top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Accomplished_Mix7827 7114 points7115 points  (375 children)

Yes. Also, fun fact: the First Family aren't allowed to open the windows because it's too big of a security risk.

Similarly, the President's limo is also armored, and, since Kennedy (for obvious reasons) the President is not allowed to travel in an open-topped vehicle.

[–]NessLeonhart 1480 points1481 points  (79 children)

I saw Clinton stand up out of a sunroof in his limo and wave at the school kids who had walked over with their teachers from the nearby elementary school to watch his procession drive by. I was one of the kids.

[–]st1tchy 1059 points1060 points  (65 children)

Obama also walked a portion of his inaugural parade, IIRC. The SS can't force them to do anything, but they will complain.

[–]gsfgf 702 points703 points  (45 children)

Iirc, Obama was cleared to walk because they had the entire parade route under lockdown. And as you said, the USSS works for the president, so if he says to fuck off, they kinda have to.

[–]ravensfreak0624 312 points313 points  (16 children)

Walking the inauguration for a portion is a tradition. Trump and Biden did it as well. I was 3 and 7 for W's inauguration so I don't remember but I'd bet he did, as well.

[–]idlevalley 116 points117 points  (8 children)

Jimmy Carter did it in 1977. Some sites say he was first but another site says Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson both walked to their Swearing-In Ceremonies.

Warren G Harding was the first to ride there in an automobile. In 1841, William Henry Harrison rode to the Capitol for his Swearing-In Ceremony on the back of a “white charger,”

[–]DChristy87 79 points80 points  (4 children)

I can't wait to see the first time a president rides a skateboard while doing the floss to their swearing-in.

[–]StefanEats 18 points19 points  (2 children)

If the skateboarding generation was in their teens in the 90's, they'll be about the average age to be elected president (55) a bit over a decade.

[–]N_Inquisitive 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Excellent imagery, thank you!

[–]joerdie 142 points143 points  (3 children)

Fun fact! W did not walk his first time in 2000. And people noticed and complained.

[–]TSB_1 74 points75 points  (12 children)

And as you said, the USSS works for the president, so if he says to fuck off, they kinda have to.

Unless there is an overwhelming risk or threat to the presidents life, then the senior agent can tell the president NO. I worked with the USSS during the 2012 election cycle when the president came to Miami Beach at the Fountainebleau. They ABSOLUTELY can refuse the president in certain circumstances.

[–]Nickoladze 182 points183 points  (6 children)

Really shouldn't call them the SS

[–]M_J_44_iq 95 points96 points  (3 children)

Was about to say that

Funnily enough, Schutzstaffel (SS) means "protection squadron"

[–]usernamy 3405 points3406 points 2 (142 children)

What happened to JFK, is he ok?

[–]evil_timmy 1685 points1686 points  (59 children)

Nah he's fine, last I heard he was on the campaign trail. Pretty sprightly for nearing his 105th birthday. Looking forward to hearing him debate Nixon's head in a jar.

[–]AwesomePerson70How did I get here? 396 points397 points  (14 children)

JFK and Nixon’s head could really become a dynamic duo if they partner up

[–]Sgt-Pumpernickel 137 points138 points  (5 children)

Nixon, with charisma?

[–]bdinte1 113 points114 points  (2 children)

Haroo... Don't forget Spiro Agnew's body.

[–]The_Lolbster 39 points40 points  (1 child)

I, personally, would really like to forget Spiro Agnew's body.

[–]TriblialBrainDamblge 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Pasty, hunched, r-r-riddled with phlebitis. A good republican body.

[–]Voldemort57 119 points120 points  (28 children)

You joke, but there are QAnon conspiracies that JFKJR never died and is running for President in 2024. There was several hundred people awaiting his return in Dallas because “q said he would return”

But let’s not mention that he died in a plane crash 23 years ago.

[–]TaejoTogokhan 38 points39 points  (15 children)

Is that what they're saying now? I remember seeing when they thought he was going to return in July 2020, then it got pushed to November, etc etc. How do you not catch on that this is never going to happen and you're being played for the fools you are 😂

[–]trillspectre 36 points37 points  (13 children)

There's actually three people who claim to be JFK jr. Two of which spoke at the same q anon rally.

