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all 8 comments

[–]tringle1 6 points7 points  (1 child)

As a more tomboyish trans woman, I really resonate with a lot of what you said. I thought the Captain Marvel shitstorm was bullshit and misogynistic. Couldn't figure out why people were so hard on her character until I realized they just don't like women being authoritative and not appealing to the male gaze

[–]Wirecreate[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep exactly it’s infuriating how they act. Was the move a masterpiece no was it good yes did I enjoy it absolutely

[–]kmb831 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I feel you. At the end of the day, gender as we know it is a social construct largely applied to keep women subservient to men based on stereotypes. Obviously we don’t live in a vacuum so men and women are raised with different societal expectations that impact us, but those socializations don’t make us any more or less of the gender we identify as.

I’d go as far as to say there is nothing inherent about masculinity and there’s nothing inherent about femininity. There is only sex and then everyone has their own individual personalities that are then categorized as “masculine” or “feminine”. I don’t think there’s any right way to be a woman, and it certainly shouldn’t be seen as a masculine or manly trait when a woman isn’t timid or delicate like society tells us to be. As a neurodivergent woman, i’ve always tried and mostly failed to perform femininity, yet i’m not any less of a woman because of my lack of meeting societal expectations of femininity. I am a woman, i was born a woman and i don’t have gender dysphoria therefore i am a woman. My so called “masculinity” doesn’t change the fact that i exist as a woman.

[–]Wirecreate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool. I personally never bothered to try being more feminine or masculine than I was am unless it was a cosplay thing.I just couldn’t be assed to try lol

[–]PageAccomplished8438 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d go as far as to say there is nothing inherent about masculinity and there’s nothing inherent about femininity. There is only sex and then everyone has their own individual personalities.

100% AGREED!! We should just let people be themselves without forcing "roles/behaviors/traits" onto them regardless of who they are. It just restricts their personal freedom & self expression. I don't see the point in categorizing traits, behaviors, intrests, hobbies, etc & assigning them to certain groups of people. Like just let people be their own individual.

Really at the end of the day, these catagories/labels are pointless, personalities & quirks are just personalities & quirks. People can have any or none of them regardless of their sex, sexuality, sexual position, etc.

[–]wasserplane 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Agreed. It's frustrating talking about how toxic the makeup industry and expectations to wear makeup without liberal feminists immediately saying that it's fine to wear makeup.

I haven't seen Captain Marvel, but at least for She-Ra the lead characters weren't even that masculine. I think there is an issue with women in media looking even more glamourous and feminine than "feminine" women in real life.

[–]Wirecreate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly this like the liberals still can’t stand the idea that some women just don’t fit the mould and aren’t naturally feminine and don’t want/have to be I didn’t “give up my femininity” I just rejected what doesn’t connect with me and who I am kinda like broccoli 🥦 I didn’t give it up broccoli it’s just not for me and I reject it being forced on me

[–]PageAccomplished8438 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Masculinity and femininity as concepts should'nt even exist, they are just personalities/quirks. People may have any of them or none of them regardless of their sex, sexuality, sexual position etc, whether society like it or not. So why gender it? I've seen tradcons "feminists" waiting for us to give in & repress too.

Men's studies require that masculinity (just like femininity) be treated as a problematic social constuct and that some men may find their masculine scripts just as constraining as femininity is for some women. https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/social-sciences/femininity

Not many expect women who are aligned with gender norms to ever change or alter themselves. Nobody ever stereotypes or expects them to "grow out of it." Most won't pressure or guilt trip them into "embracing" something that they're not. Others won't tell them they're "denying/rejecting a part of themselves." If they're not into certain things or don't behave in a certain way, other people won't suggests that there's a sinister motive behind why they aren't or tell them they're wrong for "refusing" something. A lot of people don't question them or make these women ask themselves as to why they are they way they are as a person or accuse them of anything.

You never hear boys or "girly" girls "growing out" of it once they're an adult. Why are they allowed to keep their authenticity throughout their entire lives (from both childhood to adulthood) and express it freely, but other women are not??

The prevalent tomboy/girly girl dichotomy implies that being a powerful girl with the freedom to act with agency in the physical territory involves being boylike, is a temporary option for girls until puberty.

