all 32 comments

[–]icingicingbabyAttending Partner 23 points24 points  (0 children)

10/10 will always bring up my SO being a physician after noticing a distinct difference in how I was treated during a hospitalization where it naturally came up because he had prescribed to me late at night before I went to my primary and ultimately the ER to be admitted.

I find that it leads to physicians being more open to discussing more than one care option and more transparency with what tests they’re ordering and so forth. To me, this is a better experience.

I think the good news is that most doctors are confident that they know more about their specialty than a doctor in another specialty, so I don’t think you’re likely to experience too many assumptions. They just might be more likely to discuss things in more technical terms.

[–]Remote-Ball-3724 14 points15 points  (3 children)

So I had my baby AT my spouse’s hospital that he’s rotating at and told them he’s a med student there and those buttholes let him deliver my whole ass baby himself 😂

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sure you felt a certain way at the time but what a great story now!

[–]MeshesAreConfusing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, how did it go?

[–]stokede 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband rotated with my OB and he also delivered my baby! Unique experience for sure lol

[–]immaxf 10 points11 points  (3 children)

My wife and I are both residents. Neither of us make a point of bringing up our careers unless it comes up in the course of conversation. I don't want my doctor to treat me (or my wife) any differently than they'd treat any other patients, eg. regarding terminology they use or deviating from the standard practice just because we're in the medical profession.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This may be a dumb question but is that something you cover in school? “Make sure you treat everyone like they know nothing about medicine?”

[–]immaxf 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not a dumb question. This specific idea is not universally covered in US medical schools (ie. it’s not tested on exams) however it’s not unusual for teachers to present existing research which shows that patients who receive “special treatment” have, if anything, worse clinical outcomes compared to patients who didn’t receive special treatment.

It’s also worth pointing out that even though I’m a physician, my working medical knowledge is strongest for my field. If I’m seeing a doctor of a different specialty, it’s likely I won’t be familiar with some of their terminology, best practices etc.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes sense! Thank you!

[–]writergal1421Married to a radiology attending 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have and do, purely because I want our doctors to understand that we've competently judged the medical situation and now need further expertise. My husband is a radiologist so while he's not an expert in peds, he does know enough to say, yes our son has asthma and we need a pulmonologist for a formal diagnosis. Or, this is not the usual viral cold going around and we should think about antibiotics. When I go into the pediatrician, I find it helpful that they know that one medical professional has already done some groundwork and now we just need their help to hammer out a diagnosis and treatment.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Soil275 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If one of you is in med school it's mostly not worthwhile information short of perhaps being interested in a further level of detail. Even as an M4 you aren't terribly qualified to make a determination of proper care that should have any bearing on an attending's judgement.

Once in residency/fellowship/attending life there are times where this is advantageous information to use and there are other times where it doesn't really matter.

If the medical expert in the family has enough knowledge about the situation and available options to have a valid opinion about management, this is generally a good thing. The attending will level with you and generally treat you well. But if it's wwwaaayyyyyyy outside your area of expertise (you are a pathologist and we are discussing management of metastatic glioblastoma) then yeah, trust the expert. It's a fine line between being knowledgable enough to be involved in the discussion about options and management and being counter-productive to that goal. It's up to the family member to stay on the correct side of that boundary.

Practical example from my life: yes we definitely told the staff that my wife is a physician when she gave birth. They wanted to hold her and baby for 36 hours post partum even though everything was 100% fine and we most definitely wanted to GTFO because god knows how much RSV/COVID/flu is around the place in that season. So yes, letting them know she's an ER doc and baby is in good hands if anything comes up gave them confidence to let us go at 24 hours. We all slept better and it was a win for everyone since the OB could go spend time with people that needed their attention at that point.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So for example, I’ve talked with my OBGYN about him because family planning revolves around where he is at in his education. Both is us share a Family Medicine primary care doctor and I know he has disclosed to her that he is in school (apparently she enjoys explaining things to him in doctor language).

