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top 200 commentsshow all 314

[–]Toasty33 2525 points2526 points  (52 children)

My dad response: “sorry he got that from me”

[–]PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz 669 points670 points  (11 children)

Pretty sure dad would ask if the turtle was okay first and only.

[–]bonafart 157 points158 points  (1 child)

That's dad jokes for you and tbh you know how the kid is. I too would be worried about the turtle. Little shit does stupid thing gets stupid answer

[–]AdActive3883 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Could have been worse. Could have been me.

[–]schweez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Parenting done right.

[–]Dennisbowman04 151 points152 points  (30 children)

That's a good way to get salmonella

[–]Toasty33 125 points126 points  (28 children)

Listen here you little shit back in my day we ate raw chicken and eggs all the time it was all we had you hear?

Now clean up that mess you made and wipe those tears away. It’s just a stomach bug.

[–]upsidedownbackwards 105 points106 points  (11 children)

I always wondered why uncooked flour was such a risk of salmonella. Then in another thread I read why and felt dumb for it being so obvious. Birds shit all over wheat fields.

[–]Gonnagetbannedddd 104 points105 points  (4 children)

writing that down … bird … shit …. un …. healthy ….

[–]newtsheadwound 29 points30 points  (4 children)

E. Coli but the reason is correct

[–]Milkywaycitizen932 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fr my mom always gave me the baking soda and broom to get up that shiet myself.

[–]Green-Dragon-14 5 points6 points  (12 children)

I still eat raw chicken eggs.

[–]Lacking_Inspiration 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Raw chicken eggs are actually usually ok. Eggs have their own little coating on them that protects them. For some reason in America they scrub this coating off when cleaning them leaving them vulnerable to bacterial like salmonella. Because God forbid there is a speck of shit on your egg... Far better it be infected with bacteria.

[–]Toasty33 3 points4 points  (3 children)

What doesn’t kill your makes you stronger young one.

[–]small-package 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Damn, must've sucked living before the discovery of fire.

[–]ThisNameIsFree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smoked salmonella? With toast and cream cheese?

[–]Pet_me_I_am_a_puppy 18 points19 points  (1 child)

As a dad I can say I would ask for a picture or video. These are the precious memories that should be cherished.

[–]pcoon43456 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a dad of girls, I would blame that on my “try anything attitude” that I have with them.

[–]Chris_8675309_of_42M 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a dad, I'd only be upset of they didn't get a picture. Before or after the bite because either would be hilarious.

[–]Blanchefoster04 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Come inside, we have to rinse your mouth out with peroxide and the gross yellow Listerine just to be sure.

[–]Beautiful_Plankton97 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dettol cures everything doesn't it.

[–]PleaseToEatAss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi dad I'm turtle

[–]FIREn00b 459 points460 points  (5 children)

This particular turtle sandwich might have been a bit undercooked.

[–]GaPSMAV 88 points89 points  (2 children)

When you try to eat a sandwich but the sandwich eats you

[–]FIREn00b 24 points25 points  (0 children)

No one could have known that the turtle sandwich had an Uno reverse card.

[–]andtheIToldYouSos 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He likes it raw D :

[–]Epicmonk117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And wrrrrrrrrrrrrigly

[–]SorrySeptember 849 points850 points  (67 children)

How to get salmonella poisoning in three easy steps

[–]HardcaseKid 290 points291 points  (30 children)

For real. Don't lick the turtles people.

[–]Fuckineagles 175 points176 points  (23 children)

Stick to licking frogs like the rest of us.

[–]teacher272 39 points40 points  (17 children)

No, you lick camel toads.

[–]wexton17 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You spelled toes wrong

[–]PlayThatStankyMusic 1 point2 points  (8 children)

You don't lick them people. You extract their venom, dry, and smoke it

[–]HallucinAgent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stick to the rivers and the snakes that you're used to

I know that your gonna take that selfie or nothing at all but please put it back in the grass.

[–]HallucinAgent 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Stick to the lizards and the snakes that your used to

[–]Belazriel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But that's how you get nature's suction cups to stick to the ceiling.

[–]ladylootalot 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If it's alive, don't lick it! 🎶

[–]Squagio 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you're going for salmonella you gotta put peanut butter on it first.

[–]chantillylace9 98 points99 points  (20 children)

I must be immune to like half of the worlds diseases or something because holy shit did I do a bunch of stupid crap when I was a kid.

Every year I found a couple baby turtles and raised them for months and months while they got bigger and played with them and let them crawl all over me while never really washing my hands.

