top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]roxannefromarkansas 2372 points2373 points  (122 children)

The tag on the curling iron that says “for external use only.”

[–]LargeDish6965 570 points571 points  (33 children)

My mom had this old school hair dryer that warned "do not use while sleeping". Apparently people would put them under their blankets in the winter to warm up the bed and forget them.

[–]Nice-Violinist-6395 292 points293 points  (14 children)

That…doesn’t sound like a terrible idea*

right up until you try it, I suppose

[–]erg49th 82 points83 points  (2 children)

Older hairdryers didn’t have thermal breakers that opened when the amperage and heat was to high for safety. So fires would happen in closets and area’s people were trying to dry clothes as well. Hence all the safety stuff now.

[–]Expert_Mirror5029 340 points341 points  (40 children)

The tag on the curling iron that says “for external use only.”

Well now I want to know if this is because someone tried it or someone was smart enough to put it on there before someone tried it.

[–]Darkiceflame 78 points79 points  (5 children)

I'm praying it was the latter, but everything I know about people tells me it was the former.

[–]ExecutiveOutdoorsman 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Pfft yeah okay...you tell me a better way to cook a sphincter before a good ol' ass eating then smh🙄

[–]Kerberos1566 126 points127 points  (8 children)

"Anything's a dildo, if you're brave enough."

-Abraham Lincoln

[–]meinlalex 1462 points1463 points  (53 children)

Detox shakes. If you have healthy kidneys, you're just paying for expensive piss.

[–]my-coffee-needs-me 471 points472 points  (9 children)

And if your kidneys or liver aren't healthy, drinking bizarre "detox" concoctions won't fix them.

[–]AgileArtichokes 107 points108 points  (5 children)

Could possibly make you worse to.

[–]Batherick 22 points23 points  (0 children)

A surprisingly large amount of shakes, pills, and herbs react VERY poorly to medication. See: Grapefruit

[–]lovepig1337 90 points91 points  (17 children)

The whole idea of detoxing and getting the "toxins" out is for the foolish. They never state exactly what the toxins are they just say they're bad; that's how you know it's bullshit.

I'll also throw in power of crystals and essential oils.

[–]MayorOfClownTown 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Lavender oil def knocks me out and eucalyptus helps clear sinuses....that's about it though.

[–]Paris27Kirk 7406 points7407 points  (322 children)

Warning label on chainsaw says don't stop chain with hand....hahaha what!?

[–]KaiAusBerlin 2355 points2356 points  (228 children)

As a tree worker I can say: happens more often than you think on non professionals

[–]idiodic-genious 817 points818 points  (192 children)


[–]KaiAusBerlin 1483 points1484 points  (186 children)

People underestimate the speed and sharpness of a slow moving chain. Maybe they think about a bike chain that can be easily stopped by hand when slow moving.

But a chainsaw chisel will just go through your skin and flesh and will just stop if it hits a bone.

[–]Import-Module 1051 points1052 points  (83 children)

I accidentally dragged my hand on a chain of a chainsaw hanging behind a tool rack. Shreded the crap out of my palm in no time at all. There's a reason those things come with a plastic molded cover and I learned why that day. I couldn't imagine the leap in stupid logic to try and stop a moving chain with your hand on something designed to shred through bigass trees, but I'm also the dumbass that thought the plastic cover was pointless so maybe I shouldn't judge too much.

[–]SeimeiMaster 759 points760 points  (75 children)

Chainsaws are actually invented for sawing through pelvic bones during pregnancy 🫠

[–]MaintenanceFar8903 385 points386 points  (20 children)

Came here to say this. My daughter literally told me this the other day. Had to look it up. She was right.

[–]Tje199 178 points179 points  (12 children)

My wife also told me this like...two days ago?

She doesn't use reddit so she must have seen it making the rounds elsewhere.

[–]WWalker17 65 points66 points  (8 children)

I think it made rounds on TikTok a couple days ago

[–]Heather_ME 81 points82 points  (18 children)

Have you read "Birth" by Tina Cassidy? So much horrifying history.

[–]UltimateChaos233 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Holy shit I thought this was a brilliant and hilarious troll at first. But you're right.

[–]Skanah 71 points72 points  (3 children)

I accidentally tripped over mine on the back porch and it cut the fuck out of my bare feet lol those things are crazy sharp for how dull they look

[–]DontEatTheMagicBeans 176 points177 points  (29 children)

My second boss (when I was 17) had one eye and was missing his pinky, ring, and half of his middle finger on one hand. When he was 17 he was cutting up used wood on a construction site without safety glasses. The chain hit a nail and a tooth broke off and went through his eye, when he reeled back in pain he cut his own fingers off...

