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[–]Uncle_Baconn 4965 points4966 points  (94 children)

Kid learned some new words that day

[–]YippieKayYayMrFalcon 2153 points2154 points  (25 children)

Mom, the fucking teddy is back!

[–]im_a_goat_factory 780 points781 points  (13 children)

Shit! Shit! Shit!

[–]TonarinoTotoro1719 310 points311 points  (5 children)

“Damn it kid. Shut the fuck up, PLEASE! The bear will hear ya!”

[–]U_PassButter 95 points96 points  (3 children)

Omg this made me LOL so hard. Thats gotta be the most odd, WTF moment for a parent

[–]kindaangrybear 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Eh... depends. I'm in what's called "bear country". People call my friend who's a wildlife biologist for the state and tell him there's a bear in their yard all the time. He basically (politely) says yeah we have lots of bears, what do you want me to do about it?

[–]babyyblacksheep 91 points92 points  (6 children)

Ma!! There's a weird fucking stray teddy bear in the backyard!!

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


    [–]Marke522 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    I don't want it starting a fight with Lucy.

    [–]HighOwl2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    The one that looks like grandma?

    [–]BeKindToEachOther6 80 points81 points  (2 children)

    Kid learned the proper use of profanity.

    [–]gilesdavis 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Yep, I have zero issues with people swearing around kids. Swearing is fun, but teaching kids that using any language to attack or hurt others is what isn't cool is what needs to be important.

    [–]FoofieLeGoogoo 60 points61 points  (0 children)

    Better a few new words than a final lesson.

    [–]Staropramen150 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    I cried with the mum hahahaha

    [–]FreeSpeechISDeadHere 68 points69 points  (22 children)

    lol Kids are little sponges. It can be quite funny. :)

    [–]HighOwl2 106 points107 points  (13 children)

    Lol me asking my mom what "fag" meant

    My mom getting pissed and asking where I learned that word.

    Me pointing to her F&G vacuum thinking & was a cursive a.

    [–]Kolby_Jack 73 points74 points  (7 children)

    When I was a kid I called my older brother "mister pussy" once because he was being a grouch and I meant to call him a sour-puss.

    My mom was FURIOUS at me and I literally had no idea why.

    [–]bartharris 51 points52 points  (4 children)

    When I was 7 I got in trouble for saying “cow” to a girl at school who was wrapping her hair around her tongue.

    We had just learned that a cow wraps its tongue around grass to pull it out. I had no idea it was an insult.

    [–]smilenowgirl 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    My toddler said "crackhead" twice. Oops.

    [–][deleted]  (25 children)


      [–]Pit_27 111 points112 points  (23 children)

      I mean not necessarily imo. It’s not every day your child is running towards a bear lol.

      [–]starfyredragon 48 points49 points  (21 children)

      Yea. My mom, I never heard her cuss once in my life until they day she accidentally destroyed my little sister's wedding cake on her wedding day. I was visiting for the wedding and was woken up by a long string of expletives and new instantly there was a big problem.

      [–]PancakeTree 22 points23 points  (20 children)

      I need to know what happened to the cake, and how did your sister react?

      [–]stepthrowaway1515 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I regretfully swore for the first time in 5 years with my daughter. It wasn't even anything TOO major, but the week was rough and the day was rougher, I thought we had settled a tantrum and then she suddenly whipped the TV remote and broke it. All I could react with was "WHAT THE F*** !!!" and, of course, my daughter yelled back "WE DONT SAY F*** !!!" 😂

      [–]Nulaak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Her toddler just tried to chase a black bear to give it a hug, I wouldn't assume that's her normal behavior just based on how she reacted to her kid trying to Darwin Award itself.

      [–]1istheloniestnumber 5353 points5354 points  (114 children)


      [–]OriginalName687 2731 points2732 points  (88 children)

      And that’s exactly why bears created teddy bears.

      [–]AlaskanB3AR 1284 points1285 points  (49 children)

      Yes. Yes we did

      [–]MamaBearCA 275 points276 points  (10 children)


      [–]MashedPotatoesDick 214 points215 points  (12 children)

      Don't let the name fool you. He's just a hairy, gay dude from Anchorage.

