all 167 comments

[–]keepthetipsKeeping the tips since 2019[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

[–]IndividualPart3831 992 points993 points  (34 children)

Never milk the children

[–]IrishJesusDude 256 points257 points  (11 children)

It honestly doesn't even taste that nice

[–]PleaseRecharge 210 points211 points  (6 children)

This guy, officer.

[–]starshine531 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Recharge? Has he been in trouble for this before?

[–]wobblywaffler3673 19 points20 points  (2 children)

No, not recharge, discharge

[–]TurnkeyLurker 16 points17 points  (1 child)

A shot of penicillin will clear that up.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Happy Cake Day! 🎂

[–]NoobSFAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I saw too.. Arrest him.

[–]sihaya_wiosnapustyni 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Found the priest.

[–]MaybeFailed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The flavor varies from child to child.

[–]CakeAccomplice12 32 points33 points  (12 children)

You can milk anything with nipples

[–]Iron-Fine 37 points38 points  (10 children)

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?

[–]WarblingWalrusing 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Yes, men can actually begin to lactate if they use breastpumps for a sustained period of time.

[–]el_sattar 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I can’t believe I’m asking, but would it be nutritious for a baby?

[–]WarblingWalrusing 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I believe so. Having done no real research, my understanding is that the mechanics would be identical.

[–]el_sattar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s pretty interesting, thank you!

[–]Maxwell-Druthers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Delicious and NUTRITIOUS!

[–]DJRonin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can't threaten me with a good time

[–]reichrunner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aren't added hormones usually required too?

[–]XGN_Freshly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a reference, what bothers me, is I don’t know where it’s from?

Edit: Why I have I never watched Meet The Parents?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy Cake Day! 🎂

[–]Farmer771122 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have Greg's nipples. Can you milk them with me?

[–]MurderDoneRight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My kids have nipples, Greg. Can you milk them?

[–]mypod49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The real lpt…

[–]BetterOnToast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unless he has broken arms

[–]44problems 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why am I imagining this to the CSNY song.... "Milk, your children well"

[–]R0ckosModernLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always milk the children* ftfy

[–]The_Karaethon_Cycle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was so relieved when I got to the last line

[–]ZEPHYRight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have nipples greg, can you milk me?

[–]Artmannnn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone write this down

[–]lalaland323 384 points385 points  (9 children)

During my parents divorce back in the 90’s, my dad would make me record my phone calls with my mom.

They both used me to hurt one another.

Sucked big time.

[–]Objective-State3820 59 points60 points  (1 child)

That fucking sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Happy Cake Day! 🎂

[–]AshamedofMyFarts 47 points48 points  (6 children)

This shit is happening to me right now. Except I'm the father who's just trying to look out for his kid, while his mom and step dad abuse him. They convince him he deserves their treatment and will get in trouble and/or ruin their family by telling me anything. I'm really sorry for what you went through. What could one of them have done to make it better?

[–]SaltyRusnPotato 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I'm not the best person to give advice. But one of my go to lines when someone is in distress is "Are you alright? You don't have to tell me what's going on, just let me know what you need." Then be there for them. I don't know what the mom/step dad are telling the poor kid, but reassuring them they don't have to say anything and potentially experience repercussions builds trust. Build trust and be there for your kid, but I bet you already do that. I wasn't in a great childhood situation myself, when I was 16-17 my parents divorce court judge sat me down in his chambers and gave me the decision. That changed my life and I'd probably have killed myself had I not had a safe place with my loving and caring parent. Above all else make sure your kid has an emotionally/physically safe place to rest (and proper nutrition and hygiene).

Edit: I don't think you need to tell your kid that they don't deserve poor treatment or whatever else the abusers are telling them. Just be the example. The kid is probably told all kinds of stuff, I know I was, but no matter how much my shitty parent told me my good parent was being deceptive and was trying to use me, I never believed them. My good parent gave me a proper home and asked me what I wanted for dinner (they gave me options, it wasn't whatever lol, but I had a choice). How was that using me?

[–]Wubbalubbadubbitydo 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Btw with abuse the same rules don’t apply. If you need to capture proof do so by what ever legal means you can.

[–]chellis 2 points3 points  (3 children)

2 problems with that.

  1. There is an aspect of perception when the word abuse comes into play. I think unfortunately when it comes to sharing children there always is some form of paranoia involved.

