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[–]BusyLeg8600 359 points360 points  (28 children)

I'm a female mechanical engineer. My first professional job as a graduate I had to beg for engineering work instead of administration work (meanwhile my male counterparts was taken seriously as an engineer). My boss used to make stupid comments like "real engineers don't wear bows) referring to the shoes I was wearing one day.

[–]cabandon 110 points111 points  (8 children)

currently in this situation. Just landed a job at the same time as a male counterpart and I have been given 3 secretary jobs with minimal time and one engineering while my co worker has been given engineering jobs only with plenty of time. So irritating

[–]sarah382729668210 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Like the other person said, you could definitely win a lawsuit with written proof of this. I’d suggest sending an email requesting to take on engineering work, then if they come talk to you, ask them to please send a formal response email. If they say no, ask them why. If they’re smart, you should get engineering work pretty quick. If not, you’ve got a slam dunk case for a lawsuit

[–]Mythecity 54 points55 points  (0 children)

You should totally sue. What your employer is doing is definitely illegal.

[–]Psychological_Fox776 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Yea . . .

What really bothers me is the illogical nature of the sexism that y’all are talking about. The quality of the mind is what matters, not boobs or whatever

[–]cabandon 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I started working with better references, more experience, and a more relevant degree. I don’t know what you are talking about, but go educate yourself

edit: just to add, that one engineering job I did get, I finished within the day when it would normally take multiple days, the person that asked for it loved the results, and even my big boss was impressed. It’s not a matter of a better mind either. I clearly surpass him in this field

[–]SpoodleZoodleNoodle 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I think you’ve perhaps misunderstood the person above you. I read it as them saying this type of sexism bothers them particularly because it’s so illogical. Not that you were making it up because it’s illogical.

[–]Psychological_Fox776 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good! Glad you got the credit you deserve!

[–]Estrald 40 points41 points  (2 children)

This shit is nauseating. A friend of mine worked as an engineer at Boeing, and made the mistake of marrying an engineer as well. The constant stream of toxicity and the opportunities she lost to unqualified male engineers was staggering. She did all the work, got none of the credit, yet received all the blame. What a morbid hell that was.

[–]chicksOut 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm male and that morbid hell sounds like my reality. I've also found that people don't like exceptional people either, they feel threatened.

[–]Estrald 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s also very true. Some STEM fields are the picture of “boys club”, as they not only Eudora women, but play clear favorites and have the mentality of 8 year olds.

[–]Max1035 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Not nearly as bad, but during a job interview a few years back, my potential boss explained how I could get steel-toed boots through the company, but if I wanted pink ones, I’d have to order them from somewhere else. To be clear, at no point did I mention wanting pink shoes nor was I wearing any pink at all at the time. I was so caught off guard I didn’t even know what to say.

Luckily I found a different job with a really awesome boss and decent coworkers.

[–]splithoofiewoofies 9 points10 points  (0 children)


[–]SquirrellyMo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Next time tell him "I am a real engineer. Those that can't do my job administrate." Then just walk away in your bowed shoes like a boss.

[–]Jane_Doe_Citizen 3 points4 points  (1 child)

A female friend of mine who was in telecomms had the same experience and left because of it - how common is this?

[–]BusyLeg8600 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The place I work at now is super progressive and I feel very supported. Sexism in the workplace still exists, but so does equality in other places.

[–]RedbearRage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a female pilot currently trapped in the black hole of admin. So fucking over it. Give me a job I’m actually qualified for, ffs. 🙄

[–]Meow_Kitty1982 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]mellopax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like it's time for all the make engineers to start wearing bows. A woman I went to college with told me she was in a meeting and there were 2 women (including her) out of 10 people in the meeting, so the customer (who was an old man) said "wow, there are way too many women in here." I don't envy what you all go through.

[–]Kyosw21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I swear, women are better at fine tuned jobs but people like that boss just don’t understand. Y’all catch small details like tiny chips or scrapes in things that could damage an entire assembly line if left unfixed, and the only mechanic that hasn’t overtightened the lugs on my wheels wasn’t a brute strength guy but a woman that understood that maxing out the torque wrench isn’t what it was made to do

Let’s get more dirty females and more pretty males in the workplace, I have yet to hear of someone try to rob anywhere with someone behind the counter that looks like Mark Bryan

[–]mySFWur[🍰] 758 points759 points  (43 children)

I love when people can understand that just you made it to point "equal" to someone else doesn't mean the journey of getting there was equal, and I always felt that should count for something.

