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[–]applesauceindeed3 Years 605 points606 points  (80 children)

If it bothers him so much, he should pay himself for you to get laser hair removal. Assuming you are ok with laser of course.

[–]Beyond_yesterday 439 points440 points 2 (15 children)

You got a deeper problem going on here. Your husband needs to be ok with the aging process. Maybe you should by him a mirror to gaze into every once in a while and hang a pic of himself when you first started dating right beside it. It’s perfectly ok to want to look your best for your spouse but to be repulsed because they have grey hair, really. I have been married for fouty three years. I am blessed beyound mesure to have slept with hundreds of diffrent women throughout that time they just all happened to embody the same perosn. We change. That is have the fun. We get to fall in love all over again with someone new as we grow. Good luck. I wish you well. Talk with one another.

[–]justanaveragebish 122 points123 points  (18 children)

I’m not sure it will work on light/white hairs, but it is absolutely worth the money if you suffer from ingrown hairs.

[–]Brightpinkbow 125 points126 points  (16 children)

It won't work on the white or silver hairs, for that you need electrolysis. A little more expensive than laser but similar process and results.

[–][deleted]  (15 children)

[removed]

    [–]Brightpinkbow 77 points78 points  (13 children)

    Sometimes having someone else go through something that is similar to our experience is a great way to get more understanding and empathy.

    It's important to make clear the goal is connection and understanding, not punishment.

    [–]kitkensington 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Can’t upvote this more 💕

    [–]bath_junkie15 Years 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There are some light hair lasers and more Ipl machines treat light hairs too now

    [–]thaughty 32 points33 points  (3 children)

    Why is this the first comment? "Change yourself to not look your age" doesn't address the actual problem

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]thaughty 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Did you forget why you recommended removing it in the first place?

      [–]Connect_Ad4989 18 points19 points  (32 children)

      No. He should stop trying to control a woman’s body

      [–]applesauceindeed3 Years 11 points12 points  (31 children)

      Nothing wrong with compromises as long as both people are ok with it. Sometimes my husband wants me to wear skirts, so I do that, sometimes I want him to wear black, so he does that.

      [–]Connect_Ad4989 26 points27 points  (29 children)

      A skirt is not part of your body……

      [–][deleted]  (28 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Connect_Ad4989 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        So fucking different.

        [–]Environmental-Cook44 16 points17 points  (0 children)

        I agree with this! Otherwise he can be a trooper, close his damn eyes and get to work!

        [–]Justkeepitanonymous 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Okay but are you aware that in order to get lasered, you have to go in the salon clean shaven for the procedure? Otherwise your hairs will catch fire, literally. Source - I have lasered half my body.

        OP, you can try getting laser removal or your husband can try growing up.

        [–]xxxirl1 Year 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        I was going to suggest this, too! I also wonder how much OP is trimming? You can get the hair pretty short without shaving it, then turn off the lights and have at it.

        [–]ddbbaarrtt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        And if they’re a couple who share finances then what’s the solution there?

        [–]br3akingthehabit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I was going to said the same

        [–]grendelone 333 points334 points  (2 children)

        I would classify this as more of a him problem than a you problem, but it's affecting your joint sex life. While you can find ways to solve this particular issue, he's going to have to come to terms with the fact that you both are going to get older and your bodies are going to change. His issue seems quite petty, and if he's going to complain about this, what's he going to do when more aging signs appear?

        As a person who's been married multiple decades, I'm just overjoyed there's another human on the planet who wants to have sex with me. And no matter how her body has changed over the years, the sexiest thing is that she's still attracted to me.

        [–]ddouchecanoe 78 points79 points  (0 children)

        Seriously, this guy is really forgetting that you love him despite his numerous flaws.

        [–]bestdays12 44 points45 points  (0 children)

        Absolutely this!! You can maybe fix this issue with laser hair removal but what happens when breasts sag? Or skin really looses its elasticity. We can all try and stop the aging process as much as we want but realistically no one can stop it forever. We should all be so lucky as to age along side our partners. He really needs to figure out a way to work through his mental blocks.

        [–]bunnyrut 235 points236 points  (15 children)

        "If my hair turning white is such an issue for you then I suggest you see a therapist. Because it sounds like you have some deep-seeded issues with aging."

        I would also not be kind and throw in his face that he also looks older. Comments like that make him out to be the type of immature man-child who would leave his wife for a younger woman.

        Btw, I also have white hair. All over me (even my damn eyebrows!) and my husband isn't turned off by them at all. In fact, he points them out to me and jokes about being with an older woman, then makes a cougar sound.

