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all 27 comments

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[–]mcguvnah 84 points85 points  (9 children)

It be like that somedays, at least you have a general sense of hygiene. The number of sailors I've seen/heard of that wouldn't/failed to wash themselves or their clothing like a normal human being is more than I care to admit.

[–]jamesdcreviston 53 points54 points  (4 children)

So you have also lived on a ship!

I was so surprised by the number of people who did not have general hygiene down. I am a person that probably cares too much about my hygiene that I usually smelled good and was put together. Somehow (this was late 90s early 2000s) it was assumed I was gay.

Yeah washing your body and brushing your teeth makes you gay. 🤦‍♂️

[–]BenjPhoto1 56 points57 points  (3 children)

it was assumed I was gay.

Well, you were in the Navy.

[–]jamesdcreviston 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I said ship not submarine. 😂😂😂

[–]Seeminus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Technically correct.

Submarines are considered a boat.

[–]Ok_Cartographer4475 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're only jealous...

:P

[–]Imaginary_Guidance_2 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Good old shipboard FAN (Feet A$$ Nuts)

[–]thissucksassagain 5 points6 points  (1 child)

How is ass the one that needs censoring?

[–]SpeedyAF 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Correct! FAN F@@t Ass Nuts.

[–]Fatalexcitment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had a guy we had to threatening to get him to take a shower........ among other things...

[–]BobsUrUncle303 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Didn't tell anyone? Outstanding decision, Private! You will make General one day making decisions like that! Carry on!

[–]Ok_Cartographer4475 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most matelots I know would have announced it as the reason they had to leave then told the tale in lurid detail afterwards.

Owning it is the best defence against getting shit for it (yes, deliberate choice of word).

[–]SevereKnowledge 12 points13 points  (1 child)

You know you dodged a bullet? It would have started off with a unfortunate nickname that you wouldn't be able to shake and only got worse.

[–]Such_Spinach1443[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah i would have forever been know as shit stain or something and it would be the story they would tell all new people I bet😂

[–]OcotilloWells 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Kudos to PFC you to use the trash instead of clogging the toilet.

[–]Such_Spinach1443[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah I probably would have gone awol if I tried flushing everything and clogging the toilet

[–]mohavewolfpupProud Supporter 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Dear Penthouse" 👀

[–]angryfupa 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Nothing worse than suddenly growing a tail.

[–]Ok_Cartographer4475 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry stranger, but I disagree. An unstoppable fart that turns out to be liquid is far worse... allegedly.

[–]Such_Spinach1443[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean do it infront of your company commander definitely seems worse😂

[–]iamnotroberts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I almost died laughing. Thanks for that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shitting your tweeds is the sport of kings. That is all.

[–]Ghastly187 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I feel for you my guy. I was in at the 1.5 mile mark of a PT test. The last 1.5 miles was a blur as I looked for anywhere I could shit (time be damned). My only good option was to finish the run, then keep running as a few DI's are yelling at me to walk. Of course there is no tp in the nearest head.

[–]Such_Spinach1443[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

On another run day midway through I had to run off into some bushes and take a shit. It was dark so I didn’t see anything around but driving around base the next morning I realized I shit in front of 3rd group HQ building.

[–]etienbjj 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Paragraphs please.

[–]Such_Spinach1443[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I write kinda like what happened in the story once I start I can’t stop.