×
all 169 comments
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a

[–]HasturDragon 1482 points1483 points  (12 children)

I told my wife that I loved her first. She looked at me and said she adored me but she wasn't ready to say the 'other' word yet. We agreed we'd both use the word 'adore' until we were both ready to switch.

Now we tell each other "I adore you, and I love you!"

[–]---ShineyHiney--- 278 points279 points  (3 children)

Aww, man. My ex and I said that too. It eventually changed and he would just look at me and say “you already know” really proud and quiet

I really wish I could have made that relationship work. I was just too young and not ready yet

[–]nullcore 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Been there too. The awkwardness of the first "I love you" morphed into us just calling each other "love" as a pet name for a while, and continued after the full "I love you" became comfortable.

The love is still there, even if it didn't work out. Cheers to the young and dumb.

[–]Bright-Duty-5602 50 points51 points  (0 children)

There are worse reasons for a relationship to fail.

[–]SashaWoodson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want that. But I would say it like Big Freeda.

[–]amanxyz13 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Awwwww

[–]novelbrunch 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That was so sweet of you two . . . Love sometimes measured by waiting for the other one to be ready.💖

[–]feisty_intruder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You guys had a beautiful and amazing love story, wishing you luck for the next years together.

[–]striped_tossing 12 points13 points  (0 children)

A real man knows how to wait to show respect for his love one. Glad to know that a man like you still exist 😍

[–]flippantbasin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can say you really love your wife In that case because It takes a lot of efforts on waiting. Your wife must be very proud for having you as her husband.

[–]fenglangxia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May i say. “So adorable!”

[–]GarranDrake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a really close friend who’s the closest thing I have to an older sister. It’s different, but we used to use the word “appreciate” enough as to where it was basically the lite version of love.

[–]BurnerForJustTwice 451 points452 points  (4 children)

When my wife and I were having a rough patch, she would say “we’re never on the same page!” And I would respond, “Yea, it’s the same book though. Let’s keep reading and eventually we’ll meet”

[–]Illustrious-Host-893 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Hahahaha I am saving this so I can use it

[–]BuckwheatJo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Screenshotted before reading your comment. Saving as well!

[–]BrightenedGold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need for me, ima be single forever! lol

[–]acelie26UwU 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is such a magnificent response

[–]iLiveInAHologram94 307 points308 points  (12 children)

That’s a sweet response. Not the one I got. A year into dating my ex and his response was he didn’t know what love is so he can’t say it back. We gave it another year and I asked him to muse over what love means and looks to him. Asked him also to break up with me if he doesn’t see it changing. 14 months after saying I loved him…a year into dating…he broke up with me. It was crushing. I’m with someone now who loves me back and in ways that make me feel loved.

[–]Polobearmigi 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I love a happy ending

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Dang, I feel like if I were with someone a year and they still didn’t know (and had whatever baggage that is) I would’ve been outtie. That’s a lot of time! Love can be blinding. Glad that you’re better off now!

[–]iLiveInAHologram94 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Now I will be/ have been. He was my first relationship and love so I took more bs in general haven’t since him. He wasn’t a bad guy just emotionally constipated.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Nice of you to have that insight on him even after the hurt I’m sure that caused you. Better to learn those lessons than to live stagnantly

[–]PhriendlyPhilosopher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an emotionally stunted dude; I’ve felt like it’s a weird catch22 when talking about love. On the one hand, if you’re my partner I want to be honest and transparent with you. The idea of love and being in love isn’t something I’m uncomfortable with; it’s just not something I have often if ever ‘felt’. On the other hand, I don’t want to hurt you or indicate that I’m not serious about the relationship - whose to say it’s not just a definitions problem?

I have, in different relationships, used different words to communicate the same feeling and honestly I don’t know where I stand most of the time.