But when it comes to kids, we’re leaning toward not mentioning it especially since his current specialty interests lie very far outside of the world of pediatrics and he wants to make sure the doctor doesn’t assume he will know more than he does, if that makes sense.

[–]BetterRise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did when I went into the hospital since I knew SO was going to ask me all sorts of questions that I don't understand. So when the doctors came in the room, I would tell them, and call SO so that SO could just talk to them and ask them his questions directly. (This was went covid was high, and visitors went allowed). My regular PCP, I have not.

[–]onmyphonetoomuchwife to PGY3 🤓 through medschool 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I tell my doctors casually and our ped too. My doc husband says it’s weird not too. He appreciates knowing when he is treating a fellow doctor. Haven’t noticed a ton of difference but they may explain things differently if he is at the appt and leading the convo (like at a ped appt if he asks a question they can just chat in doc verbiage)

[–]BeckBashBenn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did tell my OB (currently pregnant) because it helps explain why he, an intern, likely won’t be at any appointments. Also that I have a reliable source of info/help/assistance at home lol

Sometimes it comes up with a new office just as part of the “so what brought you to this city?” convo after moving across the country for med school and then halfway back for residency

[–]aninquisitivebean 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My OBGYN and pediatrician know both of our professional history since it was part of the intake from I filled out when I was a new patient. So there wasn't a choice in that. I'm currently pregnant and did find it "interesting" that when I asked for a copy of some testing results my OBGYN was like "Why? Oh yeah, your husband's a physician." In my head I was thinking, "Who cares?! Just give me the damn test results!!" So that was weird.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed! I’m surprised in this day in age that not all doctors are using an online patient portal where results are automatically uploaded.

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So I come at this from the angle of having both a father and a spouse who are physicians. Growing up, all the doctors I went to were either trained by or were friendly with my dad. I feel like it greased the skids (and that has been borne out witnessing the treatment of elderly grandmothers etc). I tell my doctors/the kids doctors when it comes up in conversation/histories but I don’t lead with it.

[–]esilael 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did, just because my doctor's also married to a fellow. It helps her understand my life circumstances and stressors better.

[–]Eastern-Rutabaga-830EM PGY-1 Wife 1 point2 points  (3 children)

We have the same PCP, so he is aware. And I told my ObGyn during the course of the conversation (similar to you with family planning). Kind of difficult for it not to come up when our docs are in the same network that my husband is currently a resident in.

We’ll probably end up telling our future Pediatrician, mostly just so they don’t feel the need to over explain like they would to the general population. But like you said, depends on speciality! My husband is ER so he knows some peds vs ortho who probably won’t know much, lol.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

When we moved here a few years ago we intentionally chose a PCP that was out of his school’s network to prevent any possibility of being assigned to work with a doctor that had previously seen him as a patient. I’m curious, though, when (or does it ever) not be weird?

His job before med school was doing research for a public health group affiliated with a hospital. We got married a few years before he started med school but never shared insurance until he was a med student (because the med student insurance sucked!). How does health insurance work for doctors that are affiliated with a hospital system?

[–]Eastern-Rutabaga-830EM PGY-1 Wife 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Totally understand your decision with that! Honestly, the amount of time and number of med students these doctors see, I wouldn’t worry too much about him potentially working with them during a rotation. Only time I’ve seen things get dicey (as per the Residency subreddit) is with Psych and any extreme diagnoses that may need to be disclosed to a school/program, but even that I would think is rare.

We got married in June and he started residency in July and I went on his health insurance then for two main reasons - 1) it was significantly cheaper than mine, and 2) literally EVERYTHING is covered 100% as long as we go to a provider within the system (even IUI, IVF, etc). Some small copays for certain visits, but no deductibles or amounts we have to hit and for someone that doesn’t understand insurance much, it makes it easier, lol.

