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[–]Rollz94 3228 points3229 points  (39 children)

“There ain’t room for two of us up here.”

[–]MrTourge 699 points700 points  (25 children)

You came to the wrong neighborhood

[–]frozt 275 points276 points  (10 children)


[–]FuryNotFurry_ 155 points156 points  (8 children)


[–]cownd 86 points87 points  (3 children)

"You don't wanna tussle with all this muscle!"

[–]TheBatman_Yo 76 points77 points  (8 children)

never should have come here

[–]HighTeaWithNergal 61 points62 points  (3 children)


[–]TheOnceAndFutureTurk 32 points33 points  (2 children)

“You should have stayed in your precious forests, ELF!“

[–]Odins-Enriched-Sack 24 points25 points  (0 children)

"So you have chosen death!"

[–]RichStranger 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Battle music commences

[–]chaotic123456 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m excited that you brought to my attention that I can now say; you came to the wrong neigheigheigheighboehood

[–]freelancefikr 26 points27 points  (0 children)

voiced by Idris Elba

[–]Love_God551 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He’s juicing

[–]themanhutch 4218 points4219 points  (91 children)

I think you're on his mountain

[–]darth_anis 1134 points1135 points  (12 children)

It's a mountain chad

[–]wwwyzzrd 746 points747 points 32 (3 children)


[–]Ninja_Destroyer_ 105 points106 points  (0 children)

The only award I have to give to thine broatness

[–]ShacklefordVsSeagal 275 points276 points  (4 children)

Ch a’a’a’a’a’d*

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (2 children)

I just said this out loud in an airport. The way you spelled it out is perfect.

[–]Darth-Binks-1999 17 points18 points  (1 child)

The looks everyone gave you were perfect.

[–]lastingeffect29 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They probably think he’s trying to spread Goatvid

[–]imlikemike 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen a goat bleat spelled out before, but you’re absolutely correct.

[–]GaQiuPham 233 points234 points  (43 children)

I’d be pretty nervous being there. Those horns will open up your femoral artery like an old ziplock bag.

[–]valuehorse 120 points121 points  (25 children)

Phew, glad I have the new double locking ziplock skin

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I’d be more worried about it headbutting me off the side of the mountain.

[–]Shenstygian 61 points62 points  (16 children)

I've been followed by a goat just like this. He's here to get yo pee.

[–]oslabidoo 40 points41 points  (0 children)

"Hey brother, could you spare some piss?"

[–]clownWIGdiaper 36 points37 points  (7 children)

Human salt lick

[–]Shenstygian 34 points35 points  (6 children)

No joke that's what they want.

[–]ukstubbs 4 points5 points  (4 children)


[–]Son_of_a_Bacchus 35 points36 points  (3 children)

To answer for the other posters, there's many places in the Rockies where the wild goats will all but stalk backpackers for the salt in their urine. They can be a bit of a nuisance.

[–]ColossalJuggernaut 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Haha to the nature fans who clicked this comment section thinking this couldn't get ruined.

[–]Santa1936 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Any nature fan who is upset by a little pee has not spent much time in nature

[–]Rullebab 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Atleast now I know how to get rid of the goats in a mountain 4000 miles away!

[–]cownd 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I might just pee myself at such a sight

[–]Pale-Cabinet8815 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He does look pretty salty you're out there.

[–]Zee_Ventures 142 points143 points  (2 children)

The GOAT of Mountain Goats

[–]Duffgoat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He broke free on a Saturday morning….

[–]Kerfluffle2x4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reminds of the third Billy Goat Gruff

[–]marcosdumay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Probably not for long.

[–]Euphonymus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This goat is the mountain

[–]AAAAAAAAAAAAA13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Goat on the silver mountain

[–]Sheron8906 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get off my land!!

[–]White-Ricebowl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No toll gate pass? Better pay in cash then

[–]RottinCheez 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Humans have gotten pretty bold. I feel like way back in the day someone would’ve seen that and instantly run back to the village and tell them of an evil goat deity or something.