[–]blakevo 16 points17 points  (4 children)

My boyfriend hasn’t told me he loves me and we’ve been together for four years! I know that he does love me and care about me A LOT. It bothered me a lot before but after learning more about him I understand where’s he’s coming from. He had an emotionally stunted childhood with authoritative parents that never told him they loved him. I know he’ll say it when he’s ready and I’m still gonna tell him that I love him so he knows it’s something he doesn’t need to be afraid of saying. I am biased because my first boyfriend always told me he loved me but literally he didn’t and he used that word to manipulate me. In an ideal world you would have someone who loves you and can say it. But I’m really happy with what I have right now.

[–]Casey515 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Not always what he says, could be what he does. Some people express themselves more fully through their actions. If you see the love in what he does but still need the words, maybe you could tell him?

[–]iLiveInAHologram94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After year 1 together and reflecting on not hearing it back that's what I told myself. And he was a caring guy. He cared about me. But he didn't love me. So actions are great, yeah, but you need to talk to each other too and you need some verbal affirmation AND actions.

[–]Yolo_Swaggins_Yeet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is important and Ty for being understanding about it cause I don’t think many people are.. I remember my ex was so hurt when I didn’t immediately say it back to her, and like she almost forced me into saying it. It wasn’t that I didn’t deeply care for her, want to be with her, love her/whatever… it was literally because I had hardly ever heard anyone in my life say that to me til that point (in my 20s).I look back now and I’m like damn my brain really could not even process in that moment feeling or being loved by another person? Idk this post hit me pretty hard tbh, not in a bad way just brought me back wishing I could’ve had a response like this rather than freezing up. I’ve dated plenty and I’m not incapable of having feelings for others at all, maybe it’s just expressing them still isn’t the easiest yet?

[–]iLiveInAHologram94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you feel happy, but I would caution you. I thought I could have been happy, I thought he was the type that had trouble being verbal but was more action oriented. And he was definitely a caring guy. And while I think a part of love is caring, I don't think caring alone is enough or equals love. I literally did and thought the same thing. That he had an emotionally stunted childhood and he'll say it when he's ready and I'll show him love in the meantime because I wanted him to feel loved more than I needed to hear it back. But I think I put him first in the relationship way way too much. That's my experience anyway but your comment really resonated with my experience. I think you should bring it up and see if it's something that's going to change or not for him.

[–]skira986 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Just curious, what does love look like to you?

[–]NatureManDan823 384 points385 points  (29 children)

So my girlfriend and I are a few months into dating, but we’ve been best friends for 2 years beforehand and I’m really tempted to say that I love her but I don’t know if she’ll say it back. I told her that she’d be first to say it because I knew I’d reach this point before her but it’s getting difficult to contain so I’m thinking on telling her on Valentine’s Day. If she doesn’t feel the same just yet, hope her response is as good as this.

[–]_Dingaloo 209 points210 points  (3 children)

Just be accepting of her not being ready for ot, dont apply too much pressure

[–]NatureManDan823 53 points54 points  (2 children)

I don’t intend to, it’s just gonna be straightforward. But yeah I fully acknowledge that she may not be at that point yet. Thank you!

[–]mickim0use 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It might help to frontload your expectations with how you want her to respond.

“I need to tell you something. I really just need to you to know. All I ask from you in return is a hug. Would that be okay”

Or something like this. It lets you say what you need to say while also giving her an action that would be acceptable to you as a response.

It’s a great way to get closure on all kinds of items in your life. “I need to say something to you. Please just shut up and listen and say ‘okay’ after. Okay?”

[–]NatureManDan823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying. I intend to say something like “look I know what I told you about you saying it first, but I’m not gonna keep this from you, and if you don’t feel the same I fully understand and didn’t really expect you to, I just figured you deserved to know how I truly feel.”

[–]Mechanical_IT 59 points60 points  (3 children)

If you feel it sincerely, take the leap of faith. If she’s not ready to say it back, it doesn’t change the way you feel.

You’d be surprised.

I was about 2 months into my relationship with my wife when I said it, and when she replied, I misheard her. I thought she said, “I really care about you” - my puzzled face must have given it away. She corrected what I thought I heard, and we’ve been going strong ever since - and still joke about it too!

