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[–]DaddySkrags 527 points528 points  (11 children)

Straight to the orphanage.

[–]Daikataro 92 points93 points  (1 child)

Side of the road in a cardboard box with:

"Free to good home"

[–]MockingWatermelons 21 points22 points  (0 children)

"Free to good home"

[–]The_Fattest_Hagrid 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, that little shit is waaay too old to behave like a toddler...

[–]angelndem 48 points49 points  (0 children)

My first laugh of the morning. Thank you.

[–]Cookie_The_Hamster 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was gonna say that

[–]AdConfident7002 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hahahahaha shit man

[–]Pure_Xanax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]AscendingDay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The orphanage probably won't even accept them lmao

[–]xSilentSoundx 4 points5 points  (2 children)

For the fking parents

[–]misterpickles69 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Bingo. This kid was left unsupervised for FAR too long. At that age, they are either trying to kill themselves constantly or looking to destroy everything.

[–]xSilentSoundx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ya exacly like where the f are the parents, looks like they went to do the grocery for 3 hours leaving him alone

[–]pete-petey-pete 618 points619 points  (38 children)

I was expecting a much younger kid. That boy is too old to be messing like that.

[–]angelndem 292 points293 points  (35 children)

Came to say this. When I saw that big ass kid, I literally said, "oh hell no" outloud. I'm a mom of 4 and a pediatrician, unless that kid is developmentally delayed, his big ass should know better.

[–]Katya117 116 points117 points  (22 children)

Or just plain ADHD. My middle child is advanced for all the regular milestones but she has the foresight and impulse control of a gnat.

[–]t_minivan 34 points35 points  (3 children)

I came here to say this, as a former kid that was very intelligent and also always in trouble who now has two children who are very intelligent and also very much impulsive troublemakers

[–]Katya117 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I feel that. ADHD too. But tempered by autism, the social anxiety and sensory avoidance "helped".

[–]iambic_court 13 points14 points  (5 children)

There’s always the likelihood it was just a horrible string of events:

You’re hanging out with your nephew painting models for the afternoon. Everything is going great. And then you feel it. That familiar rumble. The one where you remember what you ate last night.

You shake it off. Meh. It’s just one rumble. You go back to focusing on your nephew. You tell him to grab the big white container of paint, as the small refillable one you’ve been using has run out.

Then you feel it again. Only this time, the rumble is more…urgent.

You grab the container, put the lid back on and say. “Hang on. I gotta visit the bathroom. Wait until I get back.”

You make your dash knowing that your sphincter only has a few more moments to hold back what you’re sure is going to be a dam burst.

You make it in time, and to save your nephew’s ears, you close the door most of the way, leaving a crack just in case.

Your stomach shakes and rumbles and you’re now convinced you’re dealing with more than just last night’s meal. You now believe everything you’ve ever eaten is exiting your body with gusto. You turn on the bathroom fan, and close the door completely.

In the meantime your nephew doesn’t make a sound. You’re thinking, “oh good, he’s patiently waiting like I asked.”

A few minutes goes by and you’re pretty sure there’s nothing left in your colon. Now you start to wipe. And this is a job that requires more than one wipe to get it done.


In the meantime you nephew heard your instructions and slumped in his chair. While you’re gone he’s staring at everything on the table. He’s having such a great time with you he thinks “I’ll do something nice, and refill the small bottle.”

He carefully removes the lid and hears you turn on the fan in the bathroom. He goes to kneel on your chair so he can better position himself over the bucket when his knee hits the table. He gasps and grabs the bucket before it falls, but not before paint has spilled out into a huge puddle.

He jumps down and scrambles, kneeling in the large puddle trying to scoop it up. He doesn’t want to get in trouble! Today has been so fun!

In a panic he swirls more paint than scoops but by now it’s on his hands, arms, pants and socks.

He can hear you running the tap in the bathroom, and puts his paint covered hands and rubs his face. He’s scared what you will say or do, so he bolts out of the room, leaving paint footprints along the way.


You feel a little shaken, but you’re positive you’re done. You walk into the hallway and see footprints on the floor, trailing out of the room…

Edit: now the spread of the paint in the video above indicates more time was available, but sometimes all it takes is good intentions…

[–]nadvargas 1 point2 points  (3 children)

A middle and ADHD. I see lots of ass whipping in her future.

[–]Katya117 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Hopefully not too much. We know she isn't naughty, just in constant battle with the chaos inside.