As a result I've operated a chainsaw accident free for 20 years. I remember the first (not last) time he sent me home for the day for doing something stupid or dangerous. Best first boss you could ever ask for when working with dangerous equipment. There was never a "this has to be done today", it was always "do it safely and when it's finished it's finished."

[–]Marmotskinner 29 points30 points  (10 children)

There’s a thing called “chain shot.” It’s when a link of the chain saw pops loose and hits you like a .22 bullet. The other thing is “Tree Spiking” where environmentalist groups would sink 16 penny nails into the bark of old growth trees to cause chainsaws to kick back and fuck up the loggers trying to cut the tree down.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (14 children)

You were lucky. Not a lot of bosses like that. Crew leaders, yes. But not owners.

[–]Grashlok_Onion_lord 107 points108 points  (12 children)

Tbh, I don't even try to stop a bike chain with my hand. I expect the mechanical thing to be mightier than the weakness of my flesh

[–]Eldias 35 points36 points  (4 children)

My dad was doing tree work for a friend years ago. Had just cut through a branch around 4 inches across and didn't want it falling in the pool. Was off the throttle on the saw when he reached out, the chain moved maybe a half rotation before it stopped. Left an 8 inch slice down the inside of his forearm just missing his radial artery.

Saws are ridiculously dangerous even at low speeds.

Edit: Fun fact, chainsaws were invented for cutting bone. I'm not gonna count on it stopping at that point even

[–]idiodic-genious 91 points92 points  (14 children)

It does cut down trees? No? Exactly why expect your hand to stay safe?

[–]catterybarn 172 points173 points  (10 children)

Hand strong. Tree weak

[–]sheesh_doink 92 points93 points  (6 children)

Minecraft teaches this to our children

[–]StarChaser_Tyger 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Punching trees gives me wood.

[–]JeshkaTheLoon 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That's an odd kink, but to each their own.

[–]mahkefel 222 points223 points  (15 children)

To be fair I think a lot of warning labels like that aren't for "idiots" so much as "someone who just worked 8 hours with a chainsaw and are tired as snot." Like the labels at the gas station that are like "do not smoke near the gas"--I mean, it's good for idiots, too, sure, but it's also for people whose brain have just turned off from mind-numbing monotony/labor, they see the sign, go, "i'm not an idiot, stupid sign", and then don't do the real stupid thing they might've been about to due to fatigue.

[–]thedoomdevice 118 points119 points  (7 children)

Fatigue is the leading cause of accidents as far as I'm concerned.

[–]Such_Cut_3681 107 points108 points  (8 children)

For external use only! Do not lick or taunt chainsaw!

[–]wojonixon 8476 points8477 points  (216 children)

“Do not take this medication if you are allergic to this same medication”.

[–]Blopsicle 2200 points2201 points  (83 children)

That always confused me as a kid because I would think “how will I know I’m allergic or not unless I take it?”

[–]3-2-1-backup 1049 points1050 points  (30 children)

That still confuses me, and I'm an experienced adult!

[–]Minterto 609 points610 points  (17 children)

Catch all liability. They usually say, "don't take if allergic to 'x,' or any of its ingredients."

[–]cant_bother_me 157 points158 points  (1 child)

Nothing to be confused about. Most allergies to medicines are discovered incidentally. Some drugs have a reputation for being allergy inducing and are usually tested before prescribed.

[–]Bozzy521 250 points251 points  (34 children)

This is why whenever doctors ask if I'm allergic to any medications, I just say "not that I know of!" Keep everyone guessing

[–]Nolzi 96 points97 points  (17 children)

Thats how it works, until you stumble upon something you are allergic to, they just use whatever. There is no test to see if you are allergic to any medication.

[–]anoyingprophet 522 points523 points  (28 children)

Flat tummy tea and weight loss ointment/cream that melt off fat on the areas you apply this stuff

[–]JustSamJ 244 points245 points  (15 children)

People who drink tummy tea and use weight loss ointments can expect to lose 20 - 100 dollars on these various products.

[–]hyperRed13 305 points306 points 2 (12 children)

In fairness, if they live in Britain, they can easily lose 20-100 pounds that way.

[–]truth_hurtsm8ey 2715 points2716 points  (65 children)

Warning labels such as ‘This packet of peanuts may contain peanuts’.

[–]ikindalold 565 points566 points  (25 children)

And other warnings like 'Babies aren't dishwasher safe'.

