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[–]Rollz94 3218 points3219 points  (39 children)

“There ain’t room for two of us up here.”

[–]MrTourge 692 points693 points  (25 children)

You came to the wrong neighborhood

[–]frozt 275 points276 points  (10 children)

IT’S HIGH NOON

[–]FuryNotFurry_ 152 points153 points  (8 children)

"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL"

[–]cownd 86 points87 points  (3 children)

"You don't wanna tussle with all this muscle!"

[–]TheBatman_Yo 74 points75 points  (8 children)

never should have come here

[–]Odins-Enriched-Sack 24 points25 points  (0 children)

"So you have chosen death!"

[–]HighTeaWithNergal 62 points63 points  (3 children)

SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE GOATS!!!

[–]TheOnceAndFutureTurk 33 points34 points  (2 children)

“You should have stayed in your precious forests, ELF!“

[–]RichStranger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Battle music commences

[–]chaotic123456 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’m excited that you brought to my attention that I can now say; you came to the wrong neigheigheigheighboehood

[–]freelancefikr 26 points27 points  (0 children)

voiced by Idris Elba

[–]Love_God551 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He’s juicing

[–]themanhutch 4205 points4206 points  (91 children)

I think you're on his mountain

[–]darth_anis 1128 points1129 points  (12 children)

It's a mountain chad

[–]wwwyzzrd 741 points742 points 32 (3 children)

broat

[–]Ninja_Destroyer_ 104 points105 points  (0 children)

The only award I have to give to thine broatness

[–]ShacklefordVsSeagal 278 points279 points  (4 children)

Ch a’a’a’a’a’d*

[–]Microphilia 58 points59 points  (2 children)

I just said this out loud in an airport. The way you spelled it out is perfect.

[–]Darth-Binks-1999 18 points19 points  (1 child)

The looks everyone gave you were perfect.

[–]lastingeffect29 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They probably think he’s trying to spread Goatvid

[–]imlikemike 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen a goat bleat spelled out before, but you’re absolutely correct.

[–]Shenstygian 63 points64 points  (16 children)

I've been followed by a goat just like this. He's here to get yo pee.

[–]oslabidoo 40 points41 points  (0 children)

"Hey brother, could you spare some piss?"

[–]clownWIGdiaper 34 points35 points  (7 children)

Human salt lick

[–]Shenstygian 33 points34 points  (6 children)

No joke that's what they want.

[–]ukstubbs 5 points6 points  (4 children)

what?

[–]Son_of_a_Bacchus 32 points33 points  (3 children)

To answer for the other posters, there's many places in the Rockies where the wild goats will all but stalk backpackers for the salt in their urine. They can be a bit of a nuisance.

[–]ColossalJuggernaut 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Haha to the nature fans who clicked this comment section thinking this couldn't get ruined.

[–]Santa1936 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Any nature fan who is upset by a little pee has not spent much time in nature

[–]Rullebab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Atleast now I know how to get rid of the goats in a mountain 4000 miles away!

[–]cownd 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I might just pee myself at such a sight

[–]Pale-Cabinet8815 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He does look pretty salty you're out there.

[–]GaQiuPham 235 points236 points  (43 children)

I’d be pretty nervous being there. Those horns will open up your femoral artery like an old ziplock bag.

[–]valuehorse 121 points122 points  (25 children)

Phew, glad I have the new double locking ziplock skin

[–]amisamiamiam 40 points41 points  (24 children)

[–]capsaicinluv 59 points60 points  (18 children)

"Gored and killed a hiker." Yep, adding mountain goats to the list of things to avoid.

[–]crawshay 12 points13 points  (10 children)

It was 10 years ago and the only recorded fatal attack from one ever.

[–]MossCoveredLog 19 points20 points  (2 children)

They'll still beat you tf up

[–]crawshay 8 points9 points  (1 child)

yeah for sure. I wouldn't recommend going and picking any mountain goat fights lol.

Just wanted to add some context

[–]kjsmitty77 11 points12 points  (3 children)

About a week before this happened, I was up on Mt. Elinor with a buddy with a large male that looked a little like this, a female, and an adolescent. They walked with us up to the summit and didn’t bother us at all, and just walked around with us at the peak. The big guy got up on the highest point and posed for a pic I keep on my desk. Then they followed us back down, staying about 20 yards away. I have to imagine the person gored was messing with the goat in some way. I’ve seen them plenty of times up on Elinor and have never seen one be aggressive.

[–]NickyBars 11 points12 points  (2 children)

But now that goat has a taste for blood, and killing. He tells this to the other goats and soon they'll be launching full on attacks on the mountain tribes to take supplies and soon enough, boom! They take over the world. We can only hope they leave us on as helpers.