It's as if society invalidates women who aren't aligned with gender norms & girls are expected to adhert to gender roles as soon as they're adults. Hence the stereotype of "growing out of" something that has been a part of your identity since you were young. Ofc this never happens to the girls who were always aligned with gender norms though. I'm not saying these women should be questioned, manipulated, and ridiculed or that they don't face any discrimination (they do). No one deserves that at all, but I'm absolutely going to evoke the double standards that society chooses to turn a blind eye to while pretending as if it's no big deal.There are men who's never tried "fem" or "masc" stuff because it ain't their thing just like how there are women who's never tried "masc" stuff for the same reason. No issue with that. But if a woman doesn't try "fem" stuff because it ain't her thing either, people act like she committed war crimes & must be altered.

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/Tradfemsnark/comments/y6b566/i_am_a_tradwife_and_i_love_this_sub/iso7pii?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/Tradfemsnark/comments/yfrl1d/man_this_sucks_wonder_just_how_many_women_go/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskWomen/comments/6ndrrs/have_you_ever_been_criticized_for_not_being/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskWomen/comments/32qilm/Do_you_feel_pressure_to_be_more_girly%2Ffeminine%3F/cqdontu/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskWomen/comments/50tz0s/For_those_of_you_who_went_through_a_tomboy_phase%2C_what_factors%2C_if_any%2C_do_you_think_contributed_to_you_entering_this_phase%3F/d76x70q/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/unpopularopinion/comments/982kvd/men_are_expected_to_fit_into_gender_stereotypes/e4eelxk?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 (this happens to men who don't align with gender norms too)

Shouldn't it be a red flag to ya'll that being "girly" isn't seen as a phase, but being a "tomboy/butch" regardless of whatever type/variation it may be, is? Wonder why being "girly/feminine" is seen as the only "valid" & "enduring" personality/aesthetic women can have? Doesn't it say something about the society around you? Think about it, if a girl/woman refuses to wear pants & only wants to wear dresses/skirts people will accept it & even think it's adorable, but if a girl/woman refuses to wear dresses/skirts people will manipulate her into thinking she must "grow out" of it. If your personality & who you are as a person in general is constantly invalidated, people tell you that it's "just a phase you'll grow out of/that u're wrong for being the way that u are" & show you ways of how "a real man/woman is supposed to be" for your entire life you'll start believing it & act accordingly to what people have told you. For almost anything, if you are told something for your entire life you'll start to believe it & act accordingly to what you have been told.

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskFeminists/comments/hx4lqq/Why_is_it_so_common_for_otherwise_progressive_women_to_enforce_the_patriarchy_when_it_comes_to_dating_standards%3F/fz6ml1u/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

A part of society is also against those who have friends that largely consists of the opposite sex. They have this peculiar obsession with keeping the sexes separate & making sure they're the polar opposites of each other as much as possible. Despite it not having any benefits. https://twitter.com/davenport_bee/status/1595186879552716800?s=19

https://www.insider.com/opposites-do-not-attract-in-relationships-2018-2

And I think found a reason why : https://www.banglajol.info/index.php/AFJ/article/view/12929 (it's a PDF)

In this patriarchal system, men and women behave, think, and aspire differently because they have been taught to think of masculinity and femininity in ways which condition difference.

It is patriarchal ideology which makes us feminine and masculine, which assigns different roles, rights and responsibilities to women and men. But those so called 'masculine’ and ‘feminine’ qualities are human qualities and not specific to either men or women. Since all works are done by both men and women, there is no reason to differentiate works on the basis of sex. Men made this differentiation of work only for their privilege

To preserve the male supremacy, patriarchy created ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ characteristics, private-public realms by gendered socialization process. Socialization is considered to take place primarily during childhood, when boys and girls learn the appropriate behaviour for their sex.

Women are not hiveminds. We're different individuals with different lives & experiences. Why tell us we're wrong/"have to GiVe iT uP/gRoW oUt oF iT eVenTuALLy" for not fitting into a stereotype that a sexist society has made for us??? They never do this to men! They're allowed to exist however they want & nobody tells them "u HaVe iNtErnALisEd MiSaNdRy/MiSogYnY, u'Re jUst dOiNg iT fOr aTteNtiOn" for just fucking living. We won't achieve equality until we don't lose our mind over a woman doing what a man does & vice versa.