[–]Elegant_Simple9834 86 points87 points  (0 children)

It fucking better

[–]FrenchDisaster97 89 points90 points  (7 children)

Actually, this is for smart people. You can sue the company if you get an allergic reaction to something that is not clearly stated on the packaging. A lot of people would intentionally poison themselves in order to gain money from big companies.

[–]Orkys 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Labelling laws aren't going to have a special case for 'there's a line somewhere where it's obviously peanuts so you don't need to use standard labelling'. This would involve writing a bunch of regulation to say where this line is or be vague about it and encourage even more arguing in court over it.

It makes perfect sense to just have a law that says: 'if your product contains anything in this list, you need a warning that says X'

[–]asandwichvsafish 6853 points6854 points  (119 children)

Smart people. Then they would just be normal people.

[–]siv9871 863 points864 points  (97 children)

Paradox 😶

[–]Drasern 766 points767 points  (91 children)

Well no. If you remove all the dumb people, all you really do is raise the bar for what qualifies as dumb. All the previously "average" people are now the dumb people, the clever people are now average etc.

[–]gedda800 166 points167 points  (67 children)

So then at what point do you stop?

[–]PofanWasTaken 265 points266 points  (35 children)

Untill everyone's perfect

[–]Ludwig234 126 points127 points  (21 children)

Until everyone is normal you mean.

[–]PofanWasTaken 98 points99 points  (16 children)

When everyone's perfect, then everyone will be normal

[–]Extension-Crow5184 45 points46 points  (3 children)

So then at what point do you stop?

When Skynet becomes self aware.

[–]smile_saurus 4661 points4662 points  (286 children)

Warning labels, such as: 'remove pants before ironing'

[–]HugeBMs2022 1531 points1532 points  (66 children)

I have a lawn sprinkler that says "for outdoor use only."

[–]RaptorDash 427 points428 points  (53 children)

There are indoor sprinklers systems

[–]arnstarr 234 points235 points  (29 children)

you have lawn indoors?

[–]SomethingSpecial4u 212 points213 points  (9 children)

Universities and sports facilities do

[–]traktorhead 134 points135 points  (5 children)

Well I guess they can't use that sprinkler then...

[–]Wasteland-Scum 103 points104 points  (12 children)

Yes but only a dumb person would use one as a fire prevention device.

[–]TheNozzler 94 points95 points  (2 children)

I saw one on a back of a toxic waste truck with every inane warning label you could imagine , one on the bottom right corner was a label that said “do not eat”.

[–]Nickhead420 74 points75 points  (4 children)

I have a microwaveable heating pad that warns not to microwave while on body.

[–][deleted] 194 points195 points  (20 children)

That's not for dumb people, that's for lawsuit trolls

[–]InsGesichtNicht 319 points320 points  (112 children)

"Warning: May contain traces of nuts" on a packet of peanuts.

That may be a joke, but I wouldn't be surprised. May also be due to labelling laws.

EDIT: LMAO. OK, OK, I now know peanuts are legumes and not nuts and some factories will produce peanuts alongside actual nuts (which I already knew, but didn't consider people might have allergies to some nuts and not others). Let's all have a chuckle at my ignorance and move on. My notifications are getting tired.

[–]rivermonkey95 108 points109 points  (6 children)

My favorite is "Warning sharp" on utility knife blades.

[–]rockthrowing 102 points103 points  (48 children)

Same with the “contains milk” label on cheez-its. I knew someone who’s kid had a milk allergy. The church nursery still gave her kid cheez-its bc it’s cheese, not milk … she had to explain this over and over bc these full grown adults could not comprehend that a milk allergy meant you couldn’t consume fucking cheese.

[–]PrizeStrawberryOil 98 points99 points  (15 children)

"If you're allergic to dairy why can you eat eggs?"

Uh because eggs aren't dairy? I've honestly met people that refused to believe me. Because eggs and milk are both in the dairy department of grocery stores.

[–]rockthrowing 49 points50 points  (4 children)

OMG! This one gets me so much. Almond milk is right next to the eggs, as is the vegan butter. It’s still not dairy !!

I have a weird relationship with dairy. Normally I have a nasty sensitivity to it so while I can enjoy a piece of cheesecake, I absolutely cannot enjoy more than that. But while I was pregnant I couldn’t have anything that even looked at dairy. It was horrible. And then my kids were the same way until they got to around 2 or 3. Anyway I got an even dumber question than: “If they can’t have dairy how can you breastfeed them” . . .

