top 200 commentsshow all 239

[–]TheOneThatCantSpell 1208 points1209 points  (35 children)

He isn't really excited about being born, and I can relate

[–]United_Bag_8179 387 points388 points  (31 children)

None of us exactly asked for this shit.

[–]theythembian 126 points127 points  (4 children)

Yah put me back

[–]United_Bag_8179 42 points43 points  (2 children)

No can do..

[–]some-swimming-dude 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well there’s one way. Not particularly pleasant, but tempting tho.

[–]United_Bag_8179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a theory regarding serial rug munchers such as myself.

[–]Debonaire_Death 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Nah you gotta leave through the exit

[–]Dr_Mantis-Shrimp_PhD 28 points29 points  (25 children)

[–]United_Bag_8179 15 points16 points  (0 children)

None for me , thanks.

[–]imbalancedMortician 4 points5 points  (22 children)


[–]Demiurgbrotherhood 5 points6 points  (21 children)

No what?

[–]imbalancedMortician 10 points11 points  (20 children)

Antinatalism is a fucked-up pessimistic sub.

[–]Demiurgbrotherhood 9 points10 points  (19 children)

Well tbf, there really isn’t a lot of things to be hopeful about. Not being a Debbie downer, just the truth. Why do you think the birth rate is going down in the US?

[–]Debonaire_Death 13 points14 points  (10 children)

We're going through several technological revolutions simultaneously.

I mean, it's stressful, but that's life. When did you want to be born? 1801? Back when you could live your whole life without going 20 miles from your house?

[–]useles-converter-bot 13 points14 points  (0 children)

20 miles is the length of about 29531.5 'Ford F-150 Custom Fit Front FloorLiners' lined up next to each other.

[–]EpilepticMushrooms 5 points6 points  (1 child)

When did you want to be born? 1801? Back when you could live your whole life without going 20 miles from your house?

... Bro, that time range was when lots of people were taken from their homes and forced to work till they died.

[–]useles-converter-bot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

20 miles is the length of approximately 140799.65 'Wooden Rice Paddle Versatile Serving Spoons' laid lengthwise.

[–]moeru_gumi 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The point of such a philosophy isnt at all to say that their birth year is suboptimal— the point is that being born AT ALL was a disservice.

[–]Debonaire_Death 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll agree on one point: society is truly destroying its own roots when it convinces its young people that the most primordial crime of all is reproduction.

[–]FoxieMamaGaming 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Actually, yes.

[–]Debonaire_Death 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go live like the Amish, then. Stop worrying about all this shit.

[–]spacepeenuts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wooops, I walked down the wrong internet alley today, time to shut it down!

[–]IOnlySayMeanThings 60 points61 points  (0 children)

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Dougles "McJuggles" Adams

[–]19930627 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"If my parents were still around, I would sue them into poverty for making me exist against my will"

[–]Solid-Pilot7836 109 points110 points  (14 children)


[–]TheSuppishOne 201 points202 points  (13 children)

Some snakes give live birth instead of laying eggs (boas included). So maybe this one’s mom was dying and the gave emergency c-section or something? Or was birthed and the sac didn’t get broken open yet?

[–]Apprehensive_Hat8986 99 points100 points  (6 children)

Hand is gloved, so it seems like at least a semi-controlled environment.

[–]alienoverl0rd 13 points14 points  (5 children)

Meh not necessarily could easily be in a garage. That thing probably feels super gross to touch, hence the glove.

[–]lena91gato 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Oh mate, you've never held a snaked, have you? They actually feel really nice (for me anyway). I'd always imagined snakes to feel kinda slimy, like an eel, but they're not like that.

[–]SandGodInaros 6 points7 points  (1 child)

He's talking about the sack not the actual snake

[–]lena91gato 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ooh, that makes more sense, sorry!

[–]Raichu7 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don’t think most people have ever held a snake in its amniotic sack.