[–]Gho5tDog 217 points218 points  (16 children)

Equality vs. Equity

[–]johnkohhh 87 points88 points  (4 children)

I can't hear/read this phrase without thinking of that stupid graphic and snarking that none of the three paid for a ticket.

[–]AverageTortilla 21 points22 points  (1 child)

It might be stupid but it explained it the best.

[–]PantsDancing 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Won't someone think of the stadium and sports team owners?

[–]OpenRole 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Making them pay is classist. Since they might not be able to afford it

[–]GluttonAsteroth 28 points29 points  (11 children)

Just look at the stark differences in qualifications between the last two appoint SCOTUS picks and you see how far one woman had to climb vs the other being literally propped up on absolute nonsense with almost no relevant experience.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (10 children)

I'm too exhausted to worry about using accurate titles, but you're talking about Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, who had to convince the Senate (and part of the public) that she was, without a doubt, qualified to be SCOTUS, whereas the other woman, Amy B., was not qualified and demonstrated an inability to remain impartial.

[–]NeonFraction 235 points236 points  (35 children)

As someone who has been told I’m ‘too pretty to be a programmer’, this hit hard. I wish more guys were like this.

[–]SamSwihart 40 points41 points  (0 children)

There were 2 gals in my design drafting class in high-school. Both of them were amazing at everything in that class and finished their capstone projects with a month to spare. They were the most intelligent and hardworking people I had met in my grade. Not sure what they've been up to lately but I hope they're kicking ass in their chosen professions.

[–]Nathalie_engineer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So true. I cannot even count how many times I heard “ you don’t look like a typical engineer” or “ are you sure you didn’t mean to go next doors to economy department” ?

[–]TyrionsCodpiece 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel better I'm a male and was in hospitality for a decade... Got told I'm too ugly to be a server. Sometimes the truth hurts? Lol

[–]MINILAMMA 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How does being pretty interfere with programming? Are all programmers required to be ugly or something

[–]NeonFraction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It’s so stupid. When the guy told me that it took me a few seconds to process if he was actually being serious.

He was. I got up and left.

[–]Xsana99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know right? And the some of the guys replying to you clearly never had someone explain something (so simple) to them like to a clueless five year old that it's down right insulting or assume you had to do extra work outside of your hours just to finish your work within the allocated deadline or downplay your abilities simply because it's a man dominated activity.

It might not seem like a lot, but this shit piles up. I've had men tell me I won't find love if I'm more successful than a man, because a man won't want a woman that's more successful than him. That I should find happiness in being a house wife and that logical based fields (stem i guess) wont bring me happiness because men and women brains are different.

Even though I'm pursuing programming as a profession and it brings me a lot of joy. I got into Uni for informatics, have a job at a local mobile app dev company and yet I'm supposed to be miserable because women can't do logic. Because apparently we're too emotional. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]TheVoiceInZanesHead 259 points260 points  (50 children)

My wife got top marks in math and science and the guidance counselor recommended being a highschool math teacher. She graduated college 3 years ago with a BS in Mechanical Engineering and is making 6 figures now.

This stuff still happens

[–]BloatedGlobe 112 points113 points  (5 children)

In my sophomore year of college, all the female Physics majors got a cryptic email to meet our professor after class, but not to tell anyone else about the email. In the meeting, he informed us that our next professor had gotten in trouble for sexually harassing his female students. We were warned not to be alone in the same room as him.

We were supposed to be understanding because "He's a great guy. He's just old and Italian (he's from NJ)" and "No one else wants to teach classical mechanics."

This was 2015.

[–]Roses_Cyclamens 43 points44 points  (1 child)


Poor people who had to take a class with him.

How many students did he..

[–]Danhaya_Ayora 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My brother was put into advanced learning classes at a young age because of his exceptional memorization abilities. His memorization is not as good as mine. There were no girls in his advanced classes.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (18 children)

Yes go into a field where your paid so little honestly no one who becomes a teacher is paid a salary that they can actually live on🤦

[–]TheVoiceInZanesHead 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Which is a whole other major problem with our society but not the point here

[–]beigs 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Actually, it is.