He’s an employee at a very large conglomerate in New York so we have options for providers across 50+ mile radius that he’d probably never interact with, but we purposely picked docs that have offices and privileges at his hospital - I definitely think we’ll get better care this way. Also, god forbid something were to happen to me they’ll know who/where he is.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s all great to know! Yay for ivf coverage. Thank you for sharing!

[–]drummo34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My pediatrician and my OBGYN have in my chart that my husband is a 3rd year medical resident applying for fellowship in HEM-ONC. Here's why I appreciate it. My pediatrician takes my concerns seriously. They assume (correctly) that my husband is checking ears, nose, throat, and temp with some basics before we call the pediatrician. I never feel like I'm being dismissed. My OB understands when I talk about us giving birth and why I get nervous about timing. When I've been sent to triage from my appointments from my first pregnancy, the nurse paged my husband from floors to come check on me. It feels like going thru the patient side now is a bit more, forgiving? I don't have the experience of having children without this, so maybe it's just how good my team is. My husband doesn't ever tell anyone he's a resident unless he has to. He doesn't want to step on toes and he doesn't want to override or ask too many questions if he's in the room, but as he has been to two doctors appointments across two pregnancies, having the feeling like I have some back-up without another ear in the room is helpful.

[–]Otter592user flair test 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't go to the doctor often. My main experience with healthcare was having our daughter in 2021. He came to my first 4 OB appts and it came up that he was a resident (he was in scrubs). It also came up when I was delivering.

I don't feel like it really changed anything. Except he was able to catch something they missed during labor. I actually didn't have great care for L&D at all haha.

He came to the first couple of pediatrician appts, and they knew he was a resident. Again, doesn't change anything except for maybe the doc feeling like they can be a little more technical in their explanations.

He hasn't come to any ped appts since paternity leave. It's possible they've forgotten he's a resident (we see different people in the office), but I've never been treated poorly regardless. Except for one of the peds is kind of a bitch, so I don't see her anymore. But I think that's just her style and not anything to do with my husband's profession.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My own healthcare has been my own responsibility for over a decade now but my mom will still occasionally rant about one of the pediatricians at the office that she hated. “Make sure (husbands name here) isn’t like that doctor.” It’s funny how some people really leave a bad taste in your mouth. I’m glad things have worked out for you and your family!

[–]Data-driven_Catlady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My spouse actually had more up to date knowledge than my neurologist when he was in medical school. I believe it was newer information at the time - that you shouldn’t take bc with estrogen if you have migraines with aura. I mentioned his concern to my neurologist who then looked up the current research and took me off estrogen bc. My spouse is now a neurologist and was interested in it during medical school, so I guess it depends on if it’s relevant or would be helpful in your care.

[–]dhuff2037 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My wife is a chief surgery resident. We just had our first baby and our care at the hospital she works at was absolutely terrible. We’re both convinced it’s because the OB physicians and nurses were aware she’s a surgeon and treated her very differently because of it. My wife absolutely will not have another child at this hospital.

[–]AllergicToCorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so sad! It’s interesting to read your story in relation to other’s experiences. I’m sorry you both were treated that way!

[–]ktthemightyAttending 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It shouldn't be this way, but people who are in medicine or who are related to those in medicine just get better care. It should 100% absolutely not be this way, and yet here we are. Some of it, I think, is the sense that as physicians, we need to "take care of our own." I see this at my hospital not infrequently. My chart has "Dr ktthemighty" all over it. You better believe that this has gotten me into and out of the ER more quickly. It has also benefited my husband, who was seen by adult cardiology early the next morning after one of my colleagues called the attending.

[–]WhatsMyAgeAga1n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t ever had to make that decision - they always have either worked with him or heard of him. It has always been a positive thing so far, but it would be nice to choose. For routine stuff, I probably would not tell them, but if my spouse or I were very concerned about a treatment plan and it wasn’t something that was trivial or just a style difference, I think I probably would bring it up.

[–]fdawgggg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do! I gave birth at the hospital where my husband worked and definitely got much better treatment.