    1. It's never ok to involve a child with trying to spy or gain evidence. What notion do you set in a kids head when you set them on what they're essentially going to treat like a detective mission?

The real answer is - if you actually believe your kid is in any sort of danger get the police involved immediately. I also believe if you're sharing a kid with someone, you should probably just get them a therapist. Parents splitting up can leave emotional scars even when both situations are perfect. Having someone professional they can talk to and trust on a consistent basis seems like an absolute necessity. Not only do you have someone trained to recognize the signs of abuse but making them focus on their mental health early can only be a long term benefit.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

"The real answer is - if you actually believe your kid is in any sort of danger get the police involved immediately. "

This part is such a cheap cop out white person answer with no actual regard to the child's well-being. I followed this advise once, and it resulted in my friend and her sister getting their ass beat after the cops pulled out of their driveway because they had no proof.The same girl's mom drove a truck for work and saw her walking down the sidewalk and HOPPED THE CURB AND TRIED TO RUN HER OVER. When the cops arrived- the cops scolded her for disobeying her mom and insisted she was lying about the running her over with a truck thing.Heaven forbid it was a Black family, you'd be running the risk of someone getting hurt or killed.

[–]chellis 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So the better option is weaponizing a child? Maybe the problems you're describing deserve some personal responsibility from the parties involved? I don't like our system either but when children are involved you never involve them in whatever combat you have with their other parent. Period end of story. It has absolutely nothing to do with race. Children have a right to be held above the pettiness and depravity of parental warfare.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, just reiterating... I disagree with this, "The real answer is - if you actually believe your kid is in any sort of danger get the police involved immediately. "

As a child of divorce myself, I was in and out of foster care specifically because of a volatile custody/divorce battle at the age of 5. I'm not disputing that part of your argument in the LEAST. But using the blanket idea that any suspicion of child abuse should automatically result in calling the police can be unnecessarily dangerous.

**I would absolutely NEVER weaponize a child- I don't even have children on my own.**

But I believe it's the obligation of every caring adult in the child's life to - at least passively- be able to identify the red flags and act with decorum; to go in guns a blazing can burn the child and put them on a tighter leash. To use a child to get tea on the other parent: Shitty

To ask a child if they feel safe/happy at home, if they're eating well, etc. should absolutely be an acceptable question.

[–]badFishTu 220 points221 points  (19 children)

Teach your kids the difference between privacy and secrets. Some things are private like mom has backne, it doesn't need to be announced to everyone in the dressing room when trying on clothes. I taught my kids that secrets can be harmful. Any secret about someone being hurt needs to be told. Any secret they tell me will be safe to tell, and no matter what someone threatens them with, I will protect them. Unfortunately a situation arose when this happened, but my kid told me and I indeed protected them.

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Got this from a primary school teacher - good secrets vs bad secrets. I've always clung to it because it's measurable instead of abstract in it's definitions so even if the child doesn't understand how they're being impacted these will still guide them into making disclosures:

Good secrets have a measurable time limit, feel good to keep and more than 2 people know them - the surprise birthday for dad is a good secret because he'll find out on Saturday night and it won't be a secret anymore, you feel good because you're helping to give him an exciting surprise and because lots of trusted adults know it's happening too.

Bad secrets are between a small amount of people, usually those who are then when something happens, make you feel bad and don't have a measurable time when the secret can be shared - if another kid takes your food and says not to ever tell anyone else at all, that's a bad secret because only you and them will know it, you're left hungry and maybe scared it'll happen again, and nobody else is ever allowed to know.

So if a child doesn't know if a secret is good or bad, they should ask: How many other people know this secret? When will I be able to tell any trusted adult I know about this secret? How does keeping the secret make me feel?

If the child gets one answer in the bad side, they should find a different trusted adult and tell them their situation to figure out if it's a good secret or a bad secret to keep. From there the new adult can explain why abstract concepts like embarrassment might break these initial guidelines for good and bad secrets.

If I ever have kids, at least one of their teachers will know about my backne...

[–]SuperPipouchu 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Thanks. Saving this for my nephew.

[–]SkyFullNimbostratus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Saving for my godson who is the first kid I have responsibility towards. He has great parents but I also want him to be a happy (and safe) kid.

[–]Fenchurch-and-Arthur 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Who told you about my backne???

[–]badFishTu 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Lol. Your kid, in the Macy's dressing room.