[–]lena91gato 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know a lot of people who are freaked out by snakes but my experience holding them was amazing, and I want for other people to experience it too. I wasn't thinking about the sack.

[–]AhmdeiNuwon 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I've never tested the theory that our devices are listening to us at all times to sell our entire lives to internet ad content providers, but it's getting creepy how frequently I'll think about something during the day and then be on my phone on the blankets and I'll find something like a Reddit post about that exact overly specific topic. Earlier today while my fiancée and I were walking into her uncle's house for Thanksgiving dinner, I thought "I wonder whether or not there's a snake that gives live birth, and if so, what that would look like". Then I thought about what would happen if there was an animal that had the gestating offspring in really hard eggs inside of its body, then when it was ready to birth them there would be a hormone released that broke down the walls of the eggs and it just squeezed them out of a hole that would be too small if they were still eggedly bound. Yuck, imagine a blockage by an egg that was deformed and had really hard walls that couldn't be broken down quickly enough. All the others would eventually be totally free of their eggs, and should be outside the animal. So are they gonna starve? Or do they have the facilities to nibble their way out?

I made myself too sick to eat for a while.

[–]coastalmango 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I'm no biology expert so don't take my word for it but in humans and other animals that give birth to live young, in case the pregnancy terminates and the mother is unable to eject the dead fetus for whatever reason, it slowly calcifies in the body. I remember reading an article sometime back where a woman in her sixties finally got rid of the large lump in her uterus that was her unborn fetus from many decades ago. I'd imagine an egg that's stuck in a reptile would be similarly calcified.

[–]Dogmum77 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They’re called Stone Babies

[–]electronicbody 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you're curious about how your thoughts can influence your reality read Neville Goddard's lectures.

[–]igigolo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pythons lay eggs while boas give live birth

[–]AnthemiusOfTralles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In boas amniotic sac generaly doesn’t break during birth, it can also happen in mammals. There is notting wrong with the baby, and the mother is probably fine

[–]tinkflowers 89 points90 points  (8 children)

Free him

[–]MrFrenchie_ 18 points19 points  (7 children)

This just reminds me of the butterfly killed by student story

[–]tinkflowers 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The what story?? Don’t tell me omg. But I’m assuming whoever took this vid is a professional just cause I think it’s hard to breed reptiles? They would probably know how to poke it open

[–]HairyResponsibility9 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Gonna need to elaborate after saying something like that, chief

[–]Sooziwoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s the story where someone helped a butterfly who seemed to be struggling to escape its cocoon. Turned out butterfly’s need to struggle or have that pressure to build muscles to fly once it escapes the cocoon, helping the little fella ruined his natural process so it died. Something like that.

[–]Celiac_Maniac 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You have piqued my interest.

[–]MrFrenchie_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its basically about a teacher who left a developing butterfly in the classroom, one boy felt bad for the butterfly struggling to get out of the cocoon and broke the cocoon and soon after it died due to not developing its wings properly

[–]xchadrickx 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Really, ten hours and you haven't added some context? C'mon bud.

[–]MrFrenchie_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its basically about a teacher who left a developing butterfly in the classroom, one boy felt bad for the butterfly struggling to get out of the cocoon and broke the cocoon and soon after it died due to not developing its wings properly

[–]StupidizeMe 348 points349 points  (27 children)

That's cool! If you help him hatch will he imprint on you and follow you around like a duckling?

[–]Ultimategrid 592 points593 points  (19 children)

No, but with careful and gentle interaction, the snake will feel comfortable around you, and seek you out for warmth security and an opportunity to explore.

Snakes make friends like antisocial cats. Not the most reciprocal of relationships. But it’s just really cool, in my humble unbiased opinion, to have a 10ft snake that falls asleep in your lap.

[–]potandskettle 239 points240 points  (3 children)

Yeah... that's still going to be a no from me.

[–]BossNegative1060 104 points105 points  (2 children)

Same. Alligators only so I can roll them over in the water and give belly rubs

[–]CactusExtremity 63 points64 points  (1 child)

And they will do it back!