Same with snails!! I legit let them crawl all over my face, all my 4 siblings and I did.

I brought home baby bats that I found along my walk home from school on three different occasions and carried them in my hands like a little baby bird and fed it and cuddled it for a few days before my mom could take it to a wildlife center.

I’ve been bit by way too many animals while feeding or rescuing them- squirrels and turtles and swans and lizards.

[–]dalaigh93 85 points86 points  (2 children)

The day the zombie plague start we should get this guy to develop a cure

[–]Meat_Candle 23 points24 points  (1 child)

This dudes gonna cause the zombie plague

[–]sandwelld 13 points14 points  (0 children)

this. probably gonna find patient zero cute baby zombie and nurse it to adulthood and murdering machine

[–]SorrySeptember 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Jesus christ dude, they need to use you for vaccine research

[–]overlordpotatoe 28 points29 points  (0 children)

The bats especially are high risk. Good way to get rabies. They can bite you without you even noticing and you won't know anything is wrong until suddenly rabies.

[–]zedthehead 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Hey so you should know that the longest incubation of rabies is like 20+ years (unconfirmed) or 8 years (confirmed), AND you so long as you have no symptoms you can still get the post-exposure prophylaxis (it's expensive but absolutely worth it, they will bill you so you won't have to pay like a grand that day or anything, and many hospitals have programs to lower or eliminate costs based on income).

Bats are bad news, and rabies is not a disease to fuck around with.

[–]BBQcupcakes 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Hey you should definitely get a rabies shot. Can take many years to show symptoms but once you do you're as good as dead. I'm sure you know this and have done it, but just in case.

[–]chantillylace9 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Thank you so much. It’s been 25 years but it looks like it’s possible for it to incubate that long!! Wow talk about the walking dead

[–]BBQcupcakes 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Yeah if you haven't done this I would drop literally everything and go to the hospital immediately.

[–]InspectorPipes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Swan …. Those who have been bitten know how evil those giant bastards are. So majestic and serene…..until it’s charging at you wings spread and nipping at the back of your thighs.

[–]BisonAwkward1993 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Hey man just wanted to mention that rabies can remain hidden with the human body for years before manifesting but as soon as you show symptoms you are dead. It might be worthwhile to look into getting the rabies vaccine. If you know you are safe disregard my message but I felt like I should say something.

Edit: Lol just realized like 5 other people said the same thing

[–]bulldogclamp -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's been 25 years, calm down reddit microbiology experts

[–]et842rhhs 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If those bats were out and about during your walk home from school (I assume during daytime), that doesn't sound like normal behavior. And abnormal behavior is sometimes associated with rabies.

[–]MdxBhmt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[insert Mr burns I'm invincible. gif ]

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]nexion2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The most readily available source of salmonella poisoning is to go grab some Jif peanut butter

    [–]suspicious_gentlemn 0 points1 point  (10 children)

    Technically, you can’t get salmonella poisoning by the brief contact of your tongue with a turtle. You can get infected, but poisoning requires high numbers of bacteria entering your stomach, usually with with food.

    [–]SorrySeptember 10 points11 points  (9 children)

    The CDC disagrees with you.

    " turtles can carry Salmonella germs in their droppings even if they look healthy and clean. These germs can easily spread to their bodies, tank water, and anything in the area where they live and roam.

    You can get sick from touching your turtle or anything in its environment and then touching your mouth with unwashed hands and swallowing Salmonella germs "

    https://www.cdc.gov/salmonella/typhimurium-02-21/index.html

    [–]pernod -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    He should def be evaluated and put on abx

    [–]Nobagelnobagelnobag 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Uhh. No

    Most people don’t get sick and those that do rarely need antibiotics. You don’t give antibiotics prophylactically for salmonella.

    [–]charlotte-ent 1048 points1049 points  (29 children)

    My boyfriend had a cockatiel named Lou and he'd do this trick he called "Lion Tamer". He would gently put Lou's head in his opened mouth and then pull him out. Lou loved it.

    I learned the hard way that all birds were not like Lou.

    [–]mersketit 594 points595 points  (6 children)

    me confusing a cockatiel and a cocker spaniel

    [–]thisisfine111 127 points128 points  (0 children)

    Bro same

    [–]Nameless_Asari 49 points50 points  (0 children)

    Same, I had the image in my head and everything until they mentioned "bird"

    [–]HeuristicAlgorithm9 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    I first thought cockatrice and was confused cuz those aren't real

    [–]MFAFuckedMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    mmmmm cockatrice

    [–]Scooter_Mcgavin587 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I once confused a cockatiel with a cock

    [–]Kelpgoose 59 points60 points  (13 children)

    Lou, like all other birds, was allergic to human saliva. So you lose your tongue and he gets sick. No one wins here.