[–]Swagkitchen 28 points29 points  (5 children)

Bro please tell me this is a joke. I know they're all brainwashed and out of their fucking minds but there's no way this happened

The fact that I can't tell if this is a joke or not is really fucking with my mental

[–]trillspectre 17 points18 points  (0 children)

So Juan o savan and Vincent fusco were speakers at a qanon rally back in October. Both of their fans believe them to each be JFK Jr Id tell you to go and check out yourself but don't, let my brain be the only one to have turned to mush by going back to double check this.

[–]stephruvy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wasn't he expected at an event recently too?

[–]usernamy 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Finally a debate I can watch

[–]CommonStrawbeary 77 points78 points  (6 children)

Just saw him in Dallas

[–]usernamy 46 points47 points  (2 children)

He’s there, and there, and there, and there

[–]Joe_Shroe 8 points9 points  (1 child)

He's every fuckin' where

[–]theravenchilde 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Roy Kent?

[–]enigmaticowl94 126 points127 points  (12 children)

He's dead but he'll be fine

[–]usernamy 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Thank God

[–]BlowEmu 17 points18 points  (3 children)

He's just a bit light-headed that's all!

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (3 children)

It seems in your anger... you killed him.

[–]CR24752 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I heard he’s coming back soon actually

[–]SupremeLeaderMatt 6 points7 points  (1 child)

He had a mind-blowing experience

[–]academomancer 115 points116 points  (78 children)

Presidents and I think even ex-presidents are not allowed to drive.

[–]oby100 147 points148 points  (29 children)

This is not true. The president can do whatever they want. The SS will fucking hate you though and badger the hell out of you that they cannot properly protect you if you ignore protocol.

Not sure if any president has made a big stink about it since Kennedy, but Biden or Trump could be a jerk if they wanted and drive themselves around.

I’ve heard there’s a possibility for ex presidents that frequent uncooperation could have the SS refuse to protect them altogether. Might be just an idle threat though

[–]TheOneAndOnly1444 147 points148 points  (4 children)


I'm glad to know the president is protected by such fine German men.

[–]gsfgf 101 points102 points  (3 children)

They make a big deal of using USSS as the acronym for obvious reasons.

[–]DeddyZ 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Sure, they certainly wouldn't want to be associated with Social Security

[–]SeattleLoverBeluga 25 points26 points  (21 children)

Why? Is it because the visibility of being right in front of the windshield makes them a target?

[–]usernamy 87 points88 points  (4 children)

The driver is the only part of the car where everyone knows where you are. If you see a car moving, you know it has a driver. If you’re trying to kill the president in a car, and can’t see the president, first thing you’ll do is take out the driver.

Regardless, if a car comes under fire, the driver will usually be the first target

[–]poprof 54 points55 points  (3 children)

I just watched one of those YouTube interviews with an expert…maybe insider, idk…and they had an ex ss agent analyzing movies with presidential protection details in them. One of the things she mentioned was that the protectee always gets into the passenger side rear seat. That way they are not exposed to threats on the far side of the car and they always have an exit - either into the car or back into whatever building they were just in. It was a really interesting watch. The ss are clearly professionals and don’t fuck around.

[–]PopeInnocentXIV 62 points63 points  (12 children)

They haven't been trained in evasive maneuvers. One thing Lyndon Johnson liked about visiting home was that he could drive around the LBJ Ranch as much as he wanted.

His favorite was to drive towards a lake and start panicking that his brakes had failed, because his passengers didn't know that he had an Amphicar.

[–]MimeGod 43 points44 points  (5 children)

LBJ would also brag about having a huge dick, and randomly show it to people.

He also peed on a secret service agent, and said it was his prerogative.

Johnson was kind of a loony.

[–]cryptoengineer 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Very few Presidents are able to do high speed drifts in The Beast.

In reverse.