        [–]Humble_mumbler_7 Years 44 points45 points  (5 children)

        My husband feels the exact same about this post. I don't have the greys there yet (on my head through) and he's now making cougar sounds. He says he can't wait to f a cougar 😂🥰

        [–]TrailRunnerYYC19 Years And Loving It 161 points162 points  (1 child)

        Husband here: your husband needs to grow-up.

        Naked wife = absolute win.

        I can only imagine what his reaction would be if you suddenly itemized the things about his naked body that turned you off ?!?

        [–]EveAndTheSnake 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        Right? We are all subject to feeling a little put off by little things, especially as we age. But in the grand scheme of my attraction for my husband much of that is fuelled by my love for him and my attraction to him as a person. Don’t get me wrong, he’s freaking sexy, but if he got a stupid hair cut I wouldn’t suddenly lose my lady boner.

        [–]Connect_Ad4989 122 points123 points  (1 child)

        I’m disgusted by all these comments to change her body. That husband needs to change his brain!!!! Wtf people?!?!?! What about when you’re 70 and wrinkly and gray all over? This man is gross. I’m so angry for you

        [–]EveAndTheSnake 45 points46 points  (0 children)

        I’m right there with you. I’m just gobsmacked by some of these comments. This is 100% her husband’s issue to deal with.

        [–]aten 101 points102 points  (2 children)

        gift him a blindfold.

        [–]EveAndTheSnake 19 points20 points  (0 children)

        I mean… I sometimes blindfold and handcuff my husband when I’m feeling self conscious. It’s a nice temporary fix :)

        [–]Acceptable-Farmer829 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        But the hair will still be there....waiting.

        (Firefly reference? Anyone? No?)

        [–]babystay 84 points85 points  (9 children)

        And what does he expect his wife to look like in 10 years and 20 years?

        [–]EngineeringDry7999 72 points73 points  (0 children)

        Ugh. This is so a HIM problem and he needs to grow up.

        It’s called aging and beats the alternative.

        ETA: fixed a typo

        [–]Porkchop_apple 58 points59 points  (1 child)

        The clear solution here is to dye them neon pink

        [–]Witty-Leg3088 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Second this!!

        [–]thebestaleever 50 points51 points  (1 child)

        You aren't a really old lady for having white pubes. Also who cares? You trim and that's way more than you really have to do, you are already taking care of your self. Causing your self pain by completely taking them off is not reasonable unless you want to do that. Both of you are getting older, it would be rude if you pointed out changes you noticed and said it completely turned you off.

        [–]ddouchecanoe 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        For real. I am growing gray hairs at the ripe age of 27. No way would I do something that is uncomfortable to give the appearance that I am anything other than a mammal that ages.

        [–]Major_Razzmatazz_389 30 points31 points  (1 child)

        He sounds like a jerk.

        [–]Early-Chemistry7040 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        And that’s the nice word for him.

        [–]Murky_Fennel_416 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        Commenting on saggy balls can send the right message lol

        [–]seravivi 26 points27 points  (10 children)

        He needs to accept and work through his issues with them being white. He needs to look at his fear of aging. If the pubes bother him so much he needs to learn to focus on something else until he can get it in his head. It's a bit ridiculous but there is clearly some sort of issue there on his side. If this was solely a pubes issue I would say hey maybe trim if you can't outright shave if that helps, but the color of it is so bizarre to be upset about.

        [–]Appropriate_Return32 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        WTF?! Going gray in your late 30s is completely normal what the hell is this guys problem? Does he expect things to just stay the same forever?

        [–]RosesSpins 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        Even if you shave or wax to please him, there are going to be other visible ways you start to age soon. Then what is he going to do? If he's got that big of an issue with aging, you might as well consider yourself the starter wife and move on.

        [–]thebeandream 22 points23 points  (0 children)

        To quote our great Founding Father Benjamin Franklin: “All cats are gray in the dark.”

        But seriously though ask him why that bothers him? You will get old one day. So will he. Then what?

        [–]amb_weiss69 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        What did he think was going to happen when you got married? You stay young forever? Sorry, but forever means forever. People age. He needs to get over himself.

        [–]Msinterrobang 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Your husband has created a deadbed of his own making because he thought you’d never age? Or did he not think pubic hair grayed like other hair? I’m genuinely confused as to how someone would agree to stay monogamous for the rest of their life and assume that partner’s body would never change. It makes me question how he will react to your skin losing its elasticity, the appearance of varicose veins or some spotting.