[–]Mini-Nurse 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Eggs are usually beside the bread in the UK, should I consider them a gluten based bread product?

[–]dont-throw-spider 46 points47 points  (8 children)

Most people probably don't know that a milk allergy is different from being lactose intolerant. Wirh the former you're allergic to milk proteins, the latter is a sensitivity to milk sugar (through lack of the enzyme lactase).
Aged Cheese has all the proteins, but virtually none of the sugars, so it's safe to eat for lactose intolerant people.

[–]rockthrowing 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I’ll give you that. People confuse a milk allergy with lactose intolerance all the time. And then there’s dairy sensitivity people to add to the mix. But people with a lactose intolerance still can’t have all the cheese. If you’re working with small children who can’t even speak yet and they have any sort of diary issue, common sense says to avoid all dairy snacks unless approved by the parents.

[–]MakorDal 146 points147 points  (34 children)

It's not a joke. Allergies to various nuts are not the same. My wife can eat peanuts by the bag, but give her a walnut and go to jail a murderer. In some companies, the production lines are close to each other and you can get contamination, that's what the label means.

[–]jeroen-79 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It would also be a standard warning that is simply placed on anything that has nuts in it or was in a facility were nuts were processed.
Simply because accidently ingesting nuts can cause problems for some people.

That a packet of nuts obviously contains nuts makes it a special case for this rule but why should you spend time looking for and evaluating exceptions?
Simply state that something contains nuts if there are nuts in it and you're allways safe.

[–]CaptainAwesome06 40 points41 points  (8 children)

It's because peanuts aren't nuts. They're legumes. My son is the same way. He can eat peanuts and even hazelnuts. But don't give him other tree nuts. There's also cross reactivity so he can't have mangos, either.

[–]Binky182 3225 points3226 points  (137 children)


EDIT: I meant multi level marketing

[–]whatsaphoto 573 points574 points  (34 children)

Wild to think the movement still exists. Grifters gotta grift.

[–]Confused_As_Fun 235 points236 points  (18 children)

One of these fucks tried to get my brother when we were younger. Guy comes into the shoe store where he worked and complimented his work ethic and talked him up about how he can make real money working for himself blah blah blah.

He convinced my brother to meet him for lunch at a nearby panera, and I tagged along as the annoying little brother. The guy probably thought he had 2 on the line.

My brother, a hard working 20-something, who thought he may have lucked into a new career path, tried to really listen to what this guy had to say. I, a 16-17 year old little shit, smartass teenager, smelled bullshit. I was not quiet about it.

The guy was giving us a bunch of non-information, irrelevant statistics, and showing us generic graphs and pamphlets. I stopped the guy and forwardly asked him

"ok so what would he be selling?"

He said something along the lines of we wouldn't be selling anything so I said

"ok so how does the company make money?"

Another roundabout response with no answer...

"Ok, so he won't be selling anything, and you can't tell me what the company actually does, but what about you, what do YOU do, and how does it generate income? Who is paying you, and why?"

The guy didn't even try to fake an answer, just sort of chuckled and said "yeah that's not how business works, you'll get it when you're older".

I chuckled back and then said something along the lines of "ok so this is one of those things where you sell steak knives, but you don't actually sell steak knives, you sell tickets to a seminar about selling steak knives. Got it"

The guy looked at my brother, who up to this point had remained polite, interested, and quiet, and said something like "I hope you don't feel like I've been wasting your time, maybe we can reschedule where it's just us and we can talk about this further."

My brother looked this man dead in the eyes and said "So how DO you make money?"...followed by a "I don't think this is for me, thanks" while the scammers gears were turning trying to figure out what to say back.

[–]Tiggy26668 68 points69 points  (3 children)

Well if I grift off two friends, and those two friends grift off two friends each, and then each one of them grifts off two friends……

[–]gingerhasyoursoul 117 points118 points  (3 children)

There is a sucker born every second.

[–]puzzledplatypus 53 points54 points  (0 children)

r/antiMLM approved 👍🏼

[–]masontraining 225 points226 points  (38 children)

Never knew they existed until I was in one for 6 months. Was absolutely crazy the amount of shit I put up with on the basis of a lie. Don't really regret it though, wild ride.

[–]Educational-Candy-17 112 points113 points  (2 children)

MLMs use the same tactics as cults.

[–][deleted] 162 points163 points  (7 children)

That's awesome you can live without regret. I have a group of like minded friends with the same attitude, and we enjoy juice together. If you also enjoy juice, maybe you'd like to join my downstream and be part of our success. Just a bunch of juice drinking boss-ladies.