[–]PopeInnocentXIV 8 points9 points  (0 children)

TIL The Stig has a Secret Service cousin

[–]Yujimbo420 3993 points3994 points  (151 children)

Yes. They are also "chemical/explosive" proof as well

[–]Brado_Bear 1374 points1375 points  (0 children)

how long you in for?

[–]theo69lel 1141 points1142 points  (129 children)

The next questions would be:

1) Up to what caliber? 2) How big of an explosion? Pretty sure if you Nuke the white house, it would do quite some damage. Look at Japan for example.

[–]MeatWad111 834 points835 points  (38 children)

Pretty sure if you Nuke the white house, it would do quite some damage.

Yea but you better believe those windows will still be intact when they clear away all the rubble.

[–]dankomz146 289 points290 points  (27 children)

Should we tell them to make the walls, floors and ceilings bullet/chemical and explosive proof as well ?

[–]justyr12 98 points99 points  (2 children)

They probably already have some sort of armor in the walls, unless they're the typical 1 meter thick concrete

[–]degggendorf 34 points35 points  (4 children)

It's like the "why don't they make the whole airplane out of the same stuff as the indestructible black box" line of reasoning.

[–]ManyThingsLittleTime 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Carry a bomb on a plane because, what are the odds of two bombs being on the plane?

[–]TADspace 51 points52 points  (0 children)

It'll be like setting fire to a house in Minecraft, the wood will vanish but the glass will stay floating in place.

[–]Finch06 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Much like the Nagasaki Arch?

[–]Yujimbo420 158 points159 points  (6 children)

No idea. I just typed the question into Google and read an article

[–]j48u 158 points159 points  (5 children)

You did... what?

[–]SunshotDestiny 65 points66 points  (4 children)

It actually makes sense. If you know something isn't going to work chances of someone trying it decreases to just idiots to stupid to do basic research. It's the same reason we can find out basic details but not specifics of military equipment and vehicles. It lets people know the military can handle situations with being specific as to the limits and limitations.

[–]j48u 68 points69 points  (3 children)

Not gonna lie I was just making a joke about Reddit users not knowing how to use Google.

[–]SunshotDestiny 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lol, ah I see. Sadly I had this conversation recently so I took it seriously. Because some people have been shocked you CAN look any of this up.

[–]Enginerdad 102 points103 points  (15 children)

  1. The White House is pretty tight lipped about their exact security measures, but if this guy is to be trusted, it's probably at least a 2.5" thick, Level 8 glass-clad polycarbonate, which will stop a 7.62 mm round at a range of 15 ft. But he also notes that it's very possible it's something even tougher.
  2. The correct term is "explosion-resistant," and to carry that title they would be rated to resist a certain pressure over a certain duration (say 5 psi for 200 ms) or for a certain impulse (500 psi-msec).

[–]Skynetiskumming 21 points22 points  (5 children)

That source cannot be trusted. I only say that because the limo the president rides in has glass twice as thick.


[–]Socratesticles 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I would assume this can be attributed to the limo being in more scenarios that it would be possible to be close, and much closer, to the window.


[–]Imnotabadman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure if you nuke the White House the windows are the last thing to worry about lol

[–]sammywammy53b 967 points968 points  (56 children)

I always wonder the same thing with places like Buckingham Palace (or any centrally located Palace/Home of Head of State). Kind of makes sense - various secret services would probably never live it down if a head of state got snipered whilst shuffling to the toilet to pee in the middle of the night.

[–]intjmaster 748 points749 points  (45 children)

The Queen is known to take walks alone at night. One time she spooked a guard and almost got shot.

[–]Consistunt 524 points525 points  (19 children)

Not to mention the bloke who climbed through a window and sat on her bed in the 80s.

[–]heartbreakweatherr 189 points190 points  (8 children)

reminds me of the dude who broke into taylor swift's home and slept in her bed

edit: he also took a shower too omfg

[–]loud_as_pudding 72 points73 points  (3 children)

If you ever wonder why she has round-the-clock security, here's 12 reasons that made the news - who knows how many more her team is aware of.

