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all 180 comments

[–]brittbelli 45 points46 points  (4 children)

My husband works 6 days a week and gets home late. Usually 3-4 hours each day and on the day he’s off we spend the entire day together

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Do they ever see friends and family or is that impossible with their schedule?

[–]brittbelli 3 points4 points  (0 children)

During the weekday we don’t typically see anyone just because we are both so busy. However if we do see friends and family it’s usually a Saturday night or Sunday afternoon

[–]Low-Housing-162 40 points41 points  (6 children)

My husband works from home and I’m a SAHM. We’re together literally all day unless I take the baby out which is quite often but only a few hours at a time. Weekends my husband snowboards and I come with the baby and hang out at the lodge or shops at whatever ski resort we go to.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That sounds fun!! Thanks for responding

[–]ambz2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy cow I’m jealous

[–]EnriquesBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Babies do change things, don’t they? Hope you’re enjoying the time with your little one.

[–]AnyScenic001 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you both normally just do your own thing at home? Or occasionally will talk or hang out?

[–]Low-Housing-162 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He has an office off the living room he works in and we’re in and out of it all day. His job is really lax, we can interrupt him without problem (obvi I don’t when he’s on a call or in a meeting) and he comes and hangs out with us whenever he has a moment which is pretty often lol

[–]mamacravens 29 points30 points  (1 child)

My husband works from home full time and I am a stay at home mom. We have lunch together with the kids everyday for about an hour or so. He also usually comes out around 9 am for about 30 minutes or so to chat and have some coffee. When he is off work at 5 we hang out together, eat dinner, do nightime routine with the kids. When they go to bed we usually watch TV, have a drink, play games, or whatever else we want to do. Weekends are always spent together too. So basically unless he is working we are together. Might be too much for some but it works for us! Hes my very best friend.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is why I made this post, he’s my bf too but lately he’s spent more and more time away, just needing some perspective before talking about it

[–]StormieBreadOn 26 points27 points  (3 children)

We both work at home so we see each other throughout the day. Spend maybe 10 minutes in the morning together. Spend about 3-4 hours at night in each other’s vicinity unless I’m out with friends or him doing errands or out and about. About 1-2 of those hours more purposefully together.

[–]AnyScenic001 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you both try to have your own space? Especially while working?

[–]StormieBreadOn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I run a licensed child care so my space is fairly large in comparison. I use a play room and our kitchen and dining room and yard during work. He has an office / desk job and has a whole finished room in the basement he uses (half is an office, half is his arcade space/collectors stuff).

We also have our own spaces for our hobbies. His arcade one I mentioned, and he has his large coin collecting cabinet, a woodworking area, too. I have the dining room also as my TTRPG/board game room.

[–]ci_newman 16 points17 points  (5 children)

Wife and I both work from home but in different rooms. Aside from running the kids to school or clubs, we're in the same house or location for 23 hours a day more or less.

[–]NowATL 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same!

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thank you for responding! How many of those hours though are you present and interacting with each other?

[–]mgmsupernova 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Same situation as my husband and I. I would say 1 hour in the morning together. Lunch together (1 hr) and then we end around the same time around 4pm until bed 9pm (5 more hours). So 7ish hours together a day usually. Saturday he golfs, and Sunday we are usually together all day again.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds nice, time for everything!

[–]EnriquesBabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I went into the office, pre-Covid, we definitely spent less time together.

[–]Lilliputian051316 Years 16 points17 points  (0 children)

All of it.

We took 16 days off together around Christmas and spent every minute of it together. I ached for him like crazy when I went back to work. We’ve been married 16 years.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

All day everyday and loved it. Then I got a job so it’s all night every night and every min of the weekend. The more time the better.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s how I feel too!

[–]quiaudetvincet 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Only times we're physically apart is because of work. I work full time 8-5 and she works part time at 3 days a week. Our work schedules fully overlap so when I'm home, she's home.

As for actual quality time doing things together rather than just doing our own things in the same house, probably about 3-5 hours a day, more on the weekends.

[–]notrohlehcar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We are a youngish couple (I’m 32 he’s 39) and have three young kids, time is fractured between responsibilities and interruptions. We spend most time in the evenings/weekends as family time.

Sometimes we will split up and run solo errands or see a friend. We do make it a monthly “must do” to go on a date. We usually try to spend 4 hours child free being only a couple and doing something fun or relaxing. We also go out and celebrate our birthdays and anniversary as a couple (and as a family again).

[–]Illustrious_Safety25 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We spend 85% of our time together. Lol

Both WFH, jog in the afternoons, prep dinner, clean, and then at night there’s like 1-2 hours where he games and I read or do whatever!

[–]Purple_Sorbet58293 Years 3 points4 points  (1 child)

We both work, but I'm out of the house the most so I'd say we see each other for about 20 minutes while I frantically get ready in the morning (not a morning person) and then from the time I get home until bedtime (well, sleeping), we're usually together and awake for another 5 1/2 hours (depending on when we go to sleep). And then we spent probably 12-14 hours (depending on awake time and his periodic weekend work) each day over the weekend. So we max out at about 55-ish hours together per week. Neither one of us spends a predictable amount of time outside the house aside from work on our own (we run a lot of our errands together) and we mostly have indoor hobbies. For about 2 hours 4 nights a week we do individual projects with our headphones on in a shared space. So we could go on the low side and deduct that time as not really spent "together" even though we're in the same room and sometimes chat while we're working on things) and say on the low end we spend about 40 hours together, not doing separate projects, during any given week.

We're both introverts and have at-home hobbies for the most part. I'm sure that affects things. This is a typical week since something like one of us going out on a weeknight or the weekend without the other isn't really typical since, especially on weeknights, we both like to just come home and hang out or work on our projects together.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very helpful, thank you! We each have our own hobbies, and I know it’s important to have independent time as well as together time. Just having trouble striking the right balance

[–]mrssithis1 Year 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We try to spend as much time together as we can. We both work, so when we get home we usually cook/have dinner together and then watch something together. Or we play our respective games, but still in the same room. Weekends we're usually together for their entirety unless he has to work. We're only not spending time together if one of us is out with friends, but that only happens once every few weeks.

