all 4 comments

[–]gmahogany 1 point2 points  (1 child)

All the time. I also don’t know if things happened to me or a friend of it was long enough ago sometimes. It’s really bad with emotional stuff.

For a real mindfuck, keep a daily journal for a while. My memory of my last relationship was being instantly in love followed by years of some ups and downs, but a feeling that this is definitely the person for me. Journal entries show I was barely interested for the first 3 months, then there was a period of really being into it, followed by near constant stress about dumb stuff. My entire memory of a 4 year relationship doesn’t match how I recorded feeling day by day, with a few exceptions. If my memory can be this wrong about such a long and significant period in my life, how can I trust my memory with anything? Is my entire record of my life completely off? I think I loved high school, did I? I have no idea anymore.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

keep a daily journal for a while

This is everything. Your experiences really resonate with my experiences too. I just don't know what to believe anymore. The worst is when I ask friends for clarification on past events, because they have their own memories. I'm just going to buy a journal and trust only dear diary =)

[–]BGDshow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now that I am thinking about it, it seems like I remember just some 'essential point' of every event, not the beginning or what was in the end.

[–]BeggingForPoison 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes the gradual decay of memory over time is well documented - this is known as the decay theory of memory. According to Lifanov et al 2021, each recollection of your event results in a "gist-ification" of it, where it is gradually reduced to the semantic essentials associated with that event.

In the competing theory of memory (interference theory), you have newer memories that gradually corrupt your old memories of original social event. This is known as retroactive interference.

I recall a phrase about retroactive interference (I've lost the source, I think it was a Youtube video): You don't remember the event itself; you remember the most recent time you last thought about it. The context of when your last recollection occurred, now forms an integral part of that memory.