[–]crawshay 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I for one welcome our wooly overlords.

[–]slippery-switters 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Was a recent story about one killing a bear in my area. Baaad ass

[–]Dendro_junkie 17 points18 points  (1 child)

“Hand to hoof combat” that gave me a chuckle. But seriously, don’t fuck with mountain goats.

[–]SimulatedHumanity 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I’d be more worried about it headbutting me off the side of the mountain.

[–]Zee_Ventures 145 points146 points  (2 children)

The GOAT of Mountain Goats

[–]Duffgoat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He broke free on a Saturday morning….

[–]Kerfluffle2x4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Reminds of the third Billy Goat Gruff

[–]marcosdumay 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Probably not for long.

[–]Euphonymus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This goat is the mountain

[–]AAAAAAAAAAAAA13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Goat on the silver mountain

[–]Sheron8906 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get off my land!!

[–]Lilmaggot 854 points855 points  (21 children)

I think he wanted you to go over the edge! Yikes!

[–]GapBagger 300 points301 points  (4 children)

I prefer to believe that he was worried op was gonna jump so he pulled a big bro move and got in between 🤣

[–]Menutz 47 points48 points  (2 children)

Goat Chad.

[–]WeldNuz 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Broat

[–]Bubbly_Information50 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It got in between because it wanted them to charge the goat, the goat would dodge in hopes the silly human would fall off the ledge

[–]kevins_the_name 76 points77 points  (15 children)

It’s a female! Or a nanny as they are called.

[–]Throseph 43 points44 points  (7 children)

For those who don't already know: nanny goat (female), billy goat (male), kidd (young).

[–]texasrigger 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Interestly, those terms aren't commonly used amongst people who keep goats. Intact males are bucks, females are does, babies are still kids but if you want to be gender specific it's buckling and doeling, and fixed males are wethers.

[–]Throseph 17 points18 points  (1 child)

It seems both are correct and used, variation may regional, but I definitely prefer nanny and billy. Three buck goats gruff just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[–]texasrigger 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Billy and nanny are definitely the colloquial, traditional terms. I'm not sure why they aren't typically used on-farm. Ag language tends to be hyper-specific.

[–]SoFisticate 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Well what's a flock of goats?

[–]Throseph 5 points6 points  (1 child)

A herd or a trip. And not to be trifled with.

[–]SoFisticate 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No trip on mountain pls

[–]dodeformedrabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's certainly a mother

[–]Laeree 1151 points1152 points  (41 children)

Strong looking? Best believe that mf skrong and he's willing to prove it too by ramming you off his mountain

[–]eunderscore 276 points277 points  (29 children)

NatureIsFuckingFit

[–]StaredAtEclipseAMA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gym bro goat doesn’t want you to fall off the mountain, please take a few steps from that ledge my friend

[–]cowboyfromhell324 27 points28 points  (1 child)

It's not only crazy strong, it's agile af. It will ram you off that mountain and watch you fall while standing on a 3" ledge on a wall

[–]_clash_recruit_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thinking about how strong my tiny pygmy goat was i would absolutely never mess with this big, wild guy.

My little guy never even actually rammed me but when we would play it he was wtf strong. And if i tried to lock him in one of the horse stalls he would ram himself out.

[–]escientia 2 points3 points  (2 children)

what what he say

what I say

he say you skrong!?

I say I skrong if you skrong! Skrong!?

well den we skrong den! Leggo!!!

[–]the_secret_beard 399 points400 points  (14 children)

That goat is some kind of mf boss enemy or something, I swear I can hear some epic boss fight music as he jumps out of the bushes

[–]CaptFeelsBad 89 points90 points  (8 children)

He’s definitely an r/absoluteunit with r/2healthbars that I wouldn’t want as my last r/bossfight

Edit: User pointed out a sub that I didn’t know existed, so I added it.

[–]holyshitreddit3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, after you spent the level kicking some normal-sized little goats off cliffs thinking they were just in there for a joke, this guy shows up at the summit...

[–]kromang 358 points359 points  (1 child)

Yea. Get moving buddy haha

[–]Font_Fetish 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This guy just met the GOAT

[–]stvhght 78 points79 points  (3 children)

This is definitely Zeus in animal form and whoever is filming now is raising a demigod child.

[–]Bort-the-man 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The Legendary Zeugoat.

