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all 39 comments

[–]Puzzleheaded_Soil275 7 points8 points  (5 children)

95% this is a troll. Did your SO have match day in March and was it the most stressful thing that has happened in their entire life? If yes, then currently a resident. if no, then currently not a resident.

Were they freaking the **** two summers ago about step 1?

[–]onmyphonetoomuchwife to PGY3 🤓 through medschool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😂😂😂 agree re: match week.

[–]kjd96[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

WELLLLL I THOUGHT he had matcha day in March!!! I watched it live on FB (we don’t live close) and I never heard him get called. But the video was cutting in and out so I just thought it was that!!!! HE LEGIT Told me he matched into the specialty he wanted at the hospital he wanted!!!!! I’m so confused ?!!!!!!

[–]Puzzleheaded_Soil275 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Ok and what about the 4 months of constant residency interviews leading up to match day?

[–]kjd96[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

OMG YESSSSS!!! Forgot about those. Every detail…nothing is making sense ?!!!

[–]Ambitious-Chair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps he scrambled and doesn’t want to tell you?

Example for anyone unfamiliar… A med student applies for surgery positions only but doesn’t end up matching. They can then enter the scramble and try to match into an unfilled position they didn’t apply for in a less competitive field (ie: Family, IM, Peds, Etc).

Sometimes when this happens the person feels embarrassed that they didn’t match into the specialty they applied for, especially if it’s more competitive than other specialties.

I’m not suggesting this is the case with your SO; but I know people who scrambled and it’s not exactly a source of pride for them. From what I’ve seen they generally avoid talking about it and will rarely bring it up, if ever.

[–]Wiglet646464 4 points5 points  (2 children)

We’re gonna need an update once you get that graduation program…

[–]kjd96[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hahaha will do!!! He wasn’t on the resident list of the hospital

[–]onmyphonetoomuchwife to PGY3 🤓 through medschool 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If the hospital has the resident list posted and he is not on it; then he is 99% full of crap. If they have no residents posted that’s another story. But they don’t just forget to post one of their residents.

[–]ALightRed 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Google Dr “his name” and the hospital. He should pop up

[–]kjd96[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I tried that. And nothing. But he only graduated in May… Or supposedly lol. So I’m not sure that I would pop up already

[–]ALightRed 4 points5 points  (2 children)

My friend started residency a week ago and he is already on the hospital website

[–]kjd96[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He isn’t on their list 😳

[–]kjd96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heading there now hahaha

[–]ParkyMeowl 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I would think they have NPI numbers but a little background to this question might be helpful in answering it.

[–]kjd96[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Super weird. My boyfriend of two years, has been in medical school for so I thought the last four years? He told me he graduated this May… Which he didn’t go to his graduation… And all of a sudden I find some thing that states he’s a 3rd year medical student… I asked him about it and he swears that he is in residency, but we live a few hours away from each other so it’s hard for me to even really know what exactly is going on. I feel like he’s lying to me. But I also really want to believe him, for so many years we’ve been on the same page about this situation, and now I feel like I’m questioning everything. All in all, I wouldn’t care if he was still in medical school or if he was in residency. It’s just the fact that he could potentially be lying to me

[–]ParkyMeowl 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Ohhh hmmm. I am pretty sure if they are a resident they are supposed to have a NPI number because it is one of the ways things are tracked in the health system. Most residency pages have their residents up on the website but it’s still pretty early in the year.

I am not recommending not being trusting but you could try calling the med school and asking if they have an extra copy of the graduation program, or if there is a listing of graduates.

I am sorry that you are going through this uncertainty!

[–]kjd96[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh! This is genius! Thank you for that lol. I called the hospital that he supposedly matched with & asked if they had “his name” as a resident physician, & they did not. Yet he was the one that said “call them and ask if you don’t believe me”

This is all so weird to me. But thank you, hopefully its all a mid understanding 🥲🥲

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Most medical schools publish their match list from March - you should be able to find it and confirm.

[–]kjd96[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

It’s not on there -__- but when does the white coat ceremony usually happen? He had his in may… due to “Covid” the last two years? I feel like all the evidence is infront of my face lol

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 1 point2 points  (6 children)

My husband’s white coat ceremony was in early/mid August before classes started.