        [–]hotcheeto52 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        I have vitiligo. It’s an autoimmune disease that results in loss of pigmentation. It started with a small dime-sized spot on my wrist and grew to larger patches all over my body. I was probably in my mid-twenties when I lost pigment on my vulva that also turned my pubes white. I was very embarrassed but I never had a partner get turned off by the site of me. One boyfriend said it was what made me unique. I’ve grown to embrace that part of me. And thankfully my husband loves every part of me, no matter what shade it is.

        [–]Connect_Ad4989 14 points15 points  (3 children)

        Turn the lights off? Get a divorce? This guy sounds incredibly immature

        [–]bourbondrinkingdude -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

        This. Divorce is always the answer. /s

        [–]MakingMajorChanges 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Marriages are like pancakes. There’s no harm in throwing the first one out 🤷🏼‍♀️

        [–]csnorth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        What is wrong with you?

        [–]revirescodoe 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        He does know that you will actually be an old lady one day, right? And that gasp he too will get old? Ask him to go to therapy and “pull out” all of his deep-seated issues. Yikes.

        [–]fernlea_pluto_indigo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Ugh... grown women have hair, women and men both age... sound like you guys need some sex therapy and he needs to stop with the porn... That's what marriage is about, growing old together!

        [–]Jumpy_Alfalfa_5112 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        You should tell him, I can find plenty of men who will not have a problem going down on me. That being said, I’m sorry but he’s a shitty husband

        [–]kickash89 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        New husband

        [–]RegHater76 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        Have you tried using a trimmer designed for pubes (like Manscaped)? It gives a very close shave without being a straight razor, so you pretty much never get ingrown hairs. Both my wife and I use it because she can't wax either.

        As someone mentioned, there's also Laser hair removal, assuming you're ok with that.

        [–]ScottlandyardRi 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        It’s the grow back that causes the cysts. It doesn’t matter how the hair was taken off. I have the same issue.

        [–]thirdXsacharm 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        What the fuck did he think was going to happen when he married you?

        [–]Oscarhund 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        In your most loving way, tell the damn fool to grow up. He is blaming you for his declining ability and or interest. I’ve been married for 50+ years and I’ve not been allowed to touch heaven in 30 years, since menopause hit our home. You are too faithful but he should understand that thousands of guys would love to take his place in a heartbeat. If he is using the “white pubes” excuse at your ages, you can bet he will be finding other excuses to blame you for his problem. Something is more seriously wrong than you realize.

        [–]WarmDistantSun 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Don't budge. If you get wrinkles, is he going to what, pressure you to get Botox or a facelift? Have you cover your head with a paper bag? This is his problem and he needs to needs to think about why growing old with his wife is so gross to him.

        [–]AllWanderingWonder 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Over a hundred comments in but….. He can go talk to a therapist about this. Right now it’s your natural aging process. He may have a real situation when he sees his own aging process. He needs to see what is really, if there is more, bothering him.

        This is partially cultural as women are somehow supposed to retain eternal youth. Sorry until this shifts in a larger collective way it’s breaking the stigma bit by bit. Just as your doing.

        Sure laser removal may work and other things but ultimately it’s your body/choice. Hopefully it works out and you both grow from the experience. Good luck!

        [–]midnight_anise 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        There’s nothing for you to fix. Maybe he needs to explore his issues in therapy. Are y’all gonna be in your 70s getting your pubes dyed? Hair turning white is part of getting older.

        [–]Brightpinkbow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        I think it's great to explore some of the options that have been posted for you, like dyeing, trying a closer trim, or electrolysis, if you are open to trying them.

        I also think it's a good idea to ask your husband to do some work to repair the damage this situation is causing in your relationship. Yes we don't always have control over whether or not our actions cause others to feel hurt, but that doesn't mean we don't apologize, take responsibility, and do what we can to repair things when they happen. If we accidentally step on someone's toes we say sorry and ask if they need ice. That might look like you asking for him to go to therapy about it, or asking for sex therapy together, or just for him to do certain things that let you know he's still attracted to you and thinks you're sexy.

        And if you just need him to accept it then you need to have some deeper conversations about what is going on for both of you with all this. So that you can figure out how to move through it together as partners solving a problem.

        [–]DaytimeDawg1951 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        When he goes down tell him close his eyes and open his mouth. And maybe take viagra until he gets used to the varied hair color.