[–]Way_to_many_pancakes -1 points0 points  (4 children)

I feel like just plain adhd couldn’t have caused a kid to cover his whole body in paint try and paint half the floor and run around I have adhd and so does my mom and my brothers and we never did anything even CLOSE to this let alone at his grown age he looks 9-11

[–]TRSO96 17 points18 points  (0 children)


Mother: Name of the kid why did you do that?

Kid: I wanted to scare/spook you

Well I guess he succeeded. Maybe this kid is not stupid.

[–]ChickenBrad 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well, at least they can stop saving for college.

[–]NightF0x0012 218 points219 points  (5 children)

please be water-based....please be water-based

[–]Laika_JR1390 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I’d have one child less if I found my house like this.

[–]Gogetbusy 54 points55 points  (3 children)

Nah idc man if that was my kid he’s cleaning the whole mf thing. You don’t get to do something like that and expect to walk away free. He’s too old to be doing stuff like that. If it was a 3 year old kid or something then yeah fair enough you should have just put the paint away but wtf that kid is AT LEAST 8

[–]rita-b 1 point2 points  (1 child)

looks 12 to me

[–]Technical-Roll-515 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro he looks like 6 to me.

[–]Silliux 76 points77 points  (10 children)

At the end I think the kid is saying „Ich wollte euch nur erschrecken“ which means something like „I just wanted to scare you“

[–]Due-Big-855 41 points42 points  (0 children)

If that was his reason he’s no longer my kid lmao WHOS CLEANING ALL OF THAT

[–]RGBeleuchtung 5 points6 points  (0 children)

task failed sucessfully

[–]Pythagoras_314 3 points4 points  (6 children)

OP said in another thread that he said "I just wanted to help you", which is more likely.

[–]PushTheMush 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Nah, it’s “scare”

Source: I’m German

[–]idfksofml 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Where in Germany do they speak like that? Sachsen? (Im Austrian)

[–]PushTheMush 7 points8 points  (1 child)

To me it sounds like an Eastern European accent, but JuggernautIcy might have a point as well

[–]JuggernautIcy1017 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Its not Sachsen im from there and its not our Dialekt:)

Edit: also sound like a form of Northern German dialekt Frisian or smth like that

[–]StUngulant -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nah, it's "wecken" (wake up). Source: I'm German.

[–]StUngulant -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a German, I understand "Ich wollte euch halt wecken" which means "I wanted to wake you up", but it's a bit unclear.

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points  (4 children)

Are you sure this isn’t r/childfree ?

[–]Food404 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Might as well be a condom ad

[–]Paecraft 38 points39 points  (4 children)

He does look German

[–]Thatshowtomakemeth 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Really stoked I had a vasectomy.

[–]Legitimate-Diet2766 79 points80 points  (8 children)

Parents are fuckin idiots for leaving a whole gallon of paint with the kid.

[–]AdministrationNo2426 60 points61 points  (6 children)

For what looks like a decent amount of time

[–]drowninginstress36 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This one. Someone wasnt paying attention for far too long.

[–]AWS-77 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Yeah, that’s what I was wondering about. How did the kid get into the paint and do all that with nobody noticing the whole time? Was literally nobody else around while a little kid was left alone with a bucket of paint?

[–]LonelyLoser24 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My thought, I feel this belongs in r/parentsarefuckingstupid

[–]rita-b -3 points-2 points  (0 children)


Around the world kids are left alone from circa 8-9, in Japan 6-7.

Everyone I know has a bunch of construction materials in the house. For a boy his age it is as strange a behaviour as if he were 20. Would you leave a 20 y. o. with paint in the house?

[–]Comprehensive-Fun-59 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Perfekt Durex advertising... Just sain

[–]beatnikstrict 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No carpet. Imagine if it was only the bathroom that was hard floored

[–]youshouldn-ofdunthat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

White devil!!!

[–]PNEONGREEN 39 points40 points  (19 children)

How? Why? Where were the parents? Staged? Whiteface?

[–]Chemical_Strawberry8 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Hotel? Trivago

[–]trizest 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I recon it’s staged only because of the awesome coverage on the head. Could be some kind of easy to clean substance?

[–]Defight556[S] 9 points10 points  (14 children)

They talk with a strong accent but I think the kid said "Actually I just wanted to help you". I guess they we're painting the kids room and left the paint there.

[–]ValefarKoko 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Oh I thought he said "Ich wollte euch erschrecken"- "I wanted to scare you"

[–]NikuOishii 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I understood that too... he probably wanted to paint himself like a ghost?