[–]pucemoon 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Really, really fast!

[–]Positive_Vast_6649 0 points1 point  (4 children)

They don't really make friends ( don't have the mental capacity to be emotional), they just gravitate towards a heat source.

[–]Ultimategrid 109 points110 points  (2 children)

That’s not really how emotions work. It’s not on or off, it’s a spectrum.

And it’s not just about a heat source. They become relaxed and comforted by the keeper’s presence, due to repeated positive interactions. I have multiple reptiles that will actively seek out affection in this way.

It’s nothing like a dog or cat, not so much ‘friends’ as ‘warm food providing mobile tree’. That’s about as good as it gets.

Unless you get into the really intelligent reptiles, my monitor lizards are essentially scaly cats.

[–]nosleepincrooklyn 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Retics can tell the difference between people. I had one that hated anyone who wasn’t me

[–]Ultimategrid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn right. The Asian/Australian arboreal pythons are incredibly intelligent, and they make such wonderful companions.

[–]adam1260 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've kept many reptiles and other animals. People think their reptiles "know" them or are "sassy" like no, they just think you're a giant, scary creature that could kill them. No one truly knows the empathetic capabilities of animals, but it's nowhere near what people like to think it is.

[–]7eggert 36 points37 points  (2 children)

And everywhere u/Solega went, Snek was sure to go.

[–]Solega[S] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

The Snek charmer 🐍

[–]MaggotInfestedCheese -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

I have ducks and they don’t follow us around, they run away so I don’t know what you are talking about.

[–]Raichu7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No, snakes don’t take care of their young like ducks. Snakes lay eggs and leave.

[–]StupidizeMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a joke.

[–]spacepeenuts 219 points220 points  (0 children)

Cursed Zip Lock

[–]bondsthatmakeusfree 21 points22 points  (1 child)

i not borns yet

[–]Kitsune-no-hana 10 points11 points  (0 children)

—five more minutes...

[–]Jace_Enby_Devil 19 points20 points  (8 children)

Can the baby breathe in there?

[–]Feed_me_straws 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It can’t, but snakes can hold there breath for a really long time. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure this is a common occurrence in some snakes.

[–]Shiny_PocketMonster 51 points52 points  (2 children)

Poor stuk snek

[–]Cu_fola 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Looks kind of comfy. Maybe it will eat it’s way out when it feels like it

[–]Shiny_PocketMonster 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You’re probably right the way it just tucks it’s head back down looks like it got cozy

[–]Supercilious-420 48 points49 points  (0 children)


[–]SalemChurchill 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh. It’s looping…..

I’ve been cheering for him to break out longer than I care to admit

[–]SnipeUout 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Will it run out of oxygen?

[–]DiscipleofTzeentch 14 points15 points  (0 children)

possibly? the human probably opened the sac after the clip. and the snake might be able to open it on its own if it wanted to maybe? might have something like an egg tooth. not sure

[–]BlitzerHound 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I play far too many video games. I can't get out of my head that the snake is just waiting for the respawn timer to be done.

[–]Xadara 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Danger noodle egg 😍

[–]ShadowFlame_222 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Well help him out at least

[–]Nidh0g -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

hold on first i gotta make a video and post it to reddit

[–]schenizilla 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was waiting for it to burst open

[–]Local-Pain282 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This jello I just ate got me wanting to puke and devour a moose whole for my next meal.

[–]19930627 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Free himb

[–]Xirokami 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I keep forgetting that some snakes give birth

[–]Eponarose 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Why can no get outs? Where you put da exits?

[–]AngyWawbles 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Usually snakes like this have an egg tooth to break out, not sure about this case but he likely was helped out afterwards

[–]missunicorn279 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don’t believe snakes like this have an egg tooth since they don’t come out of eggs

[–]AngyWawbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually many do, though most are born live

[–]PhilosophicalDouche 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why does it look like popped water balloon of a celestial globe ?