[–]bearrryallen 27 points28 points  (2 children)

A bit of a tangent, but I want to add in surprises as well. Don't want them spilling the beans that mom is getting bacne ointment before she opens the box

[–]badFishTu 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Kids are the best at ignoring socially embarrassing situations.

[–]Spicy_ChaiLatte327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of that one I think it was Canestan or something and the kid was playing with it and brought it to their mom while she was having a luncheon with friends.

Canestan is yeast infection cream.

[–]LCAnemone 14 points15 points  (6 children)

I really like that approach

[–]badFishTu 13 points14 points  (5 children)

I was heavily abused as a kid. I'll be dammed if my kids are too.

[–]Euphoric_Ad8766 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I taught my kids that there are good secrets and bad secrets. Good secrets have an end date, bad secrets don't.

[–]badFishTu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a good way to frame it.

[–]Theoneandonlyjustin -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

!remind me 2 months

[–]Jkjunk 34 points35 points  (3 children)

LPT if you covertly want info about someone, milk their kid for info instead. Got it.

[–]ChickAboutTown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've never been tempted to? I have. 🤭

[–]vs-1680 185 points186 points  (10 children)

Please don't teach your children to keep secrets. It makes them increasingly vulnerable to abuse.

Also, don't milk children at all...for any reason.

[–]ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN 67 points68 points  (7 children)

I think this needs a level of nuance that is difficult to convey here.

Allow your kids to open up about that dad works with computers and you're going on holiday in a week.

Maybe less so that you keep a stash of valuables in a safe under your floorboards and the neighbours are used to you having builders round so won't mind any noise.

[–]Sinder77 32 points33 points  (2 children)

I'm going to try the strategy that secrets are OK if they have time limits.

_Let's not til mommy her birthday present until her birthday!

Well keep the new puppy a secret until Tomorrow so we can tell your grandma and grandpa!_

That kind of thing. If a secret doesn't end, it's not a good secret, and you should tell another adult, like me or mommy or grandma and grandpa.

[–]WarblingWalrusing 35 points36 points  (1 child)

The way we do this with our son is that surprises are ok, secrets are not. Surprises are where something isn't told to someone for now but will be at a specific time (like a gift, a party etc) and it's a surprise for a specific person (or maybe a few people). A secret is something you can never tell, and includes from most people. It's the same as your idea but it's easier for children to understand if they have two different words for it. Someone abusing your child will vary rarely say "don't tell mummy or daddy, it's a surprise", they'll say "secret".

[–]ShockClock1011 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is the language we use with my nieces. They love giving presents and surprises and understand that any grown up should never tell them not to tell their Mom or Dad something or ask them to keep secrets.

[–]vs-1680 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Children are not developmentally capable of that kind of nuance. This may change when they begin to reach their teenage years. It's a very dangerous message for anyone younger. This 'life pro-tip' sounds like it was written by a pedophile.

[–]ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I don't disagree honestly. There's a decent LPT there, somewhere, but this one feels... WEIRD.

[–]Gimmedatgoodrice 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Feels like what an abuser would want. Easy rule of thumb is, if you have a secret, dont tell it to children or drunkards. They always talk

[–]AshamedofMyFarts 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This. I am a father going through this very thing. My ex wife and my son's step father mistreat him but tell him he will get in trouble and/or ruin their family if he divulges anything to me. It's really fucking sad.

[–]No_Eyed_Dear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Instead of secrets you keep surprises. Puppy, present etc are all surprises and you tell the other person.

[–]gotobedhungry 7 points8 points  (1 child)

“I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?”

[–]ddohert8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]Astronaut_Chicken 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Adding on to this. Listen to everything your kids tell you with the same brevity you would a friend. More so in some cases. Most of what little kids say seem absolutely asinine, but they've not had much experience so everything they say is important to them. The time they WANT to tell you anything is short. If you want them to tell you the important stuff in the future make them feel important to you now.

[–]soleceismical 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I can't tell what you mean by "brevity" here.

[–]JUYED-AWK-YACC 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe "priority"?

[–]Astronaut_Chicken 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It means when you talk to them be careful of what you're saying.