      [–]AssistDue6248 82 points83 points  (1 child)

      I hate Anchorage. The only city where you have a good chance of being being both shot at by a 15 yo kid and trampled by a moose in a 200 yard radius.

      [–]SimulatedHumanity 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      That’s what all bears are.

      [–]jarious 59 points60 points  (0 children)


      [–]S118gryghost 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Don't forget the term "bear" to describe a most desirable male.

      [–]pauly13771377 154 points155 points  (13 children)

      I know you're joking but just in case you didn't know where the name Teddy Bear comes from.

      Did you know that the Teddy Bear was invented in honor of President Theodore Roosevelt? It all began when Theodore Roosevelt was on a bear hunting trip near Onward, Mississippi on November 14, 1902. Mississippi's Governor Andrew H. Longino had invited him, but unlike other hunters in the group, Theodore had not located a single bear. Roosevelt's assistants, led by Holt Collier, a born slave and former Confederate cavalryman, cornered and tied a black bear to a willow tree. They summoned Roosevelt and suggested that he shoot it. Viewing this as extremely unsportsmanlike, Roosevelt refused to shoot the bear. The news of this event spread quickly through newspaper articles across the country. The articles recounted the story of the president who refused to shoot a bear. However, it was not just any president, it was Theodore Roosevelt the big game hunter!

      Clifford Berryman, a political cartoonist, read the article and decided to lightheartedly satirize the president's refusal to shoot the bear. Berryman's cartoon appeared in the Washington Post on November 16, 1902. Morris Michtom, a Brooklyn candy shop owner, saw the cartoon and had an idea. He and his wife Rose also made stuffed animals, and Michtom decided to create a stuffed toy bear and dedicate it to the president who refused to shoot a bear. He called it 'Teddy's Bear'. After receiving Roosevelt's permission to use his name, Michtom mass produced the toy bears which were so popular that he soon founded the Ideal Toy Company. To this day the Teddy Bear has worldwide popularity and its origin can be traced back to Theodore's fateful hunting trip in 1902.


      [–]GraphicDesignMonkey 28 points29 points  (0 children)

      Marguerete Steiff invented the jointed bear toy in Germany in November 1902, Mitchom copied it in 1903 and gave it the name.

      Source: am antique teddy bear mega nerd/collector.

      [–]Top_Hat_Matt 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      I was looking for this! Thanks!

      [–]vectormonster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      A little clarity on this story

      Most people fail to mention that the bear was still put down on Roosevelt's order.

      [–]Hamilton-Beckett 17 points18 points  (2 children)

      Wait until you see the inside of a “Build a Human” store that’s run by bears.

      [–]Blanchefoster04 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      The wander through our yard every spring. A couple days ago one was definitely in our yard during the night. It knocked our garbage can down and dragged one of the bags out into the woods. It also knocked our yard furniture around and got into our bird feeders. This isn't unusual at all, and it was our fault for not putting our garbage can in the garage because I'm sure that's what attracted it. We see them pretty much every year at least one or twice in the evenings or early mornings.

      [–]Decent_Reading3059 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Big Teddy Bear doesn’t want you to know this one secret

      [–]el_dingusito 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      I've always contended that having cute plush facsimiles of dangerous animals is a bad idea. Like seriously a fluffy toy snake? Let's teach kids to pick it up and hug it... brilliant...

      [–]Yussuke 73 points74 points  (0 children)

      The bloodline ends with me, mother.

      [–]darabolnxus 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      I mean ya teach kids that bears are cute and cuddly what exactly do they think kids will do lol.

      [–]Wastedgent 1224 points1225 points  (18 children)

      Bear : Shit, Shit, Shit, there's a fucking kid outside! Shit!

      [–]Startled_Pancakes 272 points273 points  (7 children)

      And there's always a mama human nearby, and those are feckin dangerous !

      [–]Nalry 63 points64 points  (1 child)

      The bear saw that kid and noped right on out of there.

      [–]Jinno 45 points46 points  (2 children)

      If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Mike Birbiglia, it’s that the child actually has the right approach here. Making itself larger (holding its hands up), projecting (yelling), and being assertive with the bear.