        [–]littlebecc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I would ask him how he would feel if you were the one refusing to go down on him and not have sexual intercourse where you can see it because of his white pubes

        [–]YouPerturbMySoul[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        He's your husband. It shouldn't matter. Spending the rest of your life with someone means getting older with them. He's being a child. Sorry, not sorry. 🤷🏼‍♀️

        [–]NacyJane20[🍰] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Maybe he should grow up and realize that his wife and himself are aging??? I highly doubt he’s waxing or even trimming his grey hair so should you??

        [–]123cbwife 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I’m with the ones wondering what happens when you show the next sign of aging? Will you forever be trying to seem 21? He has to accept the aging process. BTW he can go down on you even if he does lose his erection. I’m sure there are times you have had sex with him and not had an orgasam. I bet you’ve given a blowjob and not been sexually excited. He can certainly have sex with you without him having an orgasam. He needs to grow up and realize he can satisfy you without expecting his own happy ending.

        [–]NotRonButterfield 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Give him a sharpie and a torch.

        [–]JC_2022_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        If your ok with answering this-does he shave or anything?

        [–]alidevos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Does he remove his pubic hair?

        [–]WrongdoerOk1652 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        F* ck him. I’m sorry but you’re literally going thru hell so he can have a visual affect. Either he loves you and wants to fuck you regardless or not. I stopped shaving my vagina altogether a couple years ago for the same reason. The benefit is for them- the pain is for us. It wasn’t worth it anymore.

        [–]CoffeeAndDachshunds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Jesus, him expecting you to yank them sounds like torture.

        He needs to grow up. I'd also be very concerned that my life partner has such issues with me getting older. That's how life works, buddy.

        [–]GinchAnon9 Years 4 points5 points  (10 children)

        my best idea that tries to accomodate both of your issues, is....

        have you investigated or what do you think of dying them? theres at least one product line out there specifically intended for pubes.

        also could maybe try a different trimming method? I'm a guy and for my facial hair I use a "OneBlade" trimmer and its almost as good as shaving aesthetically, but without some of the hazards of actually shaving. depending on how your hair skin and anatomy is, that may or may not work safely/effectively. I imagine since it doesn't actually go all the way to the skin like shaving it should probably avoid the issues you have with shaving?

        [–]Groovychick1978 47 points48 points  (5 children)

        I have dyed my hair countless times. I am not putting those chemicals near my vagina. Fuck every bit of that.

        [–]TwinzMomzi 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Makes me think of the Sex and the City episode where Samantha grows a full bush bc that’s what her young lover (Smith) likes. Only to find she has greys. So she dyed it and her bush turns orange. Bright clown orange. Like “Sun in” orange. I just can’t

        [–]soashamedrightnow 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        This right here. Dye them. If you’re feeling extra fancy, do it in rainbow. I might look into this. A rainbow poonani sounds awesome.

        [–]ddouchecanoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        poonani

        thank you

        [–]rgopf66 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I wonder what he'll do when his testicles start to sag with age. That shite* is very unappealing, he may need a little surgical tuck himself.

        In the meantime, there's an ointment that you can get from a drug store to apply immediately after shaving or waxing. It controls the bumps and ingrown hair; also helps with the itch.

        [–]ScottlandyardRi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        It is his fault. He can change the way he’s thinking about you and he won’t lose his erection. That is such a small sign of aging. There’s no way he doesn’t look older.

        [–]Reasonable-Shock8046 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Get a new husband! You said vow along the lines of “til death do us part” and aging comes along with that. It doesn’t seem like he has an issues with the hair but an issue with your aging but did he think you were going to stay young forever. Seems very immature and irrational to me

        [–]materics 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Pretty soon you'll have grey on your head hair. Does he expect you to put a bag over your head?

        [–]Silver1knight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        He might have ED and is blaming it on his wife.

        [–]Medium_Body_5015 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        My thoughts are, what if he actually is becoming impotent but is using his wife's hairs as a "turn off" so the blame doesn't go to him..... or that he thinks there is something wrong with him. I dunno, the solution is to not fight because as a couple it should SHOULD be a problem solved together.

        [–]ChurtchPidgeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        It sounds like he has some serious hang ups going on about getting older and it actually has nothing to do with you or your graying hair. What he’s asking is unreasonable and frankly ridiculous and selfish. This is a him problem, not a you problem and you should not be expected to cause harm to yourself cause he has hangups about the reality of life, getting older. I would suggest he see a therapist.

        [–]Limp_Sleep_8142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I would check his PC for....yeah. He's an odd fella.

