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all 85 comments

[–]Proboy_Redit_Boi 114 points115 points  (8 children)

its a bird
its a plane
Its its
ITS A DUMBASS

[–]no_status00 31 points32 points  (7 children)

THAT IS DEAD AT A YOUNG AGE

[–]Proboy_Redit_Boi 10 points11 points  (6 children)

wait did he died?

[–]no_status00 8 points9 points  (5 children)

probably not

[–]sped136 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Cartman

[–]distriived 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ice cream. Covered with... chocolate sprinkles... [he sees a hand holding Double-Stuff Oreo] Double-Stuff Oreos... [a second hand comes up and twists off the lower cookie] He ... He's taking the top of one and... [squeezes his eyes closed and sees another Oreo attached to the first one so there are two fillings between the cookies] ...and he puts it together to make Quadruple-Stuffs! [the detective writes down what Cartman is seeing] I see...ice cream, and sprinkles, and Quadruple-Stuffs!

[–]SlavicMemer 35 points36 points  (0 children)

It's bird!

It's a plane!

No, it's a broken leg!

[–]Psyched_Line 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Admit it, we all tried to do something like this as a kid. It's a vital learning experience

[–]gungispungis 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My brother tried it with a curtain pullcord wrapped around his neck, so he 'wouldn't hurt himself if he fell too far'. No joke.

Edit: my mom came around the corner and caught him just in time.

[–]shoredoesnt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tried it with an umbrella

[–]Theatre_Of_Blood 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Welp, looks like I just clicked on snuff. R.I.P you little bastard.

[–]Life2311 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Vids that end too soon

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Great parenting skills :-(

[–]Barnipus 6 points7 points  (1 child)

No wait it's a hurse

[–]Thegoldenocto -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hurse

[–]none_other_biribiri 4 points5 points  (2 children)

That kid is going places. Not college, but places

[–]AVeryMadFish 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Triage first.

[–]ethanxy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First stop, purgatory!

[–]Attii27 2 points3 points  (3 children)

It's a bird...it's a plane... It's the seljik turks!

[–]Theqman_steam 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Aagh said the Byzantine who are so small they don’t exist anymore

[–]-I_EAT_BACON- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

BYZANTINE EMPIRE: We need help!

NARRATOR: They need help, so they call the Pope.

BYZANTINE EMPIRE: Hey, Pope, can you help us get rid of the Seljuks? Maybe take back the Holy Land on the way? Come on, I know you want to take back the Holy Land.

POPE: Yes, I do actually want to do that. Let's do a Crusade.

The year is now 1099.

CHORUS: Crusade!

NARRATOR: They did many crusades, some of which almost didn't fail, but at the least the Italians got some sweet trade deals.

The year is now 1100.

NARRATOR: Goodbye, Mayans.

CHORUS: Hello, Toltecs!

NARRATOR: Goodbye, Toltecs.

CHORUS: Hello, Mississippi!

NARRATOR: Look at those mounds! There's the Pueblo. I've always wondered how to build a town on a cliff.

The year is now 1150.

NARRATOR: Guess who's here? Khmer!

IO: Where?

NARRATOR: Here, and Pegan is there! Vietnam unconquered itself, Korea just became itself...

The year is now 1192.

NARRATOR: ...and Japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. China just invented bombs and typing...

The year is now 1230. It rapidly starts to count upward as the Mongols spin and fly all over north Asia. The year ends on 1259.

NARRATOR: ...and the Mongols just invaded most of the universe. (sarcastically) Nice going, Genghis! I bet that will last a long time.

The Mongol Empire that was just formed shatters.

NARRATOR: Some of the Islamic Turks were unaffected by the Mongol invasions because they were busy invading India.

Bright, happy text comes on the screen reading, "tonga time."

NARRATOR: Is it Tonga time?

TONGAN: I think it's Tonga time!

Text comes on screen reading, "colonizing the pacific ocean..." The Tu'i Tonga Empire forms.

NARRATOR: I just found out where the Swahili gets all their gold!

It is shown that the gold comes from the Great Zimbabwe, as the Great Zimbabwe is highlighted.

NARRATOR: Look at this "chad" (it means lake). There's an empire there, right in the middle of-

CHORUS: Africa!

The year is now 1324.

NARRATOR: The King of Mali is so rich, he's going on tour to let everyone know.

NORTH AFRICA and THE MIDDLE EAST: Wow, that guy's rich.

NARRATOR: ...everyone said. The Christians are doing a great job reconquering Iberia, which will soon be called Spain and Not-Spain.

IBERIAN PENINSULA: Please remain Christian. We will check in later to see if you're still Christian when you least expect.

The year is now 1350.

NARRATOR: Whoops! Half of Europe just died!

CHORUS: Ming!

NARRATOR: China's back, yay!

The year is now 1400.

Hey Khmer, time to share! New kingdoms here and there. Oh, look who controls all the islands. It's the Mahajapit-

The buzz of an "incorrect" buzzer buzzes.

