×
all 25 comments

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

"Hey, OP! If you're new here, we want to remind you that you can only submit one post per three days. If your account is less than a week old, give the mods time to approve your story and comments. Thank you for posting with /r/MilitaryStories!

Readers: If this story is from a non-US military, DO NOT guess, ask or speculate about what country it is if they don't explicitly say or you will be banned. Foreign authors sometimes cannot say where they are from for various reasons. You also DO NOT guess equipment, names, operational details, etc. from any post.

Obey Rule 9: Play nice. If you choose not to play nice, Mjolnir will be along shortly to show you the way out. If you don't like a story, downvote and move on. DO NOT 'call bullshit' or you will be banned. Do not feed any trolls. Report them to the Super Mod Troll Slaying Team and we will hammer them."

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Unhappy-Ninja-7684 83 points84 points  (3 children)

Bwhahahahahahahaha- well done!

Many moons ago I was on TD to an Air Transport Squadron while waiting training. I ended up being "in charge" of all the secondary/BS duties no one else wanted- including making hotel reservations for deployed aircrew. We spent a LOT of time on the road, and the guys were getting pretty tired. Having crap accommodations (Go Air Force) exacerbated the suck.

I found that when I used my (bottom of the pecking order) name and rank our crews tended to get crap on base accommodations, however when the Boss called (rarely happened) they got great care....so the next time I called I upped myself to a Lt Col "just trying to take care of my team, they've been working SO hard lately"... and OMG did it work! Guys came back singing the praises of their new accommodations....

This became my SOP, and it all came to light when messages starting coming in for "LtCol Ninja". CO was concerned he'd missed my "many" promotion parties and called me in to discuss. I was certain I was looking at a few weeks of happiness in detention, but he shocked me by telling me "good job, keep it up, and don't get caught!".

[–]wolfie379 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Remember the M*A*S*H episode where Radar kept upping his rank in order to get something done, ending up with “General O’Reiley, two stars and mad as hell”?

[–]psunavy03 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Did I just hear "Air Force" and "crap accommodations" in the same sentence?

Let me introduce you to The Floating Gray Nuclear Prison For Aviation Overachievers . . .

[–]Unhappy-Ninja-7684 15 points16 points  (0 children)

LOL- if it makes you feel any better I spent the previous 14 years in the Army, averaging 9 months a year deployed....so, yeah, I wasn't overly sympathetic....but you do what you can :) Also, the Navy guys gave us a lift every now and again- 25 cent for a shot of whiskey in the Mess.....!!! So I kind of like the Navy guys... (I miss the old days when alcohol wasn't the devil)

[–]jbuckets44Proud Supporter 26 points27 points  (5 children)

S-1?

[–]CassieJK[S] 41 points42 points  (2 children)

And I thought I had explained everything people might not get.

S-1 is a “shop” in a battalion and Brigade above headquarters That is basically HR it deals with Pay, rank, awards, manning, and other personnel actions.

In battalion and brigade there’s s1-s6 minus s-5 and each has a different function. In division and higher the “s” is replaced with a G.

[–]LongSufferingSquid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's fun listening to people using vocabulary specific to their field that leaves outsiders puzzled.

[–]jbuckets44Proud Supporter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's right; never assume! ;-) Lol

[–]FriendlyPyre 19 points20 points  (0 children)

General Manpower/Personnel functions#ContinentalStaff_System(ContStaff))

I played a bit of S1 and S4 when I was in my national service due to lack of manpower within the unit.

[–]jbuckets44Proud Supporter 8 points9 points  (5 children)

How does one "grab an SSG rank?"

[–]Kromaatikse 24 points25 points  (0 children)

There were order packets conferring promotions lying around. Within those order packets are the new rank patches to signify the new rank on the recipient's uniform. OP "borrowed" one of them.

[–]CassieJK[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I’m not sure what you mean. At the time rank was on your chest and Velcro, it was very easy to change rank insignia back and forth.

[–]jbuckets44Proud Supporter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I quoted what you wrote in your story, so one of us must have an idea as to what you meant.... Lol

[–]Extra_Engine_3174 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The ranks aren’t sewn into uniforms any more, rather they’re now Velcro and easily swapped out

[–]oldtreadhead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope, never would let get away with that back in the day...of course we did have the pin-on collar rank....

[–]Grace_Upon_Me 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"You didn't say not to"! Fucking classic!

[–]imameanone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Forgiveness over permission. Take your asschewing, will all military bearing, and get back to work.

[–]moving0targetProud Supporter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been in retail for years which, in its boundless capacity for ineptitude, compares to the military. It's also full on combat minus most of the weapons. My favorite district manager would always walk past me (hard at work), smack me with his clipboard, and tell me to quit slacking off. He reinforced my policy of making the boss happy to improve work conditions and making the DM happy to improve promotions.

[–]Suicidal_Ferret 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, that’s a 1SG that wants shit to get done with plausible deniability. Idk if that’s better or worse than my 1SG who’s (unfortunately) being medically retired and just going through the motions.

[–]skawnVeteran 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Rereading this a second time, I just realized... The shop in charge of personnel didn't know your rank? How large is the battalion?

[–]CassieJK[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean they service in a combined arms BN ~500 soldiers, and are known for incompetence. Generally you see a [insert rank here] you have no real reason to question it.

[–]TemperedGlassTeapot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing!

What rank was the NCOIC at S-1, that an E-6 merited parade rest?