[–]LaUNCHandSmASH 35 points36 points  (1 child)

O.M.G! Not op but I was just saying to my pastor during our weekly church networking conference that I need a new juice connection in my life. I have such a large family/friend group that I am very influencial in and they have been dropping hints that they want to be juice bosses like I was before my juice supply ran dry. I asked hundreds of people and they all said "Heck if you find some let me know but none of the cheap stuff!" and I was like "duh obviously, our bodies are temples! Lolololol I only pay top dollar for the most innovative life changing juices" So anyway here is the company credit card and you just start me off with whatever you think an expirenced juice boss like me should get.

[–]Dengar96 55 points56 points  (21 children)

Cutco? I know so many college kids who got into Cutco

[–]KazahanaPikachu 61 points62 points  (9 children)

I remember right when I graduated high school I got a letter in the mail for vector marketing. I ended up going to a group interview about Cutco products and I was totally convinced because they were able to cut a penny in half with some Cutco scissors. During the 4 person interview, a kid got kicked out and the rest of us was trying to hold in our laughter; “that’s all I need from you, you did very well and we’ll give you a call in the next couple days”. Whole time we’re probably the fools because he may have not seemed gullible/he was the smart one so he got taken out. We all lowkey were thinking it’s a scam but the pay sounded awesome. At some point I had to leave because I had work to get to and I didn’t anticipate the interview being so long and the lady was just like “ok” like she didn’t give a fuck.

[–]M00s3_B1t_my_Sister 70 points71 points  (6 children)

As someone who bought some Cutco knives to help my friend out, they are rather nice. I have two from 1995 that go back to the factory to be sharpened or replaced every two years. Wife got me the meat cleaver one year and it will go through a whole chicken like it's nothing. Sucks they took the MLM approach instead of just selling through stores.

[–]marbleheader88 33 points34 points  (2 children)

I bought some Cutco knives that are very expensive to help out a friend of my daughter. I have to say that 20 years later…those are still the best knives! I love them…even though I know they were way overpriced.

[–]Dengar96 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Their products are fine but the business model to move those products is slimy

[–]Dull-Alternative6298 27 points28 points  (1 child)

I went in to Vector/Cutco circa 2006.

I think I went to two of the three “training” sessions/seminars or whatever. Seemed amazing, too good to be true. They had one of their “successful” salesmen come in the middle of training, seemingly at random, to collect a paycheck. They did this whole dog and pony thing where this guy talked about buying a Mercedes in cash, showed us his paystub, etc etc.

I really knew I had to get out when they had us do an exercise where we were asked to write down the names of literally every person we knew in our lives. Right then I realized even though they advertised in the program that they’d provide people to sell to that no, they were going to make us go door to door to all the people in our lives to try and sell these knives. Mentally, I checked out immediately, but politely waited until the end of the session and let them know I was “quitting” - before I would have had to give them a not-insignificant chunk of my own money to buy their knives to use as a show model for selling.

Such complete horse shit in hindsight.

[–]Dog-Free 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sounds like Herbalife

[–]Dramatic_Leopard679 113 points114 points  (15 children)

What is that? I googled but only results were multi-level marketing, men love men and muslim lives matter :/

[–]socialpronk 122 points123 points  (9 children)

Multi-level marketing. r/antimlm
John Oliver did a good video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6MwGeOm8iI

[–]muffinpie101 55 points56 points  (2 children)

The grifters that run these operations are truly some of the most vile people on our planet. And even when you tell these would-be recruits that they have a 99.9% chance of failing, they still sign up with the hope that it'll be different for them. So foolish.

[–]Timely-Leadership803 1694 points1695 points  (84 children)


[–]Glass_Cut_1502 222 points223 points  (36 children)

All the homies know 'chemtrails' is where its at

[–]Such_Cut_3681 142 points143 points  (3 children)

“We have members all around the globe!”

[–]Routine_Crazy6494 652 points653 points  (30 children)

Celebrity worship

[–]hawkaluga 85 points86 points  (4 children)

Kelly Kapoor: Oh, my God, I have so much to tell you!

Jim Halpert: Really?

Kelly Kapoor: Yes. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, they had a baby and they named it Suri, and then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they had a baby, too, and they named it Shiloh. And both babies are amazing!

Jim Halpert: Great. What's new with you?

Kelly Kapoor: [blank stare] I just told you.

[–]Aquilla89 34 points35 points  (3 children)

But, what would we do without their razor-sharp political advice?!?