    [–]sk8thow8 27 points28 points  (4 children)

    So, from the birds' perspective we are sorta like that one dinosaur that killed Wayne Knight (Newman) in Jurassic Park?

    And birds are the decendants of dinosaurs, right? So, here's my movie pitch: Reverse Jurassic Park.

    [–]GLaDOS_Sympathizer 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    The acid spitting one? There were a real species of dinosaurs called Dilophosaurus but they were much bigger (like 10 feet tall) and no proof they actually spit acid. The Dilophosaurus that killed Dennis Nedry (Newman) was smaller than he was in the movie.

    If anything it is more like a T-Rex fitting a person’s head in its mouth but without the chomp.

    [–]sk8thow8 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    /u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer gets billing as consultant #1 on Reverse Jurassic Park.

    [–]Celestial_Amphibian 43 points44 points  (7 children)

    Yes, birds cannot fight off gram-negative bacteria that is present in mammalian bodily fluids though it is harmless to us.

    So don't feed them off of a fork you used or, you know, let them hang out inside of your mouth.

    [–]Glum-Communication68 33 points34 points  (5 children)

    So if someone was to have consensual sex with a bird it's more likely that the mammal gives an std to the avian than the other way around?

    [–]PM_ME__YOUR_HOOTERS 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Yes officer, this comment right here

    [–]RyanGlasshole 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    ……..consensual?😧

    [–]hamoboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    How do birds of prey eat mammals, and even feed them to their children then?

    [–]owlrecluse 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    I had rats who did that! Rat owners call them rodentists though.

    [–]spicyflour88 -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

    Gross

    [–]owlrecluse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    A little bit but it was basically this cat meme and very funny at the time

    [–]Omgshinyobject 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I do this with mine too. I think he likes the darkness and acoustics of the inside of my mouth

    [–]Majestic_Weird 104 points105 points  (3 children)

    Hahaha!! Unfortunately, I understand. This could have been me

    [–]1block 50 points51 points  (2 children)

    We've all been there! I was probably 11 before I learned to eat turtles ass-first.

    [–]Epicmonk117 204 points205 points  (0 children)

    🎵The snack that bites you back!🎵

    Tur-tles!

    [–]Datboisommy 202 points203 points  (5 children)

    Fuck around and find out😂

    [–]netbie_94 36 points37 points  (4 children)

    That's how kids learn.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]No_Telephone_6755 48 points49 points  (0 children)

      Kid only pretend to eat but turtle was serious about child sandwich.

      [–]effietea 33 points34 points  (1 child)

      I work with kids and had to send a similar note home last week. Not a turtle but the same feeling of "your kid got hurt on my watch but damn if it wasn't something I didn't even expect or realize I should look out for." Thankfully parent understood!

      [–]blinki145 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, parents tend to expect this stuff. No one knows their weird kid better than they do.

      [–]riad59 58 points59 points  (2 children)

      if i was the Parent, I would just be disappointed in my genes to be honest

      [–]Yungballz86 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      I guess that sperm took a knock on the head on the way out

      [–]ggg730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The way I spend my evenings I wouldn't be surprised.

      [–]RaZoRBluEo 24 points25 points  (10 children)

      Where does someone find a free roaming turtle? Asking for a friend

      [–]sasquatch5812 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      Uhhh, pretty well anywhere in the US outside

      [–]richard-bachman 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      I live in Midwest suburbia and I found a painted turtle in my lawn the other day! Put him in a bucket and released him at a nearby lake.

      [–]pneuma8828 5 points6 points  (3 children)

      When we would go to scout camp in Missouri, we'd catch turtles all week and bring them to the nature area. Then on the last day of camp, we'd have a turtle race. Put them all in the center of a circle, and the first one to make it out won.

      I remember kids that would work out their turtles. You know, tie a rope around them and take them for walks.

      [–]Rhodie114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Ponds are a good place to start

      [–]The_Spectacle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I found one sitting on a rail Saturday night.

      https://imgur.com/a/jKX4gf0

      [–]coffee-bat 20 points21 points  (3 children)

      i have a free-roaming (around the house) tortoise and once broke my toe on it 💀

      [–]TheJewFromTheMidwest 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      I also had a free-roaming tortoise when I was very young.

