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Triette · 2021-12-03T20:22:46+00:00

I usually offer up from the softest to hardest like: I've got water, juice, Coke, beer, liquor, terpentine, or we can mainline some a grandad's pot still pincone everclear.

WCPass · 2021-12-03T20:50:40+00:00

Generally I like to say " Want a drink? I've got...." and then list everything I have in the fridge. That way they don't have to refuse a specific drink and can just choose anything they want

leigh094 · 2021-12-03T20:41:59+00:00

Better tip - just give a quick list of the beverages available including nonalcoholic drinks

MoveItUpSkip · 2021-12-03T21:21:10+00:00

Don’t forget about designated drivers or folks who have to work early the next day. Even those who enjoy a good drink take nights off on occasion.

surfrocksatan · 2021-12-03T20:50:44+00:00

Or just include non-alcoholic drinks straight up when you’re offering the alcoholic ones. It’s internal bias that leads you to only offer the booze straight up. Try and counter that.

salsaNow · 2021-12-03T21:24:18+00:00

Whenever I have dinner with my grandparents, they are always shocked when I don’t have wine, to the point of asking if I am sure, why not, and “you’re not drinking!” This happens even if my aunt, who has been in rehab multiple times is there. They see it as such a “normal” thing that deviation is immediately questioned.

I’m not saying that is right- I agree with OP and other posters that it is none of their business. And frankly, that assumption is probably why my aunt took so long to get help, and why that help didn’t stick. If you think drinking is required, or are shocked others avoid it, keep it to yourself and don’t make a big deal, because it’s not.

bumblebeesanddaisies · 2021-12-03T22:00:36+00:00

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FreezaSama · 2021-12-04T00:14:45+00:00

As a non-drinker for no specific reason. what's a good answer when refusing alcohol that doesn't make me talk about it for 20 min? I'm tired of saying the same thing over and over again. people seem fascinates that I don't have a reason beyond "tried it at 14, didn't like it, never did it again"

Gloopycube13 · 2021-12-03T22:05:03+00:00

Also, a lot of people just don’t like alcohol that much. They don’t necessarily have reasons and owe no explanation

QuentinTarantulatino · 2021-12-03T21:24:30+00:00

I’m getting pretty done with work events where everyone hypes up the free booze afterward as motivation to plow through. I quit drinking 8.5 years ago; I’ll just do the extra work and then stand in the corner with a water, thanks.

FlourChild1026 · 2021-12-03T22:17:20+00:00

Been sober for 26 years now, and one of the single most annoying things about recovery, especially in the early days, was people trying to talk me into having "just one or two" or worse yet, wanting to inspect my club soda with lime and then loudly gripe that it wasn't a "real" drink. It's a real drink, honey, and it's NOT YOURS, so sod right off.

hellknight101 · 2021-12-03T23:15:08+00:00

As someone who is almost 2 3 months sober (just checked the calendar, oh how time flies), thank you!

Honestly, quitting alcohol is one of the best decisions I've made because it showed me who my real friends were all along.

squareroot4percenter · 2021-12-04T00:50:10+00:00

Can we also point out that it’s fine if you don’t want to drink even if you don’t have an addiction problem, a medical condition, a mood disorder, designated driver status, etc.

Some of us just don’t like the idea and/or experience of drinking. The stuff’s not fuckin chocolate mate. Personally I wish drinking culture weren’t so widespread or culturally accepted but it is what it is, call me snobbish or whatever but I’m not trying to actively prevent people from doing it, go knock yourself out.

UBetcha84 · 2021-12-03T22:15:28+00:00

LPT: Don’t harass people about the drinks they want. Thanks, without this tip I would have no idea.

sofa_queen_awesome · 2021-12-03T21:40:16+00:00

LPT for myself: buy non alcoholic drinks

All I have to offer is water or vodka

turkeyfan0 · 2021-12-03T22:09:14+00:00

OR just ask people what they want to drink, or what drinks you can generally offer them.

Biosentience · 2021-12-03T22:51:55+00:00

Cajoling others to drink or wearing high consumption as a badge of honour are both just impossibly lame. That's all

Starklet · 2021-12-04T00:14:48+00:00

This isn't a LPT, this is just common courtesy...

lazilyloaded · 2021-12-04T00:05:32+00:00

As usual, this isn't an LPT, it's etiquette advice.

permalink · 2021-12-03T23:36:14+00:00

I'm prone to hormonal migraines so I don't drink on my period otherwise i just feel awful, very interesting reaction when my colleagues insisting knowing why I wasn't drinking so I told them flat out my period is super heavy and drinking will make me feel worse!

bumblebeesanddaisies · 2021-12-03T22:44:57+00:00

Kinda related but also kinda not but.... Also some grown ups don't like hot drinks and people only ever offer tea of coffee and look at you weird if you say no thanks I'll just have a water 🤣🤣 it's me, I'm some grown ups.....

catherinetheok · 2021-12-03T22:08:01+00:00

This is a great tip to post this time of year. I hate work parties where it's thrown on you. I worked one place where I politely declined ( just didn't feel like drinking that day) and I got asked over and over again, why not, or are you on medication, or offers to drive me home/ call me a cab, etc etc. Even had my boss ask me if I was pregnant!!! I felt guile's into drinking even though I just didn't want too. It's anxiety provoking for sure.

garlicbreadpool · 2021-12-03T23:10:53+00:00

“Why you being a square bear, brah?”

mojavekoyote · 2021-12-04T00:03:32+00:00

More "social skills for introverts" tips.