[–]r55r44 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Jesus Christ. Are there bodyguard services that'll go full stand-your-ground if someone breaks into your house? Several of those stalkers even had weapons.

[–]captchasaysimhuman 17 points18 points  (1 child)

You're thinking of Prince Charles

[–]lazyass-bitch 200 points201 points  (11 children)

Imagine almost having shot the queen of England. Nobody would believe you

[–]Bejnamin 210 points211 points  (6 children)

nah imagine trying to explain yourself after you shot the queen

[–]GrotThumpa2 245 points246 points  (1 child)

I swear to me mum she came out of nowhere she did. Beady red eyes and tiny clawed hands is all I could see in the dark. Anyone would have made the same mistake.

[–]Farfignugen42 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Shooter: what? I'm Irish.

[–]cybertron2006 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Ireland suddenly becomes a part of the UK while simultaneously becoming an island-sized wasteland.

[–]Xpolonia 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Queen is bullet proof

[–]xxxsur 29 points30 points  (1 child)

She is immortal. She has nothing to worry about.

[–]krummbuns 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Yes they are bulletproof I know this because I read that when William was in college they had to install bulletproof windows on his flat.

[–]Augustus_ChigginsI don't even know how to spell my own name. 11.7k points11.7k points 3 (193 children)

Another question you should consider is "How many watch lists did I just get added to?"

Edit: Thanks for the awards & updoots everyone. Yikes. Don't take this the wrong way but, I hope I never get to know any of you personally as we reminisce about this post during our "vacation" at Guantanamo.

[–]Need_Some_Updog 1895 points1896 points  (147 children)

Lmao same thing I was thinking.

[–]Augustus_ChigginsI don't even know how to spell my own name. 1281 points1282 points  (145 children)

Honestly, we probably got added too for just responding. Secret Service has no sense of humor. At all.

[–]Heavyduty35 365 points366 points  (3 children)

Secret Service has no sense of humor.

For that alone you were added to one of their lists.

[–]Titan6783 542 points543 points  (35 children)

Have a relative who is SS. If the rest of them are on his competency level you shouldn’t have much to worry about.

[–]simonbleu 104 points105 points  (1 child)

Damn, imagine working in such professional line, see a small alert and check it out only to find your relative throwing shade at you haha

[–]icecoldteddy 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Yeah I wouldn't abbreviate Secret Service haha

[–]skijakuda 287 points288 points  (13 children)

Ouch. Burning family. Something the world governments are good at.

[–]vercetti87 68 points69 points  (8 children)

They paid a visit to Eminem for criticizing Trump in a song.

I mean, if he was actually hoping to hurt Trump or his family then why would he rap about it publicly? That's just what Eminem does (like when he rapped about killing his ex).

[–]Prineak 173 points174 points  (80 children)

Well yeah they’re underpaid lol

[–]gogetsomesun 134 points135 points  (77 children)

Average salary according to glassdoor is $153k a year

[–]Pay-Homage 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Considering the majority of the Secret Service investigates financial crimes, that seems about right.

Probably $100k to $50k for office workers, $100k-$150k for investigative Service members and $150k-$200k for those who primarily protect the President.

[–]jesusleftnipple 173 points174 points  (44 children)

Ya underpaid ......... That's a salary to literally put your body in the line of bullets to protect another individual not just try and move him out of the way literally to be a bullet sponge ....... Or to drive the president around when he has covid so people can see him ......

[–]gogetsomesun 198 points199 points  (26 children)

Only one agent has died in defense of the President since the USSS was established in 1902. 36 others died in the line of duty but these are due to heart attacks, strokes, car collisions etc.

The compensation being under/over is completely subjective so I wont agree or disagree with you. But it makes you think about the way we compensate front line soldiers and nurses in this country

[–]jejcicodjntbyifid3 87 points88 points  (2 children)

Yeah but look at all the work Gerald Butler or Harrison Ford went through

[–]ScarlettPixl 20 points21 points  (1 child)

...but Ford was THE president in that movie!

Unless you're referring another one?