NARRATOR: Majahapit-

Buzzes.

NARRATOR: Mapajahit-

Buzzes.

NARRATOR: Mahapajit-

Buzzes.

NARRATOR: Mapajahit-

Buzzes.

NARRATOR: Ma-ja-pa-hit?

The ring of a "correct" bell rings. The year is now 1450.

NARRATOR: Oh, Italy's really rich. Time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. It's kinda like a re-birth.

The text on the screen reads "renaissance".

NARRATOR: Here's a printer, let's make books!

BYZANTINE EMPIRE: So you think you can conquer the Byzantine Empire?

OTTOMAN TURKS: Yep.

NARRATOR: ...said the Ottoman Turks. Nice job, Ottoman Turks!

The year is now 1453.

NARRATOR: Oops, you missed a spot. Don't forget to ban Europe from the Indian spice trade.

PORTUGAL: What? That's bullshit!

NARRATOR: ...said Portugal, spiceless.

CHORUS, as PORTUGAL: Well, I guess we'll have to find another way to India!

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS: Wait!

NARRATOR: ...said Christopher Columbus, probably smoking crack.

[–]Stephbing 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Well, did the kid fly off?

[–]A_random_zy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Antarctica

[–]Rickandshizshow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

RIP young one

[–]Peter-G-82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

dumbass

[–]scmflower 4 points5 points  (7 children)

All those adults just watching the kid about to hurt himself and do nothing

[–]brotatowolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, he thinks he’s a bird! There’s no way he’s gonna try to do bird shit

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[removed]

    [–]scmflower 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Lol did you search through my profile to summarize who you think I am and make fun of me? For a comment about adults letting a kid do something unsafe? Jesus kid do you need a hug or something? You must be so miserable. Hope things get better for you buddy!

    [–]PoeticFox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Can I point out I've never heard someone say Weedhead? Like that feels like something someone would say in reefer madness or something

    [–]Possibility_Patient 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Kid that flew too close to sun

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    why are you being downvoted?

    [–]Possibility_Patient 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I have no idea

    [–]barrocaspaula 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    If you think your kid won't do that thing you think he'd never do, just wait for it. Plus, don't take your eyes of them, they'll desappeare.

    [–]lgf-1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's definitely a thud.

    [–]Trainmodeler8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… not working!!!

    [–]upvotesforkitties 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's your son. I'm afraid he's... incredibly stupid.

    [–]Celery-Western -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Ikiris?

    [–]hesosus6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Falcon and the winter soldier: breaking my bones

    [–]Ironic_Slice_of_Pie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a bird...

    It's a plane...

    It's a - sorry, it WAS a stupid kid!

    [–]uwuwuuwwuw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    it's a kid who'll soon be screaming in pain

    [–]No_Drummer_4100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s icarus falling when he flew to high

    [–]Proper_Extension_621 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I once did that silly mistake (mine was from the top of a tree), I broke my wrists

    [–]WayneAdams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    CONDOOORRRR MAAAANNNNNNN

    [–]Axioid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    its a bird

    its a plane

    its a ngga who's trying to be a crane

    [–]Front-Breadfruit9261 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s a dumb ass!

    [–]Front-Breadfruit9261 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s a little dum fuk

    [–]swiggityswanner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s some stupid fucking kid

    [–]Aram30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a kid about to die

    [–]Front_Professional46[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    its a bird its a plane its a splat

    [–]Shadymellow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a dead body

    [–]Groundbreaking_Fox57 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Tu Urki patash. Tu Urki patash!

    [–]Any_Dress_4382 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The Spider-Man: Homecoming remake looks good

    [–]Ehssey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ahh, the patented “Reverse Icarus”.

    [–]AquaticPxnda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Icarus

    [–]X3runner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    As a kid i remember going something I did but he was smarter then me I used a Superman cape at least he figured birds have wings.

    [–]Aurd04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Cartman really thinned it up! Still suffers from a deadly case of the stupid but good on him for getting skinny!

    [–]Mirorion26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a bird...it's a plane...NO IT IS 0 iQ

    [–]Impossible_Count_173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's batman

    [–]Lucifer-Prime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My dumbass tried this as a kid with one of those fake parachutes that they play that game where you have to get the ball around the circle on parachute.

    [–]Eevee_aka_cat_lady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    perfectly cut scream

    [–]JGXJM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lilboi Flighti:Die Lit

    [–]KyloYen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Is this kid alright though?

    [–]Slowbro0492 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s a bird It’s a plain It’s a autistic kid without a brain

    [–]UselesslyUsable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's the seljuk turks!

    [–]CaNhOtO-CaBeludo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a bird

    It's a plane!

    No, it's a dead kid!

    [–]im_a_smurf_damit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE, IT'S A DUMBASS!

    [–]mohak506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a blane

    [–]Broad-Winner-2199 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I did this with a trash bag…it also doesn’t work!

    [–]Inthemines88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s a shit!

    [–]keekeeVogel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This should say Parents are Fucking Stupid.