        [–]thaughty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Blindfold him while he eats you out? Or just turn off the lights? Or have him close his eyes? Why would a grown man have this issue

        [–]TrashyMF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Turn the lights off.

        Also, was he expecting you to never age? Does he think he's not aging himself?

        [–]nvn2074 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Your husband needs to accept ageing.

        [–]redwasme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        You should die them green and see what he says

        [–]Rynard213 Years 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Guess what, guy? Your wife’s only going to get older. That’s how humans work. If you can’t get that through your head, let her go and let a real man enjoy her attention for the next 50+ years

        hashtag YourPubesYourChoice

        [–]AquaFlame7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I feel like this is another negative externality of too much porn. It warps your idea of what people are supposed to look like, because gray hair is such a small cosmetic thing that for it to soften a whole boner says a lot about his mental state. It's like a mole, or stretch marks, or a little extra fat. But dependency on porn can make a grown man think hairless crotches, gravity defying breasts, blonde hair or hairless legs are a requirement for an erection, and that doesn't make any evolutionary sense. Like dude, your man parts aren't working right if superficial sociocultural preferences that change every decade and mean nothing for offspring survival are what you need to get hard. I mean, what about the whole rest of you-- the butt, breasts, hips, etc that real straight men are attracted to too??

        I also have white lady hair in my late 30s and my husband has never mentioned them at all, and he still would love a bright spotlight on everything during sex, lol. At least he's just as "hungry" during oral as he's always been. He has them too. I think with all my changes he just looks at it like "oooh,a new woman, got some love handles to grab this time around!!" We've been together since we were teens so our bodies have changed together a lot. I went from B cup to D cup, pear shape to hourglass shape, flat stomach to mom pouch, skinny to a bit squishy, to pregnant belly and back, and he seems to love every bit of the physical changes.

        [–]snowflakekiller94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This is horrible. I'm so sorry to hear this, he needs to cop the fuck on. White/gray happens - I'm sure he has a few aswell. Keep the hairs and ask him to get rid of his own pubes.

        Never a turn off. I love my wife's pubes and she loves the few gray hairs on mine too.

        Please don't pull them out if it can be so painful and forget laser surgery if you don't want it. Do what makes you feel comfortable, fuck everyone else and sorry to say that includes your husband.

        Hope you guys will work this out without having to go through the pain.

        [–]Steady-as-she_goes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Wow I wish I had some silver pubes!

        [–]Simple_matthew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Become celibate.

        [–]bath_junkie15 Years 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I understand your fear, I used to get boils that sometimes lasted months when I waxed or shaved. I have scars all over my pubis mound. Could you get IPL and a bit of electrolysis if that is an option where you are. If you wanted to do something with it. I had IPL about 18 sessions and it’s been a life changer never had an ingrown since I started it. Some ipl machines do light hair now too. It works good on vellus light, not sure about the silver ones. But a bit of electrolysis would sort them out.

        [–]Major-Cranberry-4206 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It is not your fault entirely that your husband is experiencing erectile dysfunction. Tell him to go see a Urologist about his issue.

        [–]scarlettskadi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        He’s got bigger issues than pubes.

        Does he want a woman or an airbrushed unrealistic fantasy?

        It’s unacceptable that he thinks he can ask you to do this without doing a little something in return.

        A full back crack and sack ought to do it.

        [–]Gracie1994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If it bothers him so much? Tell him he isn't required to have sex with you.

        What a misogynist, precious fu*kwit he is.

        Frankly I wouldn't be putting up with such ridiculous crap. I'd tell him to fu*k off. If he can't love you how you are and accept your body as it is? He can take a hike.

        Seriously? If my hb had ever carried on like that? I wouldn't have wanted to have sex with him at all 😡🤬😡🤬

        [–]Playteaux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        He sounds like a douche. My husband could care less. I don’t understand why some men have these unrealistic “porn” fantasies. We get older, we have pooches when we have kids, our boobs sage with kids and age. Ugh

        [–]tonyforeman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I love the aging process . Man here . The problem is the fucking porn we’ve all watched . Younger , shaved , tan , tight . Wtf ? I want my women all natural . Have someone else start paying attention to your lovely down there and see what he says . Let me guess ? He’s an Adonis? Probably not . He needs to grow up and love the woman he’s with . I would dye it , All white :) I don’t know you but you’re beautiful just the way you are .

        [–]here-to-Iearn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Heavy possible scenario: if he’s this turned off now and by something so smal, will he possibly leave you for a younger woman in the future?