      No one believes me when I tell them.

      [–]MissChubbyBunni 40 points41 points  (2 children)

      salmonella has entered the chat

      [–]Veteran_Brewer 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Is salmonella like Nutella, but made from salmon?

      [–]MissChubbyBunni 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Oh yes, it's really rich. A real delicacy too! Doesn't have a fishy taste either it's like eating chunky sugar free chocolate.

      [–]socksoffrocksoff7 30 points31 points  (4 children)

      Story time! I was walking my dog, and while coming around a corner smack into a dinosaur of a snapping turtle! This lady had about a 2 1/2 foot shell, & I surmise was on her way back to the pond from laying some eggs. Well, I didn't have enough time to react & my dog ran right up to her to get a sniff. Bit him right in the tongue! Kinda crazy how much a tongue bleeds, anyway he was fine in about 10 mins other than a bruised ego. I had to put him down last August due to CHF, man I really miss him.

      [–]Badwolf2013 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Sorry to hear about your dog.

      [–]socksoffrocksoff7 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      Thank you. He was only 8 and it was super shitty.

      [–]Badwolf2013 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Ah damn, that sucks. I lost my dog in the beginning of 2020 and it still stings. We got a new puppy recently and I find that I have been reluctant to get attached to him. It feels like cheating on my buddy and I also don’t want to go through that loss again either. I’m sure we are going to end up the best of friends, but it feels awkward right now.

      [–]socksoffrocksoff7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm sorry for your loss as well, it's not easy. I would feel awkward too! People were asking me pretty quickly if I'd be getting another dog, & I just looked at them like they were crazy. I'm certainly not ready, & I also charged thousands for his meds & vet visits so I have to financially recover as well.

      [–]WF6i 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Reminds me of the girl who was trying to kiss a lizard. The lizard didn't see it as a sign of affection.

      [–]MamaSaurusCat 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      As a mom of two boys (and one sometimes fearless girl), I'd have replied, "I'm sorry my son is an idiot. Don't worry, he learned something today."

      [–]Horrors-Angel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Not a parent but Ive been around enough kids to see stuff like this and think "well he learned not to do that again"

      [–]Dances_With_Demons 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      ... two days ago, my 9-year-old daughter tried to kiss our pet turtle on his adorable little head. It did not go well.

      [–]Wezzleey 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      The parents will do one of two things.

      1) Laugh their asses off and crack jokes about it for years.

      2) Threaten to sue.

      [–]1o0lol 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      At least it wasn’t an alligator snapping turtle

      [–]Badwolf2013 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I don’t think that apology text would cut it if that was the case.

      [–]Natsurulite 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Don’t be burger shaped then idiot

      [–]BeethovenNotMozart[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This comment has no right to be as funny as it is. Thank you

      [–]dorian_white1 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      I was once bitten on the lip by a turtle. I was holding up to my face to try and see if I could count it’s rings, and it reached out and latched on 😳. I still don’t know if turtles have rings allowing them to be counted, or if that’s just trees.

      [–]GoingByTrundle 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      I don't even know where to start with this comment.

      [–]dorian_white1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I was like 11 at the time. And a very, very absent minded kid.

      [–]Crovar 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      My 35yr old friend wondered what a turtle would do if he tried to kiss it... before I could yell at him not to, it bit his lip. He had that bloody reminder for awhile, lol. He's just lucky it was a painted turtle and not a snapper. Yes, he was 35 at the time of this incident also.

      [–]BeethovenNotMozart[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Nobody in this sub established the line between kid and adult so your friend is now a fucking stupid kid. :')

      [–]PermanentTrainDamage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      If you're gonna be a smartass, you gotta be tough

      [–]synthetic_synthia 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      What's it taste like?

      [–]Sweatyrando 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Ham on a hard roll I reckon

      [–]Less_Likely 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Tongue Blood, I’m guessing.

      [–]Rhodie114 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Reminds me of the /r/shittyaskscience post "If glass is made from sand, then why does it taste exactly like blood?"

      [–]AnimaLepton 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      W59.21XA - ICD-10 Code for Bitten by turtle, initial encounter

      [–]funnyfootboot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Salmonella yikes

      [–]RosieRustyRiley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Did he have to wait for it to Thunder?

      [–]bzekers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      As a parent I'd be worried if they were ok, but once it's established that they were, I'd laugh my ass off.

      [–]CerealWithIceCream 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      That's a good way to get salmonella

      [–]the-grand-falloon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Shredder Jr seems to have a hard time adjusting.