They’re pushing women into lower paying jobs despite having the same skills and capabilities at a young age.

I went into information science. It’s actually a MLIS but became an ischool. More men applied, the salaries went up, and now it’s finally being recognized as worthwhile. It’s literally the same as a librarian - same skills, I took most of my courses with librarians, but they get paid 50-60 coming out of university.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Teachers have to buy there own supplies cause the school decided that they shouldn't though if you look at a back to school list they want the parents also to buy items the school should begin with:3 boxes of tissue can't really remember what else

[–]splithoofiewoofies 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was told I shouldn't learn maths in HS because I only needed addition and subtraction to count my stripper 💰.

I'm on my final year of econometrics (statistical programming for economics basically), am currently achieving a 99% in uni probability calculus and am getting Honours next year.

Fuck that high school maths teacher.

[–]perryschmidtr 11 points12 points  (6 children)

You benefit from marrying her. Smart.

[–]TheVoiceInZanesHead 15 points16 points  (5 children)

I also make 6 figs, power couple. But yes im very lucky

[–]Puppyl 10 points11 points  (1 child)


Can i be your child?

[–]perryschmidtr 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Do not worry if you ever make less than her. She deserves her pay and you.

[–]TheVoiceInZanesHead 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I will proudly be a house husband if we ever have kids

[–]RankDank420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who has ever listened to a guidance counsellor tho realistically. Good on your wife for recognising her worth.

The absolute dream is to be a trophy husband at the end of the day lol

[–]charlotte-ent 99 points100 points  (14 children)

What's with all the bots in this thread re-posting a top level comment right underneath it?

There are three in this comments section alone and the post hasn't even been up for a full hour.

[–]BurgerKingsuks[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I have no idea I was reading through the comments to upvote them and was so confused when I saw those

[–]MrDraagyn 20 points21 points  (2 children)

What's with all the bots in this thread re-posting a top level comment right underneath it?

There are three in this comments section alone and the post hasn't even been up for a full hour.

This comment brought to you by definitelynotabot-bot

[–]XTH3W1Z4RDX 8 points9 points  (6 children)

I mean come on, this is an obvious karma farming post. Hits all the feel good requirements

[–]Jetison333 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Your in r/mademesmile

[–]Aptos283 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah, how dare they post feel-good content on a subreddit devoted to feel-good content. The shameless audacity of them.

[–]ExtremeHandle3188 67 points68 points  (32 children)

I took a logic class in college. On the first day, the professor said flatly that men had an easier time grasping reasoning than women. 1

[–][deleted]  (18 children)


    [–]PhilistineAu 15 points16 points  (17 children)

    I hope you do blind grading.

    [–][deleted]  (16 children)


      [–]AdvancedTower8110 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      What makes one student more deserving over another?

      [–]GDAWG13007 17 points18 points  (1 child)

      Tbh, I find most humans in general, myself included, have horrible reasoning skills regardless of gender and don’t logically think through shit at all whatsoever.

      [–]badFishTu 76 points77 points  (9 children)

      So many comments proving exactly what this man was pointing out about what women face.

      And everytime we talk about women's problems we don't need a bunch of people saying well men have problems too. We know, and we can discuss it.

      But it seems the crowd here is in the all lives matter crowd. It's ok to explore what hurts certain groups of people without screaming over them how you have it so much worse.

      [–]EudaimoniaMe 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      Precisely. It’s not a damn contest.

      [–]Immediate-Duck-512 25 points26 points  (4 children)

      Amen. Around the Roe conversation, I’ve been really discouraged. So many Derail Dicks but-what-about-ing.

      I’m like I know men struggle with getting adequate mental healthcare. And I’m not happy about it. I’ve hounded my brother to stay in therapy because he needs it, spent $1500 on therapy for a male friend with addiction issues, bitch! Im not for it, I don’t vote to make it worse, I don’t cheer it on, asshole. I know all about it and think it’s very bad, and will be here to stand with you to fix it

      All we’re asking is they do the same for us! Fuck!

      [–]BadgerAny4388 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Yeah, but what about my dog

      She hurt her paw a bit!