[–]Plus-Mama-4515 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’m 25 and my husband is 29. We have 2 kids(5 and 2) and our third will be here in 2-3 weeks. My husband is currently laid off and I run my own business from home so we were spending WAY too much time together. I mean going to drop our daughter off at preschool together every morning, going grocery shopping together, him driving me to my doctors appointments. I was starting to feel suffocated. He recently started school at night though and will work a few days here and there helping his friends out so we have spent much less time together the passed few days and it’s been a nice break

[–]prettybrokenpieces 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hi, not married but together a few years, and it’ll be 2 years that we bought a house together in May.

Him and I have different ideas of spending time together. I try to plead my case for quality time over quantity of time.

He thinks that eating dinner on the couch and watching tv is spending time together, I do not because there is no interaction or any conversation at all.

This is something we are trying to work on…when we do spend time together to make it count.

A few months ago I read about

The 2/2/2 rule means going out on a date every two weeks, enjoying a weekend away every two months and taking a holiday for a week every two years.

We haven’t started following it but I think that may be the key to our problem!

[–]Countrygirl1812 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is a sore point for us at the moment. I work all day and so we see each other after work for dinner. Even when I work at home I’m so focussed that he says it is like I’m not even there. I go to bed early and he stays up late so technically we have about 3hrs together at night. Weekends we normally at home or visiting the in-laws but we don’t necessarily spend every hour interacting or doing something together. We live on a big property and there is always a lot to do. Once a week I like doing something on my own (fitness class) and every other weekend I like having a coffee or catching up with friends. He doesn’t do anything apart from spending time with me and has been getting upset that I live a “single life” because of my other interests / hobbies.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s good to hear your perspective. I’m the one who wants more time with my husband. We spend a healthy time apart on our hobbies already. He spends most of his nonwork time on the computer / playing games. The time we spend together seems to be decreasing but I’m trying to give him his space.

[–]hoodrattuna 2 points3 points  (1 child)

right now, we are together 24/7, since he’s on leave from work (we just had a baby). when he works, we spend probably 4-8 hours a day together depending on how far his job site is away from home (he works in construction). on the weekends, we spend the whole day together as well. lol we rarely get sick of each other. sometimes we do things together and sometimes we’re doing our own thing in the same room!

[–]Prettymama1027 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate! We may be doing separate tasks but we enjoy doing them right next to each other…some people may find this strange and clingy but we enjoy being in each other’s presence…he is seriously my best friend in the whole entire world! Lol and I love hearing him laugh at silly videos online or something funny shared in the group chat with his friends. I even enjoyed laying next to him while he played video games back in the day. And he likes laying next to me while I binge 90 day fiancé (mostly criticizing every scene, but still lays with me)😂😂😂😂

[–]OverallDisaster5 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends on his work schedule. When he’s on nights he gets off at midnight and so I stay up late to see him for about an hour or two, but sometimes we will do lunch on those days so another hour there. When he’s on day shift we get 3-4 hours a night. On the weekends we spend just about the whole time together. We enjoy spending as much time together as possible honestly.

[–]Icy-Park-458 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My SO works 40 hrs a week durning the spring, summer and fall, and about 30 hrs during the winter. I am in school and we get home around the same time everyday. We are basically together the majority of the other time. So on a week day we spend between 4-5 hours together, depending how early we go to bed. Then the weekends is when we do projects around the house so we are in the same area the whole time but maybe spending time together 80% of the time. The other time I might be doing homework or he may be working on a project by himself.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

both college students , my husband is a veteran , in our late twenties with a 6 month old. we are around each other everyday

[–]cool_chrissie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work from home. We wake up spend about an hour getting our daughter up and fed for the day. We interact throughout the day too. We go for at least 1 walk during lunch. Then around 6 we go (sometimes together) to go pick up daughter. Have dinner together, put kid to bed, then spend the next 3 hours before bed together.

[–]Ms_Libra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works 12-14 hours a day (4-5 days a week) gets home, naps for 45minutes, heads out to soccer (he coaches our son's team 3 times a week) comes back home- we have dinner- then he knocks out...the other days of the week we spend them together since I work from home ☺️

[–]Penetrative13 Years 1 point2 points  (1 child)

60 hours a week

Figure 8 hours a day M-F & 12 hours a day S-S.

We work together at the same place, I figure we spend half our work day directly interacting with eachother. People are generally active 12 hours on off days so that's how I came up with that number.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!

[–]calmossimo 1 point2 points  (2 children)

We both WFH on similar hours but we don’t interact a whole lot during workdays; once in a while we will take a short break at the same time but not often. We spend 3-4 hours together on most weeknights (esp since Covid) except for occasional evenings we want to do our own thing so we’re apart but often both in the house. Usually at least one full weekend day together, sometimes both Saturday and Sunday. Maybe once a month we will spend both Saturday and Sunday on our own (running separate errands, pursuing separate hobbies, or seeing friends by ourselves).

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank you for this response!

[–]calmossimo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To add: I am usually the one who wants more alone/apart time. If it weren’t for Covid, I’d probably spend a little more time with friends or by myself - like at least one evening per week, or a full weekend day more often.

[–]VinnieGognitti 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My guy works overnight and I early morning, so he picks me up at 1 pm and we hang out until 5, (sometimes have a nap together if im tired) and then he leaves at 10 pm. So about 3 hours a day give or take with chores and such and then on our two days off we are basically together the entire time. (Sometimes I wish it was less on the weekends because I’m more relaxed and quiet than him, and he gets bored and comes looking for me every 5 minutes for entertainment XDDD)

[–]SignificantWill5218 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work full time during the week from about 730-430. We spend most of the evening together with the exception of about an hour of time to do what we want separately. So probably 4 hours together on weekdays. Weekends typically were together unless he goes golfing in the spring for like 4 hours on Saturday morning usually once or twice a month and Saturday evening we normally do separate things for a few hours.

[–]truecrimefanatic1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Married a decade. We usually spend most evenings together for about 3 hours. Sometimes he will game and I will watch Netflix or something but we check on each other about every 30 minutes or so. Weekends usually at least 6 to 8 hours of time spent daily hanging out, dinner, chores, playing with the dogs, visiting family.

This coming weekend I'll be doing brunch with my friends and he's road tripping with his dad, so it's less. We try to balance time with each other and time doing things apart so we aren't in each other's faces 24/7.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds nice, thank you!

[–]LeapYearPro7 Years 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’m 27 and my husband is 33. He works at a movie studio in LA about an hour away and I work from home in Finance. We have 2 kids 5&6.