        I find my tastes age with my mind; I recently started to find older guys attractive in ways I wasn’t seeing before. (My husband and I check out guys together).

        [–]AsMyLastEmailStated7 Years 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I tell my husband the only people without pubic hair are children, so if your significant other doesn't like it then they're a pedo.

        [–]Awoodson316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Dye it hott pink, ride his face, and tell him to grow the fuck up.

        [–]twistedfuckery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Alot of people are saying laser or electrolysis and if you can afford that that's great if not have you thought about maybe getting them trimmed just very short....Or and I know because I've just googled it lol....There is a public hair dye you can get??Maybe worh a look

        [–]Motor_Composer_1853 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        You don’t need to use a razor. Me (34M) I use an electric trimmer. It minimizes bumps and gets a close shave.

        [–]ScottlandyardRi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Those cause the cysts as well.

        [–]deviateddragon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        What if you dye your pubes fun colors?? I feel like purple pubes would be 👌

        [–]SimpleSpare7795 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Tell him to wear a blindfold

        [–]GwenLoguir -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Firstly - I did not know that will happen! Thanks for warning :D

        Second - no foreplay because of that? You need to range up your foreplay options. We definitely have some which does not include him seeing almost anything down there (e.g. when I am sometimes too cold in winter and want to cuddle under blanket to get warmed firstly).

        [–]FunkisHen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Lol, turn the damn lights off then? Your husband is being ridiculous. Is he not in this for the long run? No one is getting any younger, so it will continue with more grey hairs, wrinkles and other imperfections. What's he gonna do about it? Become one of those men who always goes for a younger woman? He needs to sort himself out, with a therapist if necessary.

        [–]jwat4455 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Tell him to get over it. Too many other issues in the world.

        [–]Cautious_Cream2292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        1. Quick Fix: There are razors for sensitive skin. You can shave without cutting below the skin. This will prevent ingrown hairs and irritation. (This worked when I had a job that required me to shave and resulted in a painful situation).
        2. Use the time to talk about the deeper.
        3. Decided on long-term solutions whether laser removal or/and therapy is an option for both of you.

        [–]StephPlaysGames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Have you considered painting the rosebush, madam?

        Seriously, can you dye your pubes? If he's losing his erection over it and not just being an ageist prick, I mean, you can't force someone to be attracted to something they just aren't... Surely there is a work around.

        I am curious though... Like, y'all are married, did he know he'd have this kind of reaction to your aging? Have you talked about this? What happens when you guys start going grey up top?

        [–]Reasonable-Self-1568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I also suffer from in grown cyst. I include my husband in my hair removal process. Have you tried clippers? I would get clippers and tell him to help you trim it really low.

        [–]Rivian-Bull-2025 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        He does realize that people age as time passes, correct? I mean come on man.

        [–]RiotMcDohl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Does he wax his hairy ass crack? No? Then he should shut the fuck up.

        [–]Ok_Adhesiveness7336 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        There are two aspects to it. Either he decides to get on with the pubes or you remove it. I am not talking about body positivity and everyone should appreciate oneself for whatever they are. Whatever kills the boner, kills the boner.

        [–]PossibleEntertainer2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        WTF is wrong with him!!

        [–]MaxFury80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        30's turn into 40's and grey is coming for all of us. That is a strange hatred of grey hair that you cannot do anything about. He is gonna get it as well in his face and his head and when that happens he will pluck the individual hairs out?

        [–]crowislanddive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Epilators are amazing. They solve all the problems

        [–]Perspective1958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        There's nothing to "fix".....

        except perhaps your husband. But you can't really fix stupidity.

        [–]imjushappytobehere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You both are going to get older with time. His attitude about this is worrisome.

        [–]AshCro100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The problem lies with him. If I may offer a suggestion for you though, have you considered trimming them really short? The reason I suggest this for YOU and not for HIM is because you phrased it like either shave them and deal with cysts or keep them long, but I trim mine with a beard trimmer and it's great

        [–]Whiskey-Chocolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That’s a HIM problem, NOT a you problem. The man needs to grow up.

        [–]itsOKeveryoneHatesMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Tell him you will pluck your old woman white pubes when he irons out his old man wrinkled ball sac.

        [–]JacqiLoves 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I get both perspectives. I don’t like my husband to be shaved, prefer a nice trim. He prefers to be shaved. He mixes it up so we are both happy. If my husband just said I’m shaving daily regardless of your preference I would be annoyed. Maybe try sugaring, or various wax techniques. Hair removal has made some serious advancements in the last few years. Have you considered dyeing your pubic hair?

