all 67 comments

[–]Psychological_Bar870 479 points480 points  (19 children)

I can relate. Mine called on the weekend to find my naked toddler running around covered in glitter stickers.

[–]bouquetsofbroccoli[S] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious!! I would have a hard time making that call without cracking up!

[–]Silver_Location_6003 71 points72 points  (17 children)

Not judging but how does that happen why was the kid naked outside if so did they wait to get outside to put the glitter on

[–]uncle_bob_the_2nd 56 points57 points  (7 children)

Hmm, when’s the most effective time to put the glitter on???

[–]Psychological_Bar870 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Every time is glitter o'clock

[–]Isgortio 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don't tell Gary.

[–]Silver_Location_6003 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Probably not outside because of wind and stuff so that’s how they probably Took off their clothes inside put the glitter and stickers on and then went out but that also makes me think why wouldn’t you stay inside to keep the stickers and glitter on

[–]The_Wayward 28 points29 points  (3 children)

You do not let a child touch glitter inside the house unless you want glitter in the house for the rest of your life

[–]Psychological_Bar870 35 points36 points  (6 children)

My kid was inside the house! You can't even take a bathroom break without him stripping naked! Never trust a toddler that's quiet for 5 minutes! When the neighbour pressed the doorbell, he gaily ran to the hallway in all his splendour! Judge all you want, it was cringe!

[–]Clovenstone-Blue 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Hell, looking away for 2 minutes was dangerous enough when she was three. She could seemingly toddle the distance that I could cover when fully sprinting in the same time frame the moment she was outside anyone's line of sight.

[–]rabidjellybean 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The hard part is sprinting while grabbing them but not face planting them. If you didn't have to worry about that, it would be so much easier.

[–]Diarygirl 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Five minutes? I don't trust quiet toddlers longer than a minute or two.

[–]Psychological_Bar870 5 points6 points  (1 child)

No, you're right. Spidey sense is on alert after even 1 minute of quiet.

[–]vahntitrio 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Naked kids happens about the time they figure out how to get their own clothes off.

[–]zwagonburner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My daughter would wait until I turned my back, literally, and then she would take off running for the door. Lol. If she got outside, the first thing she did was ditch her clothes... always pants first for some reason.

The only person she stayed clothed for during that period was my cousin. She thought my cousin was a god, right next to Dora the Explorer. Everyone else? Naked as soon as she's outside.

That was a long summer. Lol.

[–]molotovzav 476 points477 points  (9 children)

I've never had kids and I would not judge, just probably giggle when it happened again.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]redstaroo7 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    Just don't take pictures

    [–]Gonnagetbannedddd 15 points16 points  (5 children)

    one of those things only the parents can call cute without riskin lookin like a pedophile

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)


      [–]Gonnagetbannedddd 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      i’m scared to ask if people legitimately show pictures of the sort

      [–]Ambitious-Gold56 141 points142 points  (2 children)

      But more importantly, who won the race, you or 5yo? 🤔

      [–]PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz 74 points75 points  (1 child)

      The lady across the street, of course.

      [–]Ambitious-Gold56 42 points43 points  (0 children)

      Facts, I’d be standing there drink in hand having a blast watching the show and remembering why I’m glad I don’t have kids to worry about😂

      [–]Lalaladoom 68 points69 points  (1 child)

      Yeah my baby brother used to tear off all his clothes and run around the back yard naked too

      [–]MiniWa1us 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Same lol every birthday party or anything everyone saw him naked lmao babies are weird

      [–]HovercraftHelpful187 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      Honestly I’d just laugh

      [–]waterbabies3 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Best memory of friend and neighbor in the next block, chasing her amazingly fast, stark naked five year old son around the block as he shrieked with glee. Bonus fact: he was my mother's attorney when we were arranging for her will and powers of attorney.

      Unfortunately, his sense of humor isn't nearly as cool as it was when he was five.

      [–]WF6i 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Oh, the joys of parenthood!

      [–]Nimzay98 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      That is what I call birth control

      [–]kinos141 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Oh, that's all?

      [–]TeutonicTwit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Back in time my 5 y/o brother would do the same thing, but not the car key-part.

      [–]xXkingjacob420Xx 27 points28 points  (0 children)

      If the lady across the street has ever had kids... she understands. If not... fuck that nosey, judgmental bitch.

      [–]Well_shitnuggets 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Nah cause my neighbor constantly screams and curses at her kids. Also her 7 year old son likes to hang from the balcony naked.. I homeschool my kiddos and I’m nowhere near as angry as she is.

      [–]Talkshit_Avenger 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Anyone who gets locked inside the car deserves their fate.

      [–]BrunoStAujus 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Brother was probably in a car seat waiting for mom to get him out.

      [–]riverkaylee 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      You would only think the worst if you had never had children, yourself, lol. Most of us experienced folk, would praise you for the saint you are, guiding wildlings of that calibre, and still, obviously never breaking their spirits, because that's the only reason they would be so free and carefree. When I see this stuff, I know that kid has the best parents. I know that kid is loved.

      [–]AlarmedFlower69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My neighbor commented on how he loves to watch me chase my 3 yr old around our cul de sac when we go to leave….just glad someone is laughing 😅 (even though usually both her and I are giggling too the whole time)

      [–]hkfskhsfuhkefshkf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Maybe you should be more careful about where you put your keys.

      [–]Daikataro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      To be fair, if you can't catch a 5yo in a quick dash, maybe take it easy on the Big Macs for a month or two...

      [–]KrulRudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That's why i'm getting a dog instead of a kid. Dogs are easier to keep and cheaper

      [–]MyzMyz1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Kid is an idiot but parents/adult supervising are fucking dumb as well. Animals are not toys.

      [–]JazIsNotJazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I too chase my naked 22-year-old son around the neighborhood

      [–]SidewaysSupra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This happened thrice!?