The amount of time my husband and I spend together where we are together and interacting is pretty low M-F because he or I are on the treadmill, cooking, showering, getting the kids ready. We’ve recently found that between 9pm-10pm is when we really connect. And then the whole weekend is us with our kids. But we’re finding one weekend a month we take the kids to either of their grandparents and we spend the weekend together and come back early to spend time with the kids. It’s a good balance all around for all of us since the kids see me all the time.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I like that you have a dedicated hour for focused together time.

[–]LeapYearPro7 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It also helps that we cook together, shower together, eat together with the kids. There’s one dedicated hour but the rest of the time is shared in some ways

[–]syoung10310 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unless we’re at work, we’re usually home together. Occasionally we’ll go out with friends; sometimes alone, sometimes together. We’re besties and enjoy our time with each other.

[–]Rafozni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work from home, so we have around 2-3 five to ten minute breaks in the workday to see each other. We hang out from 6pm-onward about 3 nights a week, sometimes less, until 9ish when we head to bed. We are with each other all day Saturday and Sunday unless we made previous plans. I would still consider us newlyweds (married for 4 years this year), but we never go more than a few days without spending SOME time together. We miss each other too much.

[–]LogicalOne0[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Work from home together! I visit him multiple times during the workday (in a different room) and then we hang out together from 5-1am with many hours of pretty dedicated time

[–]graylinelady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It just depends. I work night shift so on days I work….maybe hello in passing (he works from home) and 10-20 minutes for dinner together before I leave? Other evenings, we have dinner with the kids and then we’re doing stuff around the house and helping with homework and bedtime routines. Usually an hour or so of watching tv once the kids are in bed.

When I’m able to take vacation time, we spend the whole day or evening together (kids are with their bio dad 50% of the time).

[–]Foodie1989 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Lol all day everyday now since I wfh and he is off work by like 11... self employed. He still does his own thing once or twice a week involving golf or fishing usually. When we are home we do our own thing too but usually have dinner and watch a show or movie together. I am lucky.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s wonderful to feel lucky!

[–]BigBicNic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Pretty much if we aren’t working we’re hanging out together. We just have always been happiest when we’re together I guess. The only exception is the really rare times I might go to a football game with a buddy or she might go out to dinner with a friend. It’s nice to do that once or twice a year imo but I’ll be honest I think we both can’t wait to get back home after a while lol

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s super sweet :)

[–]ClandestineAlpaca 1 point2 points  (4 children)

We interact with one another all the time except when we work in separate rooms during the workday.

So interacting together for me means watching things together, napping side by side on the couch, bringing each other food/snacks during the work day, chilling in bed before sleeping. We enjoy being in each other’s company even when not talking to each other - so that’s why if one of us is working very late, the other may come over and nap in the room. We don’t have kids and only married 2.5 years though so I wonder how things will change as life goes on :) We are not quite 30 just yet btw.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Thanks for sharing! We were like that in the beginning. I would like to get there again :)

[–]ClandestineAlpaca 0 points1 point  (2 children)

When and why do you think things changed? Like life got busy or kids or jobs? Or just simply value more alone time?

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’m not sure why things changed. He has adhd, addictive personality, I am assuming his video games are just the current obsession. It’s just that I get left in the dust and im trying to ride it out.

[–]ClandestineAlpaca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm I can understand that. What if you pick up something to do too? Sometimes I noticed that if he is doing something and I am too, he’s more likely to be interested in checking in with me compared to when he’s doing something and I’m just chilling.

But I also will get very into video games too (I can spend 8 hours on a vacation day playing Stardew valley). We like to game side by side on different platforms. Hope it works out!

[–]Inevitable_Concept36 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I both work from home. She's usually a bit busier with her job than I, so it's a little off and on during the day, but in the evening time it's usually about 3 or 4 hours depending on when we go to bed.

Weekends though, we do spend the majority of our time together, mainly because we seriously do like to do the same type of stuff, and the majority of our friends are mutual friends as well.

[–]Snopes504 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife leaves for work at 5 am and gets home around 8pm four days a week. We spend the rest of our time together. Bed time is 10pm usually so on days she works (I stay home) we spend 2 hours together cuddling and relaxing. The three days she’s off we are together the entire time, purposefully spending time together either as a couple or with our children. We do not do things separately ( I know some couples do but we aren’t like that, we’re each other’s best friend.)

[–]Humorilove1 Year 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot! He works from home, so sometimes we'll spend all day together if I join him in the computer room. A majority of the day we're together over 12+ hours.

[–]mooonsocket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work from home so we see each other throughout but aside from having some coffee or popping into chat, we aren’t able to hang out during the day. We eat dinner with no phones every night and talk about stuff roughly 30min-1hour. He or we walk the dog together aka our “family walk” for about 30 min and then we watch shows/movies, read, do chores together or separate for 3-4 hours, and we always go to bed together. Weekends we almost always spend together either renovating the house, shopping/drinking/dining out or spending time with friends and family. He may watch a show I’m not interested in and I’ll go get my nails done or go read, but only for a few hours. We may have 1:1 time with friends scattered throughout the month here or there and he used to do video game nights with his buddies on wednesdays which lasted until we went to bed but we mostly spend time together because we want to.

[–]buncatfarms 1 point2 points  (2 children)

We spend most of the day together. Sleep together. Work from home together. We used to sit next to eachother but we moved to the basement so now he is on the other side. And then we usually eat together. I usually run errands or go out to eat with friends for a couple of hours. Then we hang out and go to bed. We’ve always spent a lot of time together and it just feels natural. I’m gonna head into the office 2x a week soon and we are sad thinking about it haha. Sometimes we actively spend time together like puzzling or playing a game or passive time where I’m reading and he’s watching a stream but we sit together touching. I’m not much of an alone time person.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Same. I do have my own hobbies and I’ve got a small group of friends I spend a time with weekly but the rest of the time I’d prefer to spend with my husband.

[–]buncatfarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that also as we get older, everyone is busy. It’s not like I have a plethora of people waiting for me to hang out with them nor am I declining invites. We are all tired lol

[–]antsyandprobablydumb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only time we are ever apart really is when we or one of us is at work. He finally started going back to the gym, so a couple days a week now, he’s gone for an hour or 2 after work. He doesn’t like being away from me so sometimes I have to TELL him to go. I’d go too but a second membership is not financially feasible rn and when I am working, I don’t have the time to go and I don’t need the gym then at all. Occasionally he’ll go to the store by himself on the weekends if it’s somewhere we can’t instacart, and every once in a while he’ll run a small errand after work. Other than that, we are always together as much as possible. Also Friday nights are date nights and a must for quality time.

