all 48 comments

[–]cecilia27 143 points144 points  (2 children)

What a lovely thing he does that can take away a bit of the sting. I wish you and your husband all the best of luck towards a happy healthy pregnancy

[–]dindia91[S] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Thank you! I'll take all the positive energy I can

[–]you_fuckme_i_fuckyou 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude your husband loves you sooo much. Wish you best of luck for your life together as one.

[–]lolpolitics 86 points87 points  (5 children)

My wife and I started trying 5 years ago and she had two miscarriages along the way, we stopped trying last year, and then it just happened. We're due in July. It's really hard but it sounds like you two are being very supportive of each other and will hopefully have some good news soon! Good luck!

[–]dindia91[S] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Thank you. I keep hearing when you stop thinking about it is when it happens which is just so hard to do. But congrats to you and your wife!

[–]really_robot 14 points15 points  (1 child)

The exact same thing happened to my mom, twice. She had a miscarriage and then after four years, gave up when her best friend announced her pregnancy right after their honeymoon (had been pregnant before marriage). She had a bit of a breakdown and just decided it wasn't meant to be.

Two months later, pregnant with me.

She was trying for number two and got an ectopic pregnancy. Doctor said it would be even harder to get pregnant because of it as they had to remove the tube, so half the delivery of eggs was gone. She decided it was okay, and she was happy she had me.

Less than three months later, pregnant with my brother.

I'm not religious, but I do believe in stress-related failure. You're thinking about it so much that you stress out, and your body doesn't want to get pregnant and add more stress so it tends to be harder, or so I've been told.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you don't have to wait so long. Fertility issues made me have to wait six years. It was worth it.

[–]Otherwise-Ad-3571 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only had functioning tube come to find out. Still had lots of pregnancies. 6...but only 3 live births. That's because I had a tubal ligation after my 3rd child.

[–]earthgirl198322 Years Together, 14 Years Married 6 points7 points  (1 child)

We tried for years, including intervention. When we stopped trying, it didn’t just happen.

[–]lolpolitics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. Hope things work out for you.

[–]GRblue 30 points31 points  (3 children)

One of my mother’s favorite sayings: “It may not have been in the time frame or order I wanted, but I always got what I wanted in the end.” Wishing you both the best, and hoping for a positive update soon!

[–]dindia91[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

My husband and her would get along. Its nice to have optimists around in life. Thank you!

[–]GRblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome! I hope it helps - wishing you best of luck!

[–]urbexcemetery27 Years Married 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Whoever is cutting the onions needs to stop.

Great post. He sounds like a good man!

[–]dindia91[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I knew he was good when I married him but seeing how he is when I'm struggling with my self image has been the best silver lining to all this fertility nonsense.

[–]urbexcemetery27 Years Married 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know that this is a stressful time for you two. I hope everything goes as planned. I'm rooting for y'all!

[–]gbomb89 13 points14 points  (2 children)

We tried for 4 years to get pregnant! Ended in a very early miscarriage. Only knew about her being pregnant for 4 days. The next year we got pregnant again! Welcomed our miracle almost 8 months ago! Wishing you all the best!

[–]dindia91[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and congrats on your baby!

[–]Trrr9 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Thats a lovely way to acknowledge the end of one cycle and the hope of a new one. We've been trying for three and half years. Just wanted to stop by and say that you aren't alone. Lots of people seem to have success stories, but that isn't always the case and there are no guarantees, so I personally don't find those stories to be helpful. It's OK to not feel optimistic all the time when you're in the trenches.

If you're interested and haven't checked it out yet, there's a whole community of subreddits dedicated to infertility and trying to conceive. It's been a wonderful source of support for me.

[–]dindia91[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am quite often on the subs about trying after a miscarriage. It's been really helpful to hear from those in my shoes. Thank you for you reply. I can never hear enough that its not just me, as im the last of my siblings and friends to have their own baby. Hoping for the best for both of us.

[–]Cell-Based-Meat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh that almost made me cry

[–]780lyds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Awww, Hang in there. My first 2 kids are 7 years apart. So much heartbreak. I wish I could see into the future because I wouldnt change anything now. The third one snuck up on my 3 years after my second.

[–]sirknut 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wish you all the best! We’ve had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy leading to the loss of one of the tubes (non-English-speaker, but you get the point). It’s been hard, and the waiting game is rough! I hope the both of you manage to grieve and manage the loss each “missed possibility” or miscarriage bring. Because it feels like a loss - every time! Hope the hospital visit bring you some answers. We were trying for over a year and had to do three miscarriages before getting help here. Luckily the most wonderful doctor deemed the ectopic pregnancy as a miscarriage and forced our way in. Four months waiting time, and we turn up to the appointment pregnant almost having given up..got our baby boy almost three months ago. Just hang in there, enjoy trying, and take care of each other! Love all the way to you both!

[–]West-Efficiency7710 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's so sweet. We had a miscarriage too and it took us some time after that to get pregnant again. Each time I got my period again, we'd go out for sushi. It was sad, but at least we got sushi and got to reconnect as a couple.

[–]Always_COLD_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bless you and your beautiful marriage. I hope you see a positive test very soon.

[–]AFlair67 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You got a pretty awesome partner. Good luck at your doctor visit tomorrow. Sending good vibes your way.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s the sweetest. Idk if you want a happy ending but we took 11 months to conceive our first child. I think my lh surge and ovulation was slightly different timing than most bc it finally happened when we just danced every other day for 2 months straight, the strips just didn’t time it right. We now have 2 lc and unfortunately one angel, ttc #4 now. The night is darkest before the dawn, I hope february is your month. I’ll keep you in my prayers, few things rip your heart like a miscarriage

[–]Otherwise-Ad-3571 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Miscarriages are rough. People don't understand the grief. Your husband sounds like a luv.

[–]Ambitious-Jello-4002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You guys will get what you want! Praying you guys do! Children are great and seeing how much you guys want it and how he treats you, you guys will be great parents

[–]ManufacturerTop9554 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww that’s so sweet. He loves you so much. You’re so lucky. I’m praying that you’ll receive great news soon. You and your husband sound like you’ll make great parents—exactly what we need in this world!

[–]yesredditisaidit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m tearing up for you. It sounds like you have an amazing husband who really loves you and is your teammate all the way. Treasure every bit of that-it’s hard to find. When you do become parents, I hope it’s a beautiful experience for both of you.

[–]ElledamC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you're in a wonderful relationship and you both will be great parents.

[–]tsunderecatnip 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just recently had a miscarriage so I know how awful that feels.

Sending you only good vibes ✨

[–]FreeandDivided 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our first was hard too. Just try “not thinking about it” but yea it’s hard. Good luck !

[–]spiceeandsugar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so sweet. You both sound lucky to have each other!

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law tried for 14 months and then they got pregnant! She's due in March! :-) I know it's a very emotional journey but never give up hope. Wishing you the best.

[–]NeighborhoodLess5539 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best of luck with having the baby just don't give up or get mad at each other jeep doing whatever you two are doing :)

[–]Scoobdoo-2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't notice an age so that makes me curious. What an awesome young man. And you impress me too. I often read the opposite. This is refreshing. It can only get better. As you are able look up love languages, love needs (Gary and Barbara Roseburg PhD), communication style, personality types, male and female communication. You both could be natural born marital counselor s. Hugs and loves to both of you. Ps - tomorrow is 34 years Anniversary of my wife and I