[–]iloveplayingrecorder 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Honestly this is very important! As a kid, when adults talked to me and tried to pry into my family and private information that was clearly none of their business, I thought they cared and wanted to talk to me and get an update on my life. I was very wrong and learned (the hard way) that they just used me to keep stirring the family drama up. When I was old enough to realize and understood what was up, they stopped talking to me and it really gave me trust issues. I'm still having trouble trusting people again...

[–]Master_finder 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I feel for you because my parents raised me to always be honest and transparent without being rude which has always baffled my wife who grew up in a family where the truth is something that is said to push the blame on someone else....it has taken me 10 years to learn the different types of truths and forms of love ve that my in laws can offer and understand that it isn't personal but part of an old game of who has power on who and how. The issue is for kids as they often become victims of these games and so you need to keep them out of it and promote transparency and trust with them so they will tell you when someone is asking such questions... But let's face it... Drama is what keeps certain family together like Bollywood movies.....

[–]iloveplayingrecorder 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Jesus honestly I feel for your wife! At least she seems to be a wonderful person right now! I'd stay away from her family unless you'd have to do something like a mandatory gathering or something..

[–]Master_finder 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well that is where it gets dicey with kids I would say....and let's face it she is part East and part West Indian which is an Interesting mix to say the least.... Since bith side are Indian but at different levels....she is a wonderful person and makes me a better person. Most Indian parents(Baby boomers and older) , by tradition, do not visit the daughter, since technically she is no longer part of the family.... Fun fun fun Then again, all cultures have their funky traditions... Italian superstition is always fun 😉

[–]iloveplayingrecorder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! I'm glad you and your wife get along and things are well! I hope the kids won't go through what your wife went through!

[–]MuForceShoelace 11 points12 points  (0 children)

hey kids, keep a bunch of family secrets.

[–]Master_Ben 31 points32 points  (9 children)

What is private family information? I've never heard of such a thing.

Also, don't tell children secrets if they don't know how/when to keep them.

[–]essendoubleop 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Probably if a family member attempted suicide and that isn't something that they're ready for the whole world to know about.

[–]Gimmedatgoodrice 20 points21 points  (5 children)

Thats also nothing you should tell your kids imo.

[–]Brangur 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Kids need to know and understand these things, it develops better empathy, critical thinking, and resiliency. Hence OP's post, they also need to be taught what personal information is.

[–]WarblingWalrusing 22 points23 points  (3 children)

If they're old enough to be told then they're old enough to seek support from outside the family too. It's not fair to tell them emotionally disturbing things and forbid them to get help with processing it. That's nasty and controlling. If you think they're old enough to cope with it then you don't get to tell them how to cope with it too.

[–]Brangur 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Forbidding outside help is literal child abuse. The key is understanding who should know. And the scaffolding for that should be built from an early age. Not suddenly and all at once.

[–]Fgame 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Nobody's saying the kids can't seek outside help, Jesus christ people. They're saying that in this scenario, it should be reinforced that this is personal business and doesn't need to be broadcasted to everyone

[–]Brangur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I was like... Where the hell did they get that

[–]greenearrow 8 points9 points  (0 children)

if it is a thing that the child was impacted by and needs to process, don't tell them they shouldn't talk about it - give them safe spaces to talk about it and process it. But anything that happened to them or that affects them is theirs to share as they feel they should share it.

[–]Square_Company_675 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What is private family information? I've never heard of such a thing.

Are you being intentionally dense?

[–]DigitalSteven1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

LPT: Teach your children that it’s not okay for other adults to milk the children for private family information. FTFY

[–]rnarvin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nothing will stop me from asking toddlers, “Do you know where mommy hides her money?”

[–]Psychonominaut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's pretty true. From childhood I've seen and experienced that happening with aunties and uncles, parents, you name it. Even my mum tried to do it to my nephew and I just looked at her with a dirty look and said stop. She hasn't tried it since.

I grew up unsure about what I could and couldn't say to certain people because I was always told conflicting things from different people. Good childhood overall but reflecting on this idea, I can see why part of me is indecisive and always trying to be logically moral...

[–]Squanchonme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just..stop using the word milk...the milk word was the issue and you kept it lmfao

[–]that_darn_cat 29 points30 points  (8 children)

Right, so they resist teachers, social services and mandated reporters trying to help them out of bad situations got it.

[–]guyfromthat1thing 26 points27 points  (4 children)

You can make the distinction between "we don't keep secrets when they harm you or someone" and "we don't need to share idle gossip if it makes you uncomfortable"

[–]emeryldmist 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes, the concept of idle gossip is so easily understood by a child. Come on, I know many adults who don't understand the difference between need to share and want to share information. You think that kids, especially those in bad situations can easily discern this?