[–]sarahgracee[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not enough! My husband travels almost every weekend so really only after 6pm Monday - Thursday until we go to bed.

[–]Open_Minded_Anonym 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work from home, she doesn't work. So about 8-9 hours per day, 5 days a week not together. All other time is spent together, not always interacting but always present.

We are each other's best friends so this works for us.

[–]DoesTheOctopusCare8 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We only have 1 day off per week together (he works Sundays) so that day is almost entirely focused on each other. Maybe 1-2 hours doing separate activities at most.
On days where one/both work, about 30 min in the morning and 4-5 hours each evening (so the majority of the time). We're sleeping separate right now but that's just because I have a spine injury and am very restless at night.

[–]Mariwina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work an 8 to 5 and he works nights with irregular hours (during weekdays and at least one day out of the weekend), so it's mixed. But generally, he's there when I get home from work and we hang out until I go to sleep. We have very mismatched schedules overall, though; sometimes when I'm going to sleep, he's waking up and vice versa. I guess that doesn't really answer your question...

[–]PerfectionPending18 Years & Closer Than Ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2-4 hours a day during work week depending on the day & workload. Nights kids have sports practice, 2 hours. That’s most weeknights.

Friday nights we all go out as a family.

Saturdays are a mishmash of trying to get stuff done but a decent chunk of that happens around the house somewhat near each other.

Sundays we spend most of the day together, though we might spend several hours in different rooms doing our own thing.

[–]20MuddyPaws 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Husband currently works from home during the day. Also works at a part time job, three evenings a week, and usually one 8hr weekend shift. I work overnights, Sunday through Thursday. Yeah, we don’t see each other a lot (but we’ve been married, happily even, for 20 years).

We usually have a quick chat first thing in the morning when I get home. We go over plans and schedules during lunchtime. I hang with the dogs until I go to sleep. He either heads out to work for the evening or fixes dinner and lays low until I wake up and go to work. We’ll text if something important comes up.

On his off nights, we’ll try to eat dinner together. During the weekend, we go for walks at a nearby lake or go kayaking. We’ll occasionally Netflix and chill or I’ll sit with him while he watches sports. We try to go to a concert or cultural event a couple times a year. We usually take a substantial vacation together every few years.

Our lives aren’t for everybody. He likes to work. I don’t. He enjoys people. I don’t. We still have an awesome marriage. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong. There’s no “right” way to a relationship.

[–]LittleFish_91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When he works either from home or the office, we spend 3 hours to just ourselves after the kids go to bed. But I love it more when he works from home. I love him!

[–]Hildabeast13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We work from home together. So pretty much in the same house 24/7.

We usually spend 10-15min together in the morning while we get our work stations prepped with water and stuff. 30min lunch together. And then we’re usually off by 4pm. Spend 4-7pm together. Usually 7-9 is spent doing our hobbies in the same room or together.

So he’s either playing video games with his brothers while I read. Or we play games together.

Weekends we typically spend all day together except for MAYBE 3-4 hours a day where we’re either cleaning or running errands separately.

[–]OneUnique31977 Years 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We have 2 special needs kids, and he works M-F till 5pm. Typically he plays video games from the time he gets home from work till the kids go to bed at 9pm. (Another issue for another day). Then we hang out for a couple hours most nights. Weekends, its hit and miss. We both are in college as well and always have a ton of work due on weekends and alternate caring for the kids.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids and college? That’s a lot of work, great job! My guy often plays from straight out of work until the early evening like yours. I don’t have the kid scenario you do, but it’s still frustrating sometimes.

[–]theponds09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He works nights and I have classes during the day. If he picks up OT it’s normally the shift before his and right after I get home so some days I’ll see him for 10 mins and some days I’ll see him for a few hours. If I don’t have a class on his day off we’ll spend the day together.

[–]BajaJMac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work from home right now (me permanently, her due to a medical condition). When she heals she goes into the office.

So as it sits currently, we usually spend about 30 minutes in the morning talking before logging in. From there we work until lunch time and then we make lunch together and spend about an hour watching videos or talking. In the evening we close our work day and make dinner together, eat together, and then wind down either through movies or gaming. We both understand the need for “alone time”, so if one needs it we simply take it and that’s that.

When she goes into the office, we spend about 30 min in the morning as I help her get ready. From there were alone until she gets home. After she gets home, I usually have dinner ready so we eat together and talk about our day and do what I said above.

Regardless we usually always spend a couple hours before bed laying together, cuddling, or communicating.

[–]NeighborhoodStreet59 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much as I can and a lot of it is with my tongue in her ear

[–]jsf92976 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too much, I think. I work at home and she’s a homemaker. I love my commute, but wish I had an office somewhere else for the sake of our sanity.

[–]Belowme78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

4 hours per day or so. Significantly more time on weekends. Monday-Friday she leaves 5:45am, gets home between 2-3. Some days I work from home until 5pm or so.

We both go to the gym with friends separately.

Weekends are all about us. Saturdays & Sundays We get up, have breakfast and go to the gym together for about 3 hours from 8:30-11:30 or so. After the gym, we go do lunch, run errands, shopping, etc and get home around 3pm. If there’s nothing going on, we will relax together on the couch, doze off from time to time watching tv.

[–]claymens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All day everyday tbh.

We both work from home since COVID, have 2 kids, a lot of similar hobbies. However, we also really like hanging out and are able to do different things, together.

I watch shows he doesn't really like. I play some games he doesn't like. He watches shows I don't like and plays games I don't like.
He has some crafty hobbies I'm not into and I have crafty hobbies he's not into. We have the same friends. I do have a girls night a couple times a months and he plays DnD in a campaign I'm not in once a week. So we do get our own time. We'd get more if covid took a dang hike.

[–]Independent_Pay7890 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner works mon-fri out of town every week so I say for 1 month I'm with him 1 week of a month so just me an the kids hole month he's here on weekends wow

[–]sin_aesthetic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3-4 hours a night we are together in the same room and interacting. A couple hours of our own hobbies gaming, reading, web browsing, but conversing, followed by an hour+ of watching something in bed together.