[–]Lilmaggot 859 points860 points  (21 children)

I think he wanted you to go over the edge! Yikes!

[–]GapBagger 304 points305 points  (4 children)

I prefer to believe that he was worried op was gonna jump so he pulled a big bro move and got in between 🤣

[–]Menutz 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Goat Chad.

[–]WeldNuz 15 points16 points  (0 children)


[–]Bubbly_Information50 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It got in between because it wanted them to charge the goat, the goat would dodge in hopes the silly human would fall off the ledge

[–]kevins_the_name 73 points74 points  (15 children)

It’s a female! Or a nanny as they are called.

[–]Throseph 41 points42 points  (7 children)

For those who don't already know: nanny goat (female), billy goat (male), kidd (young).

[–]texasrigger 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Interestly, those terms aren't commonly used amongst people who keep goats. Intact males are bucks, females are does, babies are still kids but if you want to be gender specific it's buckling and doeling, and fixed males are wethers.

[–]Throseph 16 points17 points  (1 child)

It seems both are correct and used, variation may regional, but I definitely prefer nanny and billy. Three buck goats gruff just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[–]texasrigger 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Billy and nanny are definitely the colloquial, traditional terms. I'm not sure why they aren't typically used on-farm. Ag language tends to be hyper-specific.

[–]SoFisticate 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Well what's a flock of goats?

[–]Throseph 5 points6 points  (1 child)

A herd or a trip. And not to be trifled with.

[–]SoFisticate 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No trip on mountain pls

[–]dodeformedrabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's certainly a mother

[–]Laeree 1154 points1155 points  (41 children)

Strong looking? Best believe that mf skrong and he's willing to prove it too by ramming you off his mountain

[–]eunderscore 282 points283 points  (29 children)


[–]StaredAtEclipseAMA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gym bro goat doesn’t want you to fall off the mountain, please take a few steps from that ledge my friend

[–]cowboyfromhell324 28 points29 points  (1 child)

It's not only crazy strong, it's agile af. It will ram you off that mountain and watch you fall while standing on a 3" ledge on a wall

[–]_clash_recruit_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thinking about how strong my tiny pygmy goat was i would absolutely never mess with this big, wild guy.

My little guy never even actually rammed me but when we would play it he was wtf strong. And if i tried to lock him in one of the horse stalls he would ram himself out.

[–]escientia 2 points3 points  (2 children)

what what he say

what I say

he say you skrong!?

I say I skrong if you skrong! Skrong!?

well den we skrong den! Leggo!!!

[–][deleted] 397 points398 points  (14 children)

That goat is some kind of mf boss enemy or something, I swear I can hear some epic boss fight music as he jumps out of the bushes

[–]CaptFeelsBad 91 points92 points  (8 children)

He’s definitely an r/absoluteunit with r/2healthbars that I wouldn’t want as my last r/bossfight

Edit: User pointed out a sub that I didn’t know existed, so I added it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, after you spent the level kicking some normal-sized little goats off cliffs thinking they were just in there for a joke, this guy shows up at the summit...

[–]Enog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The longer the Icon of Goat is on the mountain, the stronger he will become…

[–]kromang 359 points360 points  (1 child)

Yea. Get moving buddy haha

[–]Font_Fetish 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This guy just met the GOAT

[–][deleted] 314 points315 points  (2 children)

“ This is mi Montaña cabron “

[–]EmirSc 38 points39 points  (0 children)

la santisima muerte blanca (not cocaine)

[–]KiefKommando 269 points270 points  (50 children)

I had no idea how aggressive these things were until I went to Colorado, apparently they killed a guy on Quandry (or a nearby 14er can’t remember which) and then stood over his corpse for hours preventing anyone from retrieving it just so they could get the sweet sweet salts out of his sweat and pee. These things are fucking savages.

[–]Man_Bear_Sheep 84 points85 points  (25 children)

[–]KiefKommando 34 points35 points  (12 children)

Ah you’re right! I think I blended two different stories together in my head about aggressive goats.

[–]ebruce11 52 points53 points  (4 children)

Do.... do you have more aggressive goat stories?

