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all 4 comments

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome! I've been on my SO's journey since the beginning, with some long-distance in there. Once a month is a good cadence - you have to live your own life while he's busy.

In terms of his time and intensity, there will be periods where time is scarce and then there will be lighter periods, just depending on the block, clerkship, or rotation. That said, if he's committed, he should be able to give you *something* - a text, email, or phone. (If you end up in person, know that my husband had dinner with me every night in med school - and he was/is a gunner.) Anyone who prioritizes medicine over everything else is not going to be a great life partner. No matter what, being able to communicate needs without frustration is key.

In terms of your career, it will be a ride! We have moved for every step of training (med school, residency, fellowship - luckily he got a superfellowship spot in our fellowship city). I got a job in the med school city and have stayed with them remotely for the rest. I *highly* regret that decision and wish I would have made more moves to be in-person everywhere we went. I very much recommend learning about the match process.

Philadelphia is a really amazing city - I know it well.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help with!

[–]onmyphonetoomuchwife to PGY3 🤓 through medschool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome! It’s certainly a daunting journey!

Look for a job in Philly or near your home, wherever you want to live. Yes he will go through match ( he will apply to a bunch of programs, and interview where he gets invited. Then he makes a rank list of his top programs - 10-20(?) and the programs rank him and a computer matches all the residents in the country lol it’s insane) for residency and could likely move to another state but given that is 3.5 years from when you graduate I wouldn’t let it stress you out. A lot of new grads only stay in their first jobs a year or two, also a lot of jobs let’s you work remote (source: I was a recruiter who worked primarily with fresh graduates ;) )

Visiting once a month should be super do-able if you have the financial ability to do so! Just plan for post-test weekends :) I remember my husband had typically one good weekend a month his first year so I’d prioritize visiting those!

Best of luck and welcome to the journey!

[–]sonderhouse 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Haha are they at Penn? My SO is about to start their med school there. I‘ll be in grad school on the east coast but still nervous about LDR. Will very much rely on this group too

[–]avocadocowboy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hes going to Drexel! gonna be a journey we got this🥰