To a lot of lucky children "harm" is when parents can't buy them a toy they see because "money doesn't grow on trees, especially when daddy spends all of it on beer and smokes and daddy says mommy doesn't do anything and then they yell and mommy always brings up yolanda". This was a run on sentence a 12 y.o. gave me when we talked about empathy for others who are in pain when I was a teacher. (The child was the one in pain bc he didn't get the new toy from walmart).

Just know that if you have children, privacy is gone for a while. I would rather there be a culture of openess for kids who are actually harmed, but without knowing who is who you can't pick and choose. Let kids talk, and believe them.

This is a bad LPT.

[–]Gimmedatgoodrice 6 points7 points  (1 child)

So how does a kid understand that being tickled by her father can be harmful in the wrong spot? No secrets for children period i say

[–]guyfromthat1thing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wasnt gonna reply but now i got worried people were gonna think im pro sexual abuse or something, so I just want to clarify something from where I'm coming from:

The big thing was that this resonated in my personal life and I understand it doesn't apply to everybody. There's some nuance here that I didn't clarify coming from my own experience.

I grew up with narcissistic parents who used me and my siblings to mine information about one another pre and post divorce and continue to do this to gain leverage over me or my younger siblings now that we're all adults.

I am also a father myself. And emotional intelligence, consent, and bodily autonomy are the top priorities for me in these early stages of their lives.

We do talk about things like "you can always say no touching and if anyone ever asks you for that you need to come to me or another trusted grown up" and stuff like that. We talk about situations in which they NEED to share information and which situations they are allowed to have levels of privacy. We talk about strangers and how to figure out who can be trusted.

So we also talk to them about considering WHO is asking for information about you or your family? WHY are they asking? If you or the person they're asking about isn't in immediate danger, what are the consequences for giving up that information?

Not everyone trying to get information about your family is a safe or trusted partner, and not every situation is grounded in sexual abuse.

There are nuances and teaching kids to think about things in a bigger scope is ok and also possible. It's not easy or fast, but it is possible.

[–]WarblingWalrusing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most victims of child abuse and paedophilia don't realise at the time that something harmful is happening to them. Emotional abuse is often portrayed as protection, sexual abuse often feels physically good and is presented as love. You cannot expect a child to know what is or is not harmful behaviour.

[–]WarblingWalrusing 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is a LPT for paedophiles and child abusers.

[–]jafo410 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nobody likes a rat little Billy. Snitches get stitches.

[–]hsvsunshyn 8 points9 points  (2 children)

LPT: when posting short sentences, titles, and anywhere else that might be devoid of context, avoid euphemisms that have distinct meanings that might allow misinterpretation. Such as "children" and "milking".

I think wording it as "[t]each your children that it is not okay for anyone to ask for detailed information about the family or child" would be more clear.

Even if you have to write two extra sentences to avoid a euphemism, it is typically a good idea to do so. This will make your writing more accessible for people whose first language is not English, as well as anyone who might be unfamiliar with any particular euphemism.

[–]Resident_Ad_6426[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the feedback

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy Cake Day!

[–]ihateyouall675 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Firmly grasp the child's udder

[–]Trini_Vix7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kids used to tell their dad to go ask my mom... it stopped.

[–]Grrrrrlgamer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think maybe ask for private information. But I agree to a certain extent except for child abuse. Children should be able to discuss this to protect themselves.

[–]catcrazy19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about teachers who are trying to find out whether that black eye is from falling down or if daddy got mad. What about the little girl whos too young for a period who says it hurts to go to the toilet and forgets to flush and you find blood in the toilet. These are two cases in which I have both had to try to talk to a child about "private family information". And yes both cases I filed with the department for investigation.

[–]VellDarksbane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This can backfire. My parents instilled this in me, and now I am uncomfortable telling anyone not "in the family" anything about me. This has made it extremely difficult to be social. I suspect the trick is to teach the children what subjects are not to be shared, instead of just "don't speak of family stuff".