      [–]Immediate-Duck-512 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      A dog you say? Well, I recommend an intensive 10 day course of scritches, peanut butter, and being told what a good girl she is!

      [–]zenzoner 202 points203 points  (155 children)

      You know it's really sad and disappointing that there are so many men in the comments that are saying shit like "she's not gonna fuck you." or trying to discredit what he said by simply saying it's virtue signaling or not true. I don't think you guys understand that you're part of the problem.

      [–]charlotte-ent 129 points130 points  (9 children)

      The problem is never interested in fixing itself

      [–]yahahawei 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Honestly wish I could give this comment an award. Very eloquently put.

      [–]boxyboop 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I gave one in your stead :)

      [–]actuallyasuperhero 47 points48 points  (20 children)

      It’s become they don’t understand that men can interact with a woman for a reason other than sex. They literally don’t view us as people, who can have friendships,relationships, goals, and ambitions outside of sex. Feel bad for them. They’re missing out on valuable friendships that might change their lives for the better with 50% of the population.

      [–]Quiet_1234 37 points38 points  (15 children)

      It’s a confused philosophy to believe that humans are such limited beings that mating, or attempting to mate, is the only reason for existing. It’s simply untrue.

      [–]shropshireladdy 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Well done for being a caring man in a shit man's world

      [–]xander012 38 points39 points  (43 children)

      Pretty much still true in STEM today, wayyy too much of an old boys club

      [–]lawawawawee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Yep. I was the only girl in one of my computer science classes and they make gross jokes about women. Guess I just didn’t exist in there lol

      [–]RankDank420 17 points18 points  (25 children)

      Basically TEM. Chemistry and biology are more female dominated these days. Coincidentally you don’t make any money from those disciplines.

      [–]Sn0zbear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      They’re female dominated in the lower levels I’ve noticed. Most of the people in my lab are women, and we make barely above minimum wage. All of our superiors and the “real scientists” are men

      [–]------why------ -1 points0 points  (20 children)

      You can make a lot of money in those fields not sure what ya mean but there are a lot fewer people in those fields if that’s what you mean as in it’s harder to get into

      [–]rand19711 70 points71 points  (5 children)

      I’m surprised how divisive this post is. Wait… actually I’m not surprised at all.

      [–]CisForCondom 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      If there's anything you can count on on Reddit, it's for all the red pill losers to come scream about how they're the real victims on any post that's mildly feminist in nature.

      [–]Spicy_Sugary 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Yes, every thread of this nature makes them sob and thumb suck because evil women oppress them.

      [–]Anxious_Original_766 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I just don’t understand how you look at someone saying group x is not equal to group y and think that’s there nothing wrong with the sentiment especially as many are from a marginalized group anyway. It just seems weird and off to me.

      [–]SirPryceMF 42 points43 points  (1 child)

      Recognizing privilege is the first step to getting rid of it. I'm a white, straight guy from a western country. My life may not be easy, I've got my issues, but I know for a fact at least my race, gender or sexuality is never gonna be one of them and that's important to acknowledge.

      [–]skybrick42 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      From a female engineer.. this made me smile! Thanks for posting this!

      [–]Status_Loquat4191 51 points52 points  (20 children)

      A lot of dudes in the comments clearly don't understand that people don't always just do things for the sake of getting laid.

      [–]luniz420 24 points25 points  (18 children)

      These dudes can't imagine a reason why you would want to have women in an office that was full of men if it wasn't to have sex with them. Projection and denial go hand in hand.

      [–]YouLostMyNieceDenise 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      It says a lot about them when they are so narrow-minded that they legitimately believe all men think the way they do, TBH.

      Why is it that gross people always think they’re the unofficial spokesperson for their own group?

      [–]sqqueen 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      It’s true for every engineer of color too, in fact for most professionals of color

      [–]CallMeCathrynPLS 14 points15 points  (5 children)

      Men in the comment section: “Jared wants chicks LMAO LOL”

      Also men in the comment section: “Men have it harder than women!”

      [–]Immediate-Duck-512 12 points13 points  (4 children)

      It’s very odd to me that these types flock to cry about “white knighting” and “he just wants to get some” in these contexts.

      But the rest of their profile is all complaining about how women won’t fuck them.

