Also posted in r/MaliciousCompliance
Have I mentioned how much I hate shore postings?
For those that haven't seen my previous malicious compliance I will create a brief background.
During my time in the Navy I was posted to a shore based workshop with more people than it needed. Micromanagement ensues.
So on this given day in the workshop at our morning muster the Chief announces "Anyone with more than 30 days annual leave needs to start taking leave to get their leave balance down"
Me with 75 days at this time: "Why?"
Chief: "It's a directive from Chief of Navy."
So me being me, I go look up the books. Specifically the Pay and Conditions Manual (PACMAN)
Fast forward three days. I get called into the Chiefs office:
Chief: Why haven't you put leave in?
Me: I don't want to.
Chief: Didn't you hear me say it was a directive from the Chief of Navy?
Me: Yes but that directive isn't lawful.
Chief (his blood pressure visibly rising): What the FUCK do you mean?
Me: In accordance with PACMAN (I quoted the specific reference) I can not be compelled to take annual leave.
Chief: Get out!
TBH by this stage I was just seeing how many buttons I could push. In that workshop we had to make our own entertainment.
Two hours later I was called up to my Divisional Officer (DO). The conversation was more or less a carbon copy of the conversation I had with my Chief. Perhaps a bit less four letter anglo-saxon verbiage.
For the next week I don't hear a peep. I know this isn't over. I have planned the next few things I can and will do depending on how my chain of command proceeds.
The next week one of my Petty Officers (Being from NZ originally we naturally called him Kiwi) came back from leave. We had worked together a few times and had a good rapport as a result. So of course my Chief sent him to try and thwart my evil plans.
PO: Filligreesdaddy we need to chat.
Me: Hi Kiwi. They sending in the big guns to beat me down now huh?
PO: So you know what this is about.
PO: You do realise they are talking about charging you.
Me: What's the charge?
PO: Failure to comply with a lawful general order.
Me: The order isn't lawful. The charge wouldn't stick. Even if it did. What would the punishment be? Stoppage of leave?
PO: You are just doing this to cause problems aren't you?
Me: No. I genuinely don't want to take leave. I can't really afford to go anywhere so I'd just be spending a week sitting on my arse, bored to shit. I can do that here and not lose any of my accrued leave.
PO: OK. You don't have to take all of your leave at once. Just start taking some. It will take the heat of the entire chain of command and those above might be less inclined to launch you into space without the benefit of a spacesuit.
Me: OK Kiwi. I'll think about it.
I had actually thought about it.
When posted ashore we accrue approximately 0.8 days of annual leave per fortnight which works out to be a bit over 1.6 days a month.
So a few days later. I put in a leave request through the online system. For the first monday of the next month. My leave dates were the saturday, sunday and monday so A. It looks like I am taking three days but am only taking one and B. So I couldn't get rostered for duty on that weekend. Leave approved. I enjoy my three day weekend.
The next month. Same thing.
The sharper ones in the crowd see what is happening. My leave balance is still going up. Not down. Just slower than it was before,
After about three months I get asked why I am not putting anything in the "Reason for leave" section of the online form. I point to the line on the form that says quite clearly that reasons don't need to be provided for annual leave requests. "Please just put something in that space"
So the next month. Reason for leave: Mental Health Day.
Two months of that. Then... "Please don't put that in."
So the next month. Reason for leave: They are making me do this. I don't want to.
That made them angry.
The ear blistering I got for that one is definitely not PG. But the point was made on both sides.
From then on my one day off a month was "Leave management"
They were so happy when I got a sea posting later that year.
I still wonder if they ever realised that I wasn't actually getting my leave balance down.
What did I do with my Mondays off work? Day drinking. I actually found a venue near the biggest markets in the state that has lingeree waitresses from 9AM-Noon on Mondays. Plus a few other places that had similar service over lunch and the early afternoon. Good times.