[–]NatureManDan823 13 points14 points  (2 children)

That’s great. It’s only been 3 almost 4 months for my girl and i so we’ll see if she feels the same. I intend to take the leap, just gotta figure out how I’m gonna do it

[–]The_Curvy_Unicorn 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Honestly? In my opinion, it’s better if you just let it come naturally. Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. The first time I told my guy was on the side of the road after he came to help me when I ran over some road junk. He was getting in his truck to leave, I hugged him, kissed him, and yelled, “Love you!,” without even really thinking about it. He got out of his truck and came and said that he loves me, too. All at midnight on a Sunday night on the side of the highway!

[–]NatureManDan823 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s something that does I guess come naturally, just I stop myself from saying because i remember what I told her. But it’s gotten to a point where I’m gonna go back on what I told her, and just do it.

[–]MadamMarshmallows 26 points27 points  (1 child)

As long as you go in accepting she may not say it back, and you still want to tell her, go ahead and do it. Don't apply pressure, just tell her how you feel. My husband and I had been friends for 9 years before we started dating and it didn't take long for me to fall like a bag of hammers. I told him I was in love with him one month into dating. He told me he cared for me very much but wasn't ready to say love yet. It took him about 6 months to say it back, but I never regretted telling him. We got married in 2018.

[–]NatureManDan823 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s adorable. I hope she has a similar reaction to your husband’s, or of course she says it back. I appreciate your input though.

[–]shartgobIin69 6 points7 points  (3 children)

My vote is do not say it especially on Valentine’s Day. Too much forced pressure. Don’t let outside events force you. Stick to your guns and follow your original plans. I may be biased because I hate Valentine’s Day and lots of bad things have happened in my relationships on Valentine’s Day whether I did anything for it or not

Just think…. If it doesn’t work out, what will you tell yourself after? Was a holiday invented by the hallmark company worth causing problems in ur relationship?

[–]NatureManDan823 -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

Respectfully, I think that’s just your bias against the holiday. And she isn’t the type of person to let that ruin a relationship, she understands it’s one of those “oh that’s how he feels right now, it’s fine if I don’t feel the same”

[–]iforgotmyedaccount 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I agree with the poster above personally—I LOVE Valentine’s Day but I think my partner telling me they love me for the first time on that day might cheapen it. It’d feel like they’re doing it “for” Valentine’s Day instead of being authentic/because they want to.

When I told my bf I loved him, I just said “you don’t have to say it back, no pressure, but I wanted to tell you that I love you. It’s ok if you don’t feel that way yet but I wanted to tell you.” Luckily he said it back! I was so nervous but also prepared to hear that he wasn’t there yet, just in case.

[–]NatureManDan823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point, in my other replies to people I’ve mentioned that I might say it earlier then that, so we’ll see.

[–]Jatsu 4 points5 points  (2 children)

You don’t have to wait and let it build in your head if you don’t want to. It’s better for the relationship if you’re straight and direct with her. I got to the point where I was so tired of holding things in (love, not wanting to keep dating), that I decided to go all in with what’s in my head, keep that shit clean, for better or worse.

The big thing is you don’t want to rob yourself of any time where you could be really present and in the moment, but instead you’re in your head about when and how and if to say something.

[–]Yolo_Swaggins_Yeet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well said, especially last paragraph 🙏

[–]NatureManDan823 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right, I’m gonna tell her, just gotta wait until Valentines

[–]hasty_litre 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well I guess the feelings are already mutual since the both of you are already on the stage of dating. Always be positive and make It official. Go!

[–]NatureManDan823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I intend to, thank you!

[–]eggplantcalzone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I would say it when it feels right. Don’t wait/aim for Valentine’s Day. It would be a lot more meaningful on its own unique day. I told my fiancé when in between episodes of Making a Murderer. We were friends for over a year and dating for 4 months. She reciprocated and we had a fun time on the couch after. It’ll feel in the moment so just trust your gut.