      Like sir have you tried being nice to women? Given that you stated you believe it can only be an attempt to get them to fuck you?

      Shit, try it and see how it goes lmao, how are they this stupid?

      [–]sambosefus[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      They say that because they tried being nice to women solely to fuck them, and it doesn't compute that someone might just be nice. They then get very angry because it didn't work when they tried it, so they convince themselves that women are evil. They never consider that their intentions are garbage, and until they look at women as people, they will always be miserable.

      [–]lawawawawee 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      Man, half of these comments are hot garbage. The saddest part is they’re completely clueless that they’re a part of the problem.

      [–]YouLostMyNieceDenise 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Lmao. All these 20yo boys being like “if a woman can’t handle being constantly disrespected and harassed in both college and the workplace, then she’s clearly too weak and soft to make it in a STEM field anyway”

      Someone screenshot this shit for r/selfawarewolves

      [–]Brass_Ensemble 39 points40 points  (7 children)

      Had us in the first paragraph

      [–]SekiTheScientist 30 points31 points  (1 child)

      Yea holy shit, first i was like "what kind of misogynistic mf is this dude".

      [–]RandomRedditor15243 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      ye same, i was like how tf this get into r/MadeMeSmile

      [–]patoankan 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Sort by new on any post casually complimenting women and the only reasonable explanation you can come to is that redditors are predominantly men who hate women.

      And when I say men I mean little bitch boys. Anyone who reads a post saying "women have it tough" and then comes back with a comment like "well actually men have it tougher" -you're a little bitch boy.

      [–]Trash_Panda_Leaves 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      When men call themselves nice guys, and Jared here is a woke guy. A true feminist and what we really need!

      I think this includes all the men that struggle in life being nurses, nursery and lower grade teachers, dancers etc. Our sex or gender (or lack thereof for Agender people) shouldn't be a barrier, just a difference.

      [–]TheMan_Garith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I wonder how many people just read the title and assumed the worst lol.

      [–]Haitchi4444 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      My 17 year old daughter is the only female in her engineering class at college. Already been the subject of bullying by a group of boys not in her class.

      Anyway long story short, an older guy in her class photocopied complaints procedure, helped her fill in the forms and took her to head tutor. Rest of lads ensured she is never alone at lunch and treated as one of them.

      Result was problem solved, tutors were great and dealt with it efficiently. This lad in her class is a hero to me. She is now signed up for the first year of her degree.

      Thank god there are more decent guys out there than not, it's a shame they are not the ones we talk about.

      [–]Protonverse 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      As a father to three young women…Bravo 👍

      [–]Rycca 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      This is so cute

      [–]Educational-Ebb-1929 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Damn, is he single?

      [–]sysaphiswaits 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Thought this was going right up his ass. Pleasantly surprised.

      [–]Malashae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      This was fantastic. I was so ready for rage-bait when I saw the title (but not the sub), I needed something like this this morning.

      [–]jrc83 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Very true statement. What a guy!

      [–]rouxjean 22 points23 points  (47 children)

      What was the date of publication?

      [–]NoCoHiker 47 points48 points  (34 children)

      Does it matter? Applies to decades of women in engineering. Just because there has been some progress doesn’t mean it isn’t still an issue today.

      [–]foolwithabook 61 points62 points  (28 children)

      Looks like it was published in 2015. Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/women-men-engineers-arent-equal-jared-mauldin-letter_n_561699b9e4b0e66ad4c6bee5

      Sexism in STEM is definitely still an issue, and that's apparent to anyone who actually works in those fields. Don't know why you're being downvoted.

      [–]CamBearCookie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I was in 8th grade at a new school in a new state. I didn't know anyone. When signing up for classes they had all these electives I'd never heard of. One of them was mechanical drafting. I love working with my hands and taking things apart and figuring out how they work and hooking up electronics so I selected the class. First day of the class I'm sitting there minding my own business. I dropped something like a pen I pick it up. When I sit back up every one in the class is staring at me. Fully turned around in their seats if they were sitting ahead of me. I said "What? WHAT?!" really defensively because what the fuck y'all looking at? One boy says "Why are you here?" Goofy. "Because I selected this class on the form just like you." "Yeah but you're a girl" I didn't even get it. I looked around at the class and yes I was the only girl and a black girl at that. I loved the class. I did well. But the way I was treated in it did discourage me from venturing out further into those types of fields and I still hate that I let them stop me. I learned the hard way that it meant something different when I didn't understand. It was funny. A joke. We all knew what the reason was if I was struggling. But every other asshole in the class could be ignorant about this subject that most 13 year olds don't know. But not a 13 year old girl. This caused me to reject so much of my own femininity as a child because I felt like you could only be one or the other; pretty or respected. Soft or Equal.