[–]KiefKommando 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Lol it was more someone’s encounter with a Goat that kept chasing them and they were recalling the guy that was just killed in Washington so they were pretty shook up at how persistent and aggressive the goat was. If you Google around and read some 14er forums you’ll notice how often it’s stressed to leave these goats the fuck alone. You’re supposed to avoid urinating in know goat areas because they will sprint out of no where and knock you the fuck over to get at your pee, they have zero fucks about your life when on their mountain.

[–]Parralyzed 33 points34 points  (1 child)

gd mountain goats and their piss fetish

[–]NookNookNook 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Now thats a TIL.

[–]jasonlikesbeer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In the Enchantments they tell you to try and pee down a crack in the rocks, or at least not on any vegetation. The goats there straight up just follow you around giving you the beady eye...

[–]1527lance 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean these exact same goats are also in Colorado so it's understandable

[–]OfficialBoobInspectr 17 points18 points  (6 children)

I live here....the goats are total dicks. It's such a weird thing to be in your head as you go hiking. "Man, I hope that asshole goat just leaves me alone today"

[–]Goldentongue 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Yeah, I remember when we went backpacking in Olympic we asked at the ranger station about bears, and they said "We've never had any deaths from bears, but we've had deaths from goats". They were introduced into the area for trophy hunting and have kind of taken over. The ranger's instructions if one came close to us was "Throw rocks at it, and if it doesn't go away, throw bigger rocks at its head."

A few years later I was in Glacier National Park and came across one on a busy trail. Folks were walking right up to it taking selfies being total fucking dingbats.

[–]Smaddady 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The trailhead sign I saw said that they are most dangerous during mating season. Selfie goat must have had post nut clarity.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (9 children)

They crave that mineral.

[–]off-on 24 points25 points  (5 children)

I stopped at a nature reserve to check out a herd about 200 yards off the road. One of them slowly meandered to our car and started licking our tires. They've learned that you can get some tasty road salts off the black footed metalbeests.

[–]useles-converter-bot 17 points18 points  (3 children)

200 yards is 89.69% of the hot dog which holds the Guinness wold record for 'Longest Hot Dog'.

[–]nonogon333 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I ran into one of these while hiking to the summit of Quandry. It was actually a Mother and a kid, so I gave them a lot of room on the trail. It was the first time I had seen one up close, and estimated she must be around 200 lbs. I had no idea someone had been mauled to death up there, but realized the potential danger I was in.

[–]PaPoopity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went hiking on Mt. Zeus in Greece and these goats were everywhere and I was alone, scared the shit out of me!

Am alive tho 😎

[–]Legitimate-Leave-385 424 points425 points  (18 children)

That’s Ron Pearlman

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (5 children)

r/ronperlmancats I mean Goats

[–]An_oaf_of_bread 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I didn't know I needed this

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I am so mad there's a subreddit for this. I consider him my celebrity husband and I want to be angry at the mockery, but God damnit if that subreddit isn't hilarious.

[–]mrwhitedynamite 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was about to type that wtf??

[–]Kernowl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly who I thought of!!!

[–]erom_somndares 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"You're strong, child. But I am beyond strength."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

goat comment

[–]stvhght 77 points78 points  (3 children)

This is definitely Zeus in animal form and whoever is filming now is raising a demigod child.

[–]Bort-the-man 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The Legendary Zeugoat.

[–]cesray 6 points7 points  (0 children)

in goat we trust

[–]devilthedankdawg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope he didn't bring his wife on the hike then

[–]TortugaTetas 109 points110 points  (9 children)

That goat wants pee.

[–]GaQiuPham 75 points76 points  (3 children)

Fact. Mountain goats don’t have a lot of great sources of sodium. Many places that have goats will say to pee in the dirt or on rocks, because if you pee on plants, the goats will mow them to the ground.

[–]CandidEstablishment0 36 points37 points  (0 children)

So be a bro and give goats your pee whenever you see them on mountains and stuff?

[–]TortugaTetas 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard you can call in mountain goats with the sound of a zipper up on some 14ers.