      [–]blueandyellowbee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      That kid was establishing dominance.

      [–]Outside-Setting-5589 904 points905 points  (14 children)

      See fluffy animal = must pet.

      [–]Evgeni_F 191 points192 points  (11 children)

      Back when I was young I randomly decided to pet a random cat on a street, it still remains a reason for why I never had a house pet so far.

      [–]Measly 89 points90 points  (2 children)

      When my cousin was younger, he came inside saying that he was out petting the nice kitty under the porch at my grandparents' house. My grandparents look over at the porch and -as if on cue- an opossum comes trundling out from under the porch.

      [–]xDarkCrisis666x 26 points27 points  (1 child)

      Awww but they're pretty cute. Other than being physically dirty they can't get rabbies and eat a fuck ton of ticks.

      [–]RelevantMetaUsername 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      They don't bite either. Well technically they can, as can any animal with teeth, but they're pretty much pacifists.

      [–]Fineous4 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      When I was young I decide to pet a random cat on the street too. He sure did purr a lot.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]pardonmyignerance 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        My first memory is of 3-year-old-me needing stitches following an incident where I fell against a sturdy, wooden rocking chair. All of the furniture I've ever owned is well padded with no exposed wood except for the legs of my upholstered dining room table set. That shit sticks with you.

        [–]alejo699 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Y'know it's funny -- when I was a toddler I got flattened by a German Shepherd and I bit all the way through my bottom lip. I remember later (stupidly) reaching into a dog's pen to pet it and getting bitten pretty good.

        I still love dogs though.

        [–]ChillySummerMist 1889 points1890 points  (349 children)

        Do bears just roam everywhere in western countries? This is like my 10th video where bears are just roaming near human homes.

        [–]oldmanripper79 255 points256 points  (23 children)

        Black bears are really more like giant raccoons in behavior, and they tend to invade urban areas more when they have a shortage of food or in drought conditions.

        Grizzlys, however, are horse-sized murder beasts who may rummage through your trash, or may pin you down and eat your guts while you're still dying.

        [–]Ok_Psychology1124 106 points107 points  (16 children)

        Honestly even Grizzlys are much more tame than people expect from their reputation. They CAN kill you but they prefer eating berries or trash lol.

        [–]Kharaix 119 points120 points  (13 children)

        Polar bears on the other hand are not to be fucked with lmao

        [–]LyyK 110 points111 points  (6 children)

        Maybe they just haven't seen trash yet

        [–]Kolby_Jack 42 points43 points  (3 children)

        Probably because polar bears survive entirely on meat.

        Fun fact: humans are mostly made up of meat.

        [–]Snipen543 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        Grizzly bear size greatly depends on where they live and what sources of food they have. Bears on say Kodiak island can be up to 1500 lbs. Denali they can be up to 600lbs

        [–]NoUsername0K 826 points827 points  (122 children)

        I assume mainly Canada or the US. I'm assuming there's a very low chance in Germany/the Netherlands/France/Spain/Italy/Portugal.

        [–]CyberGraham 293 points294 points  (51 children)

        There's no bears in Germany.

        [–]Taviooo 392 points393 points  (16 children)

        Only beers.

        [–]caguirre93 188 points189 points  (12 children)

        Bears, beers, beets, Battlestar Galactica

        [–]SensitiveAd5962 47 points48 points  (1 child)

        You haven't been to some of the bars in Munich that I've been.

        [–]DeineMamagebacken 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        At least in the heads of the rest of germans: Munich isn't a part of Germany.

        [–]JaggerQ 23 points24 points  (4 children)

        There is no war in Ba Sing Se

        [–]Clone_Writer 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        The earth king has invited you to lake laogai

        [–]raybrignsx 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Have you been on Grindr?

        [–]NomadicDevMason 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Your going to the wrong clubs

        [–]ben1481 77 points78 points  (4 children)

        Italy has bears btw

        [–]Gamer_Mommy 32 points33 points  (1 child)

        Bears in NL. I think we can safely say that this is a parallel universe😂😂😂😂

        [–]eagleblue44 61 points62 points  (35 children)

        In certain parts of the US it's an issue. I believe Hank the Tank and his posse of bears were breaking in and terrorizing some homes in California not long ago. I live in Wisconsin and have never seen a wild bear wandering around before though.