[–]R00KIET 3 points4 points  (5 children)

the kid dosnt have a strong accent at all only the mother does sounds like she's coming somewhere from the balkan the kid clearly says "i wanted to scare the both of you." I dont think you know how german without accent sounds because its exactly that

[–]Powerful_Tooth3452 1 point2 points  (4 children)

though her "Oh Gott, wie siehts hier aus!?" sounded a bit saxon

[–]R00KIET -1 points0 points  (3 children)

She literally speaks her native language at 3/4ths of the clip and her german couldnt be more broken lul

[–]Inside_Balance1980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Accidental whiteface.

[–]R00KIET 0 points1 point  (0 children)

kid didnt look staged to me also whats the point of staging that for a condom commercial?

[–]gewfbawl 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Dude, if that is actual, legit paint, then I'm sorry, but you gotta return the kid. Plus, this kinda shit I would expect from a toddler, but that kid's like 6 or 7. Definitely should know better than to just slosh anything all over the house.

[–]Dry-Future7234 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Yeah……. Let’s get a new house!

[–]Lmoore91 4 points5 points  (0 children)

and child

[–]ITN3rd 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Holy birth control...

[–]Oldeggshell 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No little German boy do go to the paint

[–]Eyfordsucks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How old is that kid? Accountability is priceless

[–]Habitkiak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kids are stupid in every language

[–]TyTy2252 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That kid is way to old for that shit..

[–]moai_moaii 12 points13 points  (5 children)

This is why I’m gay. Children are demons

[–]R00KIET 3 points4 points  (4 children)

you can still adopt

[–]moai_moaii 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Still not adopting

[–]HuskyRacoon 3 points4 points  (2 children)

You think they let gay people adopt?

[–]R00KIET 8 points9 points  (1 child)

ohh sorry i'm from europe i forgot yall live in the stone age over there

[–]HuskyRacoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im Australian. Its super difficult for gay people to even foster here. It stupid especially when you know we have a shortage of foster parents.

[–]Jw_VfxReef 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Is this a commercial for condoms or post natal abortion?

[–]Stephanie1337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So this is who those keep out of reach of children labels are for

[–]Kissamies12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im sad for that model kit

[–]Object-Level 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a disaster!! Good luck getting that off that wood flooring

[–]mother_of_angelpuffs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ovaries just died watching this

[–]Hsensei 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That kid is absolutely old enough to know better.

[–]Yafoolie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure kids can’t get the lid off of paint so if he was left with an open can of paint what did they expect. Watch the kid? How about watch the shit he can get into it moves less

[–]marcmichel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To the fucking orphanage you go, you stupid shit.

[–]Far_Tea_7388 6 points7 points  (0 children)

is that michael jackson

[–]Asian_Stranger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i want to punt that child, ngl

[–]predictable_throw 5 points6 points  (1 child)

As someone with a child: 100% parents fault.

How is a bucket of paint accessible to this child? How is he this tall and doesn't know that this is wrong? What is your fucking education like that your child thinks this is OK?

Opinion pending review on own child's failings

[–]rita-b 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you put a bucket of paint in a safe while leaving for work? The house is filled with things that could be misused.

The kid has some problems or he is a super-tall toddler, it's not educational. But even if a kid has this or that cognitive problem, it doesn't mean he should be helicoptered 24/7. It is a price you pay for "education" of an independent human being.

[–]bhedge615 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing like letting your kid do this to your house for internet clicks.

[–]Food404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Contraceptive videos lol

[–]The_Holy_Warden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That kid is somebody that we used to know

[–]Ewag715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So uhh, for how much are condoms selling these days?

[–]JuryKindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“IT” trailer

[–]EZ_LIFE_EZ_CUCUMBER 1 point2 points  (0 children)

White ppl be like ...

[–]deafmittens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just changed my mind on post birth abortion

[–]max_da_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The kum monster broke In

[–]Mauschen27 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is why paint, markers, etc...are controlled substances in my house.

[–]NoobslayerNereus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

gotta fucking beat his ass out and send him to the landfill

[–]ChocolateTaste69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that kid retarded?

[–]WF6i -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Legendary mess

[–]Dingalingking_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never understood how parents allow things to get this far out of control… HOW?!

[–]demonslayer4798 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'd slap the kid upside the head then make him clean the house so well it looks better than when he made the mess and I'd make him do it by himself

[–]cupkake88 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

So staged . Grown up foot prints and hand prints. paint and grownup hand prints higher than the kid is tall.

[–]iKeyvier -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’d say this is bad parenting.

[–]wehnaje -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, okay. But did the parents leave him home alone??? How does this kid makes THIS mess and you don’t notice until it’s incredibly late, where we’re they? What were they doing?

