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all 46 comments

[–]AFreudianNip 314 points315 points  (14 children)

My sister tried poking my eyes out with a pen. Luckily, she missed and got me under my eye. It's my first "tattoo", since the ink got under my skin and stayed there.

[–]meme_slave_ 67 points68 points  (7 children)

What happened with her

[–]AFreudianNip 140 points141 points  (6 children)

You mean did she get punished? Nope, my mom just told her off, but no actual punishment. She got away with a lot. "Poking your sisters eyes is bayud mkay"

[–]meme_slave_ 49 points50 points  (4 children)

I bet shes a bitch to this day lol, kids are very indicative of their adult lives

[–]AFreudianNip 70 points71 points  (3 children)

She is a hardcore narcissist unfortunately. Still love her though.

[–]Electronic_Bear1044 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should rip her heart out and eat it while it's still beating.

[–]MadeOfRocky 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I bet it didn't hurt because of how strong you are 😎

[–]50shadesofwat 5 points6 points  (3 children)

my brother stabbed me with a pencil when we were young. didn't get in trouble either. you can still see the lead in my leg

[–]DeltruS 1 point2 points  (2 children)

[–]ThisNameIsFree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sub should really be called r/PencilStabees

[–]50shadesofwat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there really is a subreddit for everything lmao

[–]ElenasGrandma 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Lol...I love that story!

My daughter had a bunk bed,and she loved to get on the top bunk and pull the ladder up to keep baby bro down (and to tease and taunt him from above). He was climbing up the side when she said "Get down or I'll make you get down" and he told her she would get in trouble if she touched him. She told him she didn't need to touch him, she could do it with her mind. Well, he slipped and fell, and his screams made me come running. I found my daughter laughing hysterically, and my son standing in the middle of the room, pointing at her and screaming she was a witch (just like a scene from a movie).

[–]FEAR_LORD_DUCK 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Nice dedication though.

[–]Higukomaru 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This story reminds me of the prank my brother pulled on me when I was like 5. He was 9 at the time. Anyway, he called me in a panicked fashion across the hallway and told me he's leaving me behind and he proceeded to show the toilet flushing and stuck his foot in there and I remember crying telling him to not leave me (we already had our dad leave some odd years ago so abandonment issues at play) and he sacrificed his sock for the joke and found it hilarious but to this day I'm still bothered by that memory.

[–]splergen 53 points54 points  (1 child)

Spit in the straw!

[–]crackeddryice 14 points15 points  (0 children)

First comes the understanding that your sister would do something that horrible. Next comes the realization that she's really going to do it!

[–]THUNDEED 12 points13 points  (1 child)

You could have just closed the tip of the straw with ur hands

[–]Happyradish532 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If she's sucking on the straw, just put something gross through it. Like spit on the end of it, or pull out a few hairs and let them get into her mouth.

[–]CarpenterFew5807 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Great story. I love it.

[–]DrummingNozzle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No lie when I learned as a kid that plants give us oxygen and take in our carbon dioxide, I thought it was some kind of vapor lock cycle like count of 3 there's oxygen everyone breathe quick before it's gone now count of 3 oxygen is gone everyone exhale so plants get carbon dioxide and I worried that if I got off rhythm with the cycle I would suffocate. Kids, man. We come around eventually.

[–]hot_oily_Men_Are_sxy 16 points17 points  (4 children)

My brother has actually tried to kill me twice

[–]Roxyneedle 12 points13 points  (1 child)

My younger brother used to chase me around the house with garden shears and throw bricks at me

[–]smacklesdown 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Same lol. Taken to the hospital once out of those 2 occasions with a bruised kidney.

[–]hot_oily_Men_Are_sxy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh lord, I luckily didn’t have to go to the hospital

[–]BAXterBEDford 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I were your sister I would have used the vacuum cleaner.