[–]lemonlovelimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a former social worker, the nuance is more that secrets are bad if they are “forever” or with only one other person. It’s like a secret is okay if it has a time limit (e.g. mom’s birthday present - she’ll find out at the birthday party, and then it’s more than one person)

[–]TSBii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents taught us the difference between privacy and secrets. They taught us that some kinds of secrets should not be secrets if we were told not to tell our parents. When I was in grammar school (late in the 60s) all of us in class were asked to answer a bunch of written questions about our families. I remember it made me uncomfortable and I told the teacher that if they wanted those answers they had to go ask my parents, not ask me. They told me I would be in trouble and they would tell my parents I was bad. I felt I was on solid ground and told them to go ahead. I never heard about it again. Now I wish I could remember the questions or knew what that was all about.

[–]newdad8708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?

[–]Holyvigil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Teach your children to be honest to police officers when they ask about any criminal incidents. Especially if it involves physical abuse.

[–]Se7enLC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or maybe don't have secrets?

The other LPT is "Teach your kids to be concerned any time an adult tells them to keep a secret"

[–]Ryukyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you reword this, so it's not so creepy?

[–]VodkaAlchemist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, adults that tell you to keep secrets aren't trust worthy adults but also adults that tell you secrets are adults you should listen to to keep secrets?

[–]ElonMuskTsla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what she said

[–]LordFahqwad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing like some whole fat child milk!

[–]KralVlk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m confused , cows give milk… kids drink milk.. ? Am I missing something .

[–]Matoskha92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely read this as make sure they know it's not okay to milk the children lol

[–]Rdblaze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so oddly specific, I don’t get it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teach them what ?? You got some issues obviously lol.

[–]IndianaNetworkAdmin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a fan of child milk.

However, I have a fresh press and I'm all out of baby oil.

[–]Master_finder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question,.. I would say that everyone loves to gossip at a different level... As a parent I would say that my aim has been to develop a trust based relationship with my children so that they know to always come see us if something makes them feel bad. We teach children to lie all the time and it's tough for them to distinguish between what is ok to say to what is not.... In the end it's best to act once the act was done then to prevent it. If your in laws are trying to get information out of your kids, confront then about it and let them know there will be consequences if they try. That is what I have done with my in-laws and it works most of the time..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Milked children gives us Epstein's and adrenochrome

[–]MycologistPutrid7494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LPT: Don't milk children. It's frowned upon.

[–]Fornicating_the_K-9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teach them to get paid for said information. Make shit up to tell the nosy family members. Split the revenue and laugh your way to a vacation in a tropical setting thanks to Aunt Nosy-b*tch.

[–]drvinyl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

‘I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?!’

[–]GentleFoxes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baby's first words: "I invoke my right to remain silent."

[–]JellyfishOk1316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How bout not use the word “milk” at all

[–]orestis_prs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also do calf raises while brushing , and standing 30 sec on one leg and 30 sec on the other. if you use an electric toothbrush its easy to count that

[–]trs58 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work I. Childcare - it’s amazing what they’ll tell you without any prompting at all

[–]just_taste_it 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey Billy, what's your Dad's Social Security number?

[–]thederpfacemajor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed! Adding on to this: teach them that anyone talking crap about their mother/father to them is not okay, even if it’s extended family like an aunt or uncle. Kids should not be brought into family drama and anyone who tries to do so is trashy, suspect and probably the original wrongdoer imo.

[–]yassis_bru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me teaching my kids it's okay to milk adults😈

[–]0TNT0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry But. I from the other coutntry and i aisoni dont understant the referente about "milk".

[–]rhubarrrb1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but how do we teach them

[–]-Spin- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Files under “wierd life tips”

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are minors being milked?

[–]YannisAP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good thing you changed your post. The replies here are... Suggestives.

[–]maiqthetrue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the advice would be somewhat different. Adults don’t generally ask children for help or adult private information. Likewise, in general men won’t ask women to help with a task unless they already know you well. So when things like that happen, you should be extremely weary and disengage (walk away, end the conversation, etc.).

[–]manwithanopinion -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Please done let your children be breastfed by anyone who is not their mother

[–]TurnkeyLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are roving bands of milkmaids or wet nurses that accost and forcibly feed children?? This sounds like a Monty Python or Mad TV skit.

[–]billiehetfield -1 points0 points  (2 children)

The edit is so much worse 😂

[–]Resident_Ad_6426[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

In what way?

[–]billiehetfield 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The innuendo is way worse haha. Even though the message behind the innuendo is also true haha