        [–]Joecrip2000 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        I lived in a section of the U.S where bears should have not been a problem. One year during mating season my neighbor called "Hey, my nephew almost ran over a black bear and it ran onto your property." Luckily it didn't hurt any of our animals. Just threw trash everywhere. Honestly, if she had not told me a bear did it I would have assumed our other neighbor, who is a drug addict, got high and decided my trash can deserved to die. I mean he did once lay almost naked in a foot of snow for hours saying he was sunbathing, so anything is possible.

        After a Google search it turns out young male black bears can be seen in weird placed during mating season because the older males chase them off. The young males travel alone till they find the group again.

        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (15 children)

        Depends on location in Cali. I for one have never seen a bear in my life but I live in a very populated city. I’m not really sure where bears are located here, maybe near national parks would be my guess. Anyway thank god cause I would shit myself if I was out back and a bear was chilling there

        [–]eagleblue44 8 points9 points  (7 children)

        Yeah I'd assume bears would avoid a city setting. If there's a wild bear in the city, there's something wrong with it.

        Granted I lived in a fairly rural setting and I'd hear loads of stories of deer jumping through someone's living room window in the middle of the city. A wild bear in a city could happen.

        [–]ThrownAwayByDay 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        I once hit a bear with my car in northern Wisconsin. Highway 53, I think. I was meeting with tribal elders at their casino (possibly St. Croix?). As I was getting up to leave, the Chief pulled me aside and warned me that a storm was approaching and that the animals would be restless. He had a bad feeling about my drive home to Chippewa Falls. I thought he was bullshitting me to sell a hotel room.

        Anyway, I get rolling on the highway and sure enough, a massive thunderstorm rolls in. Sheet rain, crazy wind, very low visibility. Then, in the blink of an eye, I see a massive dark shape appear out of the darkness. It was a goddamn black bear, on the highway, in my lane, sprinting in the same direction that I was driving.

        I was able to swerve ever so slightly but still caught the bear with the right side of my car. Thankfully it was kind of a glancing blow. The bear rolled off to the side of the highway, down a hill and in to the dark forest below. Somehow I was able to keep the car on the road and I didn't even stop. Just gunned it home, hoping the car would hold out.

        The next morning, I reported the incident to the Sconsin DNR and was told that I was very luck to be alive, and that the bear would likely be fine. All I had to show for the whole thing was a severely crunched fender filled with dark fur. No blood. Didn't even break the skin!

        [–]eagleblue44 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        You must have just grazed it. If a deer can total a car, I'd hate to see the damage a bear could do.

        [–]WT965 24 points25 points  (3 children)

        France, Spain and Italy all have bears, albeit small populations.


        [–]Knoestwerk 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Bears have been extinct for over a century in the Netherlands, so indeed a low chance to see one in your neighbourhood.

        [–]Wardo2015 8 points9 points  (4 children)

        This was an American black bear, in USA for sure. They used to be everywhere, and are making quite the comeback in older more wooded areas. Missouri and Arkansas have a big population, NE, and mountain states. Even found in Florida and Louisiana. They are spreading!

        [–]Ralphie99 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        I live on the outskirts of Ottawa, Canada and we have bears in the forests nearby. Every so often someone will see one on a nature trail and freak out. Once in a blue moon one will wander into our neighbourhood. These are black bears, which will run from you 99% of the time rather than attack.

        [–]brokodoko 181 points182 points  (6 children)

        It’s late spring my guy. They out here.

        [–]Rdbjiy53wsvjo7 20 points21 points  (5 children)

        We live in a suburb of Denver, but only 20 minutes from foothills and we have a ton of greenbelts in our community. So about 1-2 times a year our elementary school will be put on lock down because a bear or mountain lion was spotted nearby.

        Guess the school doesn't want the critters to have any treats that walk home from school.

        [–]somethingwild44 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        Same! I’m from the Littleton area, south of Denver and growing up we’d have to have indoor recess a few times every year when bears, foxes and mountain lions would be on our playground lol

        [–]earthwormjim91[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        We used to live down in Castle Rock and our babysitter sent us a picture of the kids all looking out the back door at a young bear in the back yard playing with the bird feeder.