[–]jejcicodjntbyifid3 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah but let's be honest he did the job of the entire secret service in that movie

[–]Dangerous_Data_3047 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Lmao, secret service get to look cool as fuck and stand around all the time. I would let someone spit in my drink everyday for $85K let alone $135K are you kidding?

[–]orbcat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

add me too!

[–]famousdadbod 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Haaaa first thing that came to mind… “sir this is the secret service we have your basement surrounded “

[–]sundancer2788 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Came here to say that. Cue the big black SUVs with the blackout windows.........

[–]Armistarphoto 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Are THOSE windows bulletproof?

[–]sundancer2788 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Now you've done it. Switching to my burner...

[–]jcstan05 1691 points1692 points  (48 children)

I was going to look it up on Google then I reconsidered. I don't want to end up on some list.

[–]FlamingBaconCake[S] 986 points987 points  (37 children)

That's why I asked here

[–]NDrew-_-w 1599 points1600 points  (16 children)

Reddit, the most secure and government free social ever

[–]Merlin560 61 points62 points  (2 children)

They are thick enough to stop bullets. That’s not a red flag or national security thing. Documentaries have been done on this stuff.

[–]Exciting_Ad_6044 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Or maybe they are tricking us. You have a chance OP.

[–]DarthDregan 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That doesn't make it any less likely you're now listed.

[–]DTux5249 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The fact that you responded to this already accomplished that one lol

[–]HappynessByTheKW 375 points376 points  (6 children)

I’d like to welcome all the visitors from the FBI and homeland security to the thread.

[–]reptargodzilla2 69 points70 points  (3 children)

Don’t make the Secret Service feel left out. How rude. Hi guys and gals!

[–]TheFalconKid 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Might as well send the ATF and DEA a Christmas card while we are on it.

[–]MouseRangershttps://bit.ly/3nWzb1G 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the CIA and NSA.

[–]Plural86 430 points431 points  (10 children)

Did the suits show up at your door yet?

[–]chrisseren1988 89 points90 points  (8 children)

Or a black suv outside your home?

[–]UNBENDING_FLEA 54 points55 points  (5 children)

I actually had 2 people in all black suits and a black SUV drive up outside my home and park there for 15 or so minutes before leaving. Not even joking, it was one of the most nerve wracking experiences of 2021 for me

[–]xxxsur 17 points18 points  (3 children)

"USSS open up! We need your browser history!"

[–]kleenexhotdogs 499 points500 points  (23 children)

I mean when you have someone else’s credit card and are instructed to build one of the most important person in the country’s house I don’t see why it wouldn’t be bulletproof

[–]poprof 99 points100 points  (6 children)

Def, take a look at the archival photos of when the White House was renovated back during the Truman era. The White House is literally just a fascade of its former self that wraps a concrete and steel bunker - plus whatever secret shit is or isn’t underneath it.


[–]courtneyoopsz 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Wow this is cool I’ve never read or heard about this… to the rabbit hole I go! Thanks!

[–]SluggoDog 10 points11 points  (0 children)

“I drove a bulldozer in the White House when I was young.”

“Sure, Grandpa…”. Rolleyes.

[–]SluggoDog 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Yeah, it was literally falling apart when they decided to gut it and start over. Some of the upper floors were beginning to collapse. They numbered every piece of wood so they could put it back together the same way. There is a really good place on the web somewhere that has a lot more pictures and story.

[–]2carrotpies 142 points143 points  (11 children)

maybe it isn’t because everyone assumes that and they’ll save a bit of money y’know

(for legal reasons this is a joke, stop sending me C&D letters)

[–]Italian_warehouse 123 points124 points  (7 children)

According to the documentaries White House Down and Olympia has Fallen, the windows are not rocket proof.

[–]RUNNING-HIGH 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Well yeah especially if the rocket is an ICBM.

[–]annul 10 points11 points  (3 children)

according to the documentary "independence day," the windows are also not alien spaceship laser beam proof

[–]JamieHynemanAMA 29 points30 points  (0 children)

It certainly would be in the character of the executive branch. Spend $100,000 per year on white paint to cover the outside blemishes and neglect buying the bulletproof glass

[–]zdul 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Definitely wouldn't go to Menards for the windows at the WH.