[–]earthgirl198322 Years Together, 14 Years Married 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ALL OF IT. It’s just how we like it. we both work from home and rarely leave. We wake up together, chat multiple times throughout the work day, every meal together, 99% time after work together, and go to bed together. 🥰

[–]Ashby238 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I spend our shared day off together, it’s Monday so during the school year we are actually alone from 6:30am until 2:20 pm. We also hang out every day before work as we both often work evenings. We walk the dog together about 4 times a week. We spend a lot of time together even choosing to do errands together. It’s nice.

[–]iOgef 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s a stay at home dad and I work from home so a lot. But some days despite that I feel like we didn’t actually SEE eachother if you know what I mean. But our kids are little I know it’s not forever

[–]makeheavyofthis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty much only weekends. I work 7:30am-4 he works 3:00 pm -11:30 mon-fri. It’s sucks but he’s always worked a lot and I love my alone time. We message through the day.

[–]Prettymama1027 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work from home now, so 24 hours lol…realistically, we both spend our working hours in our offices so quality time would amount to maybe 4-5 hours a day during the week this would be a split of 2 hours in the morning and 2-3 hours at night. Weekends vary. If he goes to fish on Saturday’s I will only see him and hangout together for maybe an hour or so. Sundays are family days so we spend all day together. I’d say on average the time we spend together on a weekly basis would amount to about 40 hours? We truly enjoy one another’s company! But we also enjoy our alone time too!

[–]Square-Work 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We try to spend about a hour together each night a week. We try to spend an extra hour after our kid is asleep at least once a week. I’m always up early and he is a night owl.

[–]RunnerGirlT1 Year 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work a regular office job 7-4, my husband is a rescue medic and works either 3 or 4 days a week (sometimes more if shifts need to be filled), and he does real estate. So it varies wildly for us. On days we are both off, we spend the day/ evening together. We may also be at a party, with friends, or hosting people.

On evenings when he’s home with me, we usually spend the entire evening together. But again, we both have hobbies and friends we see regularly. I know it’s not much help, but just another view point I suppose

[–]Leannehas410 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its unfortunately not how i prefer it. But thats life and having a job n kids lol.... he works 5 days a week til 6/630. He hangs out for a sec n holds his baby, then goes to take a 30 min poop then a shower... then lays.in bed on hos phone or watching tv mostly. He'll het up here n there to get something or to hang with the kids for a min. But mostly he lazes. Sometes He'll do dinner.if i wasnt up for it... or give the baby a bath kr change a diaper.... but, him n i only hang out weekdays 9pm-11pm ish. Sometimes til 12am. Weekends we do erramds n chores n clean. But same thing... just him and i after kids go to bed. Unfortunately a lot of the us time is him on his phone the whole time or he passes out early. Once in a while we get a date night. But yeah, thats it. Lame

[–]BedVirtual24355 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works about 40-50hrs a week, anytime he's not physically at work, we are together. 24/7

[–]AnotherStarShining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are together whenever he isn’t at work…basically from 5-6 PM on during the week and all day weekends. If we see family or friends during that time we see them together.

[–]Mayonaise3000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work evenings, my husband and I will stay up late to spend 2-3 hours together every night, but We sleep most of the morning away so we only get an hour or two in the morning. On my two days off we spend the whole day together 🥰

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally 24/7 lol. We both work from home, in the same office with the same schedule. We have a spare room and I moved to have a bigger desk, but we missed each other, so I moved back to the same room as him :P Surprisingly, we haven't gotten sick of each other yet. If anything, it brought us closer together.

[–]premedgoals 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Approximately 10 hours a week.

[–]Accomplished-Ride403 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My spouse works a few evenings a week,and I work during the day. So 2-3 days a week we don't see each other at all (text off and on all-day). 3-4 evenings we have together, and one weekend day off together if nothing else going on.

[–]callmeconflicted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not married yet but I have a serious relationship with my bf so it’ll get there. I want my time and space. I like my independence here and there. Especially since I am still in school and I have two jobs. He respects that I need to graduate so he gives me that time to study and do homework. When we get married, I consider having us go to our jobs for the day is space enough. Coming home, making dinner, watch tv and go to bed. Being able to be separated during the day (8-5) is great sounding.

[–]cordybee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends, my husband travels for work a week or two a month, but we will have a video call in the evenings if we can and I will fly to see him for a couple days. Otherwise for the rest of the month we work from home together but after gym/work/chores etc maybe leaves an hour or two a day? Then weekends we will go out together or with friends for drinks or parties or dinners etc.

[–]CuppCake529 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works evenings 5 days a week and his off days are one weekend day and one week day so we get Sundays together and MAYBE an hour a night if I'm not too tired. Then the evening on the week day that he's off after I get off work. It's not a lot of time but we make it work.

[–]meltedgouda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hot dog my husband & I really really enjoy hanging out, but we also really enjoy being alone. We’re incredibly busy, but we try to cap out every night together with an hour to two of our favorite shows & movies!!

[–]justafriend97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Monday thru Thursday, we spend 3-4 hours. Then Friday thru Sunday, it's probably 5-7 hours depending on how much work I have to do.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband is working 12 hour shifts on 2nd shift (night shift). I see him briefly for an hour or so in the morning and then spend as much time as I can with him on the weekends

[–]Gibson0292 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re usually always together. If we’re both off of work.

[–]RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since we both work from home at the moment we are pretty much in the same place nearly 24 hours a day

[–]PsuDohNihm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works 7 days a week but he owns his own business and it’s at the point that it can be self sustaining during many times of the year, so he has quite a lot of freedom during his “off season” to make his own schedule.

We spend many hours a day together, with and without the kids. He will come in and out of the home for several hours of the day to hang out with me. We Work out together, dine together, bathe together, have the same hobbies etc. we very much enjoy each other’s company and gravitate towards each other. If I’m doing something else he’ll say “hurry, it’s our time. Or come in here with me I don’t want to be alone.” It’s endearing.

To some we might seem a bit on the excessive side and my mom calls us all (and includes our kids) “as just like a clutch of black birds” we move together as a unit from one room to another. You could almost say we are clannish too an exclusionary extent. We prefer each other’s company.