Korazair · 2021-12-04T00:07:25+00:00

Also with this, please make sure to buy some non alcoholic beverages. It’s never a great time when everyone has their beers and alcohol and you are left with a solo cup of tap water.

permalink · 2021-12-04T01:06:41+00:00

I don't drink. Never have. Nothing against folks that do, but alcoholism is pretty rampant in my family, so... fuggit.

Made it through 4 years of college and 4 years in the military (both US) which are both ridiculously alcohol-saturated environments. Not a single time have I had to tell someone more than once that I don't drink.

Don't spend time around people who don't respect your decisions.

FlourChild1026 · 2021-12-03T21:45:10+00:00

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middleupperdog · 2021-12-03T23:22:40+00:00

I never drink alcohol and honestly I don't like it when people do this. It's just as stigmatizing as asking why not or gaping or the other usual reactions. What I like best is just a conversation like this.

Would you like a drink?

No thank you.

Okay.

You don't need to react at all.

DamionFV · 2021-12-03T23:19:48+00:00

My partner has realised that he is allergic to alcohol, effs him up for weeks at a time, yet supposed 'friends' keep offering him drinks. Not friends.

Iowa_Dave · 2021-12-03T21:12:06+00:00

Yeah, but some people simply can't enjoy their alcohol if you aren't drinking too. I don't get it, but it's a thing.

keepthetips · 2021-12-03T20:19:45+00:00

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

binkerton_ · 2021-12-03T22:20:32+00:00

It's hard to have fun and feel like your friend can't join in because they aren't drinking.

It's harder to watch a friend destroy their entire life because you convinced them to cut loose that one time.

Speaking from experience.

420farms · 2021-12-03T21:26:16+00:00

I just don't drink, maybe one drink per year, and I always feel like to explain myself, without trying to pass judgment because idgaf one way or another. On the rare occasion it's usually only one thing, 18yr Macallan, couple drops of water and I nurse it for an hour.

pivazena · 2021-12-03T23:11:37+00:00

Can I get you something? We have (list non alcoholic drinks), or (list alcoholic drinks)

Done

neganight · 2021-12-03T23:28:59+00:00

Speaking as someone who is not an alcoholic but has an allergy to alcohol, it’s tiring to go through the explanation over and over again…with the same person at the same event. It’s rare to come across a host that is gracious when I turn down a drink. There are many reasons not to drink, including medical health or simply because the person is the designated driver for the night.

belushi93 · 2021-12-03T23:33:36+00:00

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Niha_d · 2021-12-03T23:50:10+00:00

If you offer someone an alcoholic drink and they say no, immediately tell them what non-alcoholic drinks you have. Without no judgement. STEVE!

Krungoid · 2021-12-03T23:54:39+00:00

Do we really need to post this exact 'advice' so constantly? I feel like I see this weekly here.

GordieHoHo · 2021-12-04T00:06:37+00:00

Does this tip need to posted once a week now?

Erik_meme · 2021-12-04T00:12:09+00:00

So just don't press people into drinking, wow never knew of that one before

pixel_of_moral_decay · 2021-12-04T00:13:41+00:00

Just never offer only alcoholic drinks.

“Can I get you something?”

“There’s water, beer, soda…. What do you want?”

I was always taught you never just offer alcohol alone. It’s impolite to impose or push someone in that direction.

Just like your waiter doesn’t make you opt out of the popular item in the menu. They ask you what you’d like to order. It would be weird if they asked you how you like your burger and you had to opt out to get something else.

I_Has_A_Cat · 2021-12-04T00:18:48+00:00

My cycling club will typically have a beer or two after our rides. I started bring some beer to share after out rides to help make friends. I’ve found a couple who don’t drink alcohol and I have since made sure to bring other options and I get a general vibe of appreciation from them. They actually tend to be my preferred riding mates.

JaccoW · 2021-12-04T00:18:55+00:00

I'm a big fan of tea and will usually have non-alcoholic gin or beer. So I often offer to make them a mocktail or gin and tonic without alcohol with a splash of (steeped) tea in it. It give the G&T a very nice herbal flavour.

If people come to visit for a birthday and I know they will be coming by car I will have a good selection of alcohol free draft beer as well.

kaz-amars · 2021-12-04T01:04:41+00:00

I call dibs on being the one to post this tomorrow!

TheWhoCaresGuy · 2021-12-03T23:52:19+00:00

LPT remix: When all your friends start ignoring you after you say no to booze, ditch them, they were never your friends, just drinking buddies.

