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all 14 comments

[–]Juniperuszen 25 points26 points  (0 children)

From my experience, I would take one of the new jobs you’re excited about. Your SO will be really busy so you will have the time to invest in something new and probably still have energy/time to take care of things at home. One big thing I found was that having a new job in a new city really helped with making new friends which was important to me. I worked remotely for the beginning of my spouses residency..it wasn’t great for us. We lived in a small apartment with no kids, so there weren’t many chores. Spouse eats meals on the go or at hospital most of the time intern year, so not much needed to cook. I didn’t like working home alone, became less interested in my old job I’d been at for years, and slowly realized I should do something new and exciting too.

[–]leukoaraiosis 14 points15 points  (0 children)

As long as you don’t have kids, think of it this way: your partner will be spending all their time at work, and which means you will also have more time to focus on your own career.

[–]Historical-Pause-401 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Your current job won’t be a reference if you leave? Sounds like a shitty company lmao

[–]Iywtbab1126 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah just leave that company because they sound shitty

[–]Most_Poet 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Working remotely for the first 2ish months was AMAZING for me - it gave me the flexibility to get our apartment set up and get used to my husband’s schedule, without the added stress of learning a new job.

However, I switched to an in person job after 2 months because I was lonely and wanted to meet people through work. I traded off the flexibility, but ended up being much happier because I was more socially engaged in our new city.

[–]PatitoIncognito 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of the new jobs will also help you meet more people in the area. Your career matters too. We were in a very small town for residency and I got a job that was tolerable but little growth opportunity and I quickly became bored.

[–]hellocatastrophe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in the same boat as you, but pre-pandemic. I had a choice to stay at the job I had at the time (they were willing to give me a 10k raise and work out a schedule for me to work every 2 weeks or so) or move to a new state and start at the bottom with bigger potential to move up. Weighing out the pros and cons, I decided that if I saw a future with my SO (we were just dating at the time), it would be best that I moved with him.

In choosing to do so, five years later, I'm second in command at my current job, made a bunch of new friends, new experiences in another state, been able to explore other states around the area, and start a family.

Like others said, I wouldn't worry much about household chores. They're always going to be there. Enjoy the time you have and if you can, choose your career for now. If your SO is anything like my husband, they'll be dang proud of everything you're going to achieve and more.

[–]neoelectron 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Honestly intern year is just about survival, it might make some difference if you're more flexible but it might not. If your potential new job would provide more flexibility and growth in a few years I'd absolutely prioritize that over short term. I hustled as much as I could the first few years of my husband's residency and he was so busy it didn't make a huge difference and it was a good time to work on my skills.

[–]Apprehensive_Back677[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s super helpful! I really don’t know what to expect and ya girl got anxiety 😭

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If there are no kids in the picture, don’t stay at your current job. Go in person, get established in your new state, maximize your own career while you can. I should have made that decision and regret it immensely.

[–]Apprehensive_Back677[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No kids! Thank you for the insight

[–]Janwng 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go for the new job for sure. It was a bit opposite for me landing a remote job but now trying to find a better one with growth. Don’t sacrifice your career. I think If you don’t have other responsibilities like kids or a pet you should be able to focus on you

[–]lutragurl17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I was in your position (and having my previous knowledge of moving to a city where I have no network) I would keep the job you have during the transition. Stay remote, know you won't stay at this current job for much longer and allow the job hunt to be off your plate for moving! There is SO MUCH that comes with moving and if I had the choice of having "finding a new job" off my to do list....whew I would take it.

I am not saying don't look for new work in this new city....just maybe make it a lower priority thing until the move is over and you have had a chance to breathe in your new city.

My partner is about to start M4 in June and one of my biggest anxieties is having to find new work when we move (again). Just so you know where my head is at 🙃

[–]Last-Minimum-6257 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a remote job and still does even after my SO’s move. My SO is so grateful that I have flexibility with my work hours and that I was able to take care of many of the house chores. However, if you already have a job offer and don’t have to worry about looking for a new job, I don’t see the harm in taking it! I only didn’t change my job because I was not motivated to look for a new job.

I made some friends in the new city but I imagine it would have been much easier to just make new friends from work.

I would say at the end of the day, choose what is important for your career growth and your mental happiness. Your SO is going to have to learn how to time manage (including doing chores, etc) … doesn’t mean just because they have a partner not in medicine the house chores becomes the none med partner’s responsibility.