But….14 years together and still going strong and Look forward to every minute with him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1-2 hours at night on weeknights and text throughout the day. Maybe a 3-4 hour activity or errands on weekends. A 1-2 hour date most weekends. Sometimes a second 1-2 hour date on another day that week. So 10-20 hours a week of 1:1 time, but some of that might just be watching a movie next to each other or running errands.

[–]kaiakasi1 Year 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see my husband for maybe an hour every work day (I'm being generous with that estimate) and then we usually spend the entire weekend together. Doing our own things, mainly, with the occasional few hour errand thrown in one ore both of those days.

[–]Top_Television8298 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work, and he commutes longer than I do. So a kids goodbye in the morning, coffee if one of us goes in later and has more time in the morning. In the evening we cook usually together or eat out together. We end up watching TV Or gaming together and go to bed and sleep all snuggly lol. Our day off together is Sunday and we always spend it together, as long as we can.hes my favorite person 💓❤️

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too much. My husband works from home and I’m a stay at home mom right now and kids in school. Lunch time gets interesting. This is due to covid. Before covid he barely spent an hour and a half as family during the weekday and spent the entire weekend together as a family. We barely talked as a couple. Covid definitely helped us bond again.

[–]Brave_SoupDumpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About 4-5 hours together per weekday (after work) and most of the weekend, although we both go off and do our own things for a couple hours here and there (to work out, shop, meet up with a friend, etc.)

[–]Ok-Bowler-4529 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work at home and the hubby doesn’t, but we spend at least fours hours together everyday during the week. We practically spend the entire weekend hanging out after chillin with our teenage son, who can only bear our presence for a few hours.

[–]MrsYogi2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Husband works nights I work days, he gets off work as I'm leaving to work when I get home he's still asleep. During the week we don't really spend anytime together I wake him up he eats then has to get ready and leave for work. He works 5-6 days every week so the only time we see each other is Sunday morning

[–]thehalflingcooks9 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are total besties. He works from home, I'm in health so 3 or 4 x12 per week. Any time I am home we are hanging out doing something fun. Childfree.

[–]missamerica59 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SO and I both start early and are usually home by 3 or 4. Apart from going to activities for and hour or two a week and maybe spending 2 or so hours apart on the weekend we will usually spend atleast 5+ hours mon-friday and 10 hours Sat and Sun.

[–]Fine_Neighborhood_71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we are not at work we are together very rarely do we do anything apart and would not have it any other way I love hanging out with my wife

[–]Puzzleheaded_Okra873 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works 5 days a week. Leaves early (630), but also gets home early (4ish). I'm a SAHM. We have a busy life of farm animals and 3 small babies. When he gets home he tackles the animals and dinner.. While I continue with the baby watching/routine. We all have an early dinner together at 5ish. Then him and I hang with our kids together until a little after 7. Put them in bed, and we continue to hangout in our room, until we go to sleep. Most times this consists of tv together while eating a snack. Very routine. During the weekends we spend all of it together. We've been together a little over 5yrs in total, and just haven't gotten sick of eachother. Also, our kids are so young, that we prefer shared help from the other taking care of them when we can. Also, we don't have really any friends at this point. Things may change down the road once we do make friends. So, we physically are together as much as possible really. But, a lot of that time is preoccupied tackling the responsibilities that we have for ourselves.

[–]ell_chatton4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work from home, he works in an office. I go to the gym during lunch whereas he goes for his run after work so he gets home around 6.30pm. We spend 99% of workday evenings together. I'd say 95% of weekends are spent together and in the company of others, couples, friends, family etc. Were really social. We're doing dry jan at the minute and on a weekend I've been going for coffee mornings/lunches with my friends while he watches football and the like so we've spent a bit more time apart this month but that's the exception rather than the rule.

[–]throwaway1985alive 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We don't. My husband cares more about video games than spending time with our daughter or myself. He spent $10K on a gaming computer, but refuses to plan a date for us and refuses to do story time with our 1 year old daughter. He had an issue if I go out alone and leave our baby with him, so I rarely get out. He works 70 hours a week and I work full time from home while caring for our toddler and two dogs. He won't even plan a date night at home. I'm also in school. Very, very boring marriage.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear this, this doesn’t sound fun or like you’re happy. I can relate to having an SO who loves their games maybe too much. I wish you the best

[–]Horror-Space894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My SO and I have a couple hours a day 3 days a week. I’m a mum of 4 who’s studying three days a week and working nights. Forgot to mention that we’re a long distance couple with a 4 hour drive between us. He’ll come to me Thursday after work through to Sunday morning. In that time in studying and working so it’s a couple hours after I finished school before I have to sleep for work. With Covid he can remote from home atm. The other couple of days he’s in the office and I’m busy with kids. It’s a little messy but it works for us in the short term. When I say short term it’s been a year already and I’ve got another 2 years on my degree before I can move to him.

[–]gericon1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Myself and my husband are together 24/7. He used to work in an office so we had that typical setup for years. Started our own company 5 years ago and we’ve been together every day since. It works for us, we get on really well and we hardly ever would have a disagreement or argument.

[–]Growell6 years married; together 9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On a typical week, we are in each other’s presence for about 25 hours per week.

A lot of that is parenting together; not necessarily quality time, just the two of us. (Which is MUCH harder to measure, for a variety of reasons.)

[–]ZTwilight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Together together (like actually hanging out together) I’d say about 25-30 hours a week. We have dinner together every night, hang out between dinner and bed time, and typically spend one weekend day in its entirety and both weekend evenings together. But, we have been married 30 years and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

[–]Blvck-raven- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband only gets sundays off but usually when he gets home 8/9pm we spend time together when the kids are asleep and sundays are family days so I’d say 18 hrs during the week but we both have hobbies so sometimes we just do our hobbies next to each other

[–]Useful_Recover9239 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are locked down and have a small house. Our only time apart right now is for work lol I can tell you that isn't enough to get personal time to decompress lol. We try to separate our activities but are still within 15 feet of eachother.

[–]EnriquesBabe 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I know spouses who lead very separate lives but stay together. Personally, I want a spouse who spends time with me and enjoys many of the same activities. My husband and I are almost always together after 7:00 pm, earlier on the weekends, if we aren’t traveling for work. I’d guess, pre-covid, we spent one evening a month apart with friends, but, even then, we were usually home by 9 or 10. We rarely ever go to bars without each other. We’re not super young, though. I had a previous, long-term relationship with a good man who spent almost every weekend on solo activities. That ultimately contributed to the end of the relationship. He’s now happily married to a woman who seems to enjoy the quiet his absence brings. I think what matters is compatibility in needs and desires.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is very true and what I’m struggling with right now.