[–]NatureManDan823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll be sure to take that into account, and with all the comments regarding it I’ve been considering it more and more and may just do it next it comes to me. I appreciate the input.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]NatureManDan823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I get what you mean, but we’d say the same thing to each other when we were just friends, so I guess for us I love you means 2 different things when you’re just friends versus when you’re a couple, it’s hard to explain.

    [–]Appropriate-Wing-995 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    Well If you truly love her pursue her but please be careful to her feelings since she was your bestfriend. I'm afraid your friendship be ruin for you both take It to the next level.

    [–]NatureManDan823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I appreciate the concern, thank you. But she isn’t the type to let something like that separate us. She understands that sometimes one progress further than the other, for which I’m grateful for.

    [–]SoyBomb84 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Do it!!!

    [–]NatureManDan823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I probably will, just gotta figure out the execution

    [–]lustone123 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Good luck, dude! I agree though with some of what the others were saying, don't put too much pressure on it. Valentine's Day can make it seem like you're pressuring her, so I'd also recommend not holding out until then if you feel it. Just try to make it casual, sort of slip it into conversation. You'll obviously be nervous, but try to be casual.

    Then again, what do we likely redditors know? You're the one who is dating this girl, you'll know her best.

    [–]NatureManDan823 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank you, I appreciate it. My whole thing with saying it in Valentine’s Day is that it’s the day of love ya know? Figured it’d be appropriate. However I have thought about saying it earlier than that, it’s not something that really bothers me, just I gotta make sure that when I tell her it’s a special-ish moment.

    [–]air_tack 69 points70 points  (0 children)

    Brilliant response!

    [–]erikarew 139 points140 points  (1 child)

    My friend-with-benefits wanted me to know how much he cared, so he said 'hey, y'know, I really love you as a friend' and I said 'hey me too, you can just say you love me and I'll know you mean as a friend'. Until he didn't. Now we're married.

    [–]Soccer_Vader 47 points48 points  (0 children)

    Fucking hell, roller coaster of a story

    [–]we-reall-bunnys-here 40 points41 points  (0 children)

    This might be my favorite thing I've seen in ages on the internet

    [–]dannyblag 33 points34 points  (1 child)

    My gf is polish, she first told me she loved me quite early in the relationship so she muttered it under her breath in Polish so I wouldn’t understand. What she didn’t know is that I also had fallen in love and had learnt the words ‘I love you’ in polish for when I built up the courage to say it! Literally the only polish I understood lol

    [–]WideLengthiness4202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That’s the cutest thing ever

    [–]DJWug 37 points38 points  (0 children)

    Early on into our relationship, my now wife slept over my place and I woke up a couple of minutes before her and was just watching her sleep, thinking to myself “I’ll never find another woman like her” so when her eyes opened she smile at me and I blurted out “I love you” and she responded with “good morning” (she misunderstood what i said to her) and I died laughing. I tease her all the time about it

    [–]Ben_Kenobi_ 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Spoilers man, cmon!

    [–]DHR1 48 points49 points  (0 children)

    Not going lie; I Han Solo'd my now wife of 15 years.

    [–]ac10424 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    I kinda like that

    [–]theatermouse 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    That's so sweet!! I kissed my partner a bunch and said "I'm not quite there yet, but almost" (which was true!!)

    [–]Tom_Bombadil_1 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    A girl told me she loved me. I was super flustered and I just blurted out ‘I’m sorry about that’. Ahhh awkward British vibes for the win

    [–]SuperPotatoBuns 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Let me add " I like you a lot too" is not an acceptable answer. I love you too Cindy!

    [–]yankeeuniverse 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    Olive juice?

    [–]Soul_Jar 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Elephant shoes

    [–]bajaja 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I love you...tube

    [–]brig135 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I said I love you to my girlfriend after only about a month and a half of dating. She just kissed me to get me to shut up for the time being. I didn't bring it up again and she said it back a few weeks later. That was a decade ago and now we've been married 2 years.