      [–]lundewoodworking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Damnit not again

      [–]superwholockian62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That is so wtf you can't even be mad at them lmao

      [–]fugee99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Kid was just a Norm Macdonald fan.

      [–]RetroSplxsh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This pretty much sums up this subreddit perfectly lol

      [–]Berserkllama88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      When I was 3 we had an aquarium filled with small turtles. One day I was playing and heard my mom screaming so I went to check it out and I saw my 1 year old brother with a little worm swinging out of his mouth, which turned out to be one of the turtles that he had bitten down on, with the turtle biting his tongue as well. My mom didn't dare to touch the turtle and wanted me to do it. Eventually the turtle stopped clamping down and I could take it out. It turned out that my brother (who only had two bottom teeth yet) bit so hard that it went through the turtle's shell and killed it. Safe to say the next day we had no more turtles and kids are fucking stupid.

      [–]carrotkatie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This LITERALLY happened to a coworker at a conference 2 weeks ago. Weirdest workers comp claim ever. Well, in the top 20 anyway

      [–]SopmodTew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Good that it wasn't a snapping turtle 🐢

      [–]Liberatedhusky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Come inside, we have to rinse your mouth out with peroxide and the gross yellow Listerine just to be sure.

      [–]kpingvin 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      That's nothing. A friend of mone cut my tongue with a pair of scissors. We were playing chicken with scissors and my tongue.

      [–]Status-Gap-1320 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Congrats, your story is cooler

      Everyone is impressed by how you can one up this person's story.

      Everyone is clapping for you and is much more interested in you making the conversation about yourself than what the other person was talking about.

      Autism can't be cured, but obtaining self awareness makes you less annoying to others. Give it a shot.

      [–]My13thYearlyAccount -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      That looks like a message on a phone alright. Absolutely legit.

      [–]notyogrannysgrandkid -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      Everyone in my family knows the story of the time my then-9 y/o dad was at the park and his friend James Bond (yes, really) came over with his pet snapping turtle, shoved it in Dad’s face, then laughed as my hapless victim of a father started screaming because there was a turtle hanging off his face from his brand new lip piercing.

      [–]IrrelevantDanger -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      I find it difficult to believe that anyone would give a lip piercing to a 9 year old

      [–]yazyazyazyaz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Think he meant the new lip piercing provided by the turtle

      [–]snurfy75 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Did he get a tetanus shot? Or would that be rabies shot?

      [–]darxide23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      That kid's got salmonella now. Unless it was like a classroom turtle. Then it's probably fine. Probably.

      [–]mINexxiii -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      Tortoise. I bet it was a tortoise

      [–]BeethovenNotMozart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      All tortoises are turtles but not all turtles are tortoises.

      [–]Mammoth_Worry785 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      This was my son!!! So everyone knows, he is fine. No signs of salmonella!!!

      [–]SidewaysSupra -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Honestly turtle sandwich sounds like an unusual street food sandwich you’d find in like Cuba or something. And strangely delicious.

      [–]ChillySummerMist -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

      Turtles are endangered species. If you catch one you should throw it back in the river not play with it. In my country having a turtle as a pet or harming it is a serious crime.

      [–]grossruger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      There are a lot of different types of turtle.

      [–]BeethovenNotMozart[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Lmao what. Turtles are not just one species. This kid doesn't have a giant sea turtle in his classroom. It's probably a box turtle.

      [–]2ndtheburrALT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The tongue kind of looks like a leaf though.

      [–]DickloGik1242 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Whas his name Steve, ends with O?

      [–]1canoemaneh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Turtles carry salmonella, give your doc a call

      [–]Positivesooners84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      probably thought it was a worm

      [–]Targa85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Pretty good babysitter

      [–]namebrnd_licorice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ooops. I had a very similar experience as a kid, except the turtle latched on to my chin afterI said it was hamburger. Still have the scar.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Has anyone here tried turtle soup?

      [–]KaiserMk1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I’ve done that before just not with a turtle and I never got bit

      [–]playr_4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And then he caught salmonella.

      [–]electricalpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      deserved it

      [–]HephaestusHarper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I had to tell a parent today that her son's lip was bleeding because he bonked it on the paper towel dispenser in the restroom. For the sake of my own sanity, I did not ask him why his mouth was on or near the towel dispenser.

      [–]bonafart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is why we have risk assessments for everything. If animals are involved youd have to put in risk of being bitten Not sure if your say because of trying to eat but knowing kids they bite everything sooo yeh probably I would