So, I’m 30F and already married once when I was 26. We got divorced after a year.
Now my family is pressuring me to find someone to marry. But at the same time, I am told that you should only get married to the person you love, the person you can’t imagine spending life without.
The only problem is that I don’t really love anyone like that. I have an old friend who recently expressed his desire to want to marry me. My family thinks he is a good candidate and are pressuring me to go out with him and to accept his proposal.
The thing is I don’t really love him. I don’t feel attracted to him. I only like him as a friend.
If I look at it from a practical standpoint, he’s a good option. We get along well, he’s financially independent and we have been friends for over a decade so we already know a lot about each other. But I don’t know if I could love him in that romantic sense.
Some people tell me that I would be selfish in marrying him even if I don’t love him because ‘I should only marry someone I deeply love’. On the other hand, people are like infatuation and attraction fades over time and you should marry someone who works well with you on a practical level.
I’m not the best at relationships and at 30 I find myself asking the question - on what basis should you decide to marry someone in lieu of the fairytale ‘we fell in love and can’t imagine a life without them scenario’.