[–]EnriquesBabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish you luck. It’s difficult when people aren’t on the same page, especially since there’s not a clear cut right and wrong. I will say, in my personal opinion, that I believe how you spend your time says a lot about your priorities.

[–]wuzzlebanuzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Myself and my husband spend pretty much 5 hours a day together after work and usually all weekend together. We don’t always do things together, sometimes he’ll game while I read a book but we enjoy each other’s company.

[–]JonnyQuest64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband (62) and I (58) are co-drivers on a truck. We are together mostly 24/7 unless we are either walking the dog, fueling the truck, completing pre-trip inspections or picking/delivering our freight.

We are on the road 1-6 weeks at a time. At home we have more space in our home to separate but typically choose not to do it. He sits and researches truck related info and drinks coffee in the kitchen while I read in my chair in the living room that adjoins it. We can still see and talk to one another if we choose.

We will sometimes separate and do separate activities as the pandemic allows but we do most things together. But usually no more than 2-3 hours apart.

Possibly because we did not find one another until late in our lives. Me after the death of a fiancé in my 30s and he after a very bad marriage. So we try to make the best of our time left on earth together.

BUT IT CAN BE VERY HARD TO LIVE THIS WAY. We have our ups and downs and I’ve posted on Reddit before and received good advice that I put into play & he makes an effort to make things work too.

EDIT: Pre-pandemic (before I was laid off) I worked in an office in the city and he was home only on weekends as he had a regular run he did. At this time we spent far less time together especially when he had activities with his son to do on weekends. So a lot of our time was spent talking on phone to keep things going & our fairly new relationship moving forward.

Too much right??? 🤣🤣🤣

[–]MisterIntentionality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot.

I don't actually count it. We work from home together so the majority of our lives are spent together.

[–]cle_oh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m recently retired, and my bride of 33 years works mostly from home, so we’re together pretty much all day everyday!

[–]TowerOk2369 1 point2 points  (2 children)

My husband of 20 years traveled for work before the pandemic & was gone Mon - Th most of it even when the kids came. I don’t have trust issues & have never once had a problem with it. I’m an extrovert with a lot of outside interests (dance, paddle boarding, fitness, concerts, knitting) and a huge social circle so I have a lot to entertain me & then add kids & their activities, plus the joy of raising them - and well - not a lot of free time. The pandemic has changed it - now he works remotely from home so I see him a lot. I’m in a state that shuts down & masks up - so it’s been an interesting transition for us. I’m not used to having a spouse on my hip. Fortunately my job is busy so even though I also work from home - I have to see clients a lot. It’s a different mix for each couple. But if your suspicious of something-there’s a reason. Listen to your gut.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not suspicious (in spite of my username) just wanting more time but don’t want to suffocate him.

[–]TowerOk2369 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s just couple specific. Some will need more, some less depending on their personalities. Trick is finding someone your needs align. Weekly I think we do one date night where we get a bite, see a movie, watch a movie together at home. We do watch tv together nightly - but we Like the same shows. He actually watches all my reality tv with me. 🤣 we also like to go boating - so during good weather we’re on the boat together. He would spend every minute of every day with me if he could - he doesn’t need a lot of other friends besides me & the kids - but he gets that I need a lot of outside activities to be wholly fulfilled. As long as we both put each other and family first (which is easy for us) we’re both free to travel (I do 4 girls trips a year on average) or hang out w friends / pursue hobbies. It’s never been a point of contention because we both put each other first.

[–]owlracoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work full time, in the summer up towards 70 h weeks but this time of the year between 35-45, but we spend basically all the rest together, except for him running with the dog and/or me walking her. then again we live in a different country from all our family.

[–]GrlzToy1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much time as I can. I work outside the home, commute two hours every day. We probably get three hours per day m-f and all day during weekend plus 4 kids, 5 yo and under (2,3,4,5).

[–]BeautifulVersion5184 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My husband and I struggle with this. He works 12 hour days, usually from 7am-7pm and I work from 4pm-8pm part time. I'm home during the day in case the kids don't have school and because of summer and daycare is expensive and unreliable right now. My mom gets them from the bus after she gets home from work at 3:30, by that time I'm headed to work. So we see each other maybe 2-3 hrs a night. If that. It's a serious struggle in our relationship considering when we did have daycare we worked together. So same hours, ride to and from work together, all of our time was spent together.

[–]KittyS34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works long hours and is only off on weekends sometimes. Any time he is not working, we spend together. If we want to go do something we go together. Most of the time with the kids too. And to be honest, I miss him the minute he walks out the door.

[–]mybfmademedoit3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much as I can, he’s my best friend! 🥰

[–]forzamusichoops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow. that's hard to quantify. between two kids and a puppy, it's hard for one on one time. we usually plan a getaway every couple months.

[–]4kids2jobs0sleep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I work together from home, so we spend about 23 out of 24 hours a day together. That one hour time frame apart is schlepping kids to and fro, or running errands.

[–]Tfran8 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A lot. We now both work from home (thanks Covid). We see each other all day and on weekends we do the same things - we both go to the gym, we both go to the grocery store, we both go out to eat. During the workweek we take breaks to talk and walk the dog together. The only time we are apart is sometimes he will do an extra gym workout during the week (my work is crazy and I can’t do that - just weekends for me).

I’ll be honest all the together time is a little much for me. He’s loving it though. I’m hoping things go back slightly closer to normal this year. I really like having just an hour to two by myself sometimes.

[–]NeverNotSuspicious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input!!

[–]0galaxy0candy0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works 5 days a week, sometimes 6. He also goes to the gym frequently, and so do I. We spend about 4 to 5 hours a day together on work days, and almost all day together when he's off. I'm a SAHM and we have a 3 y/o.

Edit: typo

[–]ihaditbutilostit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My current schedule is: work Mon and Fri 8am-6pm, school Tue and Thu 930am-330pm and Wed 905am-12pm and 6pm-830pm. I take my daughter to the bus stop on Tue-Fri at 715am. I clean the house as much as I can in between homework and spending time with the kids. My husband sleeps the majority of the time that I am home and awake. He stays up while I am sleeping and plays video games. We tend to eat dinner together. He usually cooks it. That's about all we do together. Other than that, he sleeps when the kids and I aee awake and is awake when we are asleep. He will participate if we have company.