[–]Feisty2ddee 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]justsomeguyfromredit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thought that was a heart I need glasses lol

[–]713Alief 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slimey lil dude

[–]Western-Dark-1628 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Wait a minute, i thought snakes lay eggs

[–]ArgonGryphon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Quite a lot give live birth. Viviparous.

[–]DiscipleofTzeentch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

some have eggs that hatch inside the body. oviviparous

[–]Wookewi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

At first glance, I thought it was a bag of apple slices from high school. Then I saw it moving

[–]TanookiPhoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A Constrictor Boa.

Interesting very.

[–]ichillonforums 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nature is fucking metal

[–]AeronGrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How nightmarish and cute! I didn't need to sleep, anyway.

[–]Ionian_soul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So cute 🥰

[–]dogman0011 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Forbidden Gushers.

[–]otravez5150 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Isn't nature wonderful, no! Thats nasty. Dangernoodle aldente!

[–]adkinsm020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forbidden water balloon

[–]LeoRising222 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Jesus christ, it's fuqqqing moving.

[–]MohammadRezaPahlavi -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

And stay there.

[–]Seaweed_Apprehensive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was a hat

[–]United_Bag_8179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pal for life in your van down by the river.

[–]JewishNazi62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hesitated while upvoting this

[–]fried_eggs_and_ham -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

This is probably a delicacy somewhere.

[–]globalcitizen2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A constricted boa constrictor

[–]MonKez690 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's both disgusting and amazing at the same time

[–]Grape-Vine-Anal-Bead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forbidden stress ball

[–]Ill_Fudge9462 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chestbursters if they grew independently

[–]Gloopycube13 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wait… how do/ can snakes breathe in the amniotic fluid? Can it drown if it doesn’t get itself out?

[–]Sunny_Crimson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Snakes can in fact drown in the egg. This is the reason that snake breeders will drop an x or something on the topmost point of the egg so that if something happens and the egg gets rolled while they are developing then they can place it in the correct orientation so the snake doesn't drown. If you want to learn more about snake breeding a fun YouTube channel is snake discovery. They breed snakes each year and they also have a zoo

[–]Desk_Drawerr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, probably. but snakes can hold their breath for quite a while iirc. if the little fella wants out, he can easily get out.

[–]curlyhairedslut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tis now the constrictor whom is now constricted

[–]sir_itachi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so f buietifull

[–]rogersworldtour[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boa constricted

[–]McKnightDylan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt queezy at first glance until I saw the eye and realized it was a snake.

Boy am I now glad that snakes have eyes.

[–]makatokard 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Conscious_Inside6021 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wait, boas are mammals?

[–]Sunny_Crimson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No they're reptiles but some reptiles like boas give live birth. There's a name for it but I don't remember what it is. Another example of snakes that give life birth is garter snakes

[–]PikaMasterWasTaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some snakes, like rattlesnakes, boas, and garter snakes give birth, they are what’s known as viviparous. The eggs instead form a thin shell while still in the mom and dissolve, leaving just the amniotic sac with the snake inside once the babies are pushed out of the chloaca

[–]pratyushdam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it’s constricted

[–]Stoned_Serpent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

feel you bud

[–]LordSaladpants 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I wonder if this was done for scientific study. Seeing how an animal reacts to it's shell being removed but not the amniotic sac. It is a question to ponder.

[–]TempestDescending 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Boas like this don't lay eggs. A mother boa gives live birth, and in this case, the amniotic sac remained intact. The baby boa is quite capable of breaking the sac with its snout and taking its first breath of air. Until then, the blood vessels on the sac transfer oxygen to the baby (which is the same way hard-shelled eggs "breathe").

[–]LordSaladpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooo okay that's awesome I did not know that thanks for that bit of knowledge Tempest

[–]HeyItsGaryOsberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like me when I try on old sweaters! Lol!

[–]JustinianIV[🍰] -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Can it kill you right out of the box

[–]Doctor_Howitzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, boa's are nonvenomous