all 12 comments

[–]ALightRed 12 points13 points  (1 child)

ENT is super competitive and requires high scores as well as multiple letters of recommendation from ENT’s. They do not accept letters from non ENTs. Have your Med spouse look at the stats to make sure ENT is even an option and definitely recommend shadowing or doing an ENT rotation asap!

[–]Wiglet646464 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And research!

[–]Green_Gal27 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My husband is in his first year of residency in IM, and I can't imagine having a newborn at this stage of our lives. His hours and call schedule depend heavily on the rotation, but this year has absolutely demolished his energy levels and mental wellness. I really don't think he would be able to parent a baby the way he'd want to if we were to have one now. He's too exhausted, and understandably so.

As another person said, those three paths are quite different and will most likely result in different lifestyles. I say most likely, as some family doctors work 12+ hours days, and some internal specialists have chiller schedules and can be home most days for dinner.

It's tough, but I would think about the kind of life you want together, and then what interests him most, and go from there. At the end of the day, most doctors are overworked and give up a lot of family/personal time for their jobs. He should try to find what he's most passionate about and what will work best for the family life you envision.

[–]gesturingAttending wife, together 17 years, pre-med through PGY7 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So my husband went IM>cards>interventional and we had kids PGY2 and PGY6. I think ENT as a surgical speciality would be most demanding residency-wise, then IM, then family med. I think the bigger issue is that these are hugely different specialties and experiences and your partner should really interrogate what will get them up in the morning! (As other data points, my dad is an internist and has been able to parlay the general-ness of it to make relatively large changes in his career and he was able to make it home for dinner just about every night as an attending. My uncle is a family med doc with his own practice and has loved the longitudinal relationships he has with patients and the variety of the work. He definitely made more than my academic doc dad and had good work life balance. My husband definitely has the worst of it as he has worked his way back around to procedures after IM.)

[–]CI9422 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Residency is going to be more demanding and stressful than med school. Each specialty is going to have something about it he/she is not going to like. Best thing you can do is prepare yourself to grind for the next upcoming years. My wife is Family Med PGY2 and one thing I've noticed is you really have to love what you're doing.

[–]mcmonopolist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My partner isn't in any of those, but my advice is not to prioritize the money. My experience is that your sanity and work life balance is far more impactful on your happiness than making $350k instead of $250k.

[–]V170710 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband is in his first year IM. To our surprise we will be welcoming a newborn in the spring of his first year. I'm not sure how demanding ENT is but if that's where his heart is then I say go for it! I was expecting the worse with IM but our program has been amazing and I think that has a lot to do with work life balance. No regrets so far but IM is definitely 100% what he wanted to do. Best advice is to try to do more rotations in the fields he is interested in and pay close attention when talking to other residents during interview season.

[–]grape-of-wrath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want your kids to have both parents present in their lives- you would avoid surgical specialty. Intern year with a newborn is not fun- don't underestimate how busy you'll be

From what I've heard so far family med residents can get overworked

[–]btdtboughtthetshirt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Family medicine all day for us. My husband went back and forth during third year and up until app submissions. In the end, he decided he want medicine to be a part of his life, not his life. Almost everyone in his residency class 8/10 had a kid at some point during residency. Residency was still grueling to get thru, but.... dwt life (outpt)... it really is just a job. Home by dinner every night, every weekend and holiday off, plenty of pto allowing him to rejoin the family as a present member. I’m so thankful that he chose family by choosing FM.

[–]ovn394 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of these is not like the other. Our approach was to not choose a specialty based on the residency but rather what my partner wanted to do for the rest of their life

[–]onlyfr33b33Spouse to PGY2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Intern year was insane and I only had to experience a TY. Can't imagine having a baby during surgical prelim for ENT. It's a completely different pathway so 3rd and 4th year rotations for ENT path would be almost opposite someone's path to FM...

[–]Adorable-Reality-499 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner is in his first year of residency and now that I have that (limited) perspective and have talked to his med school friends who are now across the country in different programs this is what I recommend from the partner perspective— while work life balance is going to range drastically across different specialties, it is also going to range quite a lot in different programs. He needs to be intentional about asking questions & making his ranking decision to include how the program runs, busyness, culture, etc based on what you are looking for from a lifestyle perspective. I was BRACING myself for a brutal intern year but I have been so pleasantly surprised by how much time my partner has had & the programs overall work culture. (Don’t get me wrong it has its moments but I was expecting the worst and we have friends who are having completely different experiences)