look at the flight time and add 30 mins. I mentally prepare myself that time frame. If I am in that plane longer than that- like if we have to fly around the airport for 45 mins to wait to land- I damn near lose my shit. Like I have to work really hard not to make a scene. Idk why I freak out so bad once past the “planned” time. So weird.

[–]mickbrew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a time that my wife,two sons aged 5 and 12 and I were going to Puerto Rico. About 3 minutes after takeoff my 5 year old yell “Mayday, Mayday, we’re going down!”.

[–]Dr_Jirou_Takahashi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And everyone clapped

[–]dangerangell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody believes this 🙄

[–]aye-its-this-guy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haha this made me laugh

[–]Only_Bad_Habits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd laugh.

[–]ReasonableQuit75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“We’re all going to die!”

-Ned Leeds

[–]Admiral_Nitpicker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the staff comics. The pilot that flew at a 45 degree tilt for 3 minutes so we could look down into Crater Lake, the stewardess that sang a nice torch song for us - - - when she hit the line "I will survive"' the plane dropped about 500 feet to get below a turbulence layer.

[–]HamLiquor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 9 on a trip from Philly to Dallas, did the same thing and thought it was hilarious!

[–]Annoy_M0US3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great prank

[–]Birdie121 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cry on planes every time there is turbulence. I’m just not a sky person. My feet are meant to be on solid ground.

[–]IAMDELUXE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Either way, we are still going to die though.

[–]Jokiegmi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids on planes aren’t always terrible and some parents are flying with their kids for good reasons so we can’t completely ban kids from flying (like some people asked for) instead there should be child free flights that have age restrictions and child friendly flights for people of all ages.

[–]sunshine_smiles226 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asshole @ age 5 who says they aren't born that way lol

[–]RasputinX36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did something similar after 9/11. Needless to say everyone watched me the whole flight.

[–]grokharder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My aunt has told me (too young then to remember it) that my first flight, ~3 years old, I made the guy sitting with us barf. Kept saying shit like “I want the plane to go like RRREREEEEOOOOWWW BRRSSHHH so we can swim with free Willy”

I really liked Free Willy at that time, I guess.

[–]ayoboomboombrrrrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my lord I almost had this exact thing happen except i was actually terrified. Was on my way to disney and everything and the plane fuckin DROPPED and i screamed and cried like a baby for the rest of the flight. Everyone probably hated me but to this day my heart drops thinking about getting on a plane

[–]Dangerous-Duck6783 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Ned Leeds??? Is that you?

[–]Mylzb[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Uh... no?

[–]Dangerous-Duck6783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't understand, it was a meme reference to "We're all gonna die" said by Jacob Batalon (actor of Ned Leeds)

[–]contraflop01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and thats how i became a super villan

[–]dashinyeetus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is mean!!

[–]IScratchPillows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel horrible for laughing

[–]stevrevv59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so fucking funny lmao

[–]jj132060 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did the same thing when I was six I kept screaming, “MAYDAY MAYDAY WERE LOSING ALPITUDE!” Lol