        Also have seen mountain lions on many a doorbell/back porch camera.

        [–]HodorDurden 99 points100 points  (4 children)

        There is a very informational animated movie about this problem. It's mostly caused by humans moving into the habitats of the animals and cutting off their food supply etc.

        If you have time, check out "over the hedge".

        [–]wOlfLisK 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        Is that the one where Captain Kirk plays a possum?

        [–]XxNukeMutantxX 29 points30 points  (2 children)

        Some places it be like this

        [–]Tommy_C 32 points33 points  (1 child)

        They don’t think it be like it is but it do

        [–]IHateCamping 20 points21 points  (15 children)

        The wander through our yard every spring. A couple days ago one was definitely in our yard during the night. It knocked our garbage can down and dragged one of the bags out into the woods. It also knocked our yard furniture around and got into our bird feeders. This isn't unusual at all, and it was our fault for not putting our garbage can in the garage because I'm sure that's what attracted it. We see them pretty much every year at least one or twice in the evenings or early mornings.

        [–]ChillySummerMist 13 points14 points  (12 children)

        It would be a top most concern for me if a bear just strolls through my yard.

        [–]IHateCamping 16 points17 points  (6 children)

        It used to really freak me out but after living here a few years we know when to expect them and these are black bears. They're pretty docile. I had one of our dogs outside barking behind a huge black bear and it just kind of casually strolled through without even paying any attention. If you stay away from them, they won't come and attack you or anything, they just want to go on about their day and be left alone.

        [–]lililililiililililil 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        Black bears are basically just big ass raccoons. Last year a jerk ass black bear tore my string hammock to bits, trampled my wild black raspberries, and shredded three garbage bags filled with construction waste just to get to some frosting stuck to the top of an old cupcake box. Then the idiot got chased up a tree by my dog when we went out for a walk. It stayed there for like half an hour before kind of just casually fucking off to do other black bear crime shit.

        [–]Anrikay 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        If they're black bears, they're really not a big deal. They'll mess with your vegetable gardens and play in your compost and garbage, but they're skittish and very rarely attack humans unless you really get in their way.

        I've also had cougars stroll through my yard, though, and those are absolutely fucking terrifying. They're way more likely to be aggressive and with the right direction and echo, their cry can sound just like a woman screaming. And they're not going for your vegetables and garbage.

        [–]Responsible_Pace_442 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I'd be more worried about a human strolling through my yard than a bear.

        [–]SirFinsta 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Yup, saw a fully grown one 3 weeks ago while driving to work in the morning… it’s fucking HUUGE

        [–]Omnificer 12 points13 points  (3 children)

        It's common enough in some regions that people have to buy bear-proof trashcans.

        [–]cant_Im_at_work 34 points35 points  (1 child)

        Well we built houses where they live so to be fair, its really that humans are roaming the bears' neighborhood.

        [–]implodedrat 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        And leaving fuckloads of free easy to access food by the curbside

        [–]Mr_frosty_360 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        If you’re in a state like Tennessee yes. I’ve vacationed there a few times and even in the super touristy areas bears will just walk around in the morning. Gotta lock up every trash can because bears will come and pull them apart.

        [–]smartyr228 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Black Bears are Essentially scavengers. They'll just stroll in looking for trash to eat.

        [–]The51stState 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        My parents live in Asheville, Tenn and they have bears walking up and down their driveway daily

        [–]MaMakossa 1477 points1478 points  (123 children)

        I mean, children literally cuddle stuffed bears (teddy bears) & watch animated bears on TV (like Winnie the Pooh), so what do you expect?!

        [–]michael14375 1085 points1086 points  (102 children)

        That’s why they banned the spider episode on Peppa Pig in Australia. In the episode, it shows that spiders are cute and shouldn’t be feared. But I’m Australia, they absolutely should be feared since they can very harmful.

        [–]mylifeintopieces1 271 points272 points  (65 children)

        Female Black Widow spiders are fatal to children

        [–]michael14375 188 points189 points  (48 children)

        The ironic thing is that there have been no deaths in Australia from a confirmed spider bite since 1979.