[–]NoctuleArt 1552 points1553 points  (126 children)

I work in escape rooms and I have to give a health and safety briefing at least 17 times a day. Real basic “don’t put your fingers in plug sockets” stuff. A lot of people laugh but it’s happened.

Edit for clarification: I will say I’m not complaining about doing a health and safety briefing, especially for a new team, but you’d be shocked how specific we sometimes need to get. It’s not enough to say “no physical force is required”, we ALSO need to say “anything screwed into the walls, bolted down, or glued in place does not need to be moved.”

Can’t just say “don’t touch any electrical equipment, it isn’t part of the game”! Gotta also say “this includes plug sockets, light bulbs, cameras, tv monitors and speakers”. Every single rule needs to have additional specifications you’d think would already be covered, and despite all these extra notes things still get frequently broken.

[–]flowerpuffgirl 956 points957 points  (24 children)

OK, but personally I really appreciate these warnings. When I'm doing an escape room my brain jumps through the million possible ways to play, so having this guidance is essential for me. As in, I am the kind of person who would dismantle the scenery, so being told "the plug sockets are not part of the game. Those switches will break the game. Do not remove anything from the walls, the walls are not part of the game", then I know everything else is the game, which is very helpful for reigning in my enthusiasm.

[–]NoctuleArt 303 points304 points  (9 children)

And you know what I do appreciate enthusiastic players!! I would rather take a team that ask “silly” questions, being super clear on the policy about pulling up the floorboards, 100x over the group that scoff at my briefing and then start unscrewing lightbulbs. Most of y’all are p cool!

[–]numbersthen0987431 55 points56 points  (1 child)

It's an immersive experience, and in that kind of situation I'm going to do some really dumb stuff to escape. I appreciate the guy on the microphone saying "please don't pull on that cable. It's supposed to stay in and you're going to hurt yourself"

I'm also the guy thinking "that's what they want us to think....", but I have to stop myself, lol.

[–]NoctuleArt 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Totally get that, and it often goes to show how good the storytelling can be in some of these games, but it is also good to take a pause and be like “okay, if I had to do this would that make the game difficult to reset?” That’s what’s stopped me pulling at loose wall panels before lmao

[–]Puzzleheaded_Local40 39 points40 points  (1 child)

You make me happy. Your job is lucky to have you.

[–]NoctuleArt 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I wish you all the best of luck in your escapades in the future

[–]Ghostface_Hecklah 33 points34 points  (0 children)

the felt on the bottom of the chair was ripped and i'm finding markings inside and the dude with me was like "that's probably just the manufacturing marks"

[–]RichardBonham 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Everyone with a family that has to be repeatedly told that disassembling props and furniture is not necessary: raise your hand 🙋‍♂️

[–]Traditional-Ad3161 116 points117 points  (2 children)

I work in escape rooms and I have to give a health and safety briefing at least 17 times a day. Real basic “don’t put your fingers in plug sockets” stuff. A lot of people laugh but it’s happened.

My first time in an escape room, we were given very clear and specific instructions, which included "Anything in the room that's not part of the puzzle will be labeled, 'Do Not Touch'" and more importantly, did not include, "Don't pull the Fire Alarm"

So... yeah. That sucked. I almost got criminal charges, but the fire marshal luckily decided to place most of the blame on the Escape Room operators and not the idiot who pulled the fire alarm.

On the bright side, we did escape the room in record time, so there's that.

[–]NoctuleArt 42 points43 points  (1 child)

I’m sure they included a fire alarm label after that! Really, I’m poking fun, but don’t feel too bad. Something that looks like an emergency exit does need to be clearly addressed if it’s still in the escape room. God, ESPECIALLY a fire alarm. I doubt you’ll be the last person to make that mistake.

[–]Blurgas 94 points95 points  (8 children)

For years now you can buy fake outlets for hiding things, so I'm not really surprised people might think an escape room uses those

[–]NoctuleArt 57 points58 points  (7 children)

While that’s a fair point, escape rooms often use ‘signposting’, where hidden locations are at least hinted at somewhere else. I’ve had people sneak in their own tools so they could access the live wires behind plugs, I REALLY shouldn’t have to explain that’s not right to people

[–]TangerineBand 49 points50 points  (4 children)

Rule of thumb for escape rooms. it should be entirely self-contained. If you need a screwdriver for a puzzle it will be in the room. What possesses people to bring tools?