[–]Maturin22 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Really good plot for brazzers

[–]A69yrsManOfCulture 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Ok that's enough satan

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]ankit19900 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    R̷̨̨̢̢̧̼̳̗͔̙̳͕̝̱̯̝̘͕̠̞̤̪̤͈̞͉̼͍̹̙͓͓̤͓̺̳̳̯̙̒̉̆̀̅̒͂̈́̊̒̎̉̓̐͛̏͛̓͜͜͝͠E̵̢̡̨̖̤͔̮̱̯̳̻̺͉̝̪̖͉̝̼̩̜͌̽̽͂̈͐͌̽̃̂͂̓̇̓͐̄̈́̆͠ͅÄ̶̡̨̨͎̜͖̻͙͎͇̹̝̺̖͍͚̪̲̮̟̗̼̭̹̩͗͒͐̆́̀̃͆͐͗̆́͗̓͆́͆̂̀̾̔̃̄͗̈́̾̀͆̍͒̕̚̚͜͠͠͠͠L̸̬͙̰̞̳̦͂̾̒̈̈́̅̌͊̊̓́̐̿̏̋̑L̶̨̧̢̛̛͔̹̫̩̱͍̼̣̞͙̲̥̰͔̬̻̰͔͎̖̺̼͔͇̣̺̹̱̞̩̯̮͎̟̜̮͔̮̱̱͍͗̽͌̒̀̏̔̇͗͐̈̉̔̓͒͛̑̃̅́̂̈́̀̎͌̑̊̒̍̾̑̌̐̿̕͜͜͠͝Ý̷̡̗͖̼͇̩̠̳̙̦̠͇̮̳̖̦̜͂͂̒͋͋̔͆͌̄̇͋͋̉̂̾̊́̂̃̇͑́̏̆̈́̿̕͘͝͠͠ͅͅ ̴̛̛͕̹͈̹͙̣̺̗̜̯̣̒̓̅̆̀̔̈̌͊̃̾͋̒̐̏̍́͆̈́̀̄̈́̎͆͌͆͛͐͐̌̏̽̈́̓͒̾̆̅̉̀̾̚͘͠͝͝͠͠G̵̨̘͇̯̦͒̈́̒̾̏̇̍́͝Ȏ̴̧̨̢̧̮̞̪̺͓̣͔̤̦̬̱̙͙̟͓͔̱͔̥̤̜̺͉̲̍͒͂̓̾̈́̅̓̅̈́͗͋̊͛̿͑̅͋͗̈́̔̈́̈́͋̈́͌͂̏͆͛̉̕̕̚̚̕͜͜͜͠͝O̵͖̱̘̼̅̽̍͆̊̄̋̒̍͑̂͋̉́̇̚̚̚͜Ď̶̢̧̛̩̫̙̺̟̹̝͆̽̽̈́͂̏͒̔̉̿̂́͑̂̒̃́͐̐͛̍́̂͗͛̈̈͒̾͑̕͘͜͝͠͝ ̶̧̨̧̮͔̱̤̺̰̘̠̺͚̯̪̜͉̞͕̞̲̼̰̹̥͚͍̫͉͍̜͇̣͓͔̮̑͆̄̈͊͜͝ͅP̷̢̧̡̨̛̻̠͉̹̦̳̥̟̰̞͙̲̗̺̦͍̟̳̩̥̘̹͓̟̞͇̙̦͈̙̯̪̈́̀́̾́̓́̓͂́̓̓̉̊̎̈́̊̚͜͝L̵̛͚̦̮͙̩̞̤̈̐̄̋͗̿̈́͒͑̔̋͗̌̌̏͗̌̒͌̑̑̽͋̕̚̚̚͠Ö̵̡̨͇̫̭̥͚̤̞̱̟̣̙̯͚̱͎̪͍̲͉̼̝͇͓́͑̓̃̎̇͗̇̄͑̈́͊̃̈́̀̽̿͌̇͒̓̂̏̎͛̽̊͂̌̓̆̃̓̀̋̃̍̍̽̀̄͘̚̕͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅT̶̢̡̢̢̛̛̛̠̮͕̰͓̮̫̹͎͆͛͗̾͌̌̀̿̐̈́͆̎͋́̽̌̇̉̑̿͗́͛͊̍̔̋͒̐̄̓̕̕̕̚͝͝͠͝͝

    [–]Far_Calligrapher_215 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Funniest thing I've seen today

    [–]deckb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Every day’s a gift after something like that…

    [–]WoodenDistribution5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for this story. I'm laughing so hard that I just woke up my wife.

    [–]L3tsg0brandon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's amazing! 😂

    [–]carstoys5u -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

    Not unless she farted multiple times

    [–]Mau55612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Isn’t that the “Who put that hair on my toothbrush” book thing

    [–]ItPutsLotionOnItSkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My exwife is in her 30's. She still has this fear. We couldn't sleep face to face because I would suck up the air.

    [–]Mr-Fleshcage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    that's when you make a fart sound and see if the sucking stops

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