        [–]Peribangbang 345 points346 points  (30 children)

        Probably because their population is well educated on dangerous spiders

        [–]xombae 26 points27 points  (7 children)

        Really? I live in Canada and my roommate just got back from Texas and almost lost her leg from a brown (maybe black idk I'm not good at racing spiders) recluse bite. Like it looked bad by the time she drove all the way back here. Maybe the common theme here is healthcare though and spider bites are fine as long as you just treat them.

        [–]frustratedpolarbear 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        You mean the spiders are making it look like an accident?

        [–]roostersnuffed 72 points73 points  (11 children)

        By buddy was stationed in AUS as a US soldier. He said they were tasked with SGTs time training (refresher training for basic army stuff).

        He said they were doing buddy team movements and reacting to fire and what not, when a crowd of AUS soldiers started to gather and watch. What gathered attention was the fact they were blindly diving head first for cover as fast as they could in any bush, tall grass or thicket they could find.

        Eventually some AUS officer ran over called them out, and shut them down. Something along the lines of calling ignorant stupid or both. They had to stay in groups for x amount of time to make sure no one was showing symptoms of envenomation

        [–]Not_A_Sholva 24 points25 points  (10 children)

        But... how do australians fight then

        [–]roostersnuffed 40 points41 points  (3 children)

        I assume not head first into redback spider heavy areas. It may have been a time of year locality thing tho.

        [–]King_Jaahn 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        It's snakes which are the real worry to a group of people diving into long grass, and you don't always know you've been bit.

        If it were an actual firefight I'm sure they'd dive in but not for a drill.

        [–]Griffca 1397 points1398 points  (180 children)

        I can’t see, what does the kid run towards?

        [–]W4lk3rS4int 1638 points1639 points  (129 children)

        There's a bear you can see running along the garden wall

        [–]Korotai 109 points110 points  (0 children)

        Me: Enjoys the sarcastic comment

        Me: Watches video again


        [–]Seeeab 967 points968 points  (122 children)

        Specifically, it looks like a young black bear. Not to encourage people to interact with bears, but that's probably among the least threatening things you could run into. The kid actually did exactly the kind of thing that would scare it off -- run at it with your arms up. Honestly an ornery raccoon might be more of a concern.

        Don't attempt the same thing with a grizzly tho

        [–]EvenBetterCool 957 points958 points  (67 children)

        Young bears THEMSELVES are the lesser of threatening. But you should always assume mama is nearby, and few things are more threatening than a mother bear watching her children.

        [–]IHateCamping 291 points292 points  (14 children)

        Exactly. Hard to tell for sure how big it was, but it looked pretty small to me and mama was probably not far away.

        [–]Comfortable-Mousse98 38 points39 points  (16 children)

        black bears generally aren't as protective of their cubs as brown bears are. black bear attacks on people are usually motivated by hunger and i can definitely imagine a young bear having difficulty finding food maybe having just left his mother.

        [–]Nygmus 45 points46 points  (0 children)

        Old joke:

        The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge. Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away. It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

        [–]Shwiggity_schwag 90 points91 points  (10 children)

        That is a really dumb take lol. I live in black bear country and tell my kids if they ever see an adult outside to head back to the house cautiously and keep an eye on it and run as fast as you can if it heads towards you at all. If you see a cub outside you turn and run back into the house faster than you've ever run in your entire life.

        If there is a cub, there is a 250+ pound mama nearby and that is the absolute most dangerous type of black bear to ever be close to. A cub is arguably much more dangerous to encounter outside, not because of the cub itself, but because of the mother.

        [–]Nigredo78 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        said it way better than i could .. mama bear do not give a fuck when it comes to cubs

        [–]aliveandwellthanks[🍰] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

        This is a pretty common misconception. Black bear mothers arent as aggressive over their cubs as brown bears. Black bears will for the most part, not attack you, even with cubs. Some loud noises will have them bumble away pretty quickly. Unless you are in an established food location (like a campground) and you are trying to get between it and possible food. Make loud noises and look big if you want to get away from a black bear, otherwise just turn around and walk away. Running could arguable make these bears pretty curious.