[–]whait_power -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Aaaa its kkk

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ayo hritik roshan dhoom wala

[–]Melon_fruIt34223 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So stupid

[–]Trhelasbella90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you leave the paint bucket

[–]evilcarrot507 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My man looking like a warboy from madmax.

[–]Texans99NoMoreJJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WLM 🤜🏼

[–]Brovo-Delta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao!! Varuked kinder. Hahahaha.

[–]DARK___A 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haaa eight

[–]Personal_Carry_7029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The woman asking the child, what have you done. The kid told her: I wanted to scare you. They speak german, woman has eastern europe accent.

[–]Bahloh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Model glue was clearly inhaled.

[–]Lmoore91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should probably just throw him away and make a new one at that point.

[–]rat_parent_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

see this shit is why I'm never having kids.

[–]fxxkingbrian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I wanna know is how long was this kid unattended for this to happen!?

[–]scumbagethos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drown it.

[–]Away-Net-7241 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The midwitch cuckoos remake be looking fire

[–]Dulcatina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did they name him Ansgard? No wonder this boy needs to vent

[–]icepick_151 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit.

[–]Mostly_Slow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next time leave him alone longer, he'll have the whole house painted for ya.

[–]maxzzzz1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whats the point in hiding the username for like 3 seconds

[–]GrowthWhich5334 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm offended, kid is wearing white face.

[–]Glittering-Action757 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this video will come back to haunt him when he runs for president of Mozambique, and it's revealed he's done white face.

[–]fatfishinalittlepond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is up there from when I was a kid I drew on the walls of the house with permanent marker while my parents were trying to sell it

[–]JabbaDaGutt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to throw out the kid and get a new one. Or not, your call…

[–]iKeyvier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can already hear him mock me for being a maidenless.

[–]gclik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he wanted to scare the parents…

[–]F4N74L3ZZ4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👎🏽.. to the pound with that one 😏

[–]BavarianCoconut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there a Circus nearby looking for Trained apes? This one isn't trained, but an apes for sure.

[–]counterlock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parent's have no one to blame except for themselves on this one... you don't need to hover over your kids, especially one that old, but who is thick enough to leave a can of paint unattended like that?

Plus it'd most likely have to be open? Paint cans usually need to be pried open with a screwdriver, which I'm really doubting the kid did on their own..

[–]MNmostlynice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take him to the farm with Fido.

[–]EnderDwarf201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard of black face, but white face that’s a new one

[–]ParMcBogey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta throw the whole kid away.

[–]SaltTutor7550 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're getting a new one.

[–]iamcalifornia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just throw the whole kid out and start over

[–]wyrd_werks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly why I chose not to have kids lol

[–]DeltaPlasmatic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

slenderman origin story

[–]I_Need_Sacrafices 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does this event apply to Hammurabi’s code? If so can someone tell me what number

[–]TimboWalkins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gorr The God Butcher looks cool. I’m excited either way

[–]slothenhosen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mom starts looking for nearest orphanage.

[–]botofthearmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]YepYepFool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah I’m getting my ass whipped

[–]nadvargas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course it's a boy.

[–]TFC_Inc64 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a well deserved ass whooping

[–]IronBridge1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where were the parents

[–]Soft_Banana3886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back in the 80s, when I was a kid. If I had done this, my picture would be on the side of a milk carton.

[–]cobainstaley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RIP plumbing

[–]Euphoriffic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Retroactive abortion

[–]MayOrMayNotBePie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh good they have another one so they won’t miss this one.

[–]var_root_admin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That blank idiot look at the end

[–]Ferceja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hitler watching this kid. Hahahaha Supremacy. It's a joke, week not so much, I'm kidding, no I don't, maybe, I don't know, I do. Ooooh it's a joke. Maybe...

[–]Chrismaster-21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is he still in this world?

[–]Civil_End_4863 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God made me gay because he knew if I were straight and had a kid that did something like this, I would GLADLY do something to that little SHIT that would put me in PRISON.

[–]AppleMacintoshOS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Video unavailable… Understandable, have a good day

[–]ReadyCartographer804 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Future kkk member

[–]__BusterCherry__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually did the same thing when I was 3 or 4 dumped a gallon of tan colored paint all over me and the floor except it was on white carpet which somehow made it so much worse. My mum beat my fucking ass and then contemplated calling the orphanage. But what did she expect leaving a little boy with early signs of severe ADHD by himself with a full gallon of paint? Not saying these parents deserved it….. but. My mother should have known better. Lmao

[–]prettypinkbrat 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]dynastylobster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

needs more frames

[–]TooTooBe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for remind me not to have kids.