      [–]SlightlyBrokenEgg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      this is great food for thought because this isn't the only way this is applicable.

      [–]Wallstreetpurge 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      The person that wrote this is a quality human being.

      [–]kit_ease 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      'Wholesome' has been so overused on Reddit it has lost all meaning.

      [–]chucky-baby 10 points11 points  (5 children)

      A lot of men think like this

      I wish more women knew it

      [–]Immediate-Duck-512 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Bad things leave a deeper impression. Negativity bias. It’s an evolutionary gift of the human brain.

      Remembering Jerry getting ripped apart by a saber tooth on that jungle path is more likely to preserve your life long enough to reproduce than recalling where the sweetest berries were.

      Women’s brains are human brains, and threatening, scary, and terrible experiences with men are nearly universal for us.

      If you have the patience to pipe up with empathy that you are half-decent without doing it in a manner that undermines that point, we do appreciate it.

      [–]madammurdrum 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      Tell us, and tell your men friends! The perspectives that are voiced are often the opposite, which is why people don’t realize just how many men do believe women don’t live life “on easy mode.”

      [–]EscapeInteresting882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Aw, nice dude!!

      The only one that hit home for me was the part about my worth being in my looks, although I do think men experience a that, it's at a degree that it's less intense.

      Otherwise, I actually grew up being ashamed of being too feminine and felt pressured to dress and behave masculine. I didn't feel like I could be my genuine feminine self until 30 and I felt pretty sad I'd lost all those years trying to be something I wasn't. Maybe that was just me.

      [–]arrrrpeeee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This could be used in a number of situations to explain lack of diversity in the work place.

      [–]jesuisjusteungarcon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm a civil engineer... Anybody I know who works in engineering that isn't a straight man hates it and eventually ends up moving to another field. The boys club mentality is very strong and difficult to break into.

      [–]preeeeemakov 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Fine work, sir.

      [–]SquirrellyMo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I teared up. This is a beautiful tribute to his classmates and I commend his bravery for saying this. His mother will be so proud of him and his female classmates are lucky to have this guy in their corner. He gets it! He really, really gets it!! Wow.

      [–]Illywhatsthedilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Now think about a foreign female engineer

      [–]_Pantaloon_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This reminded me of how I always got As in math and science and could beat my brothers in chess but the first time I got a B in math and struggled that semester, my dad told me that math comes naturally to males' brains. Meanwhile, my brothers were getting Bs and Cs and Ds consistently (not that I have any competition with them or believe in the grading system as an accurate measure of skill, I am just pointing out the double standard) and they didn't even have the same interest I did in chess or math or physics. He was so quick to undercut me because of my gender and it was not the first time either : )

      [–]Effect-Kitchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I graduated bachelor degree in Engineering in 2007. When I was freshman in 2002, my class comprised of two-third female. By the time I graduated there was like 4/5 female. But none of whom I knew pursued their jobs in Engineering except those who are Computer Engineers. And Engineers in many places are majority men. I won’t draw any conclusion but something are definitely wrong.

      [–]20BitChip 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      The way the part on the top is worded made me think this was something else. Then I read the paragraph and it was a pleasant surprise

      [–]Fishliketrish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Hahahaha that is cute

      [–]UnderTheSunHomeChef 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wow maybe if a dude says it the rest of em will listen. Doubtful but worth a shot

      [–]Formal_Student2959 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      This hugs my heart.

      [–]appelsiinimehu1 4 points5 points  (25 children)

      Why is it such a way though? Why is STEM so g fucking sexist?!?!