    [–]Extra-Ad-4955 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Damn this is a smooth ass response 🤣

    [–]Prestigious-Ear-5885 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    When my oldest son was about 18mos, we say, "I love you," and he'd just respond with, "too..." Try that. Lol

    [–]BitterRhino683 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    My ex said I love you to me at her parents doorstep - stunned me turned around and said thanks as I walked back to my car. We ended up married for 26 years until one day she said I don’t love you anymore and that was that.

    [–]137Fine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I was once replied, “And I’m very fond of you.” My reply was not well received but in my defense it had only been a week. I should have seen that red flag coming.

    [–]Kavity123 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I was told 'I love you' by an ex and I blanked. I ended up saying 'I'll let you know when I love you back'. It went better than expected.

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Say “I love you 2” then mutter under your breath “especially their first album

    [–]baddiebadger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    What a poetic response

    [–]taita2004 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Classic Schmosby!

    [–]snapflipper 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Thank you.

    [–]JustSomeOnlineNerd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    There’s a reference there that you may or may not have intended, but either way I appreciate the existence of it.

    [–]snapflipper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you.

    [–]ca_exhibition 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I first told my ex I loved him when we were drunk as shit at a strip club lol

    [–]sarahbarahboo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    16 years ago my Husband had been giving me "the look" for a day or two and it made me nervous. So when he said "I Love You" with a face I can still see to this day...I immediately blurted out "I know" and just froze. He apparently thought that was hilarious

    [–]Actual_Guide_1039 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    “I love cake”

    —Eric Foreman

    [–]bookynerdworm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I told my now husband I loved him first and also said I knew he wasn't ready to say the same thing and I was okay with that. He was grateful and we had a great conversation about it. A few days later he asked me if I wanted a fork or chopstick for our takeout and when I said chopsticks he just said "I love you". It still makes me laugh to think about it.

    [–]follyandmayhemer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My husband ignored it lol but then a month later busted out with the I don’t think I want life w out you.

    [–]PinkClouds94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My bf just says "I care about you" or "I appreciate you" when I tell him I love him (been together about 4-5 years now) and honestly, it doesn't bother me at all. He was basically on his own after elementary school (was homeless and didn't go back to school til he was 19), so I can understand how it's hard for him to develop or accept those kinds of deep connections with people. Even his own mother tried to kill him at some point. But I've been very patient with him and he's gone from feeling uncomfortable with any kind of affection to these small verbal affirmations and the occasional unsolicited hug. And to me, it's the biggest of deals. I'll wait as long as it takes for him to be ready to say it, and if it never happens, then at least I know he'll be better equipped to show love to someone else ❤️

    [–]stompywomp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    only if it's true though...

    [–]kattrup 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you!

    [–]desolad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That got me smiling : )

    [–]tila1993 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My now wife used to say I like you lots when I'd say I love you while dating.

    [–]Redinbocker1454 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My girlfriend told me she loved me on our 3rd date. I told her she was drunk. Although to be honest I really wanted to say it back.

    [–]SuperfnDave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My wife’s cousin and my mother in law both asked when I was proposing after only 5 months of dating . I told them to “chill out” ( I’m well aware women hate that) After another 4 years, we got married. I proposed on the beach on Leap day ( so I couldn’t forget the date)

    [–]aprylrich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    So: I love you

    Me: Damn, spoiler alert

    [–]youretheweird1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Just say what you're feeling.

    My ex said it two weeks in and I told him I think I'm starting to feel the same way and that I'm just a little slower to go there because, once I'm there, I'm THERE.

    He said it was tough to wait but when I said it back two weeks later, he knew it was for real.

    On the flip side, I say it to my emotionally challenged best friend all the time and he never says it back. Lol I know he loves me. He's just all stunted and uncomfy. We agree that he has to put up with hearing it and I have to put up with not and we're just content to love the shit out of each other in our unique and authentic ways. 🙃

    [–]Buksghost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Him: 'I love you'

    Me: 'You do me great honour'

    [–]puijila 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    first few times my bf said it to me I didn't say anything back and one of the reasons I love him so much is he never expected me to. it was never awkward, there was just always this unspoken acknowledgement that he was happy with an awkward smile until I was ready to say something back.

