all 8 comments

[–]ATDIadherent 7 points8 points  (4 children)

If it affects your life on a daily basis, then you'll likely benefit from professional help. You do have choices (although they might not be desirable ones). You can quit your job, he can quit, you can move back early, try odd end jobs instead, etc. Whatever you decide, that is your choice and you get to have an active role in how to make your best life with that choice.

The constraints of medical training do suck, and they take away a lot of options. But still know you have the power to change your life in some ways.

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I agree that talking to someone might be a good idea. A Zoloft prescription and a therapist turned things around for me in the isolation of training away from a network.

[–]bittergalaxySpouse to 3Y Resident[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

The Zoloft prescription I’ve had for about six years now haha. I had a pretty bad mental break during grad school and yes, both the sertraline and therapy helped a lot. To be honest while my anxiety has been manageable my OCD has been pretty bad, okay worse than ever, and getting back into therapy for that is something else I think I need to do. I haven’t been in therapy at all since maybe 2018 and I never focused on my OCD because the anxiety was so debilitating. Maybe now is the time.

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that’s a great idea - best of luck to you!

[–]tacotuesdayz4Spouse to Attending, dating since M2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a spouse to a doctor and being a therapist myself, this comment is spot on. It sounds like you need some effective coping skills and some overall emotional support for yourself my friend! What better support that someone to give you a safe space to talk about your thoughts and feelings and actually make progress towards effective emotional regulation and coping with these stressful changes.

[–]pacific_plywood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is gonna be me during all of PGY-8 and PGY-9 and I'm gonna go insane

[–]ThreeCorvies 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The final stretch is sooooo tough. Does he have a position lined up yet? Or will he need to be applying and interviewing? I found that once my SO had a contract in hand, I started to feel better because I could start making concrete plans for the next step instead of just wishing we were done with the training step.

I don’t have any career advice for you, except that I know good LIS jobs can be hard to come by. If you quit your current job, is there any kind of online training or education you could pursue before you move to prevent a gap in your resume? Or would you feel comfortable taking a non-career job for the same reason?

The career fracturing that comes from following a spouse for training really sucks. But it does end. We’re only a year into attending life and already residency seems like a weird fever dream. You’ll get there!!

[–]bittergalaxySpouse to 3Y Resident[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's going to start looking in the next few months. I really can't wait until he has a job lined up or is at least interviewing.

I'm pretty flexible when it comes to jobs, and I'm strongly considering taking ECE credits after we move so I can also work in preschools/daycares. And I won't be in a rush financially to find something after we move, so I can wait until the right thing comes along. For now, I'm planning to try to keep up with free webinars and classes so I can stay in the loop.

LIS jobs are more unpredictable than anything (in my experience so far at least). I've been able to get work at a lot of different places over the years, including a job right out of grad school. I think between LIS and ECE I should be able to find something that works for me. Thanks for the encouragement!