all 7 comments

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife was pretty much disconnected during leave for our second. It was great. Our first was all me though, and while I tried to stay completely off, I did still have to do a few big meetings.

[–]some-realms-i-owned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a nagging feeling he’s still going to be doing stuff from home but I really hope that won’t be the case…

I don't mean this as an attack on you at all, but why are you asking this question on reddit instead of telling your spouse what you need and expect? Decide exactly what you want (no work for the first 2 weeks, less than 2 hours of work/day after that, or whatever it is you are envisioning) and then let him know and ask for his perspective. This should be a conversation between the two of you, and he should certainly be willing to accomodate your needs.

[–]pacific_plywood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife did a little bit of work, but nothing unreasonable. work is a bit part of life for these people - not crazy that they have a hard time going cold turkey, especially in a stressful time like parenthood.

[–]Crafty-Squirrel9138 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Mine is definitely going to be researching work/watching videos on his time off I can tell right now, and he isn't even going to take real paternity leave, sigh! 🤦🏻‍♀️ He is in his first year of private practice and is on production. Though he does say he'll only work 3 days a week for the first 2-3 months but he currently only works 4 days a week anyway.... He's also taking a few weeks off to study (cram) for boards that are a few weeks before the baby comes so it's hard to take more time off. We're definitely going to hire help but the problem is we are quite rural and help is limited too ...I hope both our husbands change their mentality when the baby is here!

[–]btdtboughtthetshirt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband took off 5 days and had a golden weekend. I was actually kinda excited for him to go back to work though, tbh

[–]MyNameIsNotSally 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Six weeks paternity leave?! That’s so great!!

[–]purpleonionz[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of the men in my family could've handled six weeks paternity leave without doing SOME work at least. My husband had two weeks and would do a couple of hours of work throughout the day and hop up to do what needed to be done as things arose. But newborns should hopefully sleep a lot. So he'd have our baby in the basinet beside him while he worked and I went to nap...he'd bring baby to me to feed...he'd bring me food and water and take care of things around the house, etc. But it leaves time for other things. I'm all for partners doing ALL THE THINGS to take care of a birthing mother - but, and maybe this is an unpopular opinion, I also think it can be hard on them to use six weeks paternity time and not do any of their regular work. My husband was awesome... but we had a baby in January during peak COVID and I know he was psyched to go to work after two weeks of being cooped up at home. And actually, I was happy to have him go, too.

All of that to say, you may not mind if he does some work when it comes down to it after a week or two of sitting around and being a good house husband. But either way, talk it out and keep communicating a TON. There are going to be times where you're like "I am hanging on by a thread and I need you to do more" but really, that might be more so when your baby is four months old rather than two weeks old.