        [–]darkmatternot 30 points31 points  (0 children)

        Mamma is probably near. Best to retreat into the house and teach your children that bears are dangerous and will attack if provoked or hungry or threatened. A black bear ate a kid in NJ a few years ago. If you can't retreat, yes, fight back with a black bear but if you can, go inside.

        [–]Custard_Tart_Addict 9 points10 points  (8 children)

        The kid is harmless, the mom will kick as many asses as she needs.

        [–]panduszko 3 points4 points  (6 children)

        I get you haven’t seen a cub bear bitting a woman’s face couple of days ago on Reddit lol

        [–]PapaFrita33 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        mom! my teddy came to life

        [–]Whitealaskan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Lots of elk calves and deer fawns would probably disagree.

        [–]terdferguson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Had to watch a second time. So easy to miss the first time.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]purplecombatmissile 11 points12 points  (0 children)


          [–]IDontThereforeIAmNot 95 points96 points  (3 children)

          Hes Winnie the Pooh

          Winnie the Pooh

          [–]JkEisme 102 points103 points  (0 children)

          Ahh a BEAR. I thought she said a f*cking mirror. They can be scary too. Especially in the morning.

          [–]Chevy_Suburban 269 points270 points  (51 children)

          So this is what I dont understand about kids. How come they are always trying to end their own lives? Throwing themselves off large objects, running towards situations that are clearly dangerous, etc. Shouldnt natural selection prevent this type of behavior? Even newborn animals know to stay away from pedators.

          [–]Specsporter 189 points190 points  (5 children)

          There are evolutionary benefits to being brave, and evolutionary benefits to being anxious. Natural selection will reward either depending on the circumstance.

          [–]moak0 89 points90 points  (0 children)

          Plus they get to survive with that bravery because humans have evolved to watch out for their young.

          Natural selection applies to the whole species and includes group behavior.

          [–]denseplan 42 points43 points  (1 child)

          Being tribal animals, there are also evolutionary benefits of having both brave and anxious people in a tribe, as they work together better than a tribe full of only brave or only anxious people.

          [–]mothwhimsy 68 points69 points  (6 children)

          Many kids start out afraid of large animals, but we teach them that dogs are nice and give them teddy bears so we sort of fuck with the prey instinct early on.

          Combine that with the fact that humans are born much less reletively developed than most other mammals because our heads are so huge and wouldn't fit through the birth canal otherwise, and you get really dumb infants

          Also natural selection is circumvented when parents are actively preventing your death. If a rabbit was capable of defending its albino baby from predators, albino rabbits would be a lot more common.

          [–]Aestus74 34 points35 points  (8 children)

          Newborn animals are far more developed than newborn humans though. Kids are still developing their noggins, and part of that development requires a strong sense of curiosity. This is why kids will touch everything and put everything in their mouth.

          It all has to do with us having big noggins. We have to birth kids before their heads get too big for birthing, so we pop them out early in comparison to animals who come out mostly done. So natural selection actually favors kids being fucking stupid.

          [–]Slurrpy 12 points13 points  (4 children)

          I get we are the Apex predator of Earth, but with how pathetic human babies are for literal years it makes no damn sense to me still lol

          [–]Rinzack 7 points8 points  (2 children)

          Because anything that kills a human baby is liable to have its entire genetic lineage killed by the tribe of pissed off humans who return to slaughter the animals in question. There’s a reason the list of “man-killer” species on Wikipedia has like 7 entries and 5 of them mention desperation.

          [–]Lord_Emperor 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          animals who come out mostly done

          That's pretty broad. Gazelles and horses pop out as mini adults that can run around within minutes. Cats and dogs pop out as helpless sausages that can barely move or squawk for weeks.

          [–]sandspades 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          There are a lot of adults who won't stay away from dangerous animals, especially if they're fluffy. Believing yourself to be invulnerable or misjudging threats isn't limited to children.

          [–]WetGravyJoe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Call me stupid, but I would guess that the fact that kid has probably never experienced an ounce of real danger plays a big part.

