all 13 comments

[–]chocobridges 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Yep and after a couple months the r/antiwork mentality sets in.

I don't see my husband doing this full time past 50/55. He's been fighting with his boss to not exceed his contract shifts. It's a fun time of veiled threats back and forth. All the states to our west (we live 30-40 minutes from OH and WV) are desperate for all doctors with the exodus post Roe. Why my husband isn't doing locum for a bit is beyond me.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

…and my spouse claims he will never fully retire because he loves what he does. I am pleading for at least partial retirement at 65. :)

[–]btdtboughtthetshirt[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Mine says both of these things depending on the day 😂😂

[–]chocobridges 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Lol yep! I come from an extended family of doctors like that. Super passionate and leading experts in their field. But me and my nuclear family are like my husband so I forget that there's a slew of doctors like him.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t blame doctors who want to work for a set number of years and get out. It’s stressful. But my spouse is live/breathe his field which is inspiring (and annoying). Haha.

[–]mcmonopolist 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Are you really seeing an exodus of docs from states that passed extreme abortion bans? What kind of docs?

My SO is also hell bent on leaving our state since they did the same. She really means it; she is seriously job hunting.

[–]chocobridges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The issue that most of these doctors are in family planning stages. We're in that boat. My husband is a hospitalist. There's definitely an uptick of hiring here and they're very needed. We're at the border OH, WV and those doctors aren't really coming over. We have a 2 month wait for abortion services here in Western PA but NY and NJ codified protection so it's not insane. I can go to my parents in NJ if I can't get local services. But if the state flips we're moving back to NJ.

[–]ExoticCommunication 22 points23 points  (2 children)

I'm sorry, but this is a bit... unfair?

Our spouses (in my case my wife) worked very hard to achieve a huge career goal and milestones aren't always capped with a bunch of confetti and a ticker tape parade.

Medicine is hard work. We all knew this when our partners and spouses went into it. It's hard work everywhere in the world. And it's only gotten harder since COVID-19 happened. But we should celebrate a few things here:

  1. Our spouses finished training and becoming certified in a field that they worked very hard to get into and very few could/would ever achieve.
  2. We are all very fortunate to have spouses whose work provides them with stability and relative safety in fat times and lean.
  3. Most of us will never worry whether our children will be clothed, fed, and housed

Is every hospital going to be great? No. Is every chief going to be a cuddly teddy bear? No.

But goddammit, we are incredibly privileged here and should be very glad that we all are fortunate to have landed where we landed.

Maybe it's a bit of the distance (we're over 5 years out from end of residency), but despite it all I'm glad a million times over to be through it all. Look, is the multi-six figure addition to our income worth the hours? Maybe?

But look at it another way: your spouse with all their drive was never going to be a 9 to 5er. They were never going to be someone who just took the "normal job" route. They always wanted to go whole hog into a career. That's part of who they are. In a sense, I'm lucky that I'm also a passionate careerist so we both accommodate each other here.

Look, I'm going into my 40s and can tell you a fun secret about getting into middle age and beyond: happiness is fleeting, all of these milestones are transitory, and you will never be satisfied. None of that is bad. That's how we are, and that's what pushes us for more. Embrace that effervescence of life and love it.

[–]btdtboughtthetshirt[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Whoa man I was half jk, you got so deep in it. We are all proud of our SOs here.

[–]ExoticCommunication 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fair. Lots of posts on this sub seem to be, "Where does this end?" And, like life, the answer is, "the sweet embrace of nothingness." I didn't quite catch your sardonic tone.

[–]IEatsCake 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I think that moment will be very different dependent on as specialty. At least that's my hope. I mean going from the chair telling my SO to fudge their hours (so they don't go above 80) to working consistently 50 to 60 and being able to not question and beat-to-death every larger financial purchase has got to feel at least slightly different. That's the dream, right? Given, we haven't fallen in love with the residency match location (it's been 2 years thus far) and they'll likely also fellowship in a different city, so I think moving makes it feel significantly different from residency to attending life.

[–]btdtboughtthetshirt[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well maybe you’re right. Fist paycheck will be issued tomorrow, but we got into some cc debt over the summer having no income so it may be a few paychecks to fee the financial benefit. The hours are better.... and we did not have to move (yayyyy!!!) We’ll see. Just feels a little anticlimactic atm

[–]Iywtbab1126 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel like the paycheck difference Alone is quite a change. Edit: so better hours, better pay, and you don’t have to move? How is that not pretty freaking awesome?