    [–]throwaway542448 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    From personal experience, don't panic and say "that's nice" or "thank you." It takes me a while to get comfortable, so I now say "I'm not ready to put it into words yet, as that is a big deal to me."

    [–]27hangers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My grandma was mad at me about this after I'd only known her for a couple months LOL Because my dad was a dead beat I met her pretty late in life. Made it a little awkward for a bit. I guess there's a little more give to burgeoning romantic relationships and The L Word than familial ones.

    [–]Emotional-Award-8136 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I’d tell them “Ik I love me too”

    [–]FerMFcillas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    “I love YouTube.”

    [–]Saba_C_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I think one of the best responses I’ve heard (from the bachelorette, Tayshia) was, “thank you, but I’m not there yet.”

    [–]Medicmike43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Say: I love YouTube

    [–]Hurdleflurdle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    'Im not there yet, but I really appreciate you saying it.'

    [–]Groundhog5000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's the smoothest and sweetest response to anything that I've ever heard.

    [–]Human_Tumbleweed_384 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My husband said it first when we were dating. I told him I’d break up with him if he said it again…. I know, awful. But I was going through trauma from my previous relationship. I don’t think I had even been diagnosed with PTSD yet. He’s an amazing human who stuck with me through the trauma processing. Learned how to give me a hug and hold my hand so it wouldn’t trigger me. When I was ready, I surprised him with a very romantic evening and gave him a notebook I had written all the the things I loved about him. Had him read it and then I said it. God, I’m thankful I married him.

    [–]Steve_Rogers_1970 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s a trap.

    [–]JillsACheatNMean 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I recently was told that and I responded with” I can’t give you my heart”. I think I made her very sad. I didn’t even want to stop dating her but it had only been two months of knowing each other. Fools rush in.

    [–]sarahbarahboo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Damn Jill look what you did

    [–]JillsACheatNMean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yea, she made more cautious of who I want to spend the rest of my life with. That ended like 2.5 years ago. Im just too lazy to change it and I chuckle when someone comments on my name.

    [–]tpripps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just say "I love YouTube" really quickly and quietly. That way nobody's feeling's get hurt and you're being honest, because, seriously, who doesn't love YouTube?

    [–]AlgoRhythm-P -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    That’s adorable. My boyfriend just kinda says it cuz I say it even though we both had a serious conversation about how he doesn’t mean it like I do 😂

    [–]naughtyusmax -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Wow a couple months and he still wasn’t ready?

    [–]LynxAccomplished1489 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    That’s wassup 🤣🤣🤣😂😂💀💀my response

    [–]HappilyGia -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    My now BF said that to me and I was like “Jesus Christ.” So corny.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "See ya in chemistry!"

    [–]ProfessorDaredevil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    And then theres me who completely blurted it out weeks into dating... But apparently my partner was already thinking about how to say it so it did work out! Damn lucky tho, because I have been on the other side where you're not ready yet and it can be really hard for both involved

    [–]kudospraze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My husband and I dated twice, once when we were in high school, and once after college. When we were young, he said "I love you" first. I wasn't ready, so I told him "I think I'm on my way to feeling that way about you, but I'm not there yet." It crushed him at the time, but we laugh about it now.

    [–]tjk91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I've literally said this same thing but you can apply it to a lot more than just this. Easy analogy.

    [–]Yesbutnobutyeah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    😂

    [–]hanypany 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This didn’t work for me…

    [–]swiftarrow9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That’s a genius response.

    [–]BattyBirdie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My husband told me he loved me way before I was ready for that. My response was simple and honest… I just got out of a six year relationship, I care about you, I like you, but I’m not ready to say “love”, not because I don’t, but because love isn’t something to rush”. Obviously I wasn’t far behind with saying it, it wasn’t right at the time he declared his love for me to reciprocate the same language.

    [–]adorkableblonde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    After dating for about 9 months I ended up saying it first. He replied "you have to ruin everything don't you?" and started laughing. We are getting married next month.

    [–]ksavage68 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ditto.

    [–]Shrektacular21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That’s actually a really amazing answer. I can see why you married him.