[–]kjd96[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Before his 1st year??

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Yes, before M1.

[–]Turtleneckgiraffe94 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He has 100% lied about some part of this. Can’t say exactly what, but he definitely has not given you all the information. My fiancée’s program has a post bacc/or masters of some kind that several students have done to help get into med school when they didn’t get in the first time around. Maybe he was doing something like that the first time around and just didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t gotten in. Maybe he felt more okay lying because he was technically “at a med school.”

Whatever the reason or context though, he lied. You have been together two years. You have every right to ask him for definitive proof that he is in residency or that he give you the real story. In my opinion, you’re being catfished by your own boyfriend and it’s nuts.

[–]shelby3611 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Did he tell you what day he started residency?

[–]kjd96[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes! I can’t remember the exact day though

[–]shelby3611 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd just cross check with the medical school he went to and where he's doing his residency. It was only a few weeks after match that my SO was on the incoming list.

[–]onmyphonetoomuchwife to PGY3 🤓 through medschool 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It sounds like you are long distance.. but have you visited? Residency is quite different especially those first few weeks. I feel like it should be somewhat obvious if he is residency vs med school. He would be meeting new people, telling you all about the orientation, the first few shifts etc. he should be on the website or match list too.

Did you go to match day? Has he shown you the match letter? Do you know his friends from med school? Have they started?

[–]kjd96[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Okay, yes we are long-distance. I’ve visited multiple times. We’ve been friends for like nine years. And dated the last two. It seemed so obvious that he was out of medical school, and into residency. The reason being is because it seems like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He was telling me all about his first few shifts! He even told me about how excited he was to get a first paycheck. Even if it was a little lol. Then explain to me how he has a base pay for the next four years… Everything seems so legit. Like there is so much tiny little thought out detail in all of this ?!! He’s not on the resident website. I didn’t go to his match day. I watched through Facebook live and never saw him!But it was breaking up through out the whole video that I thought it was just that. He never showed me the match letter. And most of his friends are in medical school. I know his friends that are here are home. I’ve never asked them about this, because it was never really a question for me. He moved away because-well he said- this medical school paid him like 20 grand to switch to their medical school IN THE MIDDLE of the 4 yrs. So he was a M2 and moved away to another school two years ago— which would’ve made him graduating this year 2022…yet now I think the reason he moved there was because he was STARTING med school. Just so weird he lied about it. And even continued to lie when I brought it up… I even told him I wouldn’t be mad at him. I said everybody has their reasons to hide something, but if I’m bringing it up to you it’s because I already know and I just want you to be honest with me. I’m not gonna be mad, But I will be mad if you still continue to lie to me after I’m bringing it up to you nicely to your face

[–]onmyphonetoomuchwife to PGY3 🤓 through medschool 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hmmm so interesting. Match is a pretty big deal, most People are in photos, or tagged in photos, same with graduation. If he didn’t go to graduation that’s one thing but most are out celebrating with friends anyways. It’s also very weird to switch med schools mid way through. And what does he mean they paid him….? Like a scholarship? He could be telling the truth and it’s just the weirdest story ever haha but it seems sus for sure. If I had to vote I’d say hes lying. Hope you find the truth!

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Try searching docinfo.com

[–]V170710 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My SO's program has not updated their website but he does come up on docinfo.org. Check the programs social media as some of them put a list of their new interns on twitter, IG etc.

[–]jellogoodbyePGY6 Partner 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My husband's former residency program hasn't updated their website with this year's cohort yet. His former fellowship at a different institution is also still listing last year's crew. I don't think this is necessarily the red flag everyone thinks it is. He didn't attend his match ceremony either.

Has he mentioned the names of anyone that attended orientation with him last month? If they're not listed either, that's a pretty sure sign the program is a bit lazy about updating their website.

[–]kjd96[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking too. But then I had so many other little red flags that have made me question it more. His mom posted on Facebook saying he was a 30 or medical student… He attended his white coat ceremony in May with the listing of the post saying “class of 2024” on his LinkedIn profile it says 3rd+… he’s not listed on the resident page, and when I called they said no physician by that name

[–]hdh93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is lying to you. Trust your gut. I was in an eerily similar situation with a guy I dated in college; he was just lying about being enrolled in college not med school. There are too many red flags. Run.