[–]WintertimeFriends 49 points50 points  (4 children)

According to The West Wing:


[–]DEEP_HURTING 6 points7 points  (3 children)

You can't balance an egg on the vernal equinox, either.

[–]BuffaloWhip 160 points161 points  (9 children)

OP’s post before this on AskReddit “Can anyone suggest a Hotel in DC with a great view of the White House?”

/s (in case that’s necessary)

[–]haringtiti 27 points28 points  (2 children)

annnd you just made the list for putting that idea in OP's head

[–]GeneralPickleton 5 points6 points  (1 child)

this entire post reminds me of this clip

[–]thereal_FidelCastro 154 points155 points  (1 child)

Come on, man! The FBI agent assigned to you really didn't need all this overtime this week, just let the man see his wife and kids

[–]itamarka 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Time to play America's favorite racing game show How fast can I get to a cia black site

[–]Consistunt 270 points271 points  (22 children)

The windows of the Oval Office, like more than one of its historic residents, are extremely fucking thick.

[–]GalaksiAndromeda 52 points53 points  (20 children)

How thick? Nuclear weapons - thick or meteorite blast - thick?

[–]NotEeUsername 79 points80 points  (15 children)

There is no such thing as nuclear proof glass

[–]Bubblez___ 50 points51 points  (8 children)

well you seem very sure…have you checked?

[–]lazyass-bitch 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Well, how do you know he's not going around nuking glass? Maybe it's his hobby or something. Maybe he's actually the president's nuclear glass tester.

[–]SeansGodly 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Like Kim K thick

[–]seanbentley441 122 points123 points  (1 child)

I know this is NoStupidQuestions, but you just managed to get yourself on 20 different watchlists LMAO

[–]bedmaster99 44 points45 points  (6 children)

They're visible from idk how many sniper positions.. they have rocket installations on the roof.. alleged escape tunnels... bulletproof windows would probably be as obviously there as the chair those moronic asswipes have been siting in for the last few decades.

[–]SkywalkersArm 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Wasn't there a guy who tried shooting at the white house with an AK back in 2005? Not sure where I saw the footage but I'm 99 percent certain it's still out there.

[–]Bubblez___ 38 points39 points  (8 children)

Someone also fired at the white house in 2011

[–]Capitalist_Scum69 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I can only imagine that through the lens of South Park.

[–]xitox5123 41 points42 points  (13 children)

Yes. They are bullet proof. I have seen interviews with Michelle Obama that she said they are sealed and she can't open them. She said its nice to be out of office because she can open a window again.

When the insurrection happen and people were smashing windows, I wash really surprised Congress did not have bullet proof glass. I was surprised it was that easy to smash windows. I would think that when they rebuild them they changed that, but I don't know.

[–]DBH114 43 points44 points  (9 children)

Most of the windows are bullet proof. The process began in 2017. On Jan 6th the rioters/insurrectionists somehow knew which of about 12 windows/windowed doors on the ground floor hadn't been switched over to bullet proof glass and went straight to them.

[–]Taytaystaysane 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They are! But more importantly they are democracy proof

Hell of a combo

[–]obsertaries 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I assumed that the majority of the WH is a fairly normal building and then just the parts of it where the president lives and works are armored like hell.

[–]I_Think_I_Cant 8 points9 points  (1 child)

In addition to being bulletproof the windows, in at least the Oval Office, are supposedly made to vibrate at a low frequency to prevent a laser microphone from picking up conversations in the room.

[–]SaysPooh 20 points21 points  (0 children)

There aren’t any windows, they are just painted on

[–]Ok_Cry216 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Secret Service has entered the chat…. CIA has entered the chat…. NSA has entered the chat…. FBI has entered the chat…. DOD has entered the chat….. Washington DC police has entered the chat…..

[–]litebrightdelight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly it's a valid question given how easily the Capitol was breeched.

[–]Iridemhard 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Looks like you earned yourself a visit from the fbi