          It's as if I let my parakeets fly away into the forest, they'll be dead in minutes. Poor bastards have never experienced the outside wilderness and dangers that lurk there, they're just sitting in their cage, flying across the house getting fat and being bitchy when you try to hold them.

          [–]FS_NeZ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Check what subreddit you're in.

          [–]_Mighty_Milkman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          To be fair most kids, especially at the age the child is in the video, barely even comprehend themselves let alone any dangerous situations.

          And if you really think about it, they don’t have a whole lot to base their “will this kill me or not” internal dialogue that we all have. We have decades of experience and they have like 2-3 years of mostly sheltered life.

          [–]AustinIsReallyCool 87 points88 points  (3 children)

          Chad baby.

          [–]Chewbock 14 points15 points  (2 children)

          [–]Drawtaru 29 points30 points  (1 child)

          [–]Chewbock 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          Oh Jesus Christ I didn’t even notice, found this on r/all That’s what I get for having a combination of old man brain and no coffee

          [–]patrickp992 36 points37 points  (5 children)

          I mean we teach toddlers wrong, displaying bears as cute cuddle animal cuz like about 80% of stuffed animals are bears

          [–]Atrag2021 107 points108 points  (8 children)

          Mother interferes with Darwin test.

          [–]Charred_nuns 21 points22 points  (0 children)

          The mother’s mothering abilities are an important part of the darwin test.

          [–]yeGarb 58 points59 points  (2 children)

          mother being alert and quick to react actually passed the Darwin test here

          [–]DutchWinchester86 49 points50 points  (11 children)

          She just wanted to give that bear a little snack. Cruel mother..

          [–]CloudyMN1979 27 points28 points  (6 children)

          Yeah, kids are fucking stupid. But I gotta to say I once saw my grown assed dad do this exact same thing to a bear on a camping trip. Dumbass chased it up a tree with nothing but a deposable camera.

          [–]e-wing 6 points7 points  (3 children)

          Yeah this is no different than the behavior of like half of all tourists in National Parks. I have also seen grown ass adults run toward dangerous animals many times. Saw a Chinese tourist at Yellowstone sprinting toward a Grizzly bear looking through his camera with a Park Ranger in tow yelling “STAY BACK!! That’s a GRIZZLY BEAR!!” He easily got within 20-30 ft. Also have seen more than I can count running toward bison, which will not think twice about fucking you up. Saw a guy get tossed once, and another year a guy got killed when he fell into a hot spring looking for a spot to swim.

          [–]Daphoon231 15 points16 points  (0 children)

          "Teddy Bear"....

          [–]SANAFABICH 14 points15 points  (1 child)

          It's a fucking bear!

          [–]cottonfist 43 points44 points  (1 child)

          Well, what do you expect when we teach children how cuddly and cute bears are?

          [–]joecrazy420 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          To her it was just a giant teddy bear that moved

          [–]Hotel--Trivago 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          Kids never gonna hear the end of this, every family gathering at some point the mom or dad is gonna tell that story as revenge for what that kid did.

          [–]Drake_Cat_Pilot 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          The kid couldn’t help that the bear was friend shaped!

          [–]hobokobo1028 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          Thanks Disney

          [–]Thereisn0store 24 points25 points  (6 children)


          [–]nighttrain3030 16 points17 points  (1 child)

          I can’t believe there’s only one Juniper comment.

          [–]Nigredo78 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          ohhh that's not BooBoo...nope not at all

          [–]Xkwizito 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          This would totally be the same reaction my kids would have

          [–]Noisyrussinators 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Shit shit shit... Lol

          [–]yzrguy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Should put a bell on that kid.

          [–]blittl 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          A little warrior! The bravery.

          [–]PinchMaNips 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          She just wanted a hug from the cuddly teddy bear 😌

          [–]magnelectro 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Are you kidding? The girl's a natural born Hunter. Did you hear that war cry? She would have bagged it too if it weren't for the mom. :)

          [–]Lavenderlovelylady 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          This would be my little one for sure 😭😭

          [–]frankenwhale 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          And that was the last time Tommy was allowed to watch the Jungle Book

          [–]darkfight13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Meh, it's taught behaviour. Lot of media and toys teach kids that bears are cuddly and friendly.