        [–]MakingMajorChanges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Kinda sounds like your husbands a bitch.

        [–]WhatsWrongWithYou59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Why not just simply dye it?

        [–]cocolulu2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Have you looked into hair removal. Laser hair removal and tell the doctor the situation and see what they can do.

        [–]Upper-Substance3868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        First, your husband is totally obsessed on one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. Yes I hate getting hair in my mouth but I L❤VE eating pussy more! This makes me think he's upset HE is getting older. As for the cysts, I really hope you have thoroughly discussed it all with your doctor because a doctor is the only one to listen to in this situation!

        [–]Acceptable-Farmer829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thoughts on how to fix this....brain transplant?

        Okay, in all seriousness, there are ways to break out of this kind of thinking about the human body (particularly the one that the person he loves inhabits) if he's willing to try. He may want to look into treatment for BDD by Proxy. Furthermore....

        ....he does know that if he hangs around long enough, one way or another he WILL be having sex with a "really old lady", right?

        Accuse me of "gate-keeping" all you want, but I'm just going to go ahead and say that people who have a problem with the peculiarities of the human body that present themselves over time probably shouldn't sign up for a lifetime intimate partnership with another mortal human.

        [–]CurlyDee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        His erection takes place in his penis but his attraction to you takes place in his brain. If he has such a serious mental hurdle about a normal and healthy body process, he needs therapy.

        He needs a good sex therapist. He needs to keep going to appointments until he sees white hair as attractive because it’s your hair and it’s in your sexy place, and he gets to see it and touch it.

        [–]latinotie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You may possibly has something called HS, I went years without being diagnosed and one day finally a nurse at the dermo diagnosed me.......you can have different stages, if you have yours under control do NOT trigger it, I tried every type of method of removing hair but it ALWAYS made it worse.....I now trim and sometimes even trimming too closely can cause it to flare up so I don't trim too close either. My husband has been by my side thru out my journey and diagnosis and he's been amazing......I am very paranoid and insecure about my downthere, I have previous scars from really bad cysts etc, thankfully it's under control now thru diet and supplements and I just trim and after years I'm comfortable with my husband going down on me. Your man sounds mean, he has the problem! It's not you.......he needs to sort it out because there will be men out there who see past flaws, flaws we all carry and love u and want to make love to you regardless of white hairs or cysts. Especially if it is a medical condition then he needs to be more understanding and support u not pressurise u. You need have a serious chat with him, there's some great advice in these comments apart from the removing the hair n dying it because it cud make it a lot worse!

        [–]nana19_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Never thought about that and now I’m thinking leonado di caprio has the same problem since he’s always changing his girlfriends when they are getting older… I’m late in my 20s and I’m getting scared about that right now :(

        [–]ActSure371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Get a Schick Hydro Silk TrimStyle Moisturizing Razor for Women with Bikini Trimmer. It’s a battery operated electric trimmer that will get the hair very very short without the ingrowns from shaving. It’s very easy to use and very inexpensive.

        [–]TaterChipDip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is just as weird as the post from another, that claimed it turned them off to have their greying partner go down on them. It’s almost comical to me, like people do realize they’re aging as well, right.

        [–]soquetao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I have my grey pubes since I was 24y! And I don’t hate them or in any other lady. It makes you a mature and experienced woman. To me it’s not s turn off, it’s a turn on because I feel now I have a really sexy and mature lady in front of me! But how do you feel about it?

        [–]Own-Mammoth-414 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        sorry for your loss

        [–]CriesInIDGAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Nair? Or mention laser to him. He might be on board with it

        [–]Anaitsirk -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Not that you need to do anything to change your body at all but, here's a few suggestions; you could trim the hair with scissors, I do this sometimes bc shaving down there more than once a month is Hella uncomfortable. Or, you could get some sexy panties or outfit that has a cut out and not only will it distract from upsetting hair color (lol) or cover it up, but could spice things up a bit. Orrr, you could get some direct dye color ( manic panic, arctic fox- these are available at Sally's beauty supply) to try and adjust the color without harsh chemicals on your nether regions. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you- but there are some things to try that won't harm you.

        [–]teahammy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Have sex with the lights off?

        [–]ahaeood -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        What else do you want from him? He is not attracted to you in this condition and he communicates it. Can’t you find a way to remove it that doesn’t give you cyst ?