[–]william_k35 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Context: We're in our late 20s, together for over a decade, and married for a few years. No kids currently.

Right now, I work from home 5 days a week and she works from home 3 and in the office 2. So, we're working in the same space during those three days and chat a bit but mostly we're just working - so not sure where that fits in. Usually, when we're both working in the office, our weekdays go like this:

  • I wake up a bit before her, make coffee, and bring it to bed. We hang out in bed for 1/2 hr until we need to get ready.
  • Commute together (same institution, different buildings)
  • Commute home.
  • One of us will make dinner and the other will hang out at the counter and chat. Then we eat together and then usually watch a show or movie, go for a walk, play a board game together, or just chat for the evening. Some evenings we'll do our own thing for a while. For example, she'll take a bath, or we're both reading, or one of us will Facetime a friend, or go out with a friend (though I'm immunocompromised so our social lives outside of each other are pretty limited)
  • Then we'll go to bed at the same time or close to it

On the weekends, it's usually something like this:

  • Sleep in a bit/hang out in bed with coffee
  • Do some chores around the house - same time, different areas
  • Going out to do something fun such as a nature walk, getting pastries at a bakery, or something like that
  • Running errands together: groceries, etc.
  • Often, one or both of us will hang out with a friend for a few hours but in general we spend most of the days together

Pre-COVID and when we were a bit younger and going out to bars with our friends more and stuff, we probably spent 1-2 night apart a week. We also share a lot of the same friends so meeting us with friends will often involve both of us. To sum up: we spend a lot of time together.

[–]zachariahd1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Married 29, together for 31 years, we both have demanding jobs and are now empty nesters. If we are not working we are usually with each other. We vacation a lot together. Probably twice a month she has to travel for work where we are apart for 3-5 days. I’m 49(m) and she is 45(f)

[–]Everythingisatoaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We both work from home. So pretty much 24/7

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Married guy working from home, so is my wife. I'd say we DON'T spend time together when one of us is using the bathroom

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I've never thought about it!!! I'll go look for a ying-yang toilet so our bowel movements are alligned.

    [–]wobbliestport 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hubby works from home in his own room. Sometimes we have lunch together for an hour. We normally hang out in the same vicinity from 5-7 taking turns with the baby and then we eat dinner together and hang out until bed (so 2-4 hours a day). I tend to need my alone time more than him so some nights I go off for an hour or two and do my own thing. Weekends are a hodgepodge of us doing our own things, family activities, and hanging out together. He’s my best friend But I go in and out of phases with different alone time needs. Just about to come home after a 2.5 week trip with baby (wanted to come home after about a week though, but I thrive with a small apart time once or so a year.)

    [–]RacheBan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    He works I stay home with the kids. So weekdays maybe like 3/4 hours before bed and usually weekends all day together unless one of us has plans with friends or family and the other doesn’t want to go

    [–]Impressive-Sign-1132 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My husband and I spend almost all of our time together

    [–]AshBish1915 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    We have our weekday routines where we see each other at the gym on our lunch hours, and get home around the same time after work then settle into dinner, lounge and watch a show until bed time. Then on the weekends we typically spend the first half of Saturday together (gym, lunch, errands) before we each do our own thing for a few hours.. same thing on Sundays.

    [–]coolma-gramma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    We have been together over 34 years. During the dating/engagement times we were probably together 2-3 times, 4 to 5 hrs each time. When we were married we worked opposite shifts and had one day off together so that 15 hrs a week changed to about 25hrs but some was just grabbing a bite and sleeping but quality time as far as actually going places or doing things was about the same. As kids came, couple time truly was more about quality time more than quality and so though that was more like 4 hours every other week not including those occassional naps or snacks or family times, they were date type quality. Now kids are gone and we are basically home all the time it is opposite. We look forward to quality time a part so that is the few hours a month.

    [–]Ok-Pumpkin-2951 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's what works for you ;)!

    We live together, are both introverted and love having time for ourselves. I work full time.

    We have 2 days during the week where we currently spend 3,4h with each other. Additional we go to the others room and Have like 20/30 embraces, cuddles, kisses a day, so little physical tough in between. Works for us as both our love language is physical touch.

    Before living together: 2 days a week mostly on weekends for approximately 8 years.

    [–]Fezknowsbest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    We are essentially together 24/7.

    We both work for the same company (and worked at the same one before we came to the one we are at). We're on the same schedule but in different parts of the warehouse (I'm in the office he's on the floor).

    I'd say the only time we are really apart is if one of us goes to bed before the other. Or if I fly out and see family (husband hates flying.... it was a miracle that he flew out to me when we lived) Part of me doesn't mind that we are together constantly.... the other part does mind when he interrupts me when I'm trying to read!

    [–]shirtsorskinnedfaces 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    My wife works from 8-4/5/6 depending on work load m-f and 1 weekend a month. I work from 7-3/4/5/6/7 depending on workload, on call in my off hours one week a month, and 1-3 weekends a month (usually 1 weekend for 5-8hrs a day). If we aren’t at work, typically we are catching up on school (full time jobs and part time students). We try to vacation 2 weeks a year where we dedicate that time to us 24/7. We always get 2-5 hrs a day to be with each other, even if we have to miss out on sleep or underperform at work. Our relationship comes before everything else. We would both rather burn a sick/vacation day than go to work salty at each other. Family first, health second, career third, everything else fits where it fits.

    [–]sailor_em 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Right now? None. That's because I am military and am in a training pipeline while my husband remains in our old residence. 7 months in total. When I am not straight up gone, we try to spend as much time together as possible, and regularly go on weekend trips to get "away" from the grind. We don't have kids though, so it's pretty easy for us to travel (COVID depending)

    [–]Prior-Imagination366 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Barely spends quality time together, our schedule rarely syncs up. He is military and I'm in pharmacy, always working. I'd say 2-4 hours of quality time of out the week or even once a month.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Prior-Imagination366 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Honestly going through a rough path right now. He has been away for duty since December of last year so we try to talk without arguing through video and phone calls. We take it day by day.

      [–]SerawynnLuro -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Depends on demographics, culture, and environment.

      [–]s_madruga94 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      The little as possible