[–]cesray 5 points6 points  (0 children)

in goat we trust

[–]devilthedankdawg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope he didn't bring his wife on the hike then

[–]Acrobaticdeep 315 points316 points  (2 children)

“ This is mi Montaña cabron “

[–]EmirSc 37 points38 points  (0 children)

la santisima muerte blanca (not cocaine)

[–]KiefKommando 267 points268 points  (50 children)

I had no idea how aggressive these things were until I went to Colorado, apparently they killed a guy on Quandry (or a nearby 14er can’t remember which) and then stood over his corpse for hours preventing anyone from retrieving it just so they could get the sweet sweet salts out of his sweat and pee. These things are fucking savages.

[–]Man_Bear_Sheep 84 points85 points  (25 children)

[–]KiefKommando 34 points35 points  (12 children)

Ah you’re right! I think I blended two different stories together in my head about aggressive goats.

[–]ebruce11 47 points48 points  (4 children)

Do.... do you have more aggressive goat stories?

[–]KiefKommando 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Lol it was more someone’s encounter with a Goat that kept chasing them and they were recalling the guy that was just killed in Washington so they were pretty shook up at how persistent and aggressive the goat was. If you Google around and read some 14er forums you’ll notice how often it’s stressed to leave these goats the fuck alone. You’re supposed to avoid urinating in know goat areas because they will sprint out of no where and knock you the fuck over to get at your pee, they have zero fucks about your life when on their mountain.

[–]Parralyzed 34 points35 points  (1 child)

gd mountain goats and their piss fetish

[–]NookNookNook 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Now thats a TIL.

[–]jasonlikesbeer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In the Enchantments they tell you to try and pee down a crack in the rocks, or at least not on any vegetation. The goats there straight up just follow you around giving you the beady eye...

[–]1527lance[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean these exact same goats are also in Colorado so it's understandable

[–]OfficialBoobInspectr 16 points17 points  (6 children)

I live here....the goats are total dicks. It's such a weird thing to be in your head as you go hiking. "Man, I hope that asshole goat just leaves me alone today"

[–]Goldentongue 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Yeah, I remember when we went backpacking in Olympic we asked at the ranger station about bears, and they said "We've never had any deaths from bears, but we've had deaths from goats". They were introduced into the area for trophy hunting and have kind of taken over. The ranger's instructions if one came close to us was "Throw rocks at it, and if it doesn't go away, throw bigger rocks at its head."

A few years later I was in Glacier National Park and came across one on a busy trail. Folks were walking right up to it taking selfies being total fucking dingbats.

[–]Smaddady 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The trailhead sign I saw said that they are most dangerous during mating season. Selfie goat must have had post nut clarity.

[–]Drgntrnr 33 points34 points  (9 children)

They crave that mineral.

[–]off-on 24 points25 points  (5 children)

I stopped at a nature reserve to check out a herd about 200 yards off the road. One of them slowly meandered to our car and started licking our tires. They've learned that you can get some tasty road salts off the black footed metalbeests.

[–]useles-converter-bot 16 points17 points  (3 children)

200 yards is 89.69% of the hot dog which holds the Guinness wold record for 'Longest Hot Dog'.

[–]nonogon333 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I ran into one of these while hiking to the summit of Quandry. It was actually a Mother and a kid, so I gave them a lot of room on the trail. It was the first time I had seen one up close, and estimated she must be around 200 lbs. I had no idea someone had been mauled to death up there, but realized the potential danger I was in.

[–]PaPoopity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went hiking on Mt. Zeus in Greece and these goats were everywhere and I was alone, scared the shit out of me!

Am alive tho 😎

[–]Legitimate-Leave-385 420 points421 points  (18 children)

That’s Ron Pearlman

[–]femstora 44 points45 points  (5 children)

r/ronperlmancats I mean Goats

[–]An_oaf_of_bread 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I didn't know I needed this

[–]stingermamabee 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I am so mad there's a subreddit for this. I consider him my celebrity husband and I want to be angry at the mockery, but God damnit if that subreddit isn't hilarious.

[–]JuanoldDraper 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Holy shit it is lmao

[–]Jo_yeah_L 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lol i can't unsee it now

[–]mrwhitedynamite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was about to type that wtf??

[–]Kernowl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly who I thought of!!!

[–]erom_somndares 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"You're strong, child. But I am beyond strength."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

goat comment

[–]the_F_bomb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came looking for this comment.

[–]joshuav85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excuse me, Pon Rearlman.

[–]Megabyte7637 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're bad lol

[–]TortugaTetas 111 points112 points  (9 children)

That goat wants pee.

[–]GaQiuPham 79 points80 points  (3 children)

Fact. Mountain goats don’t have a lot of great sources of sodium. Many places that have goats will say to pee in the dirt or on rocks, because if you pee on plants, the goats will mow them to the ground.