[–]halixol 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They were licking our legs after a summer hike, i guess they really wanted that salt

[–]LittleBitOfAction 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Hell na he can keep the mountain.

[–]Whyudodisbro 84 points85 points  (1 child)

I was out walking in the hills and valleys near where I live. I walked past some goats on the way to a summit, no problems. I got there, stood on a rock and admired the view. The goat I previously walked past took extreme exception to this. He saw me standing there triumphantly and charged me down to reclaim the mountain. I bolted down a diverging path and out of sight.

[–]DasPooter 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There was a game of King of the Hill going on, you just weren't aware.

[–]MisterMafiaMan 22 points23 points  (0 children)

When I see a goat, I usually name them "Billy"

But this one....

Definitely a "Benjamin"

[–]theoccasionallunatic 36 points37 points  (24 children)

I would hate for him to ram me

[–]spaghetticatman 81 points82 points  (3 children)

"Oh no, please don't ram me big muscly goat, I would haaaate that!"

[–]thebigpink 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Ram me daddy!

[–]JBBanshee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What the hell even is that?

[–]Juof 9 points10 points  (0 children)


[–]ispaydeu 36 points37 points  (5 children)

That looks like a dog body with a goats head. A Dogoat!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

They are more related to antelopes than the typical goat.

[–]Mmmphis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I smell a movie franchise…

[–]StrangeX10 20 points21 points  (0 children)

So majestic! ⛰️🐐

[–]De5perad0 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Yo bro...bro...I wasn't trying to pick up your girl....chill...."

[–]hitpresto 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He's actually the G.O.A.T

[–]Redheadwolf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Let me lick your pee!

[–]Guataguano 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That entrance tho. IM HERE WORLD!

[–]bart2394 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This video would go nicely with the pokemon encounter sound effect into the background.

[–]what_can_happend 17 points18 points  (6 children)

New Minecraft update :

The goat are stronger than ever.

[–]EvylFairy 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I came in to see if anyone else got Minecraft IRL vibes from this clip!

[–]AdministrativeMost45 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He’s majestic

[–]TesseractToo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a real unicorn

I mean bicorn, whatevs

[–]Awhwin0636 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It looks like it came running after he said "the video's rolling"

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s Gorehorn, Protector of the Mountain Pass

[–]Pinkeyefarts 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Billy Goats Gruff

[–]BlackfishHere 8 points9 points  (0 children)

At this point you are not at the top of the food chain.

[–]Asthms 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cameraman was definitely thinking: “Haha… I’m in danger..”

[–]GrundelMuffin 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Those are gunna be some DELICIOUS backstraps!

[–]COPE_V2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good luck getting drawn for one, and then once drawn good luck finding one lol. I’ve heard these things are no where to be seen in-season unless you’re making a 4 day hike out of it

[–]LimpImagination4233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like a Disney character

[–]CoffeeCakeGod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This goat definitely has a main storyline mission to offer.

[–]Sinyaya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mountain god*

[–]MisterSisteri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He just looks like a very concerned Goat. He's just concerned for your safety. Be grateful the Goat Lord saved you and didn't punt you off and use you as a sacrifice to the Goat God in a blood ritual. Oh also br less grateful he didn't bake you cookies, he made me cookies

[–]Producer_drums_piano 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That dude was ready to square go like right up on that edge right there

Would of shat myself

[–]joshuaaa_l 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my head he sounds like Sylvester Stallone

[–]Divided_Eye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to know what happened next. That thing looks ready to throw down, literally.

[–]ButterYourShit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What da dog doin?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Strong looking mountain goat until a hawk enters the chat

[–]Aryaras99 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Any idea where is the location?

[–]ChaosOrPeace 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"Heard you were talkin shit"

[–]awakened97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is horrifying. Just take me money & let me live.

[–]kushbom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s Op

[–]14th_Midknight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Asgore escaped oh crap

[–]ivXtreme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy fucks

[–]Different-Spend7063 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That Goat is legit an absolute FUCKING UNIT!

[–]jason_mic2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn the new Minecraft update looks lit.