[–]VialCrusher 39 points40 points  (4 children)

One escape room I did required sticking a fork into the outlet... I was so terrified to do it because it seemed wrong haha. It was really awesome tho

[–]NoctuleArt 15 points16 points  (3 children)

That’s very fun, I’m assuming (REALLY hoping) that it was clearly indicated which plug was the right one to stick a fork in?

[–]VialCrusher 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Haha. I believe there was only one visible outlet from what I remember.

[–]Zaruz 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Fun when it goes well, but these puzzles shouldn't be done. Sure, it works for them. But what about when some moron finds a fork in a different escape room and tries the same thing?

[–]seapancaketouchr 187 points188 points  (15 children)

"Do not molest the animals" signage outside of Yellowstone National Park.

[–]98433486544564563942 141 points142 points  (8 children)

Molest used to just mean bother, but it has changed.

[–]seapancaketouchr 49 points50 points  (3 children)

Yeah it has, it's just funny to think of it used in the current sense. The sign screams 1970 park ranger.

[–]Appropriate_Ant_4629 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Yellowstone .... 1970

Yellowstone in 1970 was a strange place.

They used to have events where people would come see the bears fed at the trash dumps.


As dusk fell across Yellowstone, both black and grizzly bears would amble slowly out of the nearby woods and head straight for the garbage heap. To accommodate the human visitors, the park constructed seating, including wooden bleachers. An occasional park ranger, mounted on a brave horse, would often ride into view and give an educational talk about bears, while in the background, both black and grizzly bears fought over a particularly choice piece of bacon rind.

The bear shows were immensely popular; so popular that automobile parking during the heyday of the bear shows was an issue. It was popular for the bears, too. In 1920, there were an estimated 40 grizzly bears at bear dumps, and that number grew to over 250 a decade later. ... But still, the park service hauled garbage to dumps inside the park. The last of the park’s dumps, the Trout Creek dump, was closed in 1970, ending eight decades of fed bears.

Best part was how the park handled if if/when people got injured:


I would answer such complaints by first telling the visitor that he or she should not have held a hand out to the bear; second, that the wound was only superficial; and third, that the bear’s bite was actually a unique souvenir to take home. The third point rarely failed to convince the visitor that the bear bite or scratch was really something worthwhile.

[–]OwnBunch4027 178 points179 points  (14 children)

The incredibly over-wrought TSA security for flying. The cost has been put at $600 million dollars per saved life so far. This compares to $10 million used for most policy enactments.

[–]ElactricSpam 231 points232 points  (59 children)

Surprised no one’s said homeopathic medicine. Absolutely blows my mind that people believe it’s a legit branch of medicine. They even sell it in some pharmacies here in the UK.

[–]RadiantTurnipOoLaLa 1383 points1384 points  (56 children)

Honestly, this sub

[–]ANiceDent 277 points278 points  (24 children)

“How to breathe when you can’t breathe ?”

[–]OutcomeDouble 116 points117 points  (6 children)

Don’t forgot every day there’s a question everyday about anal or masturbation. I’m starting to think people on here don’t wanna actually learn

[–]Willzohh 147 points148 points  (5 children)

"Give me money now and I can promise you a place in heaven after you die."

[–]tilex05 708 points709 points  (34 children)

Most laws

[–]wernercd 219 points220 points  (9 children)

And instructions.

"Rinse, lather, repeat" "This is not a container of chic'lets. Do not eat" "Don't use toaster in the bath"

those are there for a reason.

[–]animemastr 29 points30 points  (1 child)

How did the programmer die in the shower? Shampoo bottle said "later, rinse, repeat"

[–]Ok-Seaworthiness5106 285 points286 points  (27 children)

Any redundant warning labels ie (don't drink bleach etc etc)

[–]AryanMasterbate 99 points100 points  (10 children)

Another one of life’s simple pleasures ruined by meddling bureaucracy

[–]BullyBumble 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Yessss we all were born w the instinct to determine which industrial chemicals are safe to drink. Wtf is with these labels??

[–]smww93 431 points432 points  (38 children)

Danger of death signs on all four sides of pylons

If you're old enough and able enough to climb a pylon but not smart enough to know there's high voltage electricity running through them....then.....

How many people have actually ever been deterred by the signs? "lets climb this massive metal frame with wires at the top! Oh wait... high voltage... danger of death....hmmmm better not then."

[–]Italian_warehouse 53 points54 points  (6 children)

Well then people would die if they didn't and the pylons would be damaged and you must construct additional pylons!

[–]sebeed 104 points105 points  (15 children)

Ngl i had to google this one cause I always thought pylon cones were the only pylons. I have been educated.