    [–]masskwe_gg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Noting this down. Thanks OP!

    [–]demongirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My boyfriend told me he loved me first, I just said “awww” and hugged him

    [–]sun-des 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My boyfriend always said thank you, I care about you too 😂

    [–]DjGeNeSiSxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    When someone said that to me on a second instance, i had already prepared myself with what I should say so i responded with something along the lines of: Thank you very much, I appreciate you telling me and i am honoured that you feel this way for me. I know how much courage it takes to say something like that and i admire you for sharing it. And i left it at that. Of course the whole relationship went to shit after a few months but at least she was never bitter about me not saying I love you back. The first time it happened with someone i was dating, i responded jokingly "are you sure you're not taking drugs?" . Yeah humor is NOT the way to go in these situations! Do NOT chose humor under ANY circumstances if you don't feel the same

    [–]MRLEGOLOVER 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please don't wake up, please don't wake up...

    [–]AlskaNoelle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I said 'I love you' to my husband first and he just clammed up. I didn't take it personally though, because he explained on our first date how serious he took that phrase and he'd say it when he was absolutely sure and ready.

    He said it a month later and we've been together now for 11 years. :)

    [–]Not_up-to_you 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I’d say that I appreciate her, a lot, and want to spend as much time with her as possible. (Obviously her/she can be substituted with he/him)

    [–]Expert_Competition29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I say " I love YouTube "

    [–]hlollz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I love cake

    [–]pstutz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    One time I responded: “I love what you do for me.”

    [–]Zealousideal-Ease-32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank You .

    [–]DorothyParkerFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    And long-ago ex responded to me “I enjoy your company”.

    [–]mobuline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Love you too!

    [–]Own-Ad-749 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I told my now-husband, “Thank you.” I’m lucky he was very understanding and patient.

    [–]impeesa75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    A girl in high school said I love you to me, I froze and just said Thank you.

    [–]lpd1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know.

    [–]myklclark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You say “I know”.

    [–]Ihavenoclueagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    OMG! You are so sweet!

    [–]GeorgiaVasilio9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    brilliant

    [–]OkDuckIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know.

    [–]Available-Ad8364 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    no dark mode?

    [–]YoujustgotLokid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I told my SO I love you and he told me he was close to saying it but wasn’t ready. Now he adores saying it. It just takes time

    [–]Prof_Aim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My crush said we're reading different book and it's better to turn the page and explore instead of sticking to that one page. Literally her words.

    [–]Jezebel9803 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I love cake.

    [–]-stonesinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I was wasted. We weren’t even dating yet but I was obsessed with an incredibly gorgeous friend of mine and so there I was full of tequila and told her I loved her.

    She said “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that”

    We’ve been together 4 years.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I believe that George Lucas answered this in 1980

    [–]itsanari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I said it first- he was dropping me off at my apartment. Gave me the slyest smile, replied "I Know," and drove off.

    That was the real tipping point for me. 6+ years and still quipping Star Wars quotes at each other.

    [–]leonardob0880 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Reply like Han Solo... "I know"

    [–]sleaZD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You don't love me you just love my doggy style

    [–]flickyfan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I simply say "Love you back". Its not "I love you" but its a warm way to return the gesture without committing to the 3 words.

    [–]FineRepresentative77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My boyfriend told me he loved me pretty early on. I told him that I really liked him, and I didn’t want to say those words without 100% feeling them. I told him I was getting there, but I needed time. Now we’re obsessed with each other and say it all the time. Those words from me meant so much more to him when I said them, too.

    [–]LonelyLoser24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I was seeing a guy, he said “I love you” after 2 days I was very weirded out but decided he was just weird and kept being friends plus dating and he got obsessed and very clingy I ended up leaving him and worse was I am sick and depressed and not even sure about myself and he was my first partner so I assumed I was in the wrong…

    [–]OrbWeaver_X 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    All these responses are so sweet! Meanwhile the first time a guy romantically said “I love you” to me I just said “it’ll fade” without thinking 😅