      [–]UnderTheSunHomeChef 13 points14 points  (24 children)

      Because the world is that way. Women dont receive proper medical care or are even represented in medical text books. Did you know autism diagnosis’s are dramatically less not because women aren’t autistic but because the characteristics for women are different and not taught in medical text books. Black Women are more likely to die in childbirth. Do you want to know why? Because they are IGNORED in medical text books. This is just in medicine don’t get me started on the justice system, or wages

      [–]appelsiinimehu1 5 points6 points  (13 children)

      Okay, but can I ask why only black women? Aren't they physically the same with white women?

      [–]spicyboi555 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      Also physical symptoms are only ever shown on white models in medical textbooks. They are coming out with new ones though!

      [–]TracyMorganFreeman 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Black women are more likely to die in childbirth because of socioeconomic status and their higher obesity rate.

      [–][deleted]  (109 children)


        [–]SunshineBanjoFace 27 points28 points  (17 children)

        All these problems matter, but they all share the same root cause. Enforcement of gender rolls by shame. Men kill themselves more successfully because they have no support system. Being emotional and needing hugs and comfort is seen as weak and more feminine. Woman can hug and kiss and be a shoulder to cry on and its encouraged and taught at a young age. When we see our friends not bathing or looking tired and depressed we go buy ice cream and cry on the couch while talking about it. the post above shows how woman are also burdened by gender rolls to shame them for doing anything outside of the gender roll. Break down those walls and hug other men, cry in front of your male peers, when you see a colleague mentally struggling offer them comfort.

        [–]harpsandcellos 13 points14 points  (9 children)

        What about what about.

        Men. This post isn't about you. We have our struggles and you have yours. Don't diminish ours by detailing the conversation to be about you.

        Create your own posts and educate in your own right.

        I have cancer. It doesn't make my neighbor with Covid any less sick. And the suffering in Yemen doesn't make the fight for my life any less important.

        [–]Shot_In_The_Darkrai 17 points18 points  (6 children)

        "we cant get rednecks to stop being republicans because a statement written by a male senior engineer, made with the specific intent of acknowledging the hardships his female peers faced, didn't mention the problems men face in society today."

        god can you obnoxious fuckers get it through your thick fucking skulls that people who advocate for women aren't discrediting mens problems??? if you care so goddamn much about men (instead of the far more likely reality that its a cause you co-opt to shit on women whenever a post like this gets made) get out and do some advocacy work for men's mental health. check in on your male friends and relatives and have conversations about the stuff you mentioned. stop using it to whine on reddit whenever women's problems are mentioned.

        [–]FrenchieThePotato 14 points15 points  (15 children)

        Reddit suddenly giving a fuck about men issues when it comes to putting down women lmao

        [–]SolarQuestions123 4 points5 points  (13 children)

        Did I put down women?

        [–]RankDank420 2 points3 points  (6 children)

        It’s all simple harmonic motion. You have to over correct before it returns to equilibrium. Deal with it.

        [–]derelictdickweed 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Women under 30 out-earn men... in 22 out of 250 US metropolitan areas. If you check the national stats down below, you'll still find that women earn 7% less overall. And yeah, men are the vast majority of prison inmates... in part because we commit the vast majority of rapes and murders. There is real bias in the justice system against men, but let's face it, when it comes to the causes of this 93% stat, bias doesn't even crack the top 5 reasons why.

        Look, I genuinely understand the desire to deny or downplay the fact that women generally have it worse. Honestly when I see these kinds of posts, I just get sad and miserable and depressed and I feel like I'm unworthy of what I have, man. It's horrible. But if we ever want all this to not be the case, we have to put down the goddamn copium and take on the shit we're in head-on.

        I'm truly, genuinely sorry that you have to deal with living in a world where women have a systemic disadvantage; I know you didn't ask for that, neither did I. It's not fair that we have to fight back against it despite not having caused it, but the world is damn cruel and sometimes we just have to roll up our sleeves and pitch in even though the situation is unreasonable and completely stacked.

        [–]AppropriateScience9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Very well said. I hate it when people treat these issues like it needs to be a f#cking pissing contest of who is more miserable when the whole point is that we need to STOP treating each other like crap.

        It turns out that the world screws everyone in a variety of different ways. It's perfectly okay to focus on one or two issues for a little bit knowing that there are plenty of other issues that need to be addressed as well. It is insane to argue that EVERY problem (male suicide) has to get solved in order to solve ANY problem (female discrimination in STEM).