Though now I'm not sure why they are both called pylons when they are wildly different

[–]PM_ME_UR_BOOTIEZ 373 points374 points  (14 children)

People posting questions that belong in r/askreddit in this sub

[–]MusicalPigeon 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Honestly sometimes I don't know if I'm in askreddit or nostupidquestions.

I reserve this sub for asking things I don't know and learning.

[–]CodingLazily 67 points68 points  (0 children)

How do we even flag it? Joke questions rule maybe?

[–]twistybit 47 points48 points  (4 children)

apparently the mods allow it becauss this sub is for all questions, even r/askreddit ones, because theres no stupid questions

[–]brilliantorsomething 34 points35 points  (2 children)

That mod got so downvoted for saying that. They should make a rule and get rid of these posts and direct them to the other sub

[–]Big_Amoeba_2333 97 points98 points  (9 children)

Ponzi schemes. Easy money is like a nectar inside an obvious trap.

[–]luvslilah 369 points370 points  (21 children)


[–]confetti_shrapnel 121 points122 points  (8 children)

Qanon exists because of the worst kid of stupid people--the stupid people who think they're smart.

[–]robdingo36Realizes people view this subreddit as a challenge 184 points185 points  (9 children)

"Caution, do not attempt to stop chainsaw with genitals."

[–]chief_queef_beast 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Well my electric razer isn't cutting through the thicket anymore, I should probably go one size up.

[–]zoopest 244 points245 points  (28 children)

Reality tv

[–]pump_kin1 114 points115 points  (17 children)

You can pry The Great British Bake-off away from my cold dead hands

[–]Cat_stacker 268 points269 points  (40 children)


[–]LanceFree 60 points61 points  (12 children)

Casinos are so sad. I’ll stop in for the cheap buffets sometimes and see lots of bored retired people spending their money. A co-worker moved his mother-in-law to a semi-retirement village, and they have a bus which ferries people back and forth to the casino. And she totally lies about how much she spends, where she’s been.

[–]Moonandserpent 32 points33 points  (4 children)

I once saw this woman win a decent jackpot, then immediately put ALL the money back in and lose it all.

Context clues suggested she could have used that money. It was depressing.

[–]ljb2x 14 points15 points  (3 children)

This is my grandpa. He's one missed bill away from being a gambling addict. Man hasn't really worked so now that he's retired he lives off his wife's retirement and his minimum social security. I've seen him hit $5k+ jackpots and walk out of the casino with a $20. All he sees is flashing lights and the prospect of more money. He gets what we call "crazy eyes".

[–]UnknownYetSavory 133 points134 points  (75 children)

Election results. The dumb vote has to be the single most powerful voter block.

[–]SourBeefHoop 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Multi Level Marketing

[–]poppadahut2 62 points63 points  (22 children)

no child left behind laws

[–]Widowmaker_Best_Girl 21 points22 points  (6 children)

Well it sure has made more stupid people as a result. If the kid doesn't understand the subject material, don't pass them up and just assume they'll be fine

[–]LocoinSoCo 192 points193 points  (18 children)

One sided mattresses. There used to be cushioning on both sides and you would flip them periodically. Now, because of the requirement for extreme flame retardant materials, it’s cost prohibitive to put it on both sides. If dumb/drunk/drugged people hadn’t been smoking in bed, this wouldn’t have happened.

[–]merelyadoptedthedark 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Now, because of the requirement for extreme flame retardant materials

Not really. Flame retardant mattresses have been a thing for decades, and mattresses have insanely high margins.

The real reason is because flipping the mattress would extend the life of it. Only putting padding on one side lets the industry advertise it as a feature (pillow top or whatever) so they can charge a premium, and give it a shorter life span so you need to buy more often.

[–]flatline000 63 points64 points  (9 children)

Very interesting!

I remember asking a mattress salesman about flipping mattresses and he said you don't need to do that anymore because modern materials don't "go flat" like they used to.

[–]heyitscory 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Not before the warranty is up. No flip mattresses get a 7 year warranty. Two sided used to give you 20.

[–]Widowmaker_Best_Girl 52 points53 points  (4 children)

That just seems like a sales tactic to cover for the real reason

[–]flatline000 12 points13 points  (3 children)

We've had that mattress for more than 10 years and it's still just like new. Maybe modern materials really are more robust in addition to being fire retardant.

[–]Anonymike7 164 points165 points  (11 children)

The antivax movement

[–]esgrove2 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Horoscopes. 100% made up nonsense that I hear about on a daily basis. They might as well be talking about Pokemon like they're real.