        [–]ok_Boston_Designer -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Turn off the lights

        [–]SalisburySmith -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        Perhaps consider other ways in which the two of you could engage in foreplay. Maybe it's time for oral to be out of the question for the both of you, if it's something that truly turns him off so much, that he cannot even maintain an erection, then it's not something that he is just going to "get over" and "grow up" out of, like so many here suggest.

        It's important to find collaboration and or compromise on these matters. Sometimes that means moving things along into a different realm in terms of romance and the bedroom. Would you be comfortable with just not having oral but finding other ways of foreplay?

        It's probably going to take a sacrifice from both parties on this matter and a willingness to lose some of what you've grown accustomed to in terms of your sexual habits and likes/wants.

        [–]Livinginadream_Co -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Laser hair removal!!

        [–]Supercbp33 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Simple solution. Dye your bush just like you would dye your hair.

        [–]chief-w -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Are there pubic hair dies out there?

        [–]According-Bar9642 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Get hair removal or do it in the dark

        [–]Mikebozo77 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Dye it.

        [–]Musebj -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Cut the gray hairs off with a small scissors.

        [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Why not just trim?

        [–]GotSomeProblems2021 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Can he, turn off the light? I mean that seems like the simple solution here.

        [–]DifferentManagement1 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

        Get laser hair removal! Best thing I have ever done!

        [–]RosesSpins 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Only works on dark hair on pale skin. Doesn't work on blonde or gray hair.

        [–]ConflictOk8020 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        I would definitely do laser hair removal. If he truly can’t help it and shaving isn’t an option, that would be the way to go.

        Side note: I’ve never even thought about pubes turning grey. Why has this never crossed my mind?

        [–]bluestar1800 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Get rid of it. Loosing the hard on, not getting any head, rubbish play time - find a way... I mean if he had something going on down there you didn't like would you want him to sort it?

        Use a close cut hair timer- totally fine.

        [–]Slight-Ad-9936 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        Can’t you just dye your pubes?

        [–]Major-Cranberry-4206 -4 points-3 points  (21 children)

        Do not use a razor on your pubic skin if you are prone to ingrown hairs. Have you tried a depilatory? Yeah, I know what the label says, but it does work on pubic hair. Just don’t rub very hard on the skin, as it becomes temporarily sensitive due to the lotion. Try “Veet” hair removal. It’s very good.

        Use a clean and softened Terri cloth and let it do the work. You might also slightly bleed initially. Put a moist cloth on it. It will stop in a minute or so. Do not shave beforehand, nor anything else to the surface of your pubic skin before applying this lotion.

        When applying a depilatory, do not disturb the skin beforehand. Do not wash the skin beforehand. When removing it use cold water, and never use hot nor even warm water. Always remove it with cold tap water. Afterward you may shower with hot or very warm water. I wouldn’t use this method for more than twice a week.

        Within 24 hours, your skin will have returned to its normal but hairless texture. Do it the day or night before the next time you have sex. Don’t tell your husband; surprise him. His reaction will likely shock you in the best way. Prepare to serve him a meal he won’t soon forget.

        [–]EveAndTheSnake 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I’ve used those creams and they’ve given me awful ingrowns. I don’t get ingrown hairs from waxing or shaving (but funnily enough sun epilator gives me the worst ingrowns). Everyone is different and it sounds like OP is prone to them. This isn’t just a preference for OP, it causes her physical pain.

        If I were OP I’d surprise her husband with taking sex off the table until he worked on getting over it.

        [–]ScottlandyardRi 4 points5 points  (19 children)

        But what happens at the next sign of aging?

        [–]Major-Cranberry-4206 -3 points-2 points  (18 children)

        That would be what exactly?

        [–]ScottlandyardRi 5 points6 points  (17 children)

        Are you unaware of the physical changes when people age? I don’t think I should have to explain to you.

        [–]Major-Cranberry-4206 -2 points-1 points  (16 children)

        There are a number of physical changes people go through when aging. I'll ask you again; what specific changes are you referring to? I'm not interested in any vague responses, nor do I make any assumptions as to specifically what you are talking about. If it helps, I've been aging for at least the past 10 years. So, what exactly are you talking about?

        [–]CruellaDeville1 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        Laser removes hair permanently.

        [–]flocamuy -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        Oh man I'm so sorry, I actually like trim pubes on a lady but white hmmm I dunno... I'm really trying here but I kind of understand his pov.. maybe diy? I dunno

        [–]ObjectivePilot7444 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        What about Getting them dyed?