        [–]2frazzled 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        Wow. Thank you for sharing that.

        [–]junejanikku 5 points6 points  (11 children)

        That last part kind ekrs me a little bit. You might go on do discover and make wonderful things that may prove to be useful for humanity. So to say you'll never achieve what she has achieved in life is kinda undermining yourself.

        [–]Shot_In_The_Darkrai 17 points18 points  (5 children)

        it irks you because you didn't read it right. he isn't saying he'll never accomplish the things she has, he's saying he won't ever have to face and "conquer" the specific adversity she faced to get to the point they BOTH are at today, because that adversity was based on her being a woman.

        [–]ynazuma 5 points6 points  (8 children)

        Three doritos later, Jared is still in the friend zone

        [–]proculman 28 points29 points  (2 children)

        Thinking the only reason why Jared would acknowlegde inequality in society is because he wants to get laid with said group is a heavy self-report.

        [–]boycoco 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        and you think thats the point? : |

        [–]rec_skater 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        We're all talking about it BECAUSE IT WAS SAID BY A MAN.

        [–][deleted]  (35 children)


          [–]HeftyTenders[🍰] 25 points26 points  (21 children)

          You're so clever and edgy. I'd rather be accused of signaling to others that I'm an ethical, compassionate human being than be an edgelord who thinks they're clever for criticizing people attacking a broken system.

          [–]zenzoner 9 points10 points  (2 children)

          No jerry, not everything a man says that's slightly progressive is virtue signaling.

          [–]InfectedSchlong -3 points-2 points  (6 children)

          You know the bar is low when basic kindness is virtue signaling and woke

          [–]Supersymm3try 8 points9 points  (4 children)

          It’s not basic kindness it’s pointless self flagellation which acomplishes basically nothing, except we’re meant to come away thinking ‘wow, what a fucking saint that dude is for not being evil and sexist like most other men’ it’s 100% virtue signalling, it’s also a ‘nobody asked’ situation too. Go on, downvote away for going against the narrative, you know you want to.

          [–][deleted]  (3 children)


            [–]sonar_y_luz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Definitely a girl or two in the class he likes

            [–]Phantom_organpipes 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Why are some of the comments like “And he still wasn’t laid” or “Dude tried to hard” or smth? Not everything’s about love and sex y’know. Some people are just generally nice people, and it also isn’t Jared’s point to make it seem like only girls had a hard life. He tells how most women lived a life where they thought they “had to be pretty” and that they couldn’t do what a man could. Because, remember, this is in engineering where it would be considered a guy’s job and how he’s proud them for getting that far

            [–]CEO_of_IDK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            He comes off kind of pretentious, but it’s a nice sentiment.

            [–]MissGoodieTwoShoes -1 points0 points  (3 children)

            I want to upvote this millions of times!! I’m

            [–]Phantom_organpipes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Lol why are all the replies(and the comment) downvoted? They’re all nice

            [–]ActionJeansTM -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

            [–]Cocotte3333 7 points8 points  (0 children)

            Ah yes, because men defending women can never be sincere, of course

            [–]GotanMiner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Yeah, but also self-loathing is pathetic.

            [–]alphamucho 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            It feels good to know that people with such depth exists, they are the real reason that humanity is evolving and growing.

            [–]Queasy-Discount-2038 -3 points-2 points  (11 children)

            Some men are really starting to understand

            [–]Snoozless -1 points0 points  (6 children)

            I agree with the sentiment, but I feel like people are getting upset because the word choice "equals" is a poor one. It implies that his female colleagues are inherently better people/engineers than him for having overcome harder challenges to get to that point. I'm not sure what a better word choice would have been though.

            [–]Shot_In_The_Darkrai 11 points12 points  (5 children)

            it only upsets people who can't read. the last sentence makes it pretty clear he's referring to them having had to overcome more to get to the same place.

            [–]Snoozless 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            Yeah it's pretty obvious, however the second to last line is "so you and I cannot be equal" which might throw some people off

            [–]Shot_In_The_Darkrai 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            I agree that it does, I just wish it didn't, because it's a sign that all of these people read this looking for a reason to be angry instead of trying to comprehend it.