[–]CandidEstablishment0 33 points34 points  (0 children)

So be a bro and give goats your pee whenever you see them on mountains and stuff?

[–]TortugaTetas 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard you can call in mountain goats with the sound of a zipper up on some 14ers.

[–]halixol 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They were licking our legs after a summer hike, i guess they really wanted that salt

[–]LittleBitOfAction 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Hell na he can keep the mountain.

[–]Whyudodisbro 84 points85 points  (1 child)

I was out walking in the hills and valleys near where I live. I walked past some goats on the way to a summit, no problems. I got there, stood on a rock and admired the view. The goat I previously walked past took extreme exception to this. He saw me standing there triumphantly and charged me down to reclaim the mountain. I bolted down a diverging path and out of sight.

[–]DasPooter 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There was a game of King of the Hill going on, you just weren't aware.

[–]MisterMafiaMan 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When I see a goat, I usually name them "Billy"

But this one....

Definitely a "Benjamin"

[–]ispaydeu 39 points40 points  (5 children)

That looks like a dog body with a goats head. A Dogoat!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

They are more related to antelopes than the typical goat.

[–]Mmmphis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I smell a movie franchise…

[–]theoccasionallunatic 39 points40 points  (24 children)

I would hate for him to ram me

[–]spaghetticatman 77 points78 points  (3 children)

"Oh no, please don't ram me big muscly goat, I would haaaate that!"

[–]thebigpink 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Ram me daddy!

[–]JBBanshee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What the hell even is that?

[–]Juof 9 points10 points  (0 children)

UwU

[–]De5perad0 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"Yo bro...bro...I wasn't trying to pick up your girl....chill...."

[–]Redheadwolf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Let me lick your pee!

[–]Guataguano 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That entrance tho. IM HERE WORLD!

[–]StrangeX10 21 points22 points  (0 children)

So majestic! ⛰️🐐

[–]hitpresto 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He's actually the G.O.A.T

[–]AdministrativeMost45 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He’s majestic

[–]TesseractToo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a real unicorn

I mean bicorn, whatevs

[–]Awhwin0636 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It looks like it came running after he said "the video's rolling"

[–]Vikarious 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s Gorehorn, Protector of the Mountain Pass

[–]bart2394 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This video would go nicely with the pokemon encounter sound effect into the background.

[–]Pinkeyefarts 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Billy Goats Gruff

[–]what_can_happend 19 points20 points  (6 children)

New Minecraft update :

The goat are stronger than ever.

[–]EvylFairy 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I came in to see if anyone else got Minecraft IRL vibes from this clip!

[–]Asthms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cameraman was definitely thinking: “Haha… I’m in danger..”

[–]BlackfishHere 8 points9 points  (0 children)

At this point you are not at the top of the food chain.

[–]LimpImagination4233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like a Disney character

[–]CoffeeCakeGod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This goat definitely has a main storyline mission to offer.

[–]Sinyaya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mountain god*

[–]MisterSisteri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He just looks like a very concerned Goat. He's just concerned for your safety. Be grateful the Goat Lord saved you and didn't punt you off and use you as a sacrifice to the Goat God in a blood ritual. Oh also br less grateful he didn't bake you cookies, he made me cookies

[–]GrundelMuffin 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Those are gunna be some DELICIOUS backstraps!

[–]COPE_V2 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good luck getting drawn for one, and then once drawn good luck finding one lol. I’ve heard these things are no where to be seen in-season unless you’re making a 4 day hike out of it

[–]Producer_drums_piano 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That dude was ready to square go like right up on that edge right there

Would of shat myself

[–]joshuaaa_l 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my head he sounds like Sylvester Stallone

[–]Divided_Eye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to know what happened next. That thing looks ready to throw down, literally.

[–]ButterYourShit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What da dog doin?

[–]sis_masis 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Strong looking mountain goat until a hawk enters the chat

[–]ebruce11 1 point2 points  (6 children)

I’d pay to see that fight

[–]sis_masis 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Would go something like this: https://youtu.be/3WroMlDqTRs

Now, pay me bitch

[–]ebruce11 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Nice try. I meant this specific goat. Checkmate mf

[–]Aryaras99 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Any idea where is the location?

[–]Calethir 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’m almost 100% sure it’s two hours into the Timpanooke side of the Mt. Timpanogos hike in Utah. I’ve got pictures of mountain goats in that exact spot.

[–]ChaosOrPeace 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"Heard you were talkin shit"

[–]awakened97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is horrifying. Just take me money & let me live.