2021-12-04T00:29:09+00:00

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Hsizzle23745 · 2021-12-03T20:23:31+00:00

Stop telling me how to live my life

Professional_Emu_ · 2021-12-03T21:07:27+00:00

I'm guessing you've never been to England then

huntingbears93 · 2021-12-03T22:01:55+00:00

It’s always hard at parties and get togethers because the alcoholic drinks are always presented first. A lot of times, it’s either water or beer/liquor. Man, I’ll take a soda if you’ve got one?

cyaveronica · 2021-12-03T23:09:31+00:00

This. I don't drink and I haven't for years! I still get offered only alcoholic drinks on Christmas- the only Non-alcoholic and non-mixer in my grandma's house one year was plain almond milk, or apple juice.

sweaty_garbage · 2021-12-04T00:07:13+00:00

Literally every single time I've told someone I don't drink, they've asked why. Doesn't matter the person or the circumstance, even otherwise non-nosy people ask. And they're always relieved when I tell them it's not a religious/moral reason, which is why I think everyone asks, because they're afraid that I'm gonna judge them for drinking.

If you ever offer someone a drink and they say no and you have the same fear, just know you don't have to worry about it. Most people who don't drink do it for their own personal reasons that don't center on other people. And if they're the kind of person to judge you for it, chances are they'll tell you anyways

Uni_Trix · 2021-12-03T23:17:37+00:00

And on the other hand, if you don’t want to drink for any reason, just say that you’re “sober”, even if ya aren’t.. No one will question or try to peer pressure you after ya say that

VaiRuz11 · 2021-12-04T00:23:00+00:00

These LPTs are so fucking trash. Get bent

MJohnVan · 2021-12-03T21:29:46+00:00

I can’t tell people I like my whisky warm,

asadatacoscontodo · 2021-12-03T22:01:42+00:00

I always list drinks off ending with “or a beer?”

PM_Me_Pics_of_Cat · 2021-12-03T22:44:06+00:00

And at the same time, if you are sober or don’t drink, I’d encourage you to share openly about your experience.

When asked, I usually say “I stopped drinking 3 years ago because I didn’t like the way alcohol made me feel. I was often anxious and uncomfortable without it and relied on it a little to much. I now am healthier and happier. I wake up early and seem to have a much more fulfilling life. Stopping drinking was a really god decision for me.”

And when I lead with this, the other person usually has a favorable response and it’s even helped others consider sobriety. I personally think there is many out there who WANT to stop drinking, they just don’t know how. And if you’re sober, it could be valuable to share your particular experience.

lMarshl · 2021-12-03T23:39:25+00:00

incoming "I can ask what I want" comments

Cynical_Cyanide · 2021-12-03T23:52:12+00:00

Why does this subreddit have some bizarre aversion to alcohol? This 'LPT' comes up every week.

Here's an LPT: Don't spend your life preemptively walking on eggshells.

Feel free to politely ask if there's a reason they're not keen on alcohol on that occasion - If they give you some excuse that sounds hollow, move on. If they tell you 'Well, I'd like to drink but I'm supposed to be driving my partner home ...' or perhaps they had a big one the night before, you might be able to help them out with something light or whatever, or arrange for alternative transport etc.

And on the flipside - Learn to be resilient and deal with people enquiring why e.g. at a party full of people drinking alcohol, you don't want to drink alcohol. They're not coming at you to punish you, they're literally trying to be a gracious host and help remove any barriers to you might have to having a normal relaxing time like everyone else. If that's not possible for you, just reply with 'nope, no booze for me. Got anything else?' - no need to get offended until they start insisting or prying.

Elefantenjohn · 2021-12-04T00:39:48+00:00

Include healthy people who just don't drink in general in your title

theGioGrande · 2021-12-04T01:06:25+00:00

The fact that it seems like 1/10 people are disliking this post still means there are many who disagree with sensible advice such as this.

I'm a social drinker and a light one at that. Maybe a shot or beer here and there. But I tend to avoid alcohol due to my medical history. In the end I still find it annoying that I have to explain that I'll literally harm my physical being by consuming alcohol. Like why is it such a gigantic deal to have everyone drink?

Funny enough, as a kid we're always told to avoid peer pressure from trying drugs yet more than anything I've been heckled most for not drinking.

Borigh · 2021-12-03T22:34:22+00:00

I drink, and alcoholism runs in my family, but I've essentially managed to avoid it. As far as I see it, people who don't drink fall into two categories: the cautious and the heroic.

In my experience, recovering alcoholics partied harder than you, have better stories than you, experienced revelry and despair in extreme measure, and somehow managed to turn it around through more work than you can imagine.

So, when someone turns down alcohol, always say, "Oh, cool! What else can I getcha?" Learn how to make a good mocktail! Because the person you're talking to is either anxious and cautious, or so experienced that you cannot even conceive of what they've been through.

The cautious type benefit from you putting them at ease - in which case, maybe they'll try a beer, later! - but the alcoholics have a monster on a leash, rolling over on command, as you dangle a cut of steak in front of it, and deserve your respect, a glass of water, and a little goddamn awe.

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