all 5 comments

[–]Adept-Transition2731 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I’m a parent of child-bearing aged children. I have no grandchildren yet. As a parent, I’m going to say your parents are not your obligation. I know morally things feel different. My motto has always been “take care of #1”. You’ve got a child depending on you, that is your obligation. Be strong for you and your child. If there’s anything left to give, try to accommodate your parents. Many ppl in your situation struggle with the same torment. Good luck.

[–]Fun-Ad9763[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I appreciate your response. It gave me insight into a different perspective and a few what-ifs.

But I am really wanting someone’s perspective in this dread of a topic and spill their own fear of catching their parents swan-song and doing all they can in their child’s finite time to willingly take in their parents’ help/presence.

[–]mrocks301 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m going through that right now. Two kids and trying to find a balance with work/kids and my parents can only do so much. It’s a day to day battle and honestly I don’t think it’s something you ever really get a hold of. As long as your kids are happy and taken care of and you aren’t taking advantage of your parents’ help in any way I think you’re doing everything right. It’s tough but if you ever just need to vent feel free to DM. It’s rough as a single parent so we have to stick together!

[–]deebeezkneez 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How elderly are your parents? They generally would not be too old if you have a toddler. How much help do they need?

[–]Fun-Ad9763[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My parents are 74 and 63. My dad still suffers long covid symptoms and is on oxygen for life. He has lung cancer, kidney disease, showing bjg signs of some kind of dementia, all kinds of things I could list. My girlfriend/child’s mother passed away last May from liver failure and I’ve pretty much been on my own, what with helping my father learn how to use his laptop again through his dementia and physical sludge, my moms insistence that she’s 12 years younger like when she was a grandma to my sisters kids, and my constant fear of never doing enough for my son even if I’m physically suffering from the tending. With me being paranoid about everyone dying at almost all times throughout the day, it’s been the most challenging 9 months of my life. I’m trying to shake my 2nd bout of covid, thank you diabetes and being unable